"Not Interested" in Learning

Hi C.,

You may be in the beginning phase of a discipline or behavioral issues.

www.kidspriorityone.org

www.chkd.org Parent Support Group/Children's Hospital of The Kings's Daughters

Hope this helps. Good luck. D.

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Dear C.,
I speak as a mom of four, a previous preschool teacher and previous public school tutor.
What I hear you saying is that your son is both imaginative and fun loving! Those are great qualities! My suggestion would be to meet him where he's at! In other words, make learning fit in with his personality! Get down on the floor and play-act with him while you weave in some learning!
Here's an example of what I mean: while he's racing his trucks, act out going to the pump to fill up with gas and counting the gallons pumped...one, two three, etc. He doesn't need to have formal learning or rote reiteration at that age, just exposure. Also, don't concern yourself with his response. Just make it a part of his fun and he will later surprise you with how much this exposure paid off.
Blessings!
J. F.

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I would say that is very normal 4 year old behavior. Be subtle with your "teaching" - read the names of stores that he likes, ask him to find the name of a character in a book, have him count with you when you are cooking (reading a recipe), etc. - crafts are actually great teaching tools. If he feels pressured, he will just be more resistent.

It doen't mean he isn't learning, he is just doing it his own way. And it doesn't mane he won't do well in school, kids do differently for their teachers and peers than their parents. You are NOT his teacher- just be his mom and encourage him to learn where he can, but he doesn't need "education" in any formal sense from you.

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Hi C.,

Here's my first suggestion, although I don't agree with kids NEEDING preschool...

Playful Learning
14301 Laurel Bowie Rd [rt. 197: cross rd is Cherry Lane]
Laurel, MD 20708
###-###-####

However, as I said, I don't agree with what our kids are being pushed into these days. My mother in law was a preschool teacher for twenty years, she retired about three years ago, and says the curriculums are not age appropriate. Kids are expected to know letter numbers, colors and such before they even get to kindergarten. That used to be what kindergarten was for. I'll get off the soap box now, it just burns me up.

Also, one of the problems may be that you're mom! My daughter is reluctant to learn from me, and I've heard that's pretty usual. But she had no problem learning from other people.

That's why I suggested the school, if you can. The pre-K program is $170 per month. I don't know if they still have spaces, but it doesn't hurt to ask. It was recommended to me by a good friend who's daughter loved it. She had been in another preschool that didn't actually teach anything, so she was delighted with PL and feels her daughter is well prepared for kindergarten this Fall.

And if you can't, I read some other great suggestions here...

-S.

P.S. I was just reading some suggestions from the bottom, and saw that someone else takes advantage of pbskids.org and such. My daughter loves that stuff. In fact, she's bugging me to get off the computer now! Another really good show, I think, is called Super Why, on PBS. It's a reading show. Around here it's on, I think, at 8:30 on channel 22.

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Hi C.,
Looks like you got some good words of wisdom already. I may just be reiterating what has already been said but, felt compelled to chime in. I have a newly turned 4 year old daughter and I've tried to get her excited about writing her letters and recognizing them. My daughter is in pre-school and I just felt like she was behind. She would totally buck my efforts at the formal sit down teaching style thing too.
I asked her teachers what she is 'supposed' to be doing now and they told me very little. And that it was totally normal to have a child this age not like the formal teaching-learning style. I decided to totally stop trying that approach, I didn't want her to hate it later when she starts school.
It turns out that the PEER situation can be very influential with learning at this age. With my daughter (who's a bit of a show off) she likes the collaborative group learning. Even if she's not the one answering the questions, she 'gets it'.
I know you've tried to make games and that it wears off after a little while. You might try the letter a day game. Make 26 3X5 cards and put one letter on each. Each morning have him pick a card and that's the letter of the day then work with him to come up with one word that begins with that letter. Periodically throughout the day play 'I spy' for the letter of the day. Have him look for it in the books that he looks at, in the street signs. Don't push too hard, you may think he's not looking but he really may be, if you bring it up too much, he'll stop. It's a fine balance to achive but, it's an all day game so there's a natural end point. It he spys 3 words, celebrate it by going to the dollar store and buying an item that starts with that letter, have him help you look for an item too.
My daughter is very competitive and she really gets in to the I spy game--in the car the park everywhere. It's a good one on one activity.
I really do promote at least the part time pre-school environment--they're the pros. I have my girls at the Young School and they do follow the state guidelines for pre-school education. If you do try a day school again part time, look for one that follows the state 'Readiness to learn' guidelines.
Finally, don't stress about it. He's going to be OK even if you don't do anything. You are mom, non-judgemental, warm and loving. You have the arms that will give him a hug at the end of that first day of school and all the bad days he'll ever have ahead, you don't care if he gets it right, just that he gives it his best when he does try. That's all YOU have to teach him.
Good luck

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i agree with most posters. he doesn't have to learn at this age. even if you decide he should know some things, do that through fun things.
i'll give you a suggestion in a minute here, just wanted to explain what i did. i have twins. at around 3 years of age one was ready to get started with letters. ok. she was easy to get her up to speed. her twin sister had no interest. fast fwd 4 months, the second one still had not learned one letter and/or sound. around that time i got them the DVDs letter factory and word factory. fast fwd a few weeks into it my second one knew all her letters and sounds which she learned from the letter factory DVD. so pretty much they were at the same level of letter/sound recognition. the first one is eager to start writing and reading. so, we got some workbooks (PRE-k) at barnes and noble that deal with letters and numbers. they never knew they were actually learning, they thought it's just a game. well, they're almost 4 now and can both write all the letters, they know their sounds, and can write their own names, first and last, and mine as well.
even so, i would have not cared whether they learned this stuff before kindergarden. i am in no hurry, but didn't want the second one to think i was not spending time with her as much as with her eager-to-learn sister.
worked for all of us.
so consider those two DVDs. go to amazon and I believe you get free shipping. the last toy that gets recommended for purchase by amazon along these two DVDs is a toy with detachable letters. i got that one as well. i think it's called word whammer. girls have no interest in that toy, and frankly, it's quite advanced for them at this point. so, from my perspective, that toy should be considered much later, when kids start learning how to build words.
good luck

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Is there any way you can enroll him in a Montessori program, even just a couple mornings a week?

The curriculum is designed around child initiated learning, and fosters a love for learning. They have 'jobs' which are toy-like games that are things they play with, but are learning at the same time.

Some things you can do to help foster learning at home, is find toys that are fun, and also learning. Dot to dot alphabets or numbers. Leapfrog has a DVD called Letter Factory that helps with sounds and letter recognition. They also have a set of fridge magnets that you plug into a device to hear the letter and sound.

The dollar store has little hand held toy that mixes up numbers, and you have to move them around to get them in order, that's a great car toy.

Other good number toys: measuring tape (let them measure things around the house) and a scale to weigh strange objects (they love the scale in the produce section)

There are puzzles that are floor puzzles with the alphabet on it.

If he actually likes crafts (my boys only like crafts for very short periods) you can have him glue cereal or macaroni to paper using groups of numbers.

You can have him help you make a recipe, trying to read how many of things, or just watching you measure, while he mixes.

Not all kids are jazzed at the same time, some are more interested in learning right now than others, Others will be interested at another point. He'll catch on. You don't really have to be 'teaching' ... he'll learn though play. But you can tailor his play without him knowing it :)

Another craft idea: beading a necklace with 4 red beads, 6 yellow and 12 blue (that kind of thing) and he can also learn about patterning this way.

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I think this is very common among children this age. My 4 year old used to be the same way and still has his moments when he simply isn't interested in any "formal instruction." My advice to you is to give him time and don't force the issue. Also, remember that a 4 y.o. learns a lot through play! So, although it might not seem like it, he is learing all the time. And just because he doesn't cooperate during your "learning time" doesn't mean that he doesn't already know some of the material you are trying to teach him. Keep being creative with your methods of teaching. Try having him play learing games on the computer on the sesame street or playhouse disney web sites. Take him to the library during preschool story time, where there are other kids around. There are lots of fun games to play around the house that can reinforce letters and numbers. Google it on the computer and you will come up with hundreds of resources to get ideas.

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