36 answers

Options for Miscarriage

Hi Mamas,
We had an ultrasound on Tuesday and the doctor was unable to find a heartbeat and the baby was measuring 6 weeks and I should be 7 weeks. She is quite sure we lost the baby. I have to be sure so they tested my blood levels which are still very high and good. I have another ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow to try to confirm the loss. I should also mention that I have had some light spotting for the last 3 weeks. The doctor discussed our options to remove the baby and I can't decided what to do. I am considering the pills but I am also concerned about the potential pain and was wondering if a D&C would be the better way to go. Please give me your feedback. Thank you.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

First, I want to say Thank you so very much for taking the time to share your stories with me. We did in fact lose the baby and I scheduled a D&C but I didn't feel it was the right time. I wanted to give my body a little more time to handle it on it's own. I ended up passing it the next day. A few days later I had an check up appointment and they confirmed I had passed it all. It may sound strange but I was so happy and proud that my body handled it all on it own. It was the right ending for me. I was so scared of the blood and pain but that was not the case for me. I only bleed like a period. No heavy flowing blood and I had cramps every now and then but nothing to bad at all. When I passed the baby I had no pain. We grieved and are now looking to the future. My three year old son has really helped make this easier. Although, I am pretty nervous to get pregnant again but it is better to have loved and lost then never loved at all. God bless you all wonderful mommies!

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Hi S.,
I'm really sorry to hear you're in this situation. The same thing happened to me about three years ago, including the spotting. It was a very difficult emotional time.
At the time, my doctor also gave me the option of using the pills (misoprostil or Cycotec, combined with a large dose of Motrin and Vicodin). The warning she gave me about "extreme pain" plus the pain killer combination was enough to convince me. I went with the D&C and felt good about that decision.
Another factor that might help you decide is that even with the drugs you may not expel all the tissue and so you'd have to have a D&C anyway.
Neither choice is fun and, again, I'm sorry you're in this position.

Hi S.,
First let me say how sorry I am for you-- I had three miscarriages in a row, and it is always saddening, to say the least. I went for the D&C-- it was quick, relatively painless, and let me get on with getting pregnant again. My OB didn't mention a 'pill' option, so I can't compare-- aorry. Oh, and I should mention the D&C required two appointments in one day, whereas I'm guessing the pill option would only be one, or maybe even just a stop by the pharmacy.
Best of luck!

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Sweetie, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Something in your post really struck a cord with me though.
Having had miscarriages, I was devastated with my last pregnancy when they told me it wasn't "viable". There was no heartbeat, I spent all day in the ER bleeding and they sent me home with my list of options and appointments to have my pregnancy hormones monitored before moving ahead with however I chose to end it if it didn't just happen naturally in the next couple of days.
Not only did my pregnancy hormones not go down, they more than doubled with the next test and I wound up having a beautiful, perfectly healthy son.
I'm going to say a prayer for you and hope there can still be hope. I really will keep you in my thoughts.
No matter what happens, just be sure to take really good care of yourself.

1 mom found this helpful

I see you have a lot of advice already so I will make mine quick. In my situation, I tried to let things happen naturally but they didn't. I opted for the pills because I didn't want to risk the scar tissue from the D&C and prefer to avoid unnecessary surgical procedures. Let me just say, that was one of the most painful things I have been through. It was just like labor. I had very painful contractions every other minute for atleast an hour. I can't exactly remember how long it lasted. I took pain killers and at some point fell asleep. One thing about it, once it was done, it was done. It was painful, but nothing you can't handle. Yes, you are left with the emotional pain, and that takes time. Good luck with your choice. By the way, I now have a wonderful 2 year old daughter.

I am so very sorry to hear about this. I went through this a couple years ago too. I opted for the D&C since I didn't want to have to go through the pain and have to see everything once it came out. The D&C was painless and over with. I would do it again if I had to. Take care of yourself. My thoughts are with you.

I have gone through a similar situation with my first pregancy. I decided for the D&C. They put me asleep for the procedure. Sometimes they keep you awake in a "twilight" state. It has quick and I recovered quickly with little pain. I pray you are doing well with the emotional side of it. That was the hardest part for me.

I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

Recently I went through the same thing at 6 weeks. I found out I was pregnant and that I'd lost the baby on the same day, so I was pretty shell-shocked. I did choose the pill option and actually it wasn't bad. I felt like it was easier because I got to go home, where I'm more comfortable, and have everything happen there. They prescribed Vicodin, which I took and felt ok. It was nice to have my husband with me also. From what the doctor explained, they would have put me to sleep for the aspiration procedure if I had chosen that route, and the whole idea of that seemed so invasive. (But I guess it would have been overwith right away.) So, my experience with the pill was not bad, considering the situation.

Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Hi S.,
I'm really sorry to hear you're in this situation. The same thing happened to me about three years ago, including the spotting. It was a very difficult emotional time.
At the time, my doctor also gave me the option of using the pills (misoprostil or Cycotec, combined with a large dose of Motrin and Vicodin). The warning she gave me about "extreme pain" plus the pain killer combination was enough to convince me. I went with the D&C and felt good about that decision.
Another factor that might help you decide is that even with the drugs you may not expel all the tissue and so you'd have to have a D&C anyway.
Neither choice is fun and, again, I'm sorry you're in this position.

I have 2 miscarriages. The first one the doctor advised a D&C - and I was so upset I just did whatever she suggested. The second miscarriage I had a different doctor and she didn't suggest anything. So I bled and it was done. I got pregnant the next month with my second child. In retrospect I wish I hadn't had a D&C but I was so devastated (during the first miscarriage) it was hard to think clearly. Good-luck and I'm very sorry for your loss.

i'm sorry about your loss i went thru a similar situation and tried the pills and they didn't work out and eventually had to get the d&c i would say go straight for the d&c. good luck and again im sorry to hear this

I had a miscarriage at about the same time and it 'resolved itself'. That means that I waited a few more days after getting the confirmation and basically it was expelled. For me, it happened all at one time, and sometimes apparently it will take a few days for everything to come out. Then you get another ultrasound to make sure that the womb is empty. I preferred this because I didn't want to go through a medical procedure. The downside is that you don't know when it will happen.

I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself.

Hello S., First off I m very sorry to hear about your loss. I went through the same thing as you in 2004. I had just gotten married 4 months prior so I was heartbroken. Dr said I should have been 9 week and the fetus stopped growing at 5weeks and like you, there was no heartbeat. I think my heart skipped a beat. I can still feel the silence in the room during my first ultrasound. He gave me the option of having a natural miscarriage or a D&C. I decided i needed to move on and have the d&c. It was done the day after my bday. UGH! The procedure wasn't as bad as I thought, other then the emotional side effect during the process. I had a follow up appt 30 days later. The dr told me my cycles should start in another month and asked if I was going to try again. I decided it was best to enjoy the summer as I was just 8 months into my marriage. Crazy thought, my period started that night. 35 days later i missed the next month and i thought no way could i be pregnant just after the D&C. I now have a 3.5 yr old little boy and just had my second June 2008.

Hang in there. Things happen for a reason. Don't let this consume your life. I did and 2 weeks before I fould out I was pregnant for real. I broke out in shingles from all the stress and depression I felt because of the loss. I still think about it all the time wondering what the baby would have looked like and if it was a girl. Since everyone of my family members with children, their first is a girl. My little boys are my pride and joy and are so amazing. I wish you well and take care of yourself.

SAHM/zombie 40yrs old married 5 years and have 2 beautiful funny little boys. Im very blessed they are happy and healthy and full of life.

I've been in that situation three times before--once was a missed miscarriage and the other two resulted in live births. With the two live births, the fetuses measured about a week smaller than they should have based on LMP (and pretty accurate ideas of when they were conceived.)

I do not want to give you false hope, but I would wait at least a week between ultrasounds and ask your doctor to do 2 blood draws 48 hours apart. If the levels are not falling, I would just wait and see what happens.

With the missed miscarriage, my morning sickness went away pretty dramatically and my hCG levels were falling, but we still did two ultrasounds at least a week apart. I had a D&C, and it was a fairly easy procedure. I would do that again rather than take the pills.

With one of the live births, the hCG levels rose but did not double, and everything was still OK.

Hi S.
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I know this can be a difficult time. I have heard that the pill is too risky and friends that have tried it said they would never go with that option again. There actually OBs who suggest not taking the pill. It was extremely painful and can cause major bleeding. Friends who have had D&C say it is the best option of the two.
Hang in there,

I would opt for the D&C. You don't want the pain (both emotional and physical) to linger, so it's best to use a safe, thorough procedure under the practiced hands of your physician.
I feel for you S..
K. in EC

Hello S.,

I'm so sorry for you! I would like to say what many others have said; that there may still be a chance that things are ok, I had the same situation with no heartbeat with my now one year old.

I also had a miscarriage in between having both of my healthy babies. I was 12 weeks when my doctor gave me Misoprostal. This was a BIG MISTAKE!

I ended-up having to be taken to the ER in an ambulance because I passed out and quit breathing when the medication caused me to almost bleed to death. I was given no warning about this drug. I had to get a D and C after all.

I hope that you get good news and do not have to think about this anymore, but if not, please do the D and C or wait for nature to run it's course. DO NOT TAKE MISOPROSTOL!!!

Good luck, my thoughts are with you.


I'm so sorry. I had a very similar experience a few years ago. I was given the same set of options, neither of which I was happy with. The doctor agreed to give my body a few days to handle things on its own.

I called an acupuncturist who specializes in women's reproductive health and asked her if she could help me. I saw her twice in two days and miscarried naturally on the second day. It was painful (physically and emotionally), but I was so much happier doing this than having a D&C or taking a bunch of super toxic drugs.

Let me know if you would like my acupuncturist's name. She's in SF.

By they way, I decided to try again about 8 months later, got pregnant almost instantaneously and carried my amazing now 2-year-old daughter with no complications and had a wonderful birth. If this is what you want, I wish you the same.

Best wishes,


Hi S.- I'm so sorry about your situation. I had a miscarriage between my two healthy girls. When it was clear I was going to miscarry I just let nature take it's course. It only took a few days of what was like a really heavy period with some intense cramps but nothing horribly painful. Personally I think going through the process naturally was much more emotionally healthy for me. It was sad but the way my body just took care of it really helped me to get through what was obviously not a viable pregnancy. It just seemed "right" and I'm not sure I would have felt that way if I had gone to have a procedure, it seems like it would've been more traumatic and distanced me from the reality of what was happening. That being said I did not have to carry a non-viable fetus around for more than a couple of days, I don't know what I would've done if it had dragged on. Do consider waiting a bit, as another mama said there is a chance your not miscarrying and if you are your body may just take care of it on it's own. Good luck & take care of yourself.

Hi S. -

I am very sorry to hear this for you, but because I have been in that same situation only I was 3 months along (all 3 times).....I had a D&C which was alot quicker and enables you to heal faster I think and try again when the time is right.

Just my opinion though............Roxy

Dear S.,
I am sorry you are in this position. I have had 5 miscarriages, but don't be alarmed, I have 7 beautiful children. All of mine came on naturally. Some were not physically painful and some were like bad menstral cramps and didn't last more than 2 - 3 hours. I had to have a D&C after one of them. My reccomendation is if you can do it naturally, do it. I couldn't be put out for mine and it was physically and emotionally difficult. I would do it on my own if I had to have it happen again.
God bless you.

Hi S.,
This isn't easy, I know, I have had two miscarriagies. The first one turned out to be ectopic. Which can be very serious. You'll know after you have an ultrasound. I had the ultrasound vaginally to get the best pictures, which is probably what they'll do. They need to do surgery immediately if that is the case. The second time I had a miscarriage it was vaginal and I opted to do a D & C which was very easy and took about a week to heal. I have 3 kids that are healthy! Even with all of that! Take care of yourself, physically and emotionally - I had a little ceremony for each loss with just my husband and me. That helped a lot with the emotional side. Good luck.


I just wanted to say I am sorry for what you are going throught, must be difficult. Good luck with your decision.

I had the same thing and had a D&C.

I would first like to say how sorry I am that you are faced with this heartache. I went through a very similar situation in December. We went in for our 8 week check up and learned that our baby had stopped growing two days prior and had no heartbeat. We were devestated. Our OB presented us with similar options, as well as the option of going home and trying to let my body do its job. We knew that we wanted more children and our doctor said one of the risks to a D&C (although rare) is a perferation of the uterus, which could threaten future pregnancies. After weighing our options, we decided to go home and see if my body would miscarry on its own. After five days of increased cramping, I finally miscarried. We went for a follow up ultrasound and learned that we had passed it completely.

This is such a personal choice, one that only you can ever truly know the answer to. I will be honest and say that it was quite painful, but I felt strong and was glad that I had trusted my body.

Nothing will ever replace this baby that you've lost, but in time, hopefully you will get pregnant again. We are now 23 weeks pregnant and due in November (we conceived two cycles after the miscarriage).

I wish you all the best.

Go for the D&C. I was in a similar situation & from a healing perspective (both emotionally & physically) I think the better choice. I didn't think I was strong enough to pass it & know what it was. I was in & out for the D&C in less than two hours. Went home & slept the rest of the day. Not to suggest that emotionally I was fine & dandy after that. I just didn't want to prolong a pretty crappy situation.

Best of luck & Take care.

Hi S.,
First let me say how sorry I am for you-- I had three miscarriages in a row, and it is always saddening, to say the least. I went for the D&C-- it was quick, relatively painless, and let me get on with getting pregnant again. My OB didn't mention a 'pill' option, so I can't compare-- aorry. Oh, and I should mention the D&C required two appointments in one day, whereas I'm guessing the pill option would only be one, or maybe even just a stop by the pharmacy.
Best of luck!

Hi S.,
First, I am so sorry you are suffering this loss. Second, you are not alone. I experienced something very similar in late February/March. My baby was supposed to be 8 weeks, measuring 7 with no heartbeat. Very, very sad. My doctor, who I trust very much, recommended the D&C. I went with that. It was an outpatient procedure in the hospital. I took a couple of days off work, mostly for the emotional effects, not because there was any physical pain that would have hindered me from working. It takes awhile to stop feeling all of the different emotions that come with this - take care of yourself during this difficult time. I wish you the best with your decision and again, I am so sorry for your loss.

There go those damn doctors always trying to be Gods themselves. Please try to let your body handle this on it's own. In most cases it will.
Women's bodies were designed to birth, bleed, miscarry, and the like. I had 2 miscarriages, and in both circumstances a modern doctor would have sent me for a d/c. Thank God I had an old time doctor who beieves in a woman's ability to take care of business.

I just wanted to say that I am very sorry and I can imagine your sadness. I was a baby who was almost taken out by D&C. As you can see I am still alive and well. My mother was pregnant with twins at the time I was in her belly. One of the twins miscarried (fraternal twins) and they did not think I was still alive so they scheduled a D&C. My mom held off, as she felt I was still alive. Indeed I was. So I just wanted to say that please be very sure before they take the baby out. I wish you the best. -- L.

My prayers are with you and your little miracle. Keep positive and don't take what may (hopefully may not) happen personally.

I have had a few friends not have a heartbeat at the typical time but that doesn't always mean the worse. Your little miracle may not be as far a long as they think. Again stay positive!!!! hugs n kisses

Not a believer in Dr's these days, I would recommend doing it naturally. As others have said, women were created to have babies. If that baby not be created for reasons not in your control, your body will do what it was designed to do.

In the event your body doesn't respond within a "safe" time period, then take the next step and assist it with the D & C.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I've had this happen twice, and it's horrible. My first missed miscarriage was at 10 wks (it was a very slow heatbeat at 6 wks, then finally none, and low hormone levels). I never had any spotting. At 10 wks, my doctor recommended a D&C. It was very easy out patient surgery. The second time it happened, there was no heartbeat at 7 wks, so my doctor gave me the option of the medication. I am not a big fan of anesthesia, so I tried it. It was simple to use, and yes there was strong cramping and heavy bleeding, but it was tolerable. It wasn't as bad as I expected. I had healthy babies after each miscarriage, so the results were the same. Again, I'm really sorry because I know how difficult it is.

First, let me say how sad i feel for you. having gone through more than one miscarriage (then having a very healthy little girl-don't lose hope) i found that my body took care of itself. it was sugguested that i have the d&c both times, but i could not bring myself to endure that on top of the loss. to help ease some of the expulsion i did use lemongrass and ginger tea. do what feels right for you, and remember our bodies are able to care for these things.

Hi S.,
First of all I am sorry to hear about your situation. I had a miscarriage last year. The exact same thing had happen to me. I had an ultrasound with no heartbeat. I chose the less evasive inserting the pills option. The next morning woke up and inserted the pills and by noon I was in a lot of pain doubled over for most of the day. I seemed fine the next day only to start with heavy bleeding the following days. I ended up having a D&C anyway and I will tell you what it was quicker and WAY less pain! Good luck to you and whatever way you decide to go! I also now have a 4 month old so I was able to get pregnant about 2 months after this happend.

I've had 3 miscarriages in the span of a year and was treated differently for each one. DO NOT GET misoprostol! It was terrible - I ended up with an infection and severe bleeding weeks later and had to have a D&C anyway.
If you're body isn't purging itself and your Dr. is concerned - get the D&C - it's painful but over quickly and you'll have minimal bleeding etc.
If you let nature take it's course you'll bleed for about a month from heavy to light and experience some cramping. You're early on in the process so you should recover quickly.
Sorry you have to go through this, it really sucks.

Hi S.,

I had exactly the same thing happen with no heartbeat at 7.5 weeks. I had been spotting 10 days. My doctor put me on progesterone, and one week later, at 8.5 weeks, not only had she doubled in size, but there was a heartbeat. Also, we were exactly sure of our dates because of timing ttc around a vacation where we had to be apart. Anyway, hope it is something similar for you too.


Ist, I'm so sorry that you are going thru all of this. It was more difficult than anything I had ever experienced. I had a good outcome (my daughter is now 2 years old), but for over a week, I thought I was going to lose my baby. I went in for my 8 week apt and my baby had a heartbeat, but was only measuring 6 weeks, and my hormone levels were super low, so they told me to prepare to miscarry. It was one of the worst weeks of my life. I talked to a neighbor who had several miscarriages, and she did both....waited to miscarry naturally with one, and did a D&C with another. She said the D&C was awful and that she cried through the whole thing. So I decided if I had to deal with it, that I would wait to see if my body did it naturally before taking measures in my own hands. I understand you can get an infection if too much time goes by, so I realize that your body needs to act quick before you have to do something. But I thought it would be worth the wait. It is such a personal thing. For another person, just getting it over with and behind them, that may feel more comforting.
I will still hold out hope for you and you little baby for your next appt....because no one seemed to when we were going through it (in the medical field at least). I wish you luck and peace of mind no matter what the result.

I am sorry for your loss, I know this is a very difficult time. My sister used the pills after a miscarriage much like you are explaining, it was HORRIBLE. After being there with her & watching the whole thing the physical pain was terrible & the emotional pain was worse not to mention that she had to have a D&C anyway. I would not recomend the pill to ANYONE. In my case I had a D&C, I was given the option of mild anesthsia and although it was not a walk in the park it was not nearly as bad as what I watched my sister go through. I also recovered much quicker.

Hi S.
My husband and I had nearly the same experience two years ago. We opted for the D and C and I'm glad we did. It's a simple procedure in the hospital and gave us an opportunity to move forward sooner rather than later. The good news is we now have a beautiful little girl! Good luck and I hope the ultrasound brings you good news.

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