Other Peoples Children

I feel for you and I would demand respect or remove my child from that situation. Remember who we hang with is who we become. It is so hard these days. For some reason I think my generation where everyone was getting divorced and children were being latch key or what ever we had to do to work and support them as single parents. Our children have become disrespectful. I worked retail for the last 5 years and saw so much problems with the parenting of parents. They can not go anywhere that the child is fed food and drinks. Teaching children to later become obese. Parents are a big concern in schools, stores,day cares. We do great with the children it is the parents that give us a bad time. So I would remove those children. If they do not treat us with respect your child needs to see the interaction of you and how you handle dispect with the children. I would demand it or get out of our lives. In every situation there is a learning and you will teach your child that you deserve respect and so does he. Good Luck Parenting is a challenge every day. Day Cares are mainly parent on loan, so be kind and care but show you will not except this behavior and I would remove myself.

I'm a teacher, & I only say something when it involves my kid or the hurting of another. There is no reason they should be unattended.

I said something to a kid on time that was hurting mine (for the 3rd time), & the mother came over to take care of it. She said, "Thanks, but I'll take care of my own kid." She wasn't mean about it, but she wasn't watching her son. I told her that if she was watching him then I wouldn't have had to say anything.

If my son was hurting someone (& I didn't see it), I would fully expect another mother to intervene.

I would simply go have a talk with the parents. You have no real control over other peoples children BUT things should change when they realize that you ARE the adult and you handle it WITH another adult. Namely, their parents.N.

One thing you might consider is talking with the apartment complex manager or office. I would talk to them from the safety perspective. Maybe tell them you notice several younger kids alone outside and suggest they send a reminder note to parents. You could even draft a note and hang in the mail box area or any other common area stating some of the things you notice in the play area and remind parents to keep watch over their kids at all times, that we live in a danagerous world it's now common place to hear about missing kids from even the best neighborhoods. Good luck, and good job with getting a 2 year old potty trained!

I would do several things....talk to the apartment manager,
take a child and ask where he or she lives and go knock
on the door, tell that parent what that child did,
whenever they ask for a toy or to have a turn: say no,
you don't have a toy out to share with *our son's name*,
only take one toy out when your are out...they don't
need to know what he has. If the parent does nothing
you can call cps, it is negligence to not supervise
your toddlers out where there is danger. Get child names
and ages for your easy reference. Those that will
listen to what you say and in return are nice, get
to have a turn, those that do not...always tell no,
and stick to your guns.

i would go ahead and let him share if it is his idea and the minute the child misuses the toy or other children start to, like kicking the bike, calmly tell the child that you are sorry but if he/she can't be respectful of other's property or be careful of other's getting hurt then the toy has to go. this way you are using your boundries and at the same time the other children are getting a lesson in if there is no respect then no privalege. end of story. don't take too long in explaining because they don't care. obviously they never will because they're parents don't care about them if they are running around without supervision!!!
also, i personally wouldn't want my child playing with children who are a bad influence. one bad apple spoils them all!!!! this is a good way to tell your son that how those children are acting is not ok. he's only 2 so he won't fully understand but as he gets older he'll get it. so it's a good teachable moment. we use examples like these at the park and mall. some of those kids are so rude and disrespectful and they're parents are sitting right there and don't do a thing!!! hope my advice helps and sorry for the ranting!!!!

AAAARG!! I'll never understand why people let their young ones go unsupervised.

If I were in that situation, when that child told you that you couldn't tell them what to do I would had responded with "Maybe, but your mother/father can, let's go find them" and tell the child you want to speak to that parent. It's almost bluffing, because a belligerant child like that would probably not tell you, but it's worth a shot and many times puts a child in his place. When the kids ask for toys, ask them why they don't get some from their own home, you might be surprised at the answer (also get some insight in the situation). I know this sounds harsh, but you can let these kids take control!!

It is NOT your responsibility to worry if those other children are having a good time. Try to explain to your son that you don't want to take the toys outside because they may get "lost" (I tell my 2 year old they might go bye bye). You can teach sharing in a more controlled environment. If you give in with this it's more like giving in to bullies than sharing!!

It sounds like a difficult situation for you. I know it's hard to speak up to other children, but trust me, the more experience you get as a mom, the easier it gets!! Good luck!!

That sure does put a lot of pressure on you though..being almost responsible for the neighborhood kids, ya know? These parents should be outside with their kids! Your son is 2 so i wouldn't tell him that the other kids only want to play with him because of his toys. That could encourage him to try and make friends based on what he has and not what he has to offer as a person or a friend. I sure do give you a pat on the back for watching your child outside though because in our neighborhood all the kids run free! It only takes a second for someone to take a child so good for you! My daughters are 11,9 and 6 and I still don't let them play in the front yard without me! I don't want to be the Mom on TV looking for her baby! I know I rambled on and on so I better start getting ready for work(lol)but one last thought..you may mention to the other Moms that don't supervise their children that you feel a lot of pressure when your outside to keep an eye on them! Just a thought..you wouldn't want them to try and blame you if something happened to their child!

It's not just apartment complexes. I live in a brand new neighborhodd and I see kids down the street, I mean little kids like barely 2 running around outside without a parent in sight. It terrifies me and I keep thinking "where are the freakin parents?!?!? It's just a matter of time until someone is kidnapped or is hit by a car on our street.

If it were me, I wouldn't let the bigger kids play with my kids' toys. I'm a hard A$$ that way, I didn't buy my 4 year old a toy, so the obnoxious 8 year old brat next door can break it. I applaud your son for wanting to share, and I hope you praised him for doing so...BUT I would make it a rule to only share toys with HIS friends...not random kids in the neighborhood whom I doubt even know his name.

I think Denise is absolutely right, you should address this to the apartment management. Come to think of it, what does the law say about unattended children of that age? I am not sure, but it may be worth looking into. If it takes calling the police, so be it. These mother's who don't watch preschoolers outside need a good reminder of how to take care of their kids!

I wouldn't worry too much about the kids not wanting to play with your child. It doesn't sound like he needs that kind of influence.

As much as these kids are disrespectful and can be a pain in the .....remember, they are like this because of their parents. Or actually, because they aren't parenting.

These children can also learn from you. Even in little spurts of time.

I agree, though that unsupervised children like that should be reported to some authority. A friend of a friend was charged with endangering a child because she would take her 5 year old daughter to a park and drop her off for a few hours at a time.

It's frightening to see children neglected that way, but there is only so much you can do about it and you can't worry yourself silly.