Not Sure Why I Am So Mad but I Dont Think This Is Fair Completely

Well 6th grade IS about the time when it stops being about sportsmanship, and 'everybody gets to play' primarily, and that 'winning' aspect comes into play.

So It HAS been my personal experience it can be a difficult transition for families (especially with the oldest child) to get used to that winning aspect.

And yes, he IS basically saying you aren't good enough so I'm replacing you with someone better, sigh, sorry.

But then that's why TRY-OUTS begin at this age as well, and learning to cope with disappointment can be tricky when it's always been just sign up and play.

Playing in different districts he's taking ONE team that represents his ENTIRE organization. It will be much more competitive, and it WILL be about winning.

I'd like to say it gets better, but high school athletics are COMPLETELY about winning.

:(

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At 12, I think she (and the other girls) are old enough to learn this life lesson - you will be replaced by others who are better than you at some things.

This does not make you a loser.

It does not make you less of a person.

It makes you ready for "real life".

I will not get promoted at my job if the other person in the running is better than me.

I will not win every game if the other team is better than us.

Suck? Yes. Fair? No. Real life? You betcha.

It sounds as if she is handling it beautifully. You obviously taught her wonderful life skills! Keep doing what you are doing, and stop stressing.

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Your daughter has the right attitude.

Blessings.....

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I would understand being irritated if they were younger, but they're 12, not 5 years old. At this point it's competitive, and the focus is definitely more on winning & being the best than playing everyone for equal time to spare their feelings. If that's what you want, then I really think recreational sports are more up your alley.

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The team that earned the place a district should be the team that plays at district. How horrible to tell girls that played their best all year and helped earn that spot in district that they cannot play in the district game.

Ugh, tell the coach what you really think.
Also, go to the league's commission and tell them that this practice is unfair and sends the wrong message to these girls.

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It's for districts, which is bigger than just your team. I don't have a problem w/ it.

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Gosh... I would be frustrated as well!

Your daughter is part of the TEAM....... isn't it THAT TEAM that worked hard to get to where they are?

Frankly, it seems that the coach is more concerned about a trophy, and to say he "coached the winning team" than the entire team as a whole.

That is almost like bringing in a "ringer" in an important game, and is essentially what he is doing, even though it seems to be allowed.

Now...... if it was some kind of "all stars" competition, where they took just the best two or three from the whole district, like they do in college level, I could see that... to a point.

But... if it is supposed to be "team" competition, I think it should be the original team, not a mix from several different teams under the original team name.

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I would talk to whoever is above the coach. I agree a team is a team. They either sink or swim together. I would be pi** if I were a mom on the opposing team to find out that the team my daughter's team played against brought in a 'ringer' or two.
Yes winning is important but fair play and a show of support for all team members is also important. These kids are learning about social dynamics while playing sports. If they get the message that just because someone is struggling they should be let go, where does that take them when they get into the working world or parenting world. If you are a manager of a company and have a new employee who is trying hard but struggling do you replace them or work with them? As a parent if your child is struggling in school do you tell them it's okay not everyone can learn to read or do you work with them to learn. This coach is saying he would rather replace a player than work with them to be a better player. To me that is a bad example to set for kids.
Winning is not just the numbers on the scoreboard but the feeling in your heart that you have done your best.

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This happens on high school teams, but it sounds like you're on travel so I'm not sure how that works. We didn't have district playoffs in travel here. On the high school team, when they played in districts, regionals, state.... they pulled up better players from the JV team to fill in on Varsity. It might not seem fair, but there isn't too much you can do about it, especially if your daughter isn't that bothered by it. You should try to adopt her attitude. Or form your own travel team and make your own rules I guess.

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I think this is wrong, and teaches the girls the wrong message - namely that it's every girl for herself. This doesn't encourage working as a team AT ALL! For me, the only point of girls' sports (because, let's face it, our girls will not make multi-millions as athletes, no matter how good they are at their chosen sport), is to better prepare them for teamwork that's required later in life. I'm required to work as part of a high-functioning team every day at work, and I do attribute my ability to do this to learning how to win, and lose, gracefully in team sports as a child. When you take away the "team" aspect of team sports, then you're rewarding a win-at-any-cost mentality, which is the direct opposite of what kids SHOULD be learning.

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What's the point in having a team if when the districts come around, the team just changes? I'm surprised the league allows this. And yes, they're not 5 but they're also not 16 or 17. 12 is still pretty young. I'm not in favor of giving people trophies just for showing up etc but IMO, a team is a team and you don't cherry pick from other teams unless it's an all star game.

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He is totally wrong on this!! If they won the opportunity to play in districts, they should all get to go. I would be tempted to get together as a team and tell him, take all of us or none of us. Have you talked to the other parents? What a terrible message he is giving the girls, the ones who will play AND the ones who won't!

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I think the team that played together to get there should get to play. I think its totally unfair to the team to take players outside the team. Just my opinion. I would be livid as a parent if that happened (to my child or anyone else's).

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there is no crying in baseball! truly if you are consirned and would like to ask the coach to consider allowing this team to go together as a team then let him know. but be nice about it. after all its baseball. if your comparing it to life then even in a work force position the boss would pull the best players to represent the place. i am all for giving number one trophies and allowing those that earn it have it. not just giving it to the slackers. gives ppl something to step up to and goals.

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Wow so he can pick and choose the girls that will benefit his winning potential? That doesn't sound fair to me. I would feel awful for the girls that didn't get to play regardless if its my kid or not. I don't have a solution or how you would handle it but im with you and that doesn't seem right to me.

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Is this a club team? If so, it's pretty normal to take girls that the coach sees as better, or a better fit in certain positions. This will continue on until high-school, and if she chooses (or is good enough) to go beyond that. It's the world of sports. Is it fair? Probably not, but it's how it is. Competitive sports are really tough not only physically, but mentally. It's tough on the parents, too. It's a good lesson to learn now, because it only gets worse as she gets older.

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We have an all star and a metro team--both are the very best players in our league...is this what yours is like?

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I agree with you that it's not fair. I would be upset too. If the team earned the advancement to the district competition, then the original team should be the ones competing. When I was in high school, they had an All-Stars team that played during the summer which included kids from many area teams and participation was by invite only. It was exciting and a big honor for a kid to be chosen for this team. But, that was separate from the championship rounds for the individual teams. It would be one thing if kids and parents were informed at the beginning of the season that depending on how the team performs during the season, some of the children will be chosen to compete further in the district competition. It sounds like you just found out that some of the children may not get to play, which is a little mean in my opinion. I would calmly let the coach know that you are upset with the way this was handled and make suggestions for how you would like to see it done differently. Don't expect that changes will be made immediately or at all, but voice your opinion. You most likely aren't the only one who feels this way. Good luck!

Hate it when coaches do that. That's not the team. That's a new team then & whynot tell the girls you are putting together a new team for this specific event & everyone must try out (which may not even be allowed). I have seen this several times and in many sports. I'm good with taking a couple spares that aren't usually on the team in case of injuries or other last minute emergencies, but not as replacements.

seems like a crappy way to build comraderie and cohesiveness.

At this point it is very competitive and if it is something like "travel ball" the coaches can pick. At this age not all things are equal, it is based on ability and even families factor into it (are the parents a pain? Do they help out? Do they always support their girl with a positive attitude?). I'm very surprised that she has been on the same team and has a designated position. My daughter has played since she was seven (she just graduated high school) at at 12 she was pitching, playing third and outfield. As someone pointed out, they will not going to be multi million dollar professional athletes but this is a way to get to college. A ton of my daughter's team mates and friends over the years will be going all over the country for college on scholarships this fall.

That should not be allowed in under professional or college level sports. You are right, it IS teaching the children a very unsavory lesson - one I would not want my daughter learning from the creepy coach.

I don't think that's fair,right or moral but more and more it's the way in todays world. It doesn't matter who you screw over, only that you win. Have to teach kids this early. Wouldn't want some antiquated concept such as being a team and good sportmanship brainwash them...... Seriously, you may want to check with someone up above to see if this is against the rulse. It may also end up not being the best thing to do for the "team" The team made district together and there may "seemingly" be a better player or two out there but they may not do well with this particular team.

If I were you I'd be upset to. I agree this really doesn't seem fair and sends a mixed message to the girls on the team. I would complain to the board about this practice. Also if other parents feel the same I would tell them to send a complaint to the board. If enough parents complain, they may change their policy.