Other Moms Providing Snacks for My Kindergartener

I think it's time to take a deep breath and a step back here. You have gotten yourself all worked up over kindergarten snack.
If you are feeding your daughter healthy food at home then five snacks a week isn't worth all this, she will be just fine. If your daughter skips the morning snack or somehow it is missed by the mom in charge of it, she will be just fine. I'm guessing we are probably talking about a period of two hours between snack and lunch. Not a big deal. Same with the occasional pudding cup, no big deal.
You seem to have a hard time with the idea that you aren't in control of everything in your daughter's environment. This may be a good time to practice letting go a bit and working on some perspective. There are real problems in this world, but a handful of Cheezits at 10 am just isn't one of them.

17 moms found this helpful

Wow. Relax a little bit. Most parents are going to send in something prepackaged because it's easier. If I read "fruit cup", I would think Dole or Del Monte not me in the kitchen doing 20 individual cups!

The foods on the approved list actually sound like prepackaged items that can be bought in bulk and stored. If this is the school's plan, then they will have a back-up plan. If a parent forgets, my guess is that the teacher has a box of Cheerios in the closet just in case. Also know that if a parents sends in something that isn't appropriate, the teacher will call that parent and let them know.

Cheezits are not the end of the world, especially if she is eating balanced meals throughout the rest of her day. You do realize that all 20 of those kids will be brining in homemade cupcakes at some point too! Breathe. She'll be fine. You need to start letting go. You can't be there to "monitor her" every day anymore.

If it really tweaks you out, send in your own snack with her every day. She will probably want what the other kids have, but you can deal with that at home.

13 moms found this helpful

I think you need to relax about this a little. Your child is not the only kid getting snacks brought in by other parents - ALL the kids are. If one parent forgets snacks one day, hopefully the teacher has a back-up, but it won't just be your kid going without - it will be all the kids. Which I realize is not fun to think about, but they will live. Hopefully the other parents have enough common sense to bring in truly healthy snacks but if there was one morning she got Cheezits, it's not the end of the world. If it starts becoming more frequent, talk to the teacher. If you makes you feel better, then discuss it with the teacher now, or see if you can start letting them have kids bring their own snacks - but as others have said, they might have their legit reasons for not allowing this. Even if you sent your daughter with her own snack, there is nothing that says she won't trade with someone else for their snack. But honestly, you sound like you are worrying about this a little too much - you almost sound paranoid about "what could happen". I wouldn't assume that you are the only parent providing a sensible healthy snack and all the other parents will be bringing in junk or not being careful enough about how it is prepared. Part of letting our children grow is giving up some of that control that we have when they are home with us. My daughter will be going to preschool 4 mornings a week with a snack each day provided by another parent - if she happened to get fresh fruit one day, I would be happy that it's a healthy snack rather than worry about how it was prepared. Moms complain about processed snacks but in some schools, the policy is that the snacks have to be packaged rather than prepared at home. Would you feel better about the Cheezits knowing that they have not been handled at any point by unwashed hands?

EDITED TO ADD: My daughter has choices when it comes to breakfast, lunch and snacks at home. She does not get a choice when it comes to dinner - she eats what we've made, or she goes hungry. Same as your daughter if she doesn't eat the snack provided that day in school. Again, she'll be fine. Just like mine is.

9 moms found this helpful

It's not ideal, but it really isn't that big of a deal. Breathe, and let it go :)

5 moms found this helpful

Talk to the teacher.

I think you're being a little paranoid, but it's your child. You're allowed. :o)

4 moms found this helpful

Talk to the teacher. I am sure there is a way, to provide your own daily snack. If there are any children with allergies, then they must already provide their own.

4 moms found this helpful

I think just like you! I'd feel the same way. My kids all had food allergies so it was a must for me to provide their snacks.

4 moms found this helpful

Although I think you need to let go of your worry a little, it strikes me as odd that kids are not allowed to bring their own snack. Our school has the OPPOSITE policy. The kids MUST bring their own snack (upper elementary) And we have a much stricter "approved" list, which specifically bans Cheezits (only whole grain crackers are allowed). I'm assuming that at this young age, they are trying to make it all equal so no one has snack jealousy issues and children whose parents cannot or do not send a snack will still have one, same as the rest of the class. I would share your concerns with the teacher, ask that she keep serving sizes appropriate for the kids ages and time before lunch, and revise the list/parent communication if it becomes 5 days of pudding cups or more calorie rich treats each week. That is one of the problems. One of the more treat-like snacks will become a "hit" with the kids, so more and more kids will ask their moms bring that popular snack. Who knows though, there may be more health concscious parents in your class than not. Our preschool was like this, there were many wonderful healthy snacks people brought in. I'd wait and see how it goes, and see what kinds of snacks she gets and how often. If the Cheezits an pudding cups are only served every once in awhile, then I would let it go. Some of that in moderation isn't the end of the world.

3 moms found this helpful

I think if this is the school's policy, your throwing a stink about it is just going to do bad for you. I get what your saying, but you chose to put your child in public school and things like this are exactly what happen. But yes, I get it. And I really doubt a lot of mothers are going to bring in 25 individual bags of cheezits or whatever...there are probably cheaper, healthier options.

But look at it this way...our local K, for example, PROVIDES the snacks. Each student pays like 30 a year to get to use the snack cart. They don't get a choice, either...somedays it's goldfish, somedays it's Oreos! (I get my info from a friend, my children are homeschooled.) Even if the school provided, it WOULDN'T be healthy, and she still wouldn't have a choice.

If each student had to bring their own, there'd probably be a few kids who never got a snack because their mother forgets or can't afford it...I imagine that's part of the reasoning. Also, there'd be a huge to-do over "Why do I have an apple when Joey got cookies?" They give them all the same choices for lunch, right? Right.

I think you're making too big a deal out of this, considering what the alternatives are. But, like I said, I get what you're saying.

3 moms found this helpful

If you are that against it you need to call the teacher and let him or her know that you will be providing your child's snack every day and she is to eat only the snack that you provide her with.

But, I recommend that you lose the control now. It's only going to get worse as she gets older - sad but true :(

3 moms found this helpful

Wow I wouldn't like this system either, though I would probably just put up with it. It takes a LOT to get my feathers ruffled, I'm more of a go with the flow kind of mom :)
Just curious, is it a private school? I'd be surprised to hear of a public school doing this, what with allergies and everything.
Just make sure she has a filling, healthy breakfast every morning!

2 moms found this helpful

Wow, I'd hate that system, too! Our oldest is a super picky eater, so chances are he'd be going without eating a snack at all most days.

I would just tell the teacher you'd rather send your daughter to school with snacks you've chosen and opt out of the group snack.

2 moms found this helpful

I am not a teacher but I have worked in the schools before and around here parents were NEVER allowed to bring snacks for anyone else BUT there own kids for many reasons including food allergies and possible contamination. Even if it was a kids birthday they could only bring pre-packaged treats and they had to be approved by the school. Also kids were not allowed to share snacks with other kids or trade snacks. A little overboard I feel, but in a way it does make sence. You work hard to make sure your kids eat healthy and every parent views "healthy" differently. I would talk to the teacher or possible the principle and express your concerns. I personally would not want someone else providing my child with food. Not to be a glass is half empty kind of person, but there are a lot of sickos out there and it is very unfortunate that because of these people we have to be carefull who we trust with our children.

2 moms found this helpful

I agree with you 100%, I would not be ok with this. Frankly, I don't really understand why this policy is in place. Have you asked?

2 moms found this helpful

I didn't read all the posts, so forgive if I repeat.

I get it! To battle some of your concerns, let me say this to each of your numbered concerns:

2. The teachers prefer the kids have healthy snacks too. They should not try to repeat similar snacks in that time frame.

3. The teachers have a reserve of snack items so if a parent doesn't bring a snack or forgets, the kids are covered. ALWAYS

4. Tell the teachers you'd prefer her not to have these items. I think it is crazy to see pudding on the list. Wow. Cheezits, I can understand better, but still not quality.

5. In most schools they ask the parents to NOT prepare the fruit and they do it there for the reasons you stated. If this school asks that it is prepared, bring it up to the principal that this is not acceptable and state that almost all other schools do not have this policy for legal reasons.

I'd prefer that every parent bring in a large bag or box of "just in case" snacks for storage and each student bring in their daily snack. The "just in case" snacks are for the kids who forget their snacks. That's how I did it in my classroom (and I also purchased cheese crackers for the "just in case" kids....there were a few who regularly forgot).

Speak up and ask how strict their policy really is and about the parent preparing foods. Most schools are store packaging only from parents AND teachers for the students!

2 moms found this helpful

I agree that this policy is terrible for so many reasons. But even though I send my son his own snack I have been discovering that he is trading with other kids who have less healthy snacks! You can never totally win with this one, unfortunately.

2 moms found this helpful

Have you talked to the teacher about your concerns? The teacher may have no issue with you bringing a snack for you daughter. But brace yourself for the fact that she may not compromise either. Most of the schools around here have communal snack time.

In preschool a mom who felt similarly to you simply asked in the mornings what was brought for snack. If it was something she didn't approve of, she had a snack on hand for her daughter.

2 moms found this helpful

If you have a big issue with it, just tell the teacher you have chosen to opt out.

I tend to agree with the junk snacks and the unwashing hands. One reason fresh/baked goods are not allowed to be passed out at schools here, only prepackaged foods. However, I think the majority of the time this will not be the norm, so I would probably just go with it.

2 moms found this helpful

Does she have any food allergies? If not, I probably wouldn't worry as much about it. Frankly, you really don't know if the people working at the restaurant that you are eating have washed their hands either. I would be most concerned about other Moms forgetting. I would try to push the pre-packaged snack thing. You could always buy individual bags of trail mix, raisins, pretzels etc...

2 moms found this helpful

Yum, prepackaged food. Just like mama used to make. Yeah, I have a big problem with this.

2 moms found this helpful

While I wouldn't like this system, it will expose your daughter to try new things. You wouldn't want her to be the only one not eating what everyone else is. I'm sure the school has backup snacks incase someone forgets. But don't forget that you are just one mom. Chances are a lot of the other mom's feel the same way - though I'd send Cheezits for a snack.

2 moms found this helpful

Our daughters class is the same way, except everything has to be store bought. It drives me crazy because I am a whole foodie person and crackers aren't a snack in my opinion, they are a filler. Our 3rd grader brings a snack from our home and it is usually greek yogurt, homemade peanut butter ball, cheese, fresh fruit and turkey kabob, etc. They need protein, not processed carbs. I haven't decided if I am going to be "that mom" that complains or not.......at least I get to send her lunch and she gets a great breakfast each morning:)

2 moms found this helpful

Hmmm. I don't think they can really make this mandatory. My daughters 2/3 class did this and I found it to be a pain in the you know what. Not for the reasons you list, my daughter is VERY picky so I felt like I ended up providing snack for her EVERY day and then for every child two weeks out of the year. Even though it bothered some of us, I went along with it because of the spirit of community the teachers were trying to bring to the classroom. It still rubbed me the wrong way but it was a battle I decided not to choose even though it rubbed me the wrong way at times.

We did have the choice to provide our child their own snack though. to bolster your argument, there are not only picky kids but they have to make allowances for allergies. Will every parent abide by that and understand the labeling? "May contain tree nuts" "processed on equipment...." etc. It really seems stricter guidelines are needed, not just a "suggested" list. Did you voice your concerns to the teacher? If you did and she didn't budge, talk to her again and respectfully let her know you feel strongly enough to go to the principal if infact you do.

This bothers me because you have the right to opt out of this if that is ultmiately what you decide as a parent whether they think they want to honor that right or not. AND it doesn't matter what I think or not as another parent and what I decide to do. Not knowing if you talked to the teacher yet, it's hard to say how much they are going to stand by this.

Do you know if there are other parents that feel this way? Only because they say there is strenghth in numbers..... Ugh, hope I helped with my rambling.

2 moms found this helpful

When my son was in kindergarten, Goldfish were always a back up snack in case snacks were forgotten.
If a kid won't starve to death skipping supper every once in awhile, skipping a snack now and then isn't a problem either.
Generally the snack and treats sent in by other parents were what sugar addicts dream about, but it wasn't like my son ate like that all the time.

2 moms found this helpful

Yup, it really stinks. My son's Montessori is like that except it's TWO snacks a day. The best I have been able to do was get the head of school to send out a more specific list and the updated USDA.gov food plate. Perhaps some information about food safety (appropriate ideas for snacks that won't be refrigerated, appropriate food prep and of course hand washing) and food allergies. Perhaps suggest you could volunteer to chair a committee (likely of one) to come up with some up to date nutrition guidance.

Restaurants and commercial food preparation services have rules about food handling and safety. And still people get sick (and some die every year). The degree of complete ignorance about food handling is truly amazing and it is incredible that more kids do not get sick. I found my MIL defrosting chicken (the whole bird) by leaving it on her counter (in the summer) for the day (yup, from when she went out in the morning until about 4 pm). A restaurant would lose it's license for anything like that.

And the concept of pre made store bought 'snacks' (IMO translated as highly processed sugar and fat laden food product) is no more acceptable so I don't have a good solution.

1 mom found this helpful

I'd hate that system too! And I don't think you have an unhealthy desire for control of what your daughter eats. She's only in K! Not like you're walking into HS every day and singling her out. I would tell the teacher you are providing the snack for your daughter. Be prepared for your daughter to fuss though... I would also try to see if other moms feel as you do. Something like this should be a majority vote. If the majority want this system, then you have to go along with it. But maybe most people feel as you do or would like a strict pre-approved list. That might be a good compromise - make that list a healthy one and people have to stick to it! Pudding cups in the morning?? That's just weird. :) And i hate to say it but depending on your district, lots of mothers likely will go with what's easiest and cheapest which liekly is the least healthy.

1 mom found this helpful

It was the same for my daughter when she was in Kindergarten and I felt the same way. I killed me to find out that her snack sometimes (before lunch) was cheese balls or doritos. ugh. My only suggestion is to offer to continue to provide a snack for the whole class, but you'll be sending your own each day. Maybe her teacher would go for that in your case. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I would totally feel the same way as you. I feel much more comfortable packing my own snack for my child. At her preschool we have to provide snack for the whole class twice a year, but it must be store bought and contain no peanuts/no processing on equipment that shares with peanuts... That is surprisingly hard to do when looking for healthy options. We can bring in fruit but it will be cut & washed there in the classroom by the teacher's aide. Most parents will bring in bananas and something like cheese sticks, granola , organic goldfish. There is lots of competition it seems like at our school to bring in the most organic, healthiest snack so I have no concerns there :) Bring up your concerns to the teacher. Since our class leaned so far toward organic & healthly options, they voted against an ice cream party for end of the year, & no halloween snack - I sort of thought that was overkill. They are three, let them have some fun occasionally!

1 mom found this helpful

I would have major problems with this... to the point, that I would pull my kids from Kindergarten. My daughter has been in pre-k and now K, and the rule is to bring 2 snacks to class in addition to lunch (if not hot lunch)... and parents provide their own kids with the snacks thank goodness!!! They have a snack period before lunch and after lunch... I am sooo thankful for these "snack" opportunities because it allows me to pack what is needed to sustain her for the day in the way that I want. My daughter is a "grazer" kid anyway, so I want her to be "grazing" on healthy things, not junk food (Cheezits) everyday! I would be furious.... seriously, this would be a deal breaker for me!

Good luck with this one. Keep in mind though, kids don't "have" to go to Kinder! See what the policy is for 1st grade and do something different this year if it is at all possible. Or, talk to the teacher/administrator about it.

1 mom found this helpful

Can't you just continue to give your daughter a snack daily and bypass when it's not your turn?

1 mom found this helpful

Ask the PTO or PTA to support you and several of you band together to petition for a change in the policy. Doritos and Cheezits are not acceptable to me. Grapes, strawberries, blueberries, cherry tomatos, baby carrots could be rinsed again right before eating. cheese and whole wheat crackers, granola bars without high fructose corn syrup, string cheese, Lots of foods could be on the Approved list! get sopme support and come up with a new list. Do not worry if your child is occasionally served something she doesn't like, she will not starve and this would encourage her to try new things!

1 mom found this helpful

I would talk to the teacher. When my DD was in daycare, I provided an alternate snack for her for the days when she could not (for various reasons) have the snack offered. DD always had something, just not the same thing. I understand why they are doing it, but I would ask for alternatives. On "my" day I would provide for the class but still give my child her own snack the rest of the days. Some schools also require that all snacks be pre-packaged for just that reason and for allergies.

My DD cannot have apples and they are filler in everything. Even though we can "get by" with small amounts, she could not, for example, have apple slices at school. So while your concerns are not allergy based, you can still bring up the situation with the teacher and nicely ask for options.

1 mom found this helpful

Oh, I so understand.

1. I don't eat from everybody's kitchen, and I don't want my baby doing it.

2. At that age, you still have a right to expect them to eat only what you approve. And every mother doesn't care as much if the snack is particularly healthy. They probably figure that it's not the meal so it doesn't matter. I don't know...just trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. I think that kids have their whole lives to discover and consume trash and we shouldn't push it on them. Other mothers should take this into account when feeding other people's children. Ugh! I don't even like fruit cups because they are usually in syrup, which is a no for my house. (And, yes, I was like this even before I had my baby. I have always taken care of other people's children, and they weren't getting trash from me. By the way, "trash" to me is anything that has little to no nutritional value or is just not as good as it could be. "Fillers" are trash to me. Fruit cups with syrup is trash because it's unnecessary.)

3. I can't imagine how they can keep you from sending a snack with your kid. Under what circumstances could this be a bad idea? Are other kids jealous of your kid's apple versus their cookies? Seriously, how is this enforced?

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with you. A bunch of us looked at state guidelines and got the prek and k to implement them. No homemade snacks. All had to be made in the school kitchen with an employee making sure about hands washed, etc..

1 mom found this helpful

It should be up to each parent to provide their child with their own snack.

I agree that other moms may not be as smart as you are as to what they give their child for a snack. The other thing is what if the child doesn't show up to school? The kids go hungry?

Talk to the teach and tell her you are believe each child should be responsible for their own snack.

Quite frankly I've never heard of such a thing and my son is 17 and my daughter is 14.

Let us know what happens.

My thoughts exactly when I found out this is how my preschooler's snack time is. And there are at least 8 different allergies in the classroom so you'd think they'd just have the parents send in snack for their own kids. My second grader (at the same school) has to bring his own snack. I like sending him with all sorts of fresh fruit and veggies, yogurt, etc. We rarely eat things like snack cakes or Cheetos or fruit rollups/fruit snacks (hello? these are NOT fruit).

With all the allergy problems these days WHY would a school allow this? NO WAY would I want my child eating food prepared in someone else's house. Gross - sorry. I would have to say something.

Here, each parent brings in enough 'snacks' for the class on the first day of the month. Then, at snack time, the snack box comes out and the kids get to choose which snack they want. That's 24 kids bringing 31 snacks thrown in a box to choose from. If you could have the teacher impliment something like that, then you could provide a month's worth of healthy snacks and HOPE and PRAY your daughter chooses the healthy snack you bought. It's limited control based on your daughter's choices, but it's a thought/start! It does rule out the fresh fruit though......

I would speak with the teacher and/or the principal. Cheezits are not a healthy snack ANY time of the day. This is teaching kids that junk food is okay.
I have issues with the "..not allowed to bring their own snack". What if a child has allergies? Are all the moms going to be aware of that and prepare accordingly?
I think this has to be seriously re thought.

I agree with you but doubt you can change this. This is only the beginning of things you will encounter.

When my son was in kindergarten, we had to send in a small amount of money for an afternoon snack. And the teacher took care of the snack as they used it as a learning tool. I would agree with all the different allergy, that each person should bring in their own snack each day.

I would have a problem with this system mainly because one of my daughters has some serious food restrictions including no dairy. She's Lactose Intolerant. That means absolutely no cheese crackers, no Doritos, no Cheetos or cheese balls or cubed cheese. That means that any baked item coming into the classroom would have to be prepackaged so that the ingredients could be read and therefore approved or rejected.

She's also very sensitive to High Fructose Corn Syrup and food dyes. Not to mention her self-restrictions due to Sensory Processing Disorder. And her Autism making her change her preferences on a whim. Fun stuff.

I would be concerned about nut allergies and gluten allergies. I would be concerned with certain parents consistently not participating and leaving the teacher and other parents to pick up their slack. I would worry about parents not following through with any restrictions even knowing certain children might have life-threatening food allergies.

I think it's a really bad set-up.

Ummm...our preapproved list is STRICT. We cannot bring anything in that is not on the list and most definitely nothing prepared at home.

However, we send for our individual child and no one else. I wish I had some answer for you...

I also think morning snack is not a good idea! and can't believe they have a morning snack. Syd east at 11:15 AM...

I think if you have an issue with this that you just tell the teacher that your daughter is on a "special" diet and you will be providing her daily snacks. Other than that just try and enjoy the school year! Goes by fast!
And also too, for those against "snack" in the mornings, as a licensed daycare provider, we HAVE to give them snack-1 morning and 1 afternoon. State rules. Same for school.

IF you tell them they have special things they need to eat -they will allow you to bring your own food in for your daughter. I read a "not allowed" comment on here and wanted to let you know that if you were that concerned about her food, you can do this-I think the not allowed thing is so some won`t bring in suckers, cookies etc to eat in front of others.

The food should have to come in the store bought packages. It should not be touched, the inside parts, by anyone's hands at all. Most schools across the states have implemented this as a hard rule, it cannot be broken, no homemade anything is allowed at schools. I like this rule.

They usually have boxes of crackers and other stuff left over from previous snacks and that goes in the teachers closet. That way they have snack stuff for those days that someone forgets, some people are poor and get free lunches, they simply cannot afford to buy snacks for a class.

As for the kids taking their own, there is no guarantee your child would even eat what you sent or did not trade with someone else who has something really yummy.

If you truly think about it, why in the world would they even offer a snack.....

They go to school at 8 and have lunch around 10:45-11. That's only 3 hours, if you feed your kids at 7 then it's still only 4 hours. Having a morning snack is not a good idea anyway.

All the schools our grandkids have been to have an afternoon snack after nap/rest time. They have a while to go before dinner and a lot of kids don't get to go home to someone that understands kids need a small meal around 3 pm so they can make it until differ.