OCD Help..

Updated on July 16, 2010
R.A. asks from Surprise, AZ
13 answers

A little about me.. I am 28y SAHM married 11 yrs, We have 3 kids. I have OCD ... This is soooo embarrassing to me.. OK, since I was a baby my parents would sit me in sand and I would scream holding my hands and feet up, I didn't want to touch the sand. I am so scared of sand (because it makes your skin so dry), being barefoot outside, anyones feet touching me, dirt but not really germs and a huge fear of running over my 3yr son. All these things bring so much anxiety to me, like scratching your nails on a chalk board. My fear of running over my youngest (only him because he is so small and my other 2 kids I would see) is only when I am leaving the house as he is in the house with daddy I panic that he got out and I didn't see him. I can't drive away without who ever is with me walking around the whole truck just to make sure. It isn't just a fear I have I will start crying in my truck just thinking that he would come out wanting to go with me and I wouldn't see him. Now about the foot thing, just thinking about it makes my hands sweat. The question I have is how do I get my family to take me serious but hide it enough that my kids don't do the same. I don't want to pass this down to my kids.. My family thinks it is funny to see me scream and run when they try to touch me with their feet. I have never seen a Dr. for this because my Ins. doesn't pay for care like this.Any suggestions? Thanks

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So What Happened?

First thank you for all the suggestions.. I took something from every single post. It did bring me to tears to read these. I only wrote half of what I go through. Every night I wake my kids up several times just to make sure they are ok. There are so so many reasons this is wrong. Thank you everyone for the support and I am getting into my Dr. tomorrow. I am going to check out the sites and books ect. you guys suggested. I do want to get better because I do feel it getting more unbearable. Thanks again..♥

More Answers

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

See a Doc - you're doing great by asking for help. A professional can help you deal with it. It's a bio-chemical thing as well as psychological and they know a lot more about it than they used to. Good luck and congratulations for taking care of yourself :)

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Your insurance would cover the cost of going to your Primary Care physician, being assessed for Anxiety (because OCD is an anxiety disorder) and at least part of the cost of a prescription.

There's an A&E show on right now called Obsessed - all about people with OCD.

I, too, have it, but not to the degree that you do. Mine is more obsessive, but low grade compared to some. I'm currently not being treated for it, but that's because of other health issues.

It's REALLY common, too. Almost everyone I know is on an antidepressant. Many anxiety medications are also FDA approved for depression because of the hormones involved.

Do what you can to get it under control now so you don't lose the best years of your life to this.
Here's some information for you that might help - Good luck!
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/obsessive-compulsive-dis...

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

Check with your primary care physician, they can probably try to treat you for this, but my guess is, what you are talking about it therapy that is not covered. Since psychiatrists are medical doctors, you might try seeing one, I bet your insurance will cover this care. It is not a learned behavior, but could be something that is genetically predisposed as it does tend to run in families. Getting proper treatment for yourself is the best example you can set for the future behavior of your children should they inherit a simular issue from you.

M.

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M.S.

answers from Phoenix on

First of all, congratulations on getting the courage to ask for help.

What I'm about is not what you will want to hear, but something you NEED to. I too had/have severe OCD so know EXACTLY what you are going through.

The thinking that you need to find a way to hide it, but still live it is highly irrational. You will never be able to fully hide it. Asking your family to live with your compulsions is only going to make your OCD worse. I made my husband do all sorts of crazy things to ease my obsessions. Having others accommodate you will make relationships worse and make you think your compulsions are okay, which they are not. You need to find a way to cope with your obsessions so they do not result in the compulsions.

There are several ways you can begin to work through your OCD. First, it comes from within. When you start having obsessive, intrusive thoughts, you need to talk yourself down from them. I'm sure you know deep inside that they are highly irrational. You just need to make that voice stronger to lessen the effects of the obsessive thoughts that are plaguing you. There will always be therapists and medications, but if you are just trying to hide your compulsions, you aren't quite yet in the right mindset to get treatment.

It took me years upon years and finally exposure to my fear (throwing up) that has decreased my obsessive thoughts and compulsions. I put my marriage through hell because of all the accommodations I sought from my husband to make life "livable". I've tried hiding my compulsions so I didn't look "crazy.' None of it works. You have to get to a point where you realize that hiding in your illness is only hindering your growth. I know it's impossible to think you will ever overcome your phobia, but trust me it is possible. I had a phobia of throwing up for almost 20 years, and I just recently started recovering from it by actually throwing up. Exposure to your phobia in small doses can help you get over it.

Trust me, you can get through this!

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S.C.

answers from Phoenix on

What a basket case! ;-)

I'm kidding, of course. Well, you are a bit OCD, but nothing seems too terribly extreme. I'll tell you one thing most therapists will say (assuming you want to overcome these "phobias") and that is to start small and build your way up. Like Megyn said, find small ways to expose yourself to the things that set you off and once the anxiety fades, step it up a notch.

As far as running over your youngest....well, I don't want to contribute to your obsession but, sadly, that sort of tragedy happens all too often. So instead of allowing yourself to be paralyzed with fear about it, try and be proactive. I don't think there's really such a thing as being TOO safe as a parent, so perhaps doing some research into making your home and liifestyle safer for the kids would give you some piece of mind. I make it a habit to always back into my driveway/garage when parking so that I'll be pulling forward when I leave. Accidents like that almost always occur when backing up, so by moving FORWARD out of my driveway, my visibility is much higher.

G..

answers from Sherman on

i have OCD also and my consist of making sure that everything is over clean and all lables are facing forward and i have to get back up and re check doors at night after my husbnad has already done it and the closet doors can be open and that i have to be the first in bed then my hubby has to come behind me and turn lights off and close doors etc.. i was told by my DR that some birth control can cause u to have problems which can lead to OCD i hope this helps and good luck ..my family just learn to adjust to me ..but i did change Birth control and its seems to be better than it was..message me if u want to talk..

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Call NAMI (don't have the number off hand). Sorry to make you look it up. They will help you find places that can help.My ex husband had OCD. It is not learned behavior, you are not crazy, and you do these things to relieve the anxiety. There was not as much help then as there is now. Begin also by reading books about this condition. That helps. The Boy who Couldn't stop Washing is the name of one. Wish I had all of this like the authors, etc. but don't. There are a lot of them now. You are not alone and your family is not necessarily going to follow in these foot steps. It is manageable. That sounds so familiar but my ex husband would not say why he would keep checking things, or looking to see if he ran someone over or go to a restaurant (germs). It was very lonely for me. You can get the help and keep your family intact. I urge you to do so. I will continue to look for more information. Good luck!

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C.R.

answers from Las Cruces on

To work through this kind of anxiety, therapy would be really, really helpful. I know a few people with OCD and don't know anyone with OCD who has improved without therapy - most needed therapy and on-going medication. Most cities have mental health clinics that operate on sliding scales, since your insurance does not cover mental health care.

You deserve to live a life where you are not frozen by anxiety and fear. This isn't funny. Your fear and anxiety is very real and you deserve to be free of it. I hope you are able to find a good therapist that can help you and help your family learn how to be supportive (not enabling) instead of laughing at you. Blessings to you and your family.

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C.G.

answers from Phoenix on

actually I have OCD as well and you can be treated at your primary care physician. It is real and can be debilitating. Don't go untreated! God Bless you!

Y.C.

answers from New York on

Dear RA:
I am really sorry to hear all you go through everyday. I take you serious, I believe you.
I wish I could help you with some advice, I really don't know but I will be asking about free places in Yahoo, hopefully somebody knows something about it.
I understand about your need to be taking serious. You need your husband support. He needs to understand how painful it is living with those fears.
I think you should explain your kids too, without adding to much detail.
Explain them what are you afraid, and that EVERYBODY is afraid of something. Don't try to be super heroe, and fake that you don't care. Teaching them that they should not make fun of a fear (your fear or anybody's fear) is a very good think.
I think we all have some kind and different levels of OCD, just that some are more "commun" then others and people is use to them.
I have to go, my baby is crying, but I send you my best ishes and I will look in to it later.
{{{WARM HUGS TO YOU}}}
EDIT:
I ask in Yahoo and they show me this link:
http://www.aetv.com/obsessed/participate/
http://www.columbia-ocd.org/parti_study.html
Also recomended this book:
Brain Lock' by Jeffrey Schwarz

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W.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I read an article just recently talking about tackling childhood phobias (ie, fear of spiders) and they would take the child's main learning mode (ie, visual, auditory or hands-on) and then start with exaggerated non-realistic pictures (for the visual), stories & songs (for the auditory) and actions, finger plays, etc for the hands-on learner. Take stories or pictures that are caricatures or cartoony drawings, not realistic photos (so a cutesy drawing of feet or outlines of footprints, for example). Tell silly stories about them (ie, miss spider is going to a tea party... what does she serve, who does she invite, etc. ) each week progress to a slightly more "real" version (pictures, stories, etc) and talk about what miss spider is wearing. She's got fuzzy pink slippers and a red bandana for example. Or you could imagine yellow smiley faces or silly polka dots or what have ye on feet. Keep progressing until you can imagine funny faces on your family's toes. (or ask that they all wear socks. We love wearing our socks in our house) Anyway, you can progress to playing a feet-pick up game where everyone picks up as many things as they can with their feet. Play that "game" for a while. Maybe even get to the point where you guys play tickle each other with your toes only. (or maybe not. Teach them that toes are for things on the floor, not people.)

As for kids, talk with your husband and ask him to be reassuring and careful to not let your youngest out of the house, and TRUST HIM to do it.

Hope that helps some??

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S.H.

answers from Hartford on

In addition to some of the advice you have already been given, I just wanted to point out that OCD is an anxiety disorder (you may notice it worsens when you are under stress). Targeting the anxiety in your life and seeking to reduce it will help. Insecurity was the source of anxiety for me for many many years (resulting in OCD). Building up my confidence and facing my fears has alleviated the symptoms.

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A.

answers from Albuquerque on

If this is truly something you want to change, you'll need to invest some energy and money into doing so. I would suggest hypnosis/hypnotherapy. But if another type of therapy would work best for you, go for it. But insurance probably won't pay for it so you'll have to prioritize and figure out if this really is something you can live with or something you want to change.

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