16 answers

Not Sure What to Do - Hazel Green, AL

I have a 7 year old son that has ADHD. He was diagnosed 2 years ago and his doctor put him on Concerta. Well recently his insurance decided they would no longer cover it and switched him to a different kind. I made them take him off of that because he became very violent and was more hyper and unattentive than ever. They just started him on Focalin which is ok but just doesn't seem to be working like the Concerta. I'm not sure if it is the change in his medicine that has him acting this way or if there is something else going on. He is a very sweet and smart little boy. But lately he has been giving me more problems than usual and i am just at a lost as to what to do. When they took him off the Concerta his grades started to drop a little and just seems to lose his temper quite frequently. One minute he will be in a great mood and the next he hates everything. I seem to hear "I hate you!" alot lately.He really gives his 2 little brothers a hard time. Just does everything in his power to aggrivate them. I try to give him as much attention as possible but it's hard to divide my attention equally between the 3 of them. His dad thinks that I should let my son come live with him for a little while because he thinks maybe he needs the one on one attention right now that i just can't give him. I feel like i am failing this child as a parent.Somebody please give me some advice. I have tried everything from spankings to taking stuff away. Nothing seems to work. I want to help him, I just don't know how. Please help

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I have a 4yr and was going threw some "temper" problems with her not listening and giveing me a harder time then normal. Her pedatricition recommmend her to a consular to talk to, and that seems to be helping some. You might give that a thought. If you have his dad come stay that might give him the wrong idea too.

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Hi W., I'm S., my daughter who is 8 was diagnosed with ADD, the inattentive type about a year ago. We've tried several different medications but we've found that Adderrall XR works the best. I'm reading a book currently on how to make her life better. She gets through school fine but after the meds wear off its like she's in the twilight zone. I feel awful having to keep her medicated all the time. I'd love to chat with another parent who is going through this similar situation. There is also a ADD/ADHD parent support group in the local area, let me know if you are interested. Hope to talk to you soon.

My daughter is 4 and a doctor said she could have mild autism or ADHD, since she was so young they really couldn't tell me. She was overly hyper and wouldn't sit down for a second it was so hard to take her anywhere. She also didn't know everything she should have. Anyway, the doctor put her on all kinds of medications and they all made her upset. She would have terrible mood swings and she would get upset and cry and yell and at one point didn't want to take her shoes off. I took her off the medicine and put her in preschool and she is more than fine now. But in your case since he's already in school, all I can say is you might have to metion to the doctor to lower is dosage and if it's as low as it will go he might need to prescribe a different medication. One medication might work for awhile but then the childs body gets used to it so the dosage might need to be uped or lowered or he may need a different kind. I only know this because of my pharmacy I go to a great one.

I have a 4yr and was going threw some "temper" problems with her not listening and giveing me a harder time then normal. Her pedatricition recommmend her to a consular to talk to, and that seems to be helping some. You might give that a thought. If you have his dad come stay that might give him the wrong idea too.

In my opinion, giving him negative attention is not working. So try going in the opposite direction and reward good behavior and if you can, ignore the negative behavior. I grew up with ADHD. My parents were also divorced, so that may have an impact on him. He might feel a lot more of the effects of divorce that you may not understand.
Also, one on one time is hard, but making him feel special in other ways may be a way that you might want to approach him.
Also, when he comes home from school or whatever, try to light up your smile and greet him nicely. He may be stuck in a routine of frowns so he just expects it all the time. I hope it works out for you. Take care, and make sure that you don't give up!

I am a parent of two ADHD children and an ADHD husband. Yes, that is what I said, I live with three of them. They have all been on medication, but my husband refuses to take his. My daughter was diagnosed when she was in third grade and my son was in first grade. My husband finally listened to me and went to the psychiatrists and got diagnosed two years ago and they put him on medication (Focalin LA). It helped him a lot, but he don't want to take it, so he doesn't and we just have to deal with him. As for my children. I put them both on medication during thier school years. Both were put on Ritalin and it worked well. I think it is the best medication. However, each child is different and you have to determine what works best for your child. My children, over the years have been put on all of the medications because as they got older, and we moved arouind and switched doctors; they would want to switch and try the new drugs. I can honestly say that Ritalin was the best one for both my children. However, they now have my 17 y/o son on Aderall SR and it works ok. Neither of my children did good on Concerta. It made my daughter very moody and cry all the time. The last one my 18 y/o daughter was on was the Focalin LA and she is actually going back to the doctor this week to get them to put her back on it. I have done a lot of the changing foods, parenting methods, and all, but my children still needed the medication. They are both very bright students and did well in school. ADHD children need STRICT parents (which I wasn't) and you must stay on top of things and remind them constantly in a way that they don't know you are reminding them.

Dear W.,

some medications work better than others. Sorry about the whole insurance stuff-it is terrible what these big companies can do.
My suggestions is go natural- get all smelly cleaning products, perfumes, candles etc., etc. out of the the house. The air we breath- especially your children who breath faster than we do- are inhaling a tremendous amount of toxins. There is lots of evidence now that shows our indoor air pollutions are more toxic than outdoor. It is not necessarily one product- but the accumulation of many together that are affecting brain and nervous system development- even in utero. There are many healthier alternatives including some awesome vitamins that work at the cell level. www.totalfamilywellness.com has some good information. You can also try making your own soaps with liquid castile soap. but get the smelly stuff out of your house, out of your air and off your childrens clothes and skin.
L. M

Hi W.,

First let me say that I feel your frustration. My seven year old boy has also been diagnosed with ADHD. Everyday is a challenge but also an opportunity to learn something about my boy. It is very hard to divide your time evenly when one is so demanding. I also have a fourteen year old who has been every parent's dream child and I know that he does not get as much from me as he should because he doesn't demand it. Anyway, definitely reevaluate his meds because as they grow the the doses must be adjusted. However, I have discovered that when my son starts acting more emotional and becomes more of a challenge, there is usually some sort of frustration going on in his life that I was not aware of, and a lot of times it is at school. It may be an issue with a subject, a teacher, another student or just boredom. He doesn't always have the ability to pin point the problem well enough to tell me about it, so I find that a conference with the teacher is helpful. My little guy has sensory issues and some OCD as well. I found out last year that his school supplies kept in his desk were causing him great distress because of the need to have them in a certain order at all times. He just could not focus unless he knew they were stored in what he felt was the proper manner. His teacher mentioned to me that he was "playing" with his school supplies all the time instead of focusing on his work. Because I knew of his tendencies, we decided to move his school supplies to his teachers desk and she kept them there for him to access. It worked like a charm basically out of sight out of mind. Kids like ours are so much extra effort but the hugs they give are so worth it aren't they? Mine can be so sullen sometimes, but I live for the smile and the hugs. Good luck and let me know if I can help.

I have an overly hyper 10 year old, he was diagnosed with ADHD at 7, I refused meds and instead took away all sugar and caffein, you even have to watch the juice! I also put him on a strict schedule for eating and bedtime. He is 10 now and is doing alot better and is used to sugar free and diet caffein free drinks.

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