Oops--pregnant Again!

I have only one piece of knowledge to share with you. Baby #2 came when Baby #1 was just over 2 years old, and I remember thinking that he would have been a lot easier to deal with if he'd been 18 months old when #2 came. He was so sweet and gentle! He loved babies, too, but didn't bug them.

As it was, he laid on his brother, poked him with a fork, all sorts of things. he was a lot sweeter at 18 months.

Mine are 14.5 months apart and we planned having them close together. I wouldn't have it any other way now! They are such good friends! They are 2.5 and 3.5 now. That first year was pretty rough, but only because I was tired. I wore the baby in a wrap most of the time so I could still play with my toddler. Good luck!

with the food thing, I would just start giving him a little bit of what you're having (chopped up into small pieces, of course) whenever you have a meal. Little bits of egg and toast for breakfast, for example. Dont expect him to finish everything you give him, but ease him into eating regular meals with mommy and daddy.

My first 2 kids are 17 months apart. We were TRYING to get pregnant with the 2nd though so it wasn't a woops :) ha! After that, our first had multiple ear infections that were antibiotic resistant and ended up with tubes at 10 months, got the flu (which I got too while 12 weeks pregnant) despite our flu shots, and was diagnosed with peanut, milk, egg and fish allergies due to accidential peaunut exposure at daycare at 12 months. Believe me, if your load is anything less than ours was, it will be cake :)

We told our first that there was a baby in my belly -- as my belly grew, she would point and say "baby" a lot. We also watched "Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD which has babies crying and being comforted when she was like 15, 16 mos old so she could see babies, know they cry, etc. Of course when our 2nd cried at night (which was thankfully rare), the 1st would still sometimes wake up and daddy would go in and comfort her while I tended to the baby.

To drop the bottle, at 12 months, we started her cold turkey on a sippy cup. She was already eating pretty much table food since about 10 months so getting her food intake up wasn't as much trouble. We took away all the bottles. We did, however, mix formula (she was only breastfed for 4 months versus #2 for a year) and rice milk in her cup to get her used to the rice milk product (she never took to the soy milk...and we couldn't use regular due to her milk protein allergy). They eventually get the idea that the bottles are "no more" because now he/she is a big boy/girl. We did the same thing with #2 at 12 months.

Develop a good sleep schedule with your current baby and stick to it. Also, I highly suggest keeping your first in the crib and not taking the crib away from your son for the new baby (we ended up buying a second crib, despite not wanting to). We transitioned our daughter at 27 months to a converted toddler bed and that was the perfect time for her. We tried at 17 months just before the baby was born and all she wanted was to be back in the crib...so we did. We figured there was enough change going on in her life so we let her keep her crib and her bedroom.

Make sure you take time to spend with your son when the new baby is born -- even (yes, it sucks) if it means you lose sleep. I spent a lot of time with my daughter while the baby was sleeping, read to her or did games with her while nursing the baby, etc. I did not depend on the digital babysitter....if you get my drift. Also, if there is ANY CHANCE you might end up with a c-section, make sure you get some help for the first few weeks because your older child will be above the lifting restriction. I ended up with a surprise c-section with #2 due to a short-cord and failed induction (yes, like 6" umbilical cord instead of like 23"). My mother in law moved in for 3 weeks to help with the lifting of my daughter for naps, meal times. She also gave me a little break here and there...but mostly it felt like I was required to entertain another person, rather than her being there to help me....so make sure it is someone who will be really supportive and understanding!

Best wishes! It is really great to have them so close and despite my kids being girl then boy, they play together A LOT being 17 months apart so once the little one hits about 9 months, you will have a built in playmate :) It is really, really nice! We only waited for #3 (son will be 2.5 when this one is born) because doc said so due to c-section and me wanting a VBAC. Praying for a safe/successful one everyday!

Take a breather and relax ;)

Hi--
First, you must always do what works for YOU! What Momma needs is what baby needs. Next, you do not have to completely wean him by one year. I'm not sure about why your doctor is saying he should be having 3 solid meals a day right now---breast milk/formula is all a baby needs through age one--everything else is simply practice. Neither one of my children started eating three meals a day until just after one year--in fact my youngest didn't eat solids at all until about 13 months. They are both healthy children. Your little man will do it as he's ready.
The sippy cup is a great idea to get him off the bottle.
Other than that, my two are 3 1/2 years apart, so I'm not much good for advice about the closeness.
Congratulations!!
J.

I have been through this too. My little boy was 7 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. I was in denial for a few months....The entire 10 months of pregnancy I was scared, nervous, angry, and just plain resentful that I was pregnant again. I didn't get to enjoy my first born they way I wanted to. I was lucky that he was an easy going little guy, he was weaned off his bottle and formula at 11 months. My husband worked 3-11 so I was lucky and could rest all morning until he had to go to work. When he was 17 months I gave birth to our little girl, and all of the anger and feelings of being scared and worried just went away. Honestly, our son didn't give two hoots about the new baby, he wasn't big enough to understand what was going on. It was harder for him while I was in the hospital recovering from my c/s for 5 days then it was adjusting to a new baby. I am a sahm and he missed me and his schedule. I was dreading doing this alone while recovering from my c/s, (hubby couldn't take time off) but she slept so much the first few weeks that it was honestly a breeze. The trouble didn't start until a few months later when we hit the terrible twos with our son and the baby was more mobile and demanding. Now she is 18 months (last week) and he will be 3 (January) and I have a nervous breakdown multiple times a day LOL. I love them dearly, and wouldn't change a thing but I can't wait for the day when they are not in the toddler stage together.

You don't need to have him off the bottle right at 12 months, don't stress out about it, I wouldn't wait until he is 18 months but 13-14 months is okay too, he might not be ready to give it up and that's okay. You just need to break down and feed him, wear a nose plug if you need to, but he needs more solids. Maybe you can feed him something that isn't as stinky as baby food like yogurt, oatmeal, or applesauce. Does he eat toast or bananas?

Good Luck Mama, you can do it!

I have 2 girls 16 months apart... I wasn't not trying to get prego either when it happened :)

First off with the weaning- I was lucky and both my girls were off the bottle right around there first. We weren't trying to do that per say, but it just worked out for us. They were eating so much real food that they just didn't need it. BUT I will say I didn't worry about it. If they were still on at one, so be it. I would for sure just start to give a sippy cup now with water. I had water cups in every room for my girls to play with. Our oldest started to drink from it right away. Our second didn't pick it up so fast (at the same age), but soon did. So once we started to put the cup on the highchair with dinner, we would put milk in it and they just knew what to do.

With the 3 meals notion, I think it is more giving them something at each meal. Not that it has to BE there entire meal. By 10-11 months our girls were both just eating what we had at each meal cut up small.
I realize it is hard for you to want to eat, but you just have to suck it up and know that in a bit you too will be feeling better.

Now when it came to telling our daughter about my belly, we didn't do much with that. She saw it growing and climbed all over me, but that was about it. We did talk from time to time about the baby in there and gave her dolls, but lets face it, they don't GET it at that age. Even if parents want to believe they do, they don't. They are simply just repeating something you tell them and when they see you get excited, they keep doing it.
When we brought #2 home it was sweet and funny. She looked at her, tried to put a hat on her and then wanted to just sit in her car seat :)
She didn't think much of her.
Juggling time was hard for sure. I think #2 didn't get the fun bonding time with me breastfeeding, because I was always up running after #1 or checking on what that crash was. Our only time to really enjoy breastfeeding was at night and it kinda made it special.
I won't lie and say it was easy. It was hard. The lack of sleep all night and then being up for the toddler all day.... blah it was insane. BUT it does get better! Took about 3 months of insanity, but we all make it through. And you say you have a great hubby, so even better.

Bottom line is you will do fine and figure it out. You will find a pattern and way of doing things all your own, that will work for you and your family. Just don't worry about how #1 will feel and act and all the little things.... #1 will be fine and come to love #2 tons!!! Mine our now 1 and 2 and it is a hoot... still a nut house, but a hoot regardless!

PS--- I would NOT put your son in a big boy bed unless you see he is ready! I almost moved #1 to a big girl bed, but choosing to just buy another crib, but the best choice EVER. Having to deal with her getting out of her bed all the time AND deal with a newborn would have sent me over the edge. She finally got her real bed just after her 2nd bday and it was great. She got to have fun picking things out and it was a blast.

I have 4 under the age of 5. The first three are 1 year apart from each other. I had a toddler, and infant and a newborn. I feel that nothing anyone writes can prepare you for what's to come, but TRUST that it will be OK. It's a juggling act, but it's manageable. I'm not going to lie and say it's easy, but its definetely NOT impossible. You will find a way to manage. From one Mommy to another: Sending positive vibes your way. It will all be BETTER then you expect and you will look back on today's worries with laughter:-) Best wishes!

BTW- I LOVE the OOPS in your title LOL. Such a small word that means SOOO much!

My boys are 15 months apart and my youngest is 7 months. you can do it it's been done in the past. You will survive.
The hardest thing- If you are going to breastfeed it's hard to breastfeed and take care of the toddler at the same time. The toddler learns how to fall on his own. The best thing- The toddler is too young to understand why and when the baby arrives is conviently in the "I want to help stage.. so take advantage of that!" To try and save money we put our toddler in a big boy bed and that was HUGE for us and him. By the time baby arrived he was ready to sleep on his own and put himself to bed. The other great thing is that the toddler is too young to know MINE so there was little jealosy about the new born baby. The best thing... Pre School a few hours for the toddler so that you get some time alone with the baby or perhaps you could hire someone to come help you for a few hours. You can do it! It's a blessing really they tell me it is :) Here are some things I think of daily... My boys are already talking to each other and laughing at each other so I know the older one will help the younger one and soon they will not be so dependent on me which makes me a little sad. People that question you and say WOW that was fast I just think to myself YES it was and AREN"T YOU JEALOUS because I have two wonderful kids and I would not have it any other WAY! The other thing is my kids clothes are still in style so it's not really like they look like hand me downs. and know this everything is a stage and you will get thru it. Good luck!

One or two meals of solids a day works for some babies, especially if he still drinks lots of milk. If he doesnt he three, don't worry too much. My son is 14 months and still drinks from a bottle. He refuses to drink milk from a sippy. I'm not going to worry about it. He'll figure it out one of these days!

Good luck!

I
My children are 17 months apart. I too was scared and desperately looked for support from other moms that had children close together in age, while I was pregnant with number two. If I could change, one thing, it would have been to stop worrying so much! Man did I lose alot of energy on that nonsense. 
You are an awesome mom to a child who is lucky to have you. And now you are blessed with another one on the way! Congrats :)
I think that sometimes the world we live in bombards us with so many rules. Everyone is always trying to do things the standard way. What if the " right way" isn't really the one that works. I think that u should do what feels comfortable and less stressful. If your child doesn't want to be weaned off the bottle, than it is okay. You aren't a bad mom if you don't reach the deadline. I went thru the same things that you may be experiencing....wean off the bottle, wean off the paci, needs to weight this much, at a certain month, or be a certain height...so on and so forth.
All of this by a year of age, and I was about three months pregnant. There came a time where I had enough. I didn't care about all the dumb rules..and found out that the less I stressed out and the less I tried to force my toddler, the more cooperative he was. He did things at his own pace,  without tantrums or crying, and me feeling exhausted.
On the eating issue, does your child seem 
unsatisfied after eating, any ribs showing, looks gastly white and like a child from a third world country? I didn't think so. My pediatrician made me feel like I wasent doing good enough, and always had to show me the growth chart and give me disappointing expressions followed by " next time I see you, your son needs to be doing this, and off of that, otherwise bad bad things will happen..." 
Moms need more support and to be told on how good of a job they are doing, instead of focusing on the negative.
When number two came, I was grateful that my family stepped in and helped. I think that the help is most needed for the first three months. My family was willing to help me longer,  but I made a choice to try and wean myself from them. I needed to find my routine and start getting comfortable with two kids, I would think about an activity I wanted to do and then choose a day to do it on. gradually it got easier. The feeling for me was like conquering the world and I felt so proud of myself. One thing that has help a lot, has been a baby carrier like an ergo or
Beco.
My toddler loves his sibling, he can be rough at times, but we are always there to be watchful and protect. When I was pregnant, he didn't seem to understand, that there was a baby inside, and I didn't push it. He can get a little clingy at times, and I try my best to cuddle with him. But he has learned how to entertain himself, when I'm busy breastfeeding, or I sit with him on the floor or couch while breastfeeding and play a game or look at a book. It's not easy all the time, but in the end, it's very rewarding.
Anyways... Apologize for the vent, it is in no way directed at u. Hope this helps...congrats again, and keep up the good work!!! 

I have one son 17 months old. He was off the bottle by 11 months just because I would let him play with it in the tub, i'd put juice in it, and he thought the yummy juice only came from a sippy :) so he figured out a way to suck it out. Right before he turned one i just tossed all the bottles away and he never even new. However he is still majorly stuck on his pacifier. He only has it at bed time, but at the same time i took the bottle away i didn't let him have one at night time. He just easily went into it (probably because he has that damn paci! :) Good luck and congrads on the age difference, i wanted my kids that far apart as well they grow up very close but it didn't work out for me yet!

I have exactly your situation. My son was 10 months old when we learned we were unexpectedly pregnant with #2. My son was 19 months old when my daughter was born (she was quite late), and my daughter is now 3 months old. Like you, I was completely terrified and caught off guard by this unexpected development. We had not planned on adding to our family nearly so soon.

First of all, you don't have to immediately wean off of the bottle at 1. 1 is a good age to BEGIN the weaning process - my pediatrician said she wanted my son completely off of the bottle by 15 months old, and recommended I begin weaning at 12 months old so that I had plenty of time to work it out. This worked beautifully for us because we had several months to gently back off of the bottle. Don't think of the first birthday as the deadline, but rather as the starting line, and it will help you relax.

Secondly, if your son is anything like mine, he won't have a CLUE what you're talking about with the new baby. We explained to him, when we bought a new crib and set up her room and everything that this was "Sissy's" bed, etc. (we didn't know what we would name her until after she was born), but it was obvious he didn't get it. But when Sissy came home from the hospital, he really just accepted her as a part of the scenery. In fact, right now at least, he completely adores her. We praise him a lot for helping (around 18 months old, they start to really enjoy helping, and so we make a big deal about having him bring us a diaper for her or something) and for being such a good big brother, and it's currently a matter of pride for him. Whether that will remain once she's old enough to move around or steal his toys is not yet known. ^_^

If you're like me, you'll be completely exhausted at the end of your pregnancy, so your son will have started to adjust to having less of your time and attention before the baby even arrives. This may work to your advantage, because your son will have to learn to entertain himself, but he won't make the connection between your inability to fully engage and the new baby who hasn't arrived yet. Once the new baby does come, make sure you spend at least 20 minutes with just your son every day. It is harder to leave a newborn for longer than that - as Baby ages, you'll be able to spend more time apart, but in the beginning, 20 minutes is probably all you'll have. Feed Baby, change her, then hand her off and read or play with your son. If she cries, comment to your son, "Ooo, the baby is upset," or something, but don't rush to her. Remember that she's fed and safe, and that she won't remember that you left her for 20 minutes, but your son will remember that you made time for him (and he'll also remember if every time she cries, you leave him).

I have little pieces of advice for you (and I'd be happy to chat with you in a private message if you want). First, if you have anything you really want done when your son is 18-19 months old, do it early, before the baby comes, or accept that it won't happen for a quite a while after s/he comes. I didn't wean my son off of his paci before our baby came, and now it seems like it will be impossible for a little while, because she takes a paci too and he's not inclined to give his up when he can see her with hers!

Secondly, invest in a baby carrier. I got a Beco Gemini for Christmas, and I LOVE it. I had a Baby Bjorn that I have been using and it worked well and served its purpose (but the Beco Gemini is sooo much more comfortable, and it's good for newborns, infants, and toddlers, so it will last me a while). If you are able to strap Baby on securely and then follow your son around with both hands free, everyone will be happier. You will be able to lavish more time and attention on your son, and Baby will be happy because she is up against you and your heartbeat, and feels like she is being held. Everything is sooo much easier this way.

Also, invest in a good double stroller. I have a Combi Sport Twin, and it has been a lifesaver. Shopping with 2 under 2 is an experience, but if I need to, I can strap them both in the stroller (my Graco pumpkin seat actually fits in the Combi so the baby can stay put) and head out pretty easily.

Is it hard? Yes. I am exhausted, and some days, getting anything done feels hard, especially with my daughter still so young. But actually, now that I have this baby, I'm not sure I would have done it differently. My son adores her, and you can tell she's really interested in him, too. I have hopes that they will be really close growing up. In the end, it all works out. Good luck.

Weaning: My advice would be to introduce a sippy cup TODAY. Even if he doesn 't want it, give it to him with each meal, let him play with it, and make it fun for him (it helps if he sees how much you like him holding it, etc.).

I have 4 kids and the last 3 were in 3.5 years. Just know that it WILL work out. Try not to spend time stressing over it right now. Look forward to how they will have eachother as close friends throughout their childhood. This is a blessing and you will survive. When you are starting to show, talk frequently to your son about the baby and make it exciting for him. Eventhough he is young, the excitement helps with bonding. When the baby arrives, have him help with anything possible-preparing clothes, handing you burp cloths, making the baby happy when it is crying, etc. This will be his baby too-in a sibling way. Make it a big deal for him and hopefully that will help. Have your family take your son off and on so you can get some sleep too.

Best wishes! This will be a time that you will look back upon and know that it happened for a wonderful reason!

I wouldn't worry too much about time tables and when things are supposed to happen. My daughter didn't drop the bottle until she was about 15 months old. She just didn't have the suck motion necessary for a sippy cup. My son got off at 11 months because he saw her using a sippy cup. She didn't take 3 solid meals until she was 16 months or so. My mom told me not to feed her solids until she got teeth (big mistake! We are still paying for that one). My son was on solids at 9 months (again, he saw her eating and wanted to be like her). So every baby will be different. Try to relax. Whenever I worry, I just repeat "they won't go to college____." (fill in the blank--using a bottle, in diapers, sleeping on the floor, sucking his thumb, etc.) When the baby is sleeping, try to spend some one on one time with your son. From what I have heard, children that close together really don't know the difference and just grow accepting that they have a sibling and are really close friends.

Contgrats! You must be very fertile lol! A baby is a blessing, there is so much happiness that comes with the arrival of the baby...just think of so many women struggle to be a mom...

Enjoy this beautiful time being pregnant and enjoy one on one with you child till the next one.

Did you use any birth control? I would tell everyone it was planned. Good idea waiting with the announcement, you don't need the stress right now.

Haven't read all the answers, but one more tidbit-don't underestimate his understanding. Yes, he is young and won't communicate everything that is going on with the new baby. But once things are public, explain to him about the new baby, especially as you are leaving him for a few days when you deliver. They understand much more than we give them credit for, even at his young age. Even if he doesn't understand every word, he will understand you and your husband's attitude and affection toward him, even when his world is changing so much.

I've only had one experience with this with some close friends. I watched the 3 older kids while they were in the hospital delivering #4. Youngest at home was 14 months. He was just not acting right while they were gone. At some point I sat him on my lap and just told him what was going on. After that moment, he was easy going and back to his normal self, and very excited to meet his baby sister. Even if he didn't understand all the words I said, I know he understood the extra attention he got and that I (and everyone around him) was telling him everything is going to be okay and this is an exciting time for everyone!

Mine are exactly 2 years apart...I love it. They are so close in age that they can play together. There was no jealousy issues when we brought our youngest home.... It is superhard for the first months, but now at ages 3 and 5, I LOVE the age span. You'll be fine...some of the things you mentioned are much harder on you than them...like the bottle. Just start offering a sippy cup and tell him what a big boy he is!

My kids aren't that close together, but I have friends who got pregnant with the same timing in between. It seems it isn't always easy having 2 who couldn't talk, both in diapers, etc. But at the same time, now that they're growing up, they play a lot together, share toys, and are pretty great little buddies for each other. Every family's different, but having an 18 month-old accept a new baby isn't out of the norm. There will be good days & bad, and you'll have to figure out some good coping mechanisms to balance the needs of both.
On the practical stuff you're worried about with your 10 month old - don't sweat too much on the bottle weaning thing. Start offering a sippy cup at his meals with water. Then he won't always associate it with milk or formula. At one, our daycare had a no bottles policy, so starting on the first day, there were no more bottles at daycare, and our son weaned that day. We did still do a bottle at bedtime for about a month after, until he started asking for the sippy cup instead on his own.
For food - as your son approaches 1 yr., he should still be getting his nutrition from breast milk or formula, but he should also be trying to eat a lot of what you eat, and experiencing the tastes & textures of real food. He should also be practicing his pincer grasp to pick up food on his own & feed himself. Try pureeing little bits of your own meals with a bit of water to make his "baby food". If you're not eating healthy food that you don't feel comfortable feeding your baby, this is the time to improve your diet! i.e. if you're eating green beans, then steam & puree some for him. Then the smell won't hit your nausea as bad as a jar of nasty baby food. Also, cut up some fruit, toast, cheese, chicken, steamed veggies, scrambled egg and start getting him to pick it up himself. I used to do this twice a week and portion out all the foods into meals ahead of time. Then, I always had a solid food ready for him at mealtime, if I didn't have time to make something special.

I didn't read any of the other answers, so I am sorry if this is repeat. We adopted our first child, as a newborn we actually picked up at the hospital. When he was five months old I found out that I was pregnant with our second. I was afraid that I wouldn't feel the same about a new baby like I did our first, and was very concerned. I also was sick for much of the pregnancy.
My son loved having a new baby around. He could bring me a diaper, or throw a dirty diaper in the trash, even at fourteen months. Your oldest will love being the big kid and you will find a way to do it all. I often comforted myself when they were babies with saying they would never remember how imperfectly I made it thorough that time.
When my second was a year old we had the chance to adopt again. Three weeks after we brought that baby home from the hospital I found out I was pregnant with our fourth. You will get a lot of comments of stating you have your hands full, but you will not believe the incredible joy you are going to expereince by having babies close in age.
My kids are now 14,13, almost 12, and 11. They hang out together frequently and enjoy one anothers friends. Looking back, I know my life must of looke crazy, but we made it this far and I wouldn't change a thing.
You are going to do great!

My firstborn was exactly 18 months old the day my 2nd was born. I never found it all that challenging to have 2 under 2. My 2nd was a little stinker too but going from 1-2 wasn't all that bad. When my 2nd was 6 months old I found out I was preggo with number 3! My youngest was born 13 months after my 2nd. That was a lot more difficult, I truly felt like I had 2 babies in so many ways. I think 18 months is perfect timing. Just focus on staying healthy and rested, adding new foods to your babies diet can come gradually but should be increased at this point.

As the previous poster stated, my girls are best of friends, they are close enough in age that they play and get along great. It helps that they are both girls though because they have similar interests. My youngest just bugs the girls, but that's what little brothers are for, right :) Good luck and you will do just fine. You clearly love your child and bringing another one into your life will only create more love in your life. You seem to have a great support system and I highly suggest you utilize it. Have your family help out so you can rest so you can better care for yourself and your family. A smart woman knows when to ask for help :)

Like the last post I didn't read the answers from others but wanted to tell you that I have been in this situation twice now:) I was totally freaked out both times because I didn't know how I would be able to handle little ones so close together. However, I am so thankful that they are close together for many reasons. One awesome thing about having them close is that your oldest won't really remember a time without the baby and will adjust easier to a baby than say a 3 year old.
When we were pregnant with the second we got the first a baby to get used to (really helped with the dog too:) and then we got both kids a baby when we had our 3rd. Try to do special things with your first before the second comes along and trust me, you have plenty of love to go around.
As far as the food thing, the doctor told me things like that too but my kids didn't follow those rules. I fed them as much as they would eat at their own pace. Don't give yourself something else to stress over. Also, if you can have your husband do the feedings that will help you. I totally remember having to stop feeding my little ones to go and throw up because their food made me sick (everything made me sick when I was pregnant:).
Good luck. You are in for quite an adventure but really there is no perfect time to have a second (or subsequent) child. Best of luck and congrats!
M. P