Ok, I Know I Won't Get Much Sympathy, but Here Goes...

Totally understand. My husband and I both have good jobs; however, still concerned about finances and were tight every month with paying bills. Last year, we put ourselves on a spending freeze. We cut-back on Directv (eliminated HBO, etc). Cancelled one of our satellite radio subscribtions. Made our lunches everyday for work. My husband stopped hiring someone to mow our lawn, etc. We cut coupons until the Costco opened. We basically elimitated over $2,000 in expenses. That really helped free up some money. We kind of got away from this mid-year again this year and just talked about going on a spending freeze again until that frees up some money. When you go on a spending freeze it really takes you back b/c a small purchase here and there really adds up to a whole lot. We also looked at free entertainment options - park, farmer's market, etc. I went to the park a lot last summer. We never ate out; that can save a lot of money. Even if you eat out only 1x a week for a family of four, that can add up to a lot - an inexpensive dinner of $20x52 weeks a year = $1,040 a year. That would be one month's mortgage for you. When you start thinking in those terms; it really helps you save. Good luck! One more thing we did for free entertainment. My husband spend his sundays looking through the paper for upcoming movies on cable; tivo them for movie night with the kids. we have not been to a movie theatre or rented a movie in over 2 years. since we pay for directv we may as well use it the max!!

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We keep every receipt. At the end of the month my husband puts the total in a financial book and splittes in catagores. It has helped us to truely see what it us and where we can cut back for the up coming month.
One other thing, $1200 x 12 months is a fourth of your total annual salary. Is it possible that your husband's part time job is not really worth it if you could arrange to care for your children between the two of you?
We went through that and decided my husband would stay home. Sounds wired but just a few weeks ago he got a job at the school bus barn because at 18 months old our daughter can now go with him and she loves it, too. It brings in about $1000 a month add the savings of daycare and it works good for us.
If you are interested in extra income without having to go to a second job visit my website at www.MomsMakeDollars.com

Hi R.,

I could go on and on and on here because I am in ExACTLY the same situation except I have ONE child.. so you are a bit "in it" more than I am. I could give you a thousand "things" but I will offer this. TAKE FINANCIAL PEACE UNIVERSITY. It changed my marriage, my thinking, set a budget, set rules around "life" so that we manage our resources well, so that we live freely (not just debt free) but free from that "I'm broke no matter what I do" feeling. I was hesitant... my husband was less than excited to try it and it changed our marriage. There are resources to teach your children too. If you can't afford to go (I think it's $100) my husband and I will pay for you and your husband to go at our church. It's 13 weeks and it's SERIOUSLY the greatest gift you can give to your family and YOURSELF!!!

My honest advice? Buy a copy of Quicken software. Install it. Load up your financial transactions in that thing and update it every day, every time you buy something. Categorize each transaction. Reconcile your checking account with it every week at least, if not more often.

You can get it to show you exactly where your money is flying out the window AND set budget goals with it. It's the best $40 my husband and I ever spent. AND we've caught the bank and other merchants making mistakes like double charges, etc. Worth every cent.

The best way I know to find out where your money goes is to write it down, every penny. If you buy a gumball, write it down. Do this for 60 days, both you and your husband, then sit down and I think you will be amazed how much money you spend without even thinking about it. After that time, you can develop a plan of how to spend responsibly. Maybe giving each of you a monthly allowance after necessity bills are paid will curtail frivolous spending. It is worth a try.

I have learned that the more money you make - the more you spend. It has been like that since the beginning of time. What you need to do is go back and evaluate the last two months, using your bank statement. See where all your money is going. If it is going towards eating out, then you should cut that down, if it is going towards misc purchases/shopping/etc........then divide that into different groups (i.e. food misc/clothes misc/kids misc/music/movies...etc) and then see where you can cut back. If you use a lot of "cash" that could be where your money is going - once you break a $20 - you can pretty much count it gone without ever knowing where it went. I would stop your "cash" spending and strictly go with the bank card so you can properly document where all your money is going.....everyone is struggling right now, whether you make $100K a year or just $40k or even less - this is a hard economy and EVERYONE deserves sympathy - I currently have only one paycheck and we barely clear $35K a year, and we struggle, but when we were making $60k a year together we struggled too - sometimes you have to MAKE yourself put money away for that rainy day occassion!

Good Luck

party pooper alert:
ok, i think this might just be a selfish vent, but i am so sick of hearing how wonderful dave ramsey is! arggggh!!!

what's the big deal? don't spend money on stuff you don't need. re-evaluate what a "need" is. scrape together a rainy-day fund so you don't allow your emotions about an unexpected expense to unmotivate your efforts to get out of debt. pay off credit cards; every bit helps.
once you're out of debt, don't go back to spending like you did before. save, invest, spend only what you have budgeted to spend.

there. financial peace, free of charge, and you didn't even have to leave the comfort of your desk.

am i missing something?

It sounds like you have a lot of money going out! I bet a large chunk of it is going to daycare (which you can't help) and eating out.

If you have a family of 4 (3 that eats),I bet you are spending at least $150 on eating out each week! That is $600 per month!!! Gads that's a lot of money! Also, let me ask, are your cell phones, internet and directv all bundled with the same company? Is there any way to reduce that bill by lowering minutes, and removing premium channels?

How about your car that needs expensive repairs? What can be done there?

About your credit card and medical bills... after you really take an honest look at your budget and see where you can cut spending (eating out, etc.), see if you will have enough money to catch up on your credit cards and medical bills. If not, call one of those credit counseling companies. NOT the ones that negotiate your debt down to half - that will mess with your credit really bad. I am talking about the ones that will call these creditors and tell them you are having some problems. They will probably get your interest knocked down and minimum payments cut down. You can also do this on your own if you have the stomach for it.

You asked why you are still broke. That is easy. You became used to a way of living - a certain lifestyle. Well, things started costing more (groceries, insurance, gas, eating out, etc.) and you did not adjust accordingly. You stuck with your old lifestyle that you don't want to give up. This is totally understandable, and it happened to us as well. But over time, you realize that the money you USED to have enough of, just isn't cutting it anymore. It's nothing you DID, it is what you DIDN'T do - account for the crappy inflation.

You are just going to have to cut back on spending like you are used to.
* eat out one time per week
* find fun activities to do at home (board games etc.)
* stop going to movies, expensive restaurants, shopping...
* do fun free or very inexpensive things (park, walk, city fall festivals...)
* Use CASH!

Also, take a cold, hard look at your budget:

Mortgage:
Car payment:
Car repair:
Groceries:
Electric:
Gas (for home):
Security system:
Insurance (cars):
Credit card 1:
Credit card 2:
More credit cards?:
Medical:
Gas for cars:
Eating out:
Coffees:
Daycare:
Diapers etc.:
Cell phones:
Internet:
DirecTV:
College:
Water/Trash pickup:
What else?:

I bet all of those things add up to at least $5,600 per month.

First and foremost, start changing your thinking. I recommend a book called, "The Attractor Factor" by Joe Vitale. It is a great book.

Good luck, and if there is anything I can do, let me know!
E.

I too recommend the Quicken Software - we use it and it is a great tool! My husband downloads our credit card and bank information right into it and then we print out reports that show where we are spending the money and how we can make a budget out of our current expenses! We discovered that a lot of our money was going towards eating out, it really does add up! We are bringing in the same as you (I'm currently a SAHM) and it feels the same way.. paycheck to paycheck! It's amazing how much everything costs/adds up to. One place we also looked into further was our car and home insurance, we just tweeked our car insurance and saved some, but our home insurance was really way more than necessary -nice to be covered so much, but the chance that you'll need it didn't warrent the coverage, so we lowered it and saved $700/yr! The Quicken allowed us to see right away where our money was going and be able to analyze it from there. Good luck!

I will give you a little sympathy for this reason...I always feel like if we could get caught up, we could get ahead. You have not always made as much as you do now, and often you have bills from when you made less. Here is one thing to think about. We don't have a lot of extra money at the end of the month, but we do not use credit cards except in emergencies--and when I say emergency, I am talking a death or hospitalization in the family. Even things like car repairs we pay for that month if we can...even if it means we have to really pinch for the rest of the month. We do have credit card debt, but we pay more than the minimum each month, and we always put our extra money toward whatever has the highest interest rate. Pay all of your bills right after your paycheck, then do a committed amount to savings, and then you know what you have to spend. I also understand the stress of working and having two kids, but try to cut back on the eating out as well. It does add up. Coffee 2x, while expensive, doesn't have the same impact as a whole family eating out. Also, I buy lean cuisines or something similar when they are on sale, and I usually bring those for lunch. They aren't super cheap, but definitely cheaper than eating out at lunch. Try making just one shopping trip a week--I spend less that way, and think of meals that you can prepare easily or quickly. One of our favorites if chicken breast on salad for the adults or chicken breast with some frozen veggies for dinner for adults or kids. When we eat out, we usually do it no more than once a week, and the kids are allowed to have McDonald's or other fast food one other time a week. It hasn't been easy, but the bills are going down and I am starting to see a larger amount left over in our account before each paycheck..oh yeah, with lower ac bills in winter--take the extra that you were paying to pay off bills.

Good Luck...I know it isn't easy.

try to find ways you can cut back. Go to a smaller cell phone plan. Try switching to generic stuff instead of name-brand. Buy Target brand diapers instead of Huggies (they really are very good!) Go to a lower TV package or get rid of direc-tv all together (if you work full time, you probably aren't even at home that much anyway!)

I think, maybe, the best thing to do is take your paycheck and immediately put a portion of it into savings FIRST. Then live off the rest. I believe we spend what we have, so just try to get used to having less and you will have no choice but to spend less.

And don't overwhelm yourself. Try one or at most two things each month. Baby steps. You can do it!

I'm not unsympathetic. I have a friend who earns more than you do, and she lives paycheck to paycheck as a single woman without kids. In her case, it's student loans, car note, mortgage and credit card bills that are killing her.

You can't go cold turkey and cut back the spending all at once, but you really do need to pay off some debt. Get the house paid off, get the credit cards paid off, get some of that debt and interest off your back ASAP. You never see the money that you send out to pay for the debt you're carrying around, and that is part of what causes the pinch. Since you are so busy with the kids and work, don't give up every single meal out, but give up the coffees. Give up one or two of the weekend meals out. Take the average of that money (just guess how much you save by giving up the meals and coffees) and either pay off a credit card early or put it towards the mortgage. I know it doesn't seem like much, but after a year of doing that, you'll have knocked down part of the debt, which means you'll have knocked down the interest accumulation as well.

If you really want to go hardcore, there are some great books and websites to help you save money and change your spending habits. For all the craziness you're dealing with (two little children must keep you so very busy), small steps may help. It'll take longer with the small steps, but you will get there, I promise.

Good luck to you!

HI R., Have you tracked your expenses using a monthly budgeting tool? This will help you see exactly where your income is going and where you need to cut back. You can use tools like Quickbooks, Quicken, or even download a free Microsoft Excel Template for a budget. Let me know if you need any help. I am the bookkeeper and accounting manager for a few companies.

two words: dave ramsey. financial money makeover...sounds like you'd be able to breeze thru the first steps, but you will gain much knowledge about where your money is going, how to keep track of it and how to save. we make 3200 a month and we are paycheck to paycheck! because of dave, we are out of debt and trying to put a little into savings every month so that when an emergency arises, we don't have to use money from our basic budget. i also have many friends on a money envelope system. we have not done that yet, but we need too. when you swipe the card for every purchase there is not much feeling, but when you have to look at your envelope w/ the cash, it's much harder to spend, so you'll think twice. you are VERY fortunate to be making such good money when your husband is in school. learn how to spend now so that when he has a full time job adding much more to your household, you won't wonder where it's all going. God bless!!

S.

That's 1932.08 a week! Wow oKay I understand! Me and my Husband together have a combined income of about 75,000.00 and still live paycheck to paycheck. We have decided to have our bank draft out 100.00 out of each check each week and move to a savings account, it is automatically moved as soon as our direct deposit hits and we have to survive off whats left, I would try cooking more, maybe on the weekends and learn to freeze cooked meals that you can thaw out during the week. We have also stopped eating out so much and of course I am having to cook more. But it all adds up, little by little. I even had to have a garage sale to raise extra money.Keep a journal of what you spend and after a week is over , look at it and see what you really could have done with out and try that the next week.Good Luck!

Hello! My husband and I also felt like we couldn't understand where our money was going so we did two things. 1) We tracked our spending for 3 months, recording how much we spent on different things like eating out, etc. and 2) We set up automatic withdrawals to a savings account to force us to save. Most people will end up somehow spending less if they have less in their savings account. So, you just start with small automatic withdrawals to savings (say $500 per month) then increase it a little bit every few months until you are saving what you want. My guess is you are spending way too much on eating out. Most people also spend too much on groceries. I wouldn't suggest completely changing your lifestyle ... you probably enjoy eating out and/or find it easier with you working ... but if you make an effort to reduce it some and are more careful at the grocery store, then you may find that you have extra money. Good luck!

I completely understand where you are coming from. I used to have a corporate job making 56,000 and my husband made about the same but we were still paycheck to paycheck. I had always wanted to stop working and be home with the kids but how could we do that if we were paycheck to paycheck w/ the current income. I put the numbers to paper and realized some interesting facts. I was spending 10,000+ a year on childcare, 6,000 on gas, then there were daily lunches and those 'coffees' a couple of times a week, dry cleaning, complete set of tires every 18 months and so on. After taxes, 401K and insurance deductions, I found I was bringing home under 20,000. I decided to quit when I realized I was paying to work. Oddly enough and a pleasant surprise, we had enough money - no more, no less. We still can't take a big vacation or buy on a whim but we couldn't do that when we made 'good' money. I had worked since I was 14 and I needed less stress. What I'm saying is, you may not feel you are spending much but it adds up here and there. Like another person said, look at your monthly expenses with a critical eye and you will see where it is all going.

Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University!

Those small expenses add up! For example:

Eating out 1x/week
$15-20/meal/wk x4wks/mo =$60-80 x12 months =$720-960/year

That amount of money could pay for a lot of your unexpected debt.

4meals/wk =$60-80 x4w/m =720-960 x12mos =$8,640 to $11,520/yr

If you cut down on that kind of thing you could put that money into your "emergency fund." Then you could start knocking out your small debts.

You are eating part of your wealth!

Our family has a lot of other ways we save money, too. You can hit reply and let me know if you want more info!

A.

PS I got to thinking about it. I do have sympathy for you! You're just trapped in the same trap most of the rest of us are in! Most people tend to spend up to (and past) what they make. After all, we all want to be in the best school district, have nice houses, nice cars, do the best thing for our kids, etc. That's why companies pay big bucks to advertise - to help us "know" what we "need[want]"

all the best to you! Hey - take advantage of Julie's offer - she sounds like a good person to get to know - and her offer is like gold bullion!