22 answers

Older Adult Children and Christmas Gifts.

Hi Ladies, I need some of your insight on buying Christmas gift for my older adult children. They are 23 and 25, we do not have the money we used to when they were little. We have been cutting back on everyone. My mom and MIL birthdays are a day apart so I gave them photos of the kids. My husband say's 100 per adult child is what we have to spend. I feel we should spend more. Hubby thinks they are older now and should not expect us to buy tons of gifts anymore. We do have a 13 year old at home that will most likely get what he wants because he is still young. I guess I am feeling a little torn because I do not want them to feel hurt. Would you think its just fine to spend less on the older ones now.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Feeling better already, I guess he was right with this one. Thanks Ladies!

I know my older ones would be just fine with it....it's me that was having a hard time. They will be happy with anything they get. I have always loved to see them open wonderful gifts. We will have a great day together no matter what! They all are very loving children.

Featured Answers

Absolutely! They are no longer kids. I don't spend $100 per adult child; they get a $50 GC. I have eight grandchildren, THEIR children, that I spend my money on. But if I didn't have the grandchildren, they would still only get about $50 either spent on gifts or in a GC. They are adults now; no need to treat them like children!

3 moms found this helpful

I told my older kids (21, 20, 20, 19) that this year they wouldn't be getting as much. I have younger ones at home (11, 8, 6 and 3) that I was going to focus on. I still spent about $100.00 on each of them. I don't feel bad, they already have most of what they want/need. They're fine with it, cause they understand.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Golly, I don't spend that much on my grown children. They do get gifts, but we're not into big-bucks items. If your adult children are hurt because you're not spending a lot on them, they're not very adult, are they? But you think more highly of them than that!

5 moms found this helpful

$100 is fine. You could even go with less. You don't have to tell your children how much you're spending on them.

Honestly, it's not about how much money you spend. It's about the TIME you spend.

4 moms found this helpful

As an adult child whose parents did the same thing, DO NOT feel bad!! I never felt hurt. As I became my own adult, and as my parents got older and started living off their retirement money, it became obvious to me that they had to stop spending as much on me! It all made sense. It probably will to your kids too :)

4 moms found this helpful

As adults, with 4 of us kids, our spouses, my half brother and his wife that my Mom took under her wing (our father and my step-mom/half bro's mom were deceased), plus the adult grandchildren...my Mom had many to buy for (plus all the little ones). She was famous for handmade items she worked on throughout the year, but the store bought gifts were well known too!

She started this trend of buying us safety items which many of us still use and appreciate. Fantastic first aid kits from the Red Cross (many of us hunt/fish/snowmobile,and I do home childcare so they are great to have and use). Carbon Monoxide detectors. Fire extinguishers. NOAA weather radios. LED flashlight sets for all over the house.

Then she made us things like scarves, hats, mittens, ornaments...all personalized and special.

Now that she is gone (she passed away 5 years ago), we all remember her fondly and how she wanted us to be safe. All of the items are still relevant and useful all these years later! I know I will do the same when my own daughter moves out on her own!

My in laws spend less than $100 on each of us. We usually get a shirt, sweater or PJs , maybe a book or CD or something they know we wanted, then a family item like game, video game, movies, or movie tickets, etc. They spend a little more on our daughter, even tho she is 18 this year. She gets a few more gifts, which is what we would prefer if they are doing a budget for each family "unit".

Good luck and Happy Holidays!

3 moms found this helpful

I told my older kids (21, 20, 20, 19) that this year they wouldn't be getting as much. I have younger ones at home (11, 8, 6 and 3) that I was going to focus on. I still spent about $100.00 on each of them. I don't feel bad, they already have most of what they want/need. They're fine with it, cause they understand.

3 moms found this helpful

$100.. is very generous.

I am sure they will be thrilled even with the cash, wrapped up in little boxes.

3 moms found this helpful

If you spend $1000 on your 13 year old then $100 is not enough on the older ones because you can obviously afford it or to cut back on the younger one (IMO).

Otherwise $100 is reasonable especially if you are creative...find awesome deals (think Groupon, Black Friday sales, clearance items, etc). I was able to get my son two pair of jeans, three shirts, and two pair of shorts from Aeropostle for $100 when they were on sale back in the fall (the normal cost would have been $80 for just the jeans) and for his birthday I was able to get a paintball outing for six people for $20 rather than $20 per person.

BTW, I understand how you feel...I have a 6 yr old and 21 yr old.

3 moms found this helpful

We only buy for the kids in my family so i see no problem with spending less on the adult children. I am 27 and have not gotten a gift from my mom and stepdad at all since i was 21 its really not a big deal. I think $100 each is generous.

3 moms found this helpful

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