Nursing Strike - Lake Forest,IL

Updated on June 07, 2008
L.G. asks from Lake Forest, IL
18 answers

My 10-month-old son has gone on a nursing strike and refuses to breastfeed. When I try to nurse him he bites immediately, not even considering latching on. For the past several weeks, he has been cutting four upper teeth -- two have poked through, and two more are on their way. I spoken at length with the pediatrician as well as a lactation consultant, but so far none of their advice is working. I've tried yelping and saying a gentle but firm no. I've tried saying nothing and placing him directly in his crib. I've tried waiting until he is good and hungry, and I've tried waiting until he is drifting off to sleep -- usually his best nursing time. Up until this point he has breastfed exclusively and unfortunately doesn't take a bottle. We've been practicing with a sippy cup, but he still hasn't gotten the hang of it. I've resorted to pumping and syringe-feeding him as well as spoon feeding him the milk with some cereal mixed into it, however my milk supply is already beginning to diminish. I have two older children who I nursed 13 months each and this never happened with either of them. Has anyone else been through this, and if so, do you have any advice? Thank you in advance!

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K.L.

answers from Chicago on

I'm getting bitten myself a lot lately--no teeth in sight! I feel for you. This doesn't mean you have to wean. I would drink lots of water and continue to pump to keep up the supply. Keep putting him to the breast, when he goes to bite, have a finger ready to put between his gums to keep him from clamping down. Another thing I have found is that if I fight the urge to pull away and instead pull her into me, it stops her biting down, probably bc she needs to catch her breath as I have pushed her face into my chest! I read in The Breast Feeding Book by Martha and William Sears that it's natural for many babies to suddenly seem to go on strike and that this doesn not mean that you need to wean them or let them wean themselves when they do. I agree that when he's hungry, he'll eat. It seems like these things happen with breast feeding now and then and that when it seems like you just can't take it anymore and start to forget why you are breastfeeding, that's when it starts to fix itself and get better. Hang in there and continue to seek advice! Blessings

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

Please check out www.kellymom.com they should be able to walk you through this. Also check out Fenugreek to increase your milk supply. I took some because some cold medicine decreased my supply, and it seemed to help. If you need some, I have over half a container left (I'd give you some free), but you can get it at health food stores, and it doedn't cost to much.

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C.G.

answers from Decatur on

You are prob. right that it is a strike, most babies do not wean themselves this early unless they have something to wean to. Teething can cause nursing strikes, so you could try teething remedies right before trying to nurse him. Make sure he is not taking to many solids, juice, or water, since BM is very important until at least 1, and these could be filling him up. If he takes a paci, you might try limiting it or putting it away for awhile and trying to nurse him when he wants the paci. I have also heard that skin to skin contact can help, i.e. trying to nurse him while the 2 of you take a bath together. Has your diet changed or are you taking any new meds? sometimes this can change the taste/smell of your BM, making baby refuse to eat. Try nursing in a quiet, dark room with as few distractions as possible, since at this age kids are very easily distracted from nursing.
here are some good websites to try: www.kellymom.com
www.llli.org
I hope this helps, keep trying!

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

Very sadly, my daughter DID wean herself this early. She would constantly bite me during an early morning feeding. I'm sorry I'm not telling you what you want to hear. However, I had no choice but to move to the next phase of her life and that was to find other methods of feeding her. It was hard at first, but realized that this was her personality. Yet....I had a son that wouldn't give up nursing and I had to end it at 18 months. Good luck!

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R.C.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter self weaned at 10 months also. She didn't bite, she just sort of looked at me like "what am I supposed to do with THAT?" LOL Would not latch on for anything. It was just cold turkey.
Now my boys, one nursed for 2 years +, the other for 3 yrs + (until I finally made him stop.) :)
If you really want him to try to continue nursing, make sure he's hungry first by limiting his solids intake beforehand. (Anything else via sippy cup or bottle too.)
Now find a nice, quiet, darkened area, like a bedroom, where you can lay side by side.
Skin to skin contact works well too. Try not to be tense, as he'll pick up on that easily. (And I know, it's hard to avoid when you're waiting for that bite!)
The 3 strikes you're out rule is a good one to follow here.
If it's just teething, he should be willing to start again very soon, but if he's truly "done", then just be ready to move onto the next step.
Keep pumping & offering him BM in cereal, bottles, sippy cups, etc for the next 2 months.
Fenugreek does help to increase supply. (I had to use it for one of the boys.)

Good luck!

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R.A.

answers from Chicago on

keep working on it! the sleepy time has worked the best for me - or in the middle of the night laying down.
supply can be helped by eating oatmeal, taking fenugreek capsules (a LOT of them every day), or by drinking Mother's Milk tea. once he begins to nurse again, your supply will come back up.
you can also try to get him to take the milk from a regular cup, which might be easier than the sippy cup for him to understand. why mix in the cereal? if you're concerned about calories, things like avocadoes or extra virgin coconut oil are better.
it is so frustrating! keep trying!

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

I haven't experienced a nursing strike, but I do have a suggestion for the sippy cup. Take out the rubber thing so he doesn't have to suck on it. The milk will dribble in and he'll figure it out more quickly. You could also get the plastic cups with snap-on lids that have a spout, that's what we started with (I got a 4-pack at Target, even included a couple of straight lids without a spout for storage).

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J.R.

answers from Chicago on

Ten month olds don't self wean! They NEED breast milk (or formula). (FYI -- natural weaning age is between 18 and 36 months on average) This is just a nursing strike. Sounds like he is just uncomfortable nursing right now because his teeth/gums are hurting. You are doing great; keep giving him milk thru a syringe or sippy or anything you can, but keep offering the breast too. If you can, get your finger in his mouth before he bites down. If not, one trick my LLL leader has is when baby bites, pull him in really close to you. I know, this is counter intuitive when he's biting! But smoosh his little nose up against your breast and he'll have to let go to breathe. Hang in there, it is just a phase. Don't give up; think of all the money you'll save by not buying the next two months of formula :)

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R.R.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, L.. My son breastfed until halfway through his 15th month. My daughter? Bit the CRAP outta me at 10 months, just like your son. She would nurse for maybe 2 minutes before she decided it was crunch time-- literally. Since you're not a first-time mother, I'll tell you what my pediatrician told me-- when he's hungry, he'll eat. If he keeps biting you, it could be that he's weaning himself. It's actually pretty common. Keep trying with the bottle, and don't take it personally. I felt like a failure when my daughter didn't want to nurse anymore, especially since my son had nursed for so long. But it's not personal. I would continue to pump and find other ways to get him the milk. Like mixed in with boiled, mashed potatoes, cereal, squash, you know the drill. He'll keep getting the antibodies and nutrients from you, and eventually he'll get the hang of the bottle or sippy cup.

Keep trying, and good luck!

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K.

answers from Chicago on

How frustrating! This is almost certainly temporary, though it's not fun. I would definitely keep pumping to keep your supply up because he will go back to it soon enough. As for the biting etc, I would first wait until he asks to be nursed, rather than offering it to him. (He is at an age where he may be cutting back some as he increases his solids intake, which is fine). If he asks, he needs to learn that biting is not tolerated. I use a "3 strikes and you're out" policy. If he bites pull him off and say very firmly NO BITING. Then wait a second and offer it to him again (yes, this is the really tough part I know - because you just KNOW he's going to do it again). If he bites again, repeat. If he bites a third time end the session. In my experience babies learn VERY quickly that if they want milk they need to behave. I remember being in tears for about 2 days with my son when we went through this (also cutting teeth) and then he figured it out and he never bit me again.

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A.C.

answers from Chicago on

Have you tried letting your son suck or chew on something cold, like a teether or cold washcloth, right before nursing? Maybe try Orajel? This happened briefly with us but did pass...I think that b/c he's experiencing many teeth at once, the sore gums for him are taking longer to improve. Best wishes!

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N.N.

answers from Chicago on

I had the exact same problem with my (now 13-mo. son) Henry when he was about 10 months and teething. I truly thought I was going to have to wean him to protect myself. I tried yelping "NO," calmly saying "no," saying nothing and putting him down, and pulling him in close until he let go (that I tried only once--ouch!). I tried waiting until he was truly hungry, sneaking in feedings when he was sleepy/sleeping, and nursing him while I walked around.

Nothing worked for us. He'd suck a few times, then bite, cry, and refuse to continue. I started pumping and paying close attention to his body language and noticed that he looked tense when I picked him up to nurse, like he knew he was preparing for the whole session to be traumatic.

So, here's what I did: I started to sing. I began to realize how stressful this was for him and for me and how hard it is to stay stressed out while singing. I sing nursery rhymes, Ralph's World songs, Christmas carols, and even some old Simon and Garfunkel tunes. He doesn't care what I sing as long as *I* do it (btw--I hate my singing voice). I tried playing the same music on CD, and that didn't work. My husband has also found that singing helps him get to sleep when I'm not home to put him down.

Each child is so different with nursing. My first (William is 8-1/2 years old) nursed fabulously and self-weaned at a year old. Henry, my second, doesn't show any signs of weaning at all. One other thing I should tell you is that we just (within the past month) discovered that Henry is "tongue-tied," and he's going to have his frenulum clipped at his next checkup. That explains why I still feel his teeth sometimes during feedings since he has a hard time covering them with his tongue. You can have your pediatrician or lactation counselor/consultant check for this if he/she hasn't already.

Best of luck to you--and I hope this helps.

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S.M.

answers from Chicago on

L.,

You say he seems to be teething - are you giving him Orajel or tylenol? It could just be he is a "bad teether" like my daughter was. I would give her Orajel before she nursed and also hyland's teething tablets during the day and tylenol at night when it was really bad.

S.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.,

Unfortunately, I know EXACTLY what you are going through. None of the strategies that my lactation consultant and pediatrician provided worked... and at 10 months, I had to stop. I pumped until my supply ran out and then transitioned her to whole milk when she turned a year. I would keep trying to get him to use a sippy cup - or keep trying with a bottle. Maybe have someone other than you try to bottlefeed him - Siena at first wouldn't take a bottle from me, but eventually she did. Just like w/ solid foods, it just takes a lot of trying. I know you're a SAHM so it might be tough to have someone else do it... but just keep trying. Just as w/ picky eaters, children at this age regulate themselves and his instincts will have to kick in so that he gets the nutrition he needs. Best of luck!

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds like he's weaning himself. I would just go with it. My son self-weaned around 8.5-9 months, and while I had intended to nurse for a year, I didn't have to go through the whole weaning process that some of my friends have gone through... So in many ways it was just fine. I was disappointed at first, but he lost all interest in nursing... and since my milk supply declined gradually as he lost interest, I didn't have to worry about that issue either. I just stopped pumping and my milk supply went away without any worries....

I'm not sure how you'll tackle the sippy cup issue, but skip the bottle! at 12 months, he shouldn't be using a bottle anymore anyway. no sense getting him used to one now. try lots of kinds of sippy cups until you find one he likes. some kids are very particular and prefer one kind over all others. try ones with a straw too... he may find those easier. or just try a real cup.

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H.S.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter didn't go through this, but she did go through a lot of pain with teething. She did great with Hyland's Teething Tablets. They are homeopathic and desolve immediately in their mouths. You can see the effect within minutes of them taking it. You could try that and then try nursing at one of his drifting off times. You could also try a teething ring right before so the gums get cold.

I hope this gets better.
H.

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D.W.

answers from Chicago on

I'm sure it's just a strike. Babies do not self wean at 10 mo. Be patient. Waiting until he's sleepy is a great idea. Go into your bedroom, make it dark, get into bed, remove his clothes and your shirt(skin to skin is best) and try to nurse. If he bites pull him closer in and he'll release. He could be on strike because you yelled when he bit. Just relax your tension is felt by him. Good Luck.

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K.E.

answers from Chicago on

Have you checked out www.kellymom.com ? It's been the best source of info on breastfeeding problems. Have you tried different positions? Have you tried to express a little before you try to latch him on? Are you sure he doesn't have thrush (though, it sounds like it could be the teething). I'm not exactly in favor of it, but have you tried baby tylenol? Good luck! You can definitely bring your supply up once this passes. Keep drinking mother's nursing tea - a lot. HTH's

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