OMG My Kids Caught My Husband and I in "The Act!"

I agree with the issue of discussing privacy! Don't be mortified! You and they are all fine! Use this as a lesson in privacy and respect and you will be fine. If you start the conversation with that, and they ask questions, then you will need to answer the questions as straight forward as possible while being truthful and age appropriate!

Good luck with the baby making!!

You gave me a good laugh this morning!

I'd let it go. If you've protected them to date, they shouldn't even have a reference for what you were doing. Ie. if they haven't "seen" sex before on TV or in the movies, then they have no clue what you were doing.

Leave it at that. They think its funny that Daddy has a tattoo in a place that they've never seen and that is scandalous enough for their little 6 & 8 yo minds.

Also, I agree it is appropriate to have a discussion about knocking before entering closed doors and you may have to model the behavior for them.

When my daughter was a little over 3 I began the whole, "Mommy needs privacy" thing when I go into the bathroom. Well, lo and behold, she told me that she needed her privacey one day when I walked into the bathroom while she was on the toilet. All I could do was apologize and walk back out and close the door. =)

I wouldn't worry about it. If they saw something they will be sure to say something to you. I mean you apologized about them seeing daddy naked and she commented about the tattoo. If she had seen something i think it would have came out than. Kids don't understand what they are seeing in these situations. My daughter thought i was having a nightmare and came to wake me up once. It was funny because she didn't notice what was going on I just told her it wasn't a night mare we were playing. She went ok well be quiet i can hear you and it's keeping me up. She was only 6yrs old. They don't understand and they know you see each other naked so they think things are ok unless the get scared and in that case you tell them you were playing. Good luck

K.,
Angela brings up very good points. Perspective is important especially when parenting. Do your best not to beat up on yourself for should haves. Think about those values that are important to you. Especially body image for your girls.
I walked in on my parents once but I was older than your girls. No big deal. My mom handled it very well. Your girls will ask plenty of questions. And, as someone who has worked with Planned Parenthood in the past, discussions about sesitive subjects can be done with ease if you just use simple terms and take your time. Your husband's tatoo was the thing that your daughter mentioned. Great place to start.
Go gently with yourself and your girls and keep smiling!
L. M

The issue here isn't sex, it's respect for privacy. THAT's what you should talk to your kids about, as in: "When the door is shut, KNOCK before you enter. You may NOT barge in on people in this house." This goes in reverse, too--if your kid's in her room with the door closed, you should knock. (And have an open-door policy for playdates--no closed doors there!)

If you're worried about what they might have discerned, maybe you could tell your older daughter you heard her say she had to tell her sister something, and ask what it was. If she doesn't want to tell you, leave it at that, but say, "If you want to talk about it, I'm here." I wouldn't use this as an excuse for a sex talk; I'd reserve that for times when the kids bring it up, not when they accidentally stumble on something. I have two daughters, 8 and 12, and my rule is to answer all questions matter of factly and keep the answers roughly as short as the questions.

And don't act embarrassed--unless you want them to get the message that sex is wrong.

I would let it go unless either of them ask any Q's , but from now on I would make sure you either wait until kids are in bed or out for a period of time with someone. (I am assuming this was during the day as they were up & arguing about something)?? Getting caught up in the heat of the moment isn't really something you can do when you have kids , especially at the ages of yours!

I would take this as a lesson not to make the same mistake again as you don't want them repeating what they saw to anyone who will listen!!

Ok in your original post you didn't mention that you were trying to get PREGNANT! You made it sound like you just make a habit of going off for a quicky during the day and this time you got caught , yes I know kids walk in (mine have too). I am also not saying have a boring sex life and only do it at night in the missonary posistion blah blah but I am just making a point that as kids get older they are more aware of things and it is not right if you go off for daytime sex while they are playing etc , imagine how they will feel knowing & possibly hearing what you are doing , so embarrassing for them!

I would just let it go. They are not upset about it or do not sound like they are acting up about it so just let it drop. IO think every kid walks in on thier parents once in thier life time...

I totally agree with addressing the privacy factor! But remember, it works both ways. If you stress them knocking and waiting for permission when a door is closed, you must do the same for them.

I don’t know that you should use it as the opportunity to share the bids and the bees with your daughters, but do keep in mind, girls hit puberty earlier and earlier now. My mom started having “the talk” with me around 7 years old.

I know here in Baltimore there are billboards that say “Talk to your kids about sex before they make you a grandparent” which is simply because so many parents wait too L. to have the discussions and the fact is, kids are engaging in sexual activity younger and younger.

I do think you appropriately addressed them about seeing daddy naked and I’m sure if there are questions, you will hear them (hopefully its not from their teachers or friends’ parents, lol).

I can’t remember ever catching my parents in the act, but I remember in high school I was spending the night at a friends house and we caught her parents in the act (they were not being discrete about it at all…and apparently it wasn’t the first time she’d caught her mom).

First ... don't be mortified. You're a grown woman who is married. Yes you're allowed to have sex, even when the kids are AWAKE and HOME. If you only have sex when they are asleep or "out" ... you won't be having sex very often. And as one other poster said ... how boring.

Definitely start working on privacy policy. Definitely answer any questions they have with answers that are age appropriate. Don't get too detailed they don't need it and aren't ready for it.

Sex is meant to be ENJOYED ... not just for making babies. Enjoy it all you want and can :)

And this won't scar your girls at all. We've all walked in on our parents during the act. And we've all turned out fine for the most part LOL.

And until you've had a 2 year old the size of a 5 yr old JUMP on your husbands back while he's inside you ... you haven't experienced the FULL joy of kids walking in on you LOL.

Here's when it is oh so important to have a sense of humor. Some things I think are worth just locking up in the memory chest of laughable moments. No need to be mortified or explain, just yet. Happens to every parent. 8 and 6 are a little young to go into a full-blown explanation of what they saw, though I would be taking this time at some point to teach them about your family's moral values, their bodies, positive self-esteem, etc. And, if baby #3 was conceived in that moment, you'll never forget how he or she got here! Maybe, while Dad is on that business trip, it might be a good time to talk about womanhood and what that means, and teach that you will be sharing more "girl talk" with them over the next few years before they enter puberty.

Don't worry about it. It's happened to most of us. We had one of our 6 y/o's walk in on us but there were no sheets or anything to cover up with! Living room floor and needless to say, we're positive he saw things he shouldn't have :-)

In the blink of an eye, I remembered one time I walked in on my mom dressing - she was fully naked when I barged in her room- I was only around 6 or 7 I guess but I remember it clearly (too clearly) because she was embarrassed and yelled at me, I felt bad or guilty so it stuck in my head. So when I looked over and saw my son staring at us, I simply stayed calm, and gently pushed my husband away, and asked what was going on blah blah blah. He has not brought it up and I'm hoping that since no big deal was made, he will lose it as one of those unimportant memories.

Don't freak, and I wouldn't bother bringing it up. If it does come up, just say that they don't need to see daddy naked so they must knock and hear a "come in" before they come in.

We've just learned that we only have "relations" in a place with a door that locks now!!!

Don't worry, it happens to everyone, if it happens again, just stay calm and don't make an issue of it. Remember, even though we don't want them to see mommy and daddy naked and having sex, if you simply make it look like you're cuddling under covers or something along those lines, you can say you and daddy are cuddling.

hee! poor K.! my older kid did that around age 4 and yelled 'STOP WRESTLING!!!' he actually was a little distressed, so we just calmly told him that we were enjoying private time with each other and that he must remember to knock if the door was closed. he seems to have recovered just fine and made it to 23 without needing a shrink.
i love that you are enjoying scrumpage in mid-day and you should, even when you're not baby-making.
also love that your simple statement afterwards was the perfect 'sorry you saw daddy naked' and her response.
reinforce privacy laws and quit worrying. this will be one of your favorite tales to tell down the road!
:) khairete
S.

Calm down. It's a rite-of-passage of sorts. They weren't camped out trying to see what goes on behind your closed door. They forgot the rules of privacy and barged in. You have no reason to make excuses for your behavior. You're married, responsible adults very aware of the possible outcomes of your behavior (ie. more children to barge in on you later in life.) It's allowed. This is something that Mommys and Daddys do because they love each other. You can use whatever simple terms you like. I don't think the 8 year old is too young to start having the "girl stuff" talk with. I hit puberty at 11 and had already known for a few years what was going to happen, that made it less traumatizing.

I would focus more on the privacy and respecting boundaries issues. Say things like, "Sometimes Mommy and Daddy need alone time." Or, "You wouldn't like it if we barged in on you in the bathroom, would you?" Perhaps it would be a good reminder to put a sign on the outside of bedroom and bathroom doors that says, "If this door is closed, knock before entering." That would help keep girls, even in the heat of an argument, from barging in to anywhere. (Perhaps put a drawing on your husband's tattoo on the sign as a funny reminder.) :-)

Good luck.

Hello!

I would also disregard the woman that said not to have sex unless the kids are out or asleep...what a boring sex life that would be! And for goodness sakes alive, you are at a great age to have sex, you both still have the urge! One day, it won't always be that way...age will take over and yada yada...you kow the rest. Seriously, that would be a very boring sex life! :)
In a marriage you have many things...and sex is part of it. Now, your kids don't need to see it, and I am sure that locking the door won't be an issue again, after today you will always make sure it's locked I am sure.
I wouldn't bring it back up to the kids, but if you hear them talking about it to each other or something they yes...be sure you have your birds and bees talk ready for them sometime soon...unfortunatly in this day in age, kids are having sex at like 10 and 12. It's mortifying! So this talk will have to be said earlier than usual. But the thing to always remember...mommy and daddy are married and love each other so it's perfectly normal for them to have sex! For crying out loud, it's not just the baby maker move, it's an act of LOVE!!! :)
I hope that helps you relax and not worry so much. I am sure that your girls have seen you kiss, hug and cuddle...this is just what parents do!

Good luck on getting preggo!
God bless!

Let it go, don't bring it up unless they say something. It sounds like you were not in the swing of things, just finished and getting dressed. I would not beat yourself up over it, a bunch of us have been caught by our kids. It happens and yes you feel horrified, but you learn real fast to double check the door lock.

OMG!! I'm sorry but this is HILARIOUS!!! Okay, first, I know you are mortified, but breathe! Worst-case scenario, when the girls get old enough to really understand what daddy was doing like that, they will be grossed out but comforted by the fact that their parents liked each other. I don't think I would treat it like a big deal by prying them for more information. You could spark a discussion with them about how it's good for mom's and dad's to love each other and show affection and talk about appropriate boundaries, i.e. adults who are married etc. That could lead one of them to give away how much they saw w/o you directly asking for the info. Above all, don't transmit any negative vibes to them! What happened was perfectly natural and desirable and that's the feeling you want your daughters to associate with it.

I would take the opportunity to brief them on barging into CLOSED DOORS however, and talk about privacy. I remember my siblings and I got the lecture! KNOCK FIRST! I didn't know why at the time...boy do I understand now (2 and 4 y/o)!

Good luck, I hope this helps!

I just wanted to say that your post was hysterical!! This is probably going to happen to all of us...so I should probably enjoy that my daughter is still confined to a crib..ha!

i'm sorry, but kate h's advice is ridiculous. you weren't "getting caught up in the heat of the moment," you're intentionally trying to have another baby. good for you!! i'm sure you didn't predict they would come barreling in. and even if you had just been having sex for a good time, that's awesome too. we're not supposed to quit having spontaneous sex just because we have older kids in the house. sheesh.

i know you're horrified, but i'd only bring it up if they have questions. one of the biggest mistakes you can make with kids and having "the talk" is telling them too much when they're not ready for it. let their questions lead you.

and much later on, IF they remember this, they will be happy to know their parents have a healthy sex life! :) i caught my parents when i was 10 or 11 and although it was weird at the time, i can smile about it now.