S.B. asks from Atlanta, TX on May 07, 2007
Opinions Wanted on Home-schooling
My daughter is an A student. She has no problem anywhere except socially, which we have tried and tried to work with. She has made an honest effort and I'm just to the point where I feel if she is doing so well with everything else and the social thing just isn't working after both of us making an effort, maybe she deserves a break. I know people who have problem children have home-schooled and regretted it, but this is not a problem child at all. Just wanted other mothers to give their input, maybe tips for and drawbacks of homeschooling. She's 13 and this would be a Christian-based program.
So What Happened?™
I've said it before, but Mamasource is one of the best places on the net I've ever found for feedback! Everyone is so awesome to reach out and help other parents. Thank you all so much for your information. It helped concrete the idea for me that homeschooling is worth a try for my daughter. She's excited about it, and I actually feel at peace inside now that I've decided to go ahead with it. I don't feel she'll be missing out socially if she is unhappy already and has already had 8 years of chances to learn how to socialize. (We had her in preschool, too.) It's not that she doesn't want to make new friends, it's more-so that she doesn't want to be like everyone else and is unhappy to hear her school mates talk about sex and drugs and alcohol and having to deal with the rude behavior and the stealing that goes on in her public school. She said she would be happier to just invite her friends over after school than to have to deal with all that everyday. Even some of her friends, however, have begun to change in negative ways and it's hard to make new ones because of the cliques in school. So, I think this will bring us a peace of mind. Bless you all for your input!
V.P. answers from Pine Bluff on May 08, 2007
I was homeschooled through highschool and I turned out ok. The important part is to keep some sort of socialization with her. If she is in some kind of sport (gymnastics, swimming, Dance) it would be a good contact. It is also a big plus if you are involved in a church where there are a lot of kids her age.
There are a few drawbacks. You lose your freedom (if you are a stay-at-home mom) to do a lot of things you are used to doing during school hours. There are a lot of positives though. You have the freedom to take vacations during school days (just switch schedules) to take cheaper vacations. If you have to travel for doctors and funerals, or any thing like that, you don't miss school, just take it with you.
My daughter is homeschooled now and loves it! I would recommend it to anyone who feels that a public school environment is not the best. (By the way, a magnet school or Christian School may not be the best answer in your child's case. If friendships are the problem, they may continue to be a problem there.)
The most important advice that I can give you is to avoid isolating your child. It can only make it worse. The traditional public school environment is hard on kids that age. And while isolating her wouldn't help, socialization in other areas (outside of school) will be a better avenue of making friends! If you have anyquestions about our curriculum, schedule or Arkansas Homeschool rules, let me know!
A.H. answers from Fayetteville on May 08, 2007
I am a homeschooling Mom of 5. Depending on where you live you can enroll your child in internet "public" school, which I am doing next year. If you think your child isn't comfortable, or would do better in homeschool, then I say go for it! If it doesnt work, you can always go back to public school the next semester, or the next year. The only thing about homeschooling that has concerned me (my kids have NEVER been to public school) is the socilization, which is an not really an obstacle if you go to church, go over to visit friends or family, etc. I would definitely say give it a try if you and your daughter feel it would be better.
C.N. answers from Baton Rouge on May 07, 2007
Homeschooling can be wonderful. I was homeschooled K-12 and would not have changed a thing. I had so many wonderful experiences because of it. This being said, my brother and sister went to school off and on, and loved it. I also had friends who grew up in public school and had wonderful experiences there and have turned into ecxeptional adults with high moral standards. I think either way you can make it what you want. I would say that if you do homeschool, to be certain your daughter has activities outside the home, this will encourage her to work on her social skills, without being overwhelmed by the all day, everyday pressures of school. If you would like more advice, please let me know, I'd be happy to help in any way I can. I have worked as a nanny for homeschooled families and my mother was the director of the homeschool orginization we were part of, so I have seen quite a bit of the right, and the wrong, way to do things. Good luck and God bless you!
T.B. answers from Little Rock on May 08, 2007
I don't know anything about homeschooling. But I do know alot about being socially challanged. If your child is having a hard time identifying with other kids her age, my thought is that homeshooling will not help her. 13 is a volitile year for everyone as far as Im concerned, lol but its also that time in a child's life where they are trying to find their place in society (school) If you take her out of school, even though shes having a hard time now, she may not learn the necessary skills that she needs to function later on, say in college. I would say that if she hadn't any social problems, go ahead, but it is my experienced opinion that if you want your child to have a chance at learning how to deal with her peers, I would not suggest taking her out of school.
If the social situation at school does not improve, try taking her to a counselor to help her figure out why. The old excuses that say "My child is too: pretty, smart, etc. is way over used and those excuses are usually not the case. (Ive heard alot of excuses as to why I was one of the most unpopular girls in jr. high, I attribute it to my inability to connect with other girls my own age.) Give her the rest of the year, take her to therapy this summer and by high school, she may well find a new place to belong, socially. Great job on the A's though, keep up the good work. (high school was sooo much better)
B.N. answers from Texarkana on May 08, 2007
I am 23 now and I was home-schooled until the 8th grade and I am still not social and I would really like to be but I am not sure I really no how. I feel that being homeschooled for so long only con tributed to me being antisocial! I really wish that I knew how to make friends, but I never learned
M.M. answers from Little Rock on May 08, 2007
I have been home schooling my 2 children for 3 years now, and this fall I am sending them to school. Our family is just ready to try it out. I think we just need a change of pace and more structure than we have had. We are going to try it out and just see what it is like. If they like it as much as I think they will, they will continue to go to school. If they get picked on socially, or have major academic problems, then we will return to home schooling. My daughter has had no problems with socialization and home schooling. We stay active in sports and in church and she has met many friends. My son has had more of a problem. He is younger and more shy and prefers to make friends one on one versus a group setting. You have to figure out what works best for you, but it is easy to meet others through home school groups, church, and sporting activities.
For us the pro's of home school are: 1. Teaching the kids about God, without any negative peer pressure. 2. Having a close knit family, and having siblings that are best friends (even though they would never admit it, hehe). 3. Learning many life experiences that can't be learned from books. 3. A flexible schedule, my husband doesn't have Saturday's off, he usually has a Tuesday or Wednesday off, and we can plan our schedule accordingly. 3. Being with the kids and getting to see them grow up, and not missing all of the cute things they do and say.
The con's for us are: 1. Staying organized and on task. It takes a lot of organization and a lot of self discipline to home school. This has been most difficult for me. 2. Family pressure. My family is against home schooling and it has caused me to lose relationships. 3. Saying "no" to family and friends. We are constantly asked to do things or favors for everyone because they think we are the least busy because we are home. 4. Being with your kids 24/7. I LOVE my children, but we don't have babysitters, so I am always with them. My husband works a lot of overtime in the spring and summer months, and it gets hard doing all of the work solo. I have chosen this and I love it, but I sometimes wish I had some "me" time.
I don't know if this has helped you much, but I hope it has. It is wonderful that in Arkansas we have so much freedom when it comes to home school. I don't know where you live, but there is an organization called Home Ed, you can look it up online at http://www.homeedonline.com/ it is a wonderful program that has many educational events, field trips and play times. I highly recommend it. You can look at the site and find out if your city is included.
I worry that my kids will suffer the same problems that your daughter has, and if they do, I will continue home schooling. I wish you and your daughter well, and hope your family does well with whatever choice you decide to make.
T.B. answers from Lafayette on June 01, 2007
Hey there, I know my reply is late from the original post, but I just found out about this site. It is awesome. Just wanted to let you know that I understand your situation. My son goes to a private school for children that learn differently. BUT we do have several children that are extremely intelligent but suffer from social disorders or have difficult in social situations. I am considering and PRAYING HARD about opening my own small homeschool using the ACE cirriculum. I am in college to be a certified teacher :-)
anyway just wanted to let you know.. email me if you want to talk about the school that my son goes too. thanks T.
C.G. answers from New Orleans on May 08, 2007
my advice would be to try magnet or alternative schools in your area. the two cases of girls i knew in middle school, who went to homeschooling programs in high school, ended up disasters, i won't say exactly how, for fear of disturbing descency rules of the community. suffice it to say neither girl was a pretty sight at age 18 or even 25. all that high school rebellion let loose while they were completely out of their parents' control. maybe you know your girl and maybe that's "not her", but she still needs to know how to function in a normal environment, and if anything i would suggest extra reading at home to supplement her education along with finding a school that can do something for her academically and socially.