Not Doing Her Best in School

It sounds like she is not being challenged enough. If she doesn't have any problems doing the work I would speak to the staff at her school and have her tested to see if maybe she could "skip" a grade or two. There are also gifted and talented programs that should could get involved in and they are free and offered by most school systems. She sounds like a very bright girl who just is not being challenged to the best of her abilities. Good luck to you!

I'm a former 4th grade teacher. I use to deal with many chatty girls who just wouldn't focus in on the school work. Instead she is focusing all the work into socializing.

My question is how is she with her social friendships? Does she have friends in the class or is this her way to try to get friends? When the issue is in the socialization, it's important to understand what is happening in that arena. Could be something going on there.

Sounds like she is capable of doing the school work (teacher says she is smart etc)- and if she could only refocus her socializing, then her work wouldn't suffer.

If you don't know socially what is going on, I'd try to find out. Sounds like there is some underlying reason as to why she feels the need to get the socializing attention during school lesson time. Find out what that is and refocus her behavior there.

Another idea to at least try....If she is a good student with her work -- make her a peer tutor to other students. This is what I did in my class for my chatty cathy, make them the peer tutor and have the responsibility and discipline they have to show in the class time. In other words, refocus the social behavior so that it will be channeled into the schoolwork -- and maybe you will see her improve that way. This idea of course, you would have to work out with the teacher, but it may be at least helpful and something to try.

K., I wonder if she is just bored in school and needs to be challenged. Can you talk to the school counselor ( if they have one in elementary school) or to the teacher with an administrator present and ask if she could be considered/tested for a gifted and talented program? Many very bright children don't do well in the class because the material is so far below them that they stop listening to the teacher. And, if you think that just giving her some extra school work would help, just think how unfair it would be to ask her to do the same "boring" stuff that the other students do and then have to work hard to do something that it not required. Better for her to be in a setting where the entire curriculum is designed to challenge all the students in the class.

Do you take her to museums where you can see if she is excited by the new and higher information available? I'm not talking about children's museums, I'm talking about ones that have higher level content, like the MD Science Museum, the Museum of Industry, The Walters Art Museum or the Baltimore Museum of Art. See if she rises to a challenge, but explore a more challenging program with the school at the same time.

It sounds to me like she might be really bored with the level of instruction in her class. If she does her homework easily and without support from you, and yet is seeking "entertainment" in class through socializing, I'd bet that she needs more challenging work. Can you ask that she be moved to a more rigorous class, or given more rigorous assignments in her present class?

I'm both a teacher and a mom of a 4th grader, and I think 4th grade is really tough socially-- it's been a real stumbling block for all 3 of my kids. So there may be an issue of her trying to find where she fits in as well as just not being inspired to concentrate during class.

Hope that helps.
M.

My ten year old has been very similar. Try not to build up negativity around school. She's only 9 - and is wonderful - she does her homework without much help ((WOW!!!) Support what she does well. If she is falling behind because of her natural effervescence in the classroom (ie can't stop socialising!) then perhaps you could ask the teachers to give her the work she might have missed out on to complete over the weekend.

My daughter loves her weekends, and if she thought that she could avoid having to spend it on schoolwork by using her school time wisely, she'd be right into that.

Talk to your daughter about it, but I don't think you need to lose sleep over this at Grade 4. She's getting Cs, not Fs, which means she's achieving the standard.

I taught third grade for many years before I started staying home with my son. I've had students in my class that have had the same issues, and 9 times out of 10, the students were very smart, and just bored with what we were doing. I would go talk to the teacher about pushing her harder at school with more difficult work- maybe trying her in an upper level group or class, giving her more open ended assignments where she can make decisions about her own work and have the freedom to be creative and make her work her own. Also see if maybe the teacher can pair her with a student in the room that is having difficulties learning something, and have her be a mentor to the student to help them understand, or even having her go down to a younger grade to read or work with younger students to help them learn would give her some more motivation in the classrom and give her something to work towards as a reward during the day. I would also sit down and start talking to her about college (I know it seems early to do so, but kids that age do understand) and tell her that in order to get into a good school, she is going to need good grades and goals.

I agree with the previous posters who think she needs to be challenged more. I know you said you couldn't afford private school..have you looked into financial aid or any other types of programs? Maybe there is a way!

This would be my suggestion my mother did with my niece and nephew who live with her for doing poorly in school when they could do better.
Each Friday get your daughter to get a note from the teacher saying she didn't talk in class that week. If she gets it let her watch Tv or computer which ever is more important to her. When she doesn't get the note (for whatever reason she forgot or her teacher wouldn't give it to her) she doesn't get that thing. Keep it up EVERY Week. Leave it up to her to get the note, don't remind her make it her job. You do your part by providing the tv or computer she does her part by bringing home the note.
She's act like it doesn't matter to her for the first few weeks. She can live with out the computer or tv but after a few weeks or a month she will start working on it to get it because she will realize she's not getting to play her game or watch her show. Things will change....

Hi!
Have you had your daughter tested for ADD? When kids start to get older, there is more going on socially, as well as the schoolwork starts to get progressively harder. She may be getting overwhelmed with all the stimulation and having trouble focusing in school. If this is an ongoing problem, it will only get worse - believe me - my daughter's ADD is EXPLODING this year in high school (even with medication). There is just SO MUCH to deal with. She may just need to be taught some focusing and studying habits. Talk to her doctor. Best wishes to you and your child.
K.

Is it possible that she's not being challenged enough? Maybe she's bored and fills her time doing something more fun. See if the teacher can give her extra credit or a side project to do. Something "special" might just get her motivated. Good luck!