Only One Bathroom Break or You Lose Recess??

Updated on September 25, 2010
L.G. asks from Carrollton, TX
22 answers

When I picked my son up from school he was begging me to hurry home. We live maybe a minute from the school. As soon as we pulled up he asked me to hurry because he really had to go #2. I asked him why he didn't go at school and he said because they are only allowed one bathroom break after lunch at 12:15. School ends at 3:15. If they take two, the teacher deducts the time from recess. I was really shocked when he said that. I would think it's in the child's best interest to be allowed to go when they need to go. I understand this can be abused by kids but teachers generally know the abusers. Is this the norm now? Do your children have the same rules at school? I thought bathroom breaks and lunch time were the only things a teacher could never take away. It just seems cruel to me.
** My son just turned 7 last July. He has a very sensitive stomach and when he has to go, he has to go! He generally goes after every meal. He has been this way his whole life. He only spent about 2 minutes in the restroom once he got home because he had to go so bad. TMI, sorry! This makes me wonder just how long he held it. We are in a new school district and never had this issue before. Thankfully he didn't have an accident in school. I am worried he might next time as he has before because he had to hold it till he could get to a restroom.

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L.R.

answers from Wausau on

this is just wrong...this is not acceptable. It can be medically damaging to have to hold #1 let alone #2. I feel you should bring this to the teachers attention along with the principal

3 moms found this helpful
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B.

answers from Augusta on

That's REALLY wrong. I would talk to her about it and if she does not relent on it talk to the principal.

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M.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son had a similar complaint but they had an amount limit and a time limit. So say they could only ask once but they couldnt take too long. So needless to say my son was always afraid to go #2 at school because he was afraid he would take too long. I complained immediately! The teacher and principle heard from me. All I need is for my son to get backed up because of some ridiculous rule obviously not meant for the majority of the kids. I think its absolutely cruel!

4 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Um yah, that is shocking.
Kids' bladders and pooping... does not go by a clock.
That is MEAN.

I think... you need to speak to the Principal about this.

At my daughter's school, they can go to the bathroom whenever they need to. EVEN if during a lesson. All they have to do is raise their hand and ask. Then they go. Anytime.
EACH classroom, has a bathroom RIGHT there, IN the classroom or right near the front door of the classroom. This is for ALL grade levels.

You NEED to question this.... and yes, it is cruel.
And to take away recess over it... is really, inappropriate.

AND to have only ONE bathroom break.. is absurd. Especially AFTER lunch! LOTS of kids, poop after eating. My daughter does. Its normal.

TELL the Principal.
Document things.
Put it in writing.

all the best,
Susan

3 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

When I taught middle school here in the metroplex I was reprimanded more than once for allowing children to use the restroom during class time. I always refused to follow the ridiculous policy of no restroom breaks during class. The theory was students should take care of that during the break between classes. Although I understand the intention, I just couldn't refuse someone that basic right. It may be coming from higher up, but it definitely needs to addressed. I cannot fathom punishing a child for wanting to take care of their basic needs.

3 moms found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Provo on

Holly H***!!!!!! Skip talking to the teacher and go straight to the principal!!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.H.

answers from Houston on

As a teacher, we have been instructed in years past to take "class bathroom breaks" once in the morning and once in the afternoon and then students should not need to go other times. There will be emergencies, but they are few. Typically, if we do class bathroom breaks and a student asks within about an hour, they can be penalized. I teach older elementary kids who can hold it, but are more likely to ask just to get out of class. We have bathrooms for each grade level, but only kindergarten has bathrooms in the classroom. For students in the outside classrooms(portables), they must travel in pairs, so for 1 student to go to the restroom another student must miss class as well.

However, 3+ hours between breaks does seems. When my child was in kindergarten, if you asked during recess you did get in trouble (with school doors kept locked, going inside to potty is a BIG deal).

I did have a student that asked to go to the restroom quite often. After a couple of months, I realized that he just had an amazingly small bladder and needed to go every 45 mins to an hour. For this student, I made sure he was able to go - but at times that worked around the class schedule and he soon adjusted to the schedule. As a teacher we are pressured to teach so much material and never want a child out of the room, plus our chances to go to the restroom are extremely limited and many of us go only 1 time during the school day or not at all, so the teacher may have forgotten how often a young child needs to go.

I would simply ask the teacher when they have bathroom breaks and what the policy is if they need to go at other times. Children sometimes misunderstand and if that is not the case, perhaps the teacher might need a "heads up" on the bathroom needs of children.

As for going straight to the principal as one person suggested, our principal's first question would be "Have you spoken with the teacher?" If you don't get a reasonable answer from the teacher, then definitely follow up with the administration.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

You didn't say how old your son was....

I would ask the teacher what her specific bathroom policy was. I have a child who is VERY rigid about rules. She wet herself in kindergarten (even though she had been potty trained around age 2!!) because "during reading time, if it isn't your turn to read, then you aren't supposed to talk". So she didn't even raise her hand, since it wasn't her turn. She just sat there. And then wet herself. And the teacher was not at ALL a tough lady. She was the absolutely sweetest most kind and understanding lady on the planet. Just LOVED those kids!! But my daughter would NOT break the "rules" by speaking out of turn. The teacher had no idea that my daughter needed to go. This was with a potty in her same classroom in kindergarten... When I found out why she had wet herself and not gone to the potty, I talked to the teacher (who had been concerned that she had had an accident) who immediately told her "Of COURSE you can go if you need to. Even if it's reading time. It doesn't matter WHAT you are doing. You don't even need to raise your hand if you have to go that bad. You can go to the potty ANYtime!!"

Maybe that is and maybe that is NOT what is going on with your son. But I would ask the teacher first for clarification of her rules on the matter, and be sure that your son understands them fully. No doubt, when you ask her, she will want to know "why" you are asking... that is when you can explain to her that your son would have had an accident in the car if you didn't live so close to the school, because of not having but one bathroom break.

If she confirms her rules are exactly as your son has explained to you, then I would approach the principal or administrator about it.

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H.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Tell your pediatrician this story. It's unhealthy to not go when you need to go. Have them write a note that your son will be leaving class whenever and wherever to take the time to go to the restroom. Also, call the principle and make sure they're aware of this this rule.See if it is school wide, or this rude teacher. This is disturbing.

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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

Oh my. So wrong on so many levels. Please be an advocate for your son. This is something that needs to be addressed.
So sorry,
R.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

i had a friend who's kidneys were permanantly damaged in grade school because her teacher wouldnt let them use the restroom. This is a serious issue. Talk to the teacher, and if they remain firm in their silly rule, talk to the principal. I cant imagine that this is a school wide policy.

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

What a horrible, horrible rule! My kids have diabetes. If their blood sugar is high, they have to pee OFTEN! If my kids had to adhere to that rule, I would be livid.
A teacher cannot deny or penalize a basic need. If she had to go to the bathroom often, should her wage as a teacher be docked because she is "choosing" not to devote that time to her classroom?
You are right! It's cruel!

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I can't believe this~ That is horrible!~When a child needs to go to the bathroom, they need to go! It is not ok to punish a child for needing to use the restroom period. I would address this with the teacher immediately and if you don't get any where with them, talk with the principal. Explain to them in no uncertain terms that your child is to be able to go to the restroom ANY time he needs to and he is not to be punished or docked recess time to do so! This could cause a huge problem with shame around using the bathroom. Nip it in the bud asap before it escalates. Good luck!

M

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I second everything Stephanie K. said. Talk to the teacher first before going to anyone else. There must be a reason in her mind for this rule, probably too many kids "needing" to go to the bathroom just to get away from class. If she won't work with you and your son, then you need to talk to the principal, but give her a chance first!

L.A.

answers from Austin on

No, this is not a good practice. I could see if a child was always going to the restroom and taking too long, they should call the parent and see if there is a medical or physical reason, but otherwise.. kids need to go and take as long as they really need.

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I don't know about now but when I was in school I had a couple teachers like this.
I got infections all the time because I could not go when I needed to which would make me drink less so I would not have to go.
If we did go to the bathroom we had to stay after class however long we were gone or a set time for each time we left to go.
Of course with getting infections all the time I would go a lot so I would have to stay after school. My mom was always livid with this rule and always took it up with the teachers. It would only work a tiny bit. They didn't always care that it was a medical issue.
I would have thought that all these years later (I'm 40) they would have moved away from this sort of torture to children. Guess I'm wrong. Such a horrible policy.

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R..

answers from Austin on

Gah! I had a teacher like that! at the beginning of the year she gave us "passes" with our picture on it. We could use our pass once a WEEK, and if we did we would get extra homework. If we didn't have our pass we couldn't use the bathroom. We got "bathroom breaks" every few hours, but sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go! I lost my pass, and REALLY had to go, but she wouldn't let me. I asked her 5-6 times and each time she said no... until I wet myself. I was in 4th grade, so this was beyond embarrassing for me, and I got made fun of sooo much! It had really negative impact on my self-esteem for years. The funny thing was, after it happened and we were waiting for my grandparents to come pick me up she asked me why I didn't tell her it was an emergency... !!! DUH!!! You would think that when a kid asks repeatedly to go, it's an emergency. Blegh. I would talk to the principal about this policy.

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V.M.

answers from Erie on

My guess is there are some "offenders" in the class, and that your son is an especially conciencious, sweet boy. Make sure you are very calm and steady and give the teacher a call. Teachers want to work with you, they really aren't out to have everyone hate them and to make kids miserable. Ask what the policy is on using the bathroom, and request that your son be able to go as needed.

Now either she will be extremely nice about it or she'll be a stinker, if that happens tell her,it is unexceptable and you'll be calling the principal and discussing it with them.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My pediatrician says schools are causing infections and problems with these rules. She gave my daughter a note and still there were sometimes she was told to hold it. After two infections, I went to the principal.

The recess monitors were making her wait even with a note from the school nurse and the doctor. Towards the end of her second year, her own teacher told her to hold it for 20 minutes. I was on that field trip and we were right by the bathroom. I took her anyway and my child was scared we would be in trouble. The pediatrician offered to call the principal herself.
I told her I think it is handled. I told the nurse about it and she wrote a detailed note explaining IBS(her child has Chron's and is getting flack at junior high). So far, no issues this year. I made copies of the doctor's note and offered to explain in detail if necessary. They all said it was not necessary. LOL
The principal once told me to give my child Miralax everyday which we were doing at the doctor's advice. I resisited the urge to remind the principal she is not a doctor.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughters first grade teacher has a couple of scheduled breaks for them. She lets my daughter go in addition to these. My daughter has issues that may be related to my kidney disease. I made sure that i spoke to the teacher twice already. There is no excuse for denying a child the bathroom. Whoever is making up this penalize rule should be fired. (or forced to hold it themselves!) I am sorry that your son is going through this. I would be at the school first thing monday!

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

I didn't read all the other responses. Sorry if I'm repeating another post.
Talk to the teacher. Explain what happened and how he has stomach issues. Most teachers will understand. If she isn't one of them, then talk to the principal.
My son goes through periods when stress makes him need to go to the restroom (#1) frequently. He will go every 30 minutes or so. When school started I knew he was stressed with school and the beginning of baseball season. I emailed the teacher, explained the situation, and that he may start going frequently. She said it wouldn't be a problem.
The rule is in place to keep kids safe and to maximize their time in class. However, it is one that needs to be flexible esp for kids like yours and mine and most teachers are flexible if they know a child's needs.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

That's so wrong on so many levels.

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