Normal Weight for Kids- Don't Want to Impose Hollywoods Unrealistic Ideals!

I wonder if you posted their heights correctly? My daughter is 6 years old and 49" tall (4 feet + 1 inch) and the tallest in her class. You've stated the heavier twin is 4 feet 9 inches tall. At that height 81 pounds is not extreme. You're only 6 inches taller and and nearly 50 pounds heavier.

No, no, no you do not put a 6 year old on a diet. It will all even out. If you are eating healthy and getting exercise they will be fine. It's possible she's getting ready to go through a growth spirt. I know my daughter always grows out and then up.

I think a lot of times people & doctors kind of assume all kids should be around the same weight at a certain age.
Some people don't factor in genetics.
If you say your daughters don't get a lot of sweets and are eating healthy. I'd say give it some time. Maybe talk to their mother and see if its the same case at her house.
Its very possible that their mother is putting ideas of being "perfect" is being thin?
Sometimes kids got through :"chubby phases"
I grew up in a healthy family, with barely any junk food. When I was around 8-10 I went through a "fat phase" Once I hit puberty it fixed itself really.

The smaller one will catch up. The twin that is obese needs to get her weight and health under control. Children in this range are quickly becoming diagnosed with diabetes and poor eating habits this young = obesity in adults. That can link to high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, low self-esteem.

You do not want that for her.

Instead of focusing on weight and body image, focus on eating healthy foods, eating healthy portion sizes, not scarfing down food and taking time to eat, not eating for pleasure or boredom and getting plenty of excersize and movement for both girls.

The problem with her huge appetites, is she probably eats very quickly and in large bites. when people do this, their brain doesn't process they are full fast enough and the person will overeat. That is why chewing fully, slower, smaller portions and drinking plenty of water during meal time on the table can help from overeating.

As many of the mommies have shared, size fluctuates considerably during childhood.
I think implementing good habits (as you have shared you are doing) with healthy eating, activity, etc. are important right now for BOTH girls.
Also, it might be helpful to get a few books aimed at parents to foster healthy body images, etc.
Best of luck!

I am a family Health Coach and here is what I know...
1. Weight issues are not always about the junk food. Often they are a product of being undernourished. Sure we can think we are eating the "right "foods, but until you know what is really going on in our food system, most people don't really know. (www.FoodMatters.tv)
2. Kids will grow at different rates, even twins. Our metabolism, our immune systems etc are all unique. It is okay for the twins to be different.
3. "Diets" never work, pure nutrition does (www.BestBreakfastEver.com)
4. I think weight is an issue at EVERY age. If there is something out of sorts then it needs to be addressed. 6 years old and 81 pounds is not the correct. Oh sure, you might hear it is "the average" but that doesn't make it right.

Do what feels RIGHT in our gut. Trust your Mom instincts. My passion is working with families who "just don't know" or who say "we eat well, no junk food etc...but something is still not right." I am not a nutritionist, I am not a dietitian, what I am is a mom and retired school teacher who is sick and tired of this weight epidemic in kids and has chosen to do soemthing about it. It is more than diet and exercise. It is more than "little to no soda or no junk food". It is a way of life, a standard of living and and education about what we are truly doing to ourselves.

B.

Kids.... always fluctuate in size/girth... because they go through so many growth-spurts... and then height spurts... no person or child, is the SAME exact size, anyway, since birth.

If anything, instead of emphasizing her 'appearance'... emphasize something more positive... like: exercise for health and HOW to eat healthy. Make it fun..... not about her "appearance' and the size of her clothes.
Kids... even this young, CAN and DO get hang-ups about their weight and appearance. So... be real careful... about what you tell her or how you help her.....
And never compare her to the 'tiny' twin.....
Twins do not have to look alike, anyway.
At a young age, it is about their emotional/psychological impact.... and how they feel about themselves.... IF they get hung-up on 'food' and their appearance... then, that will sabotage them... even if they are fat or skinny. And it will be a LIFE long battle.... for them to overcome.... emotionally.

I would perhaps, try to get exercise into the family activities... doing it with them....

Bear in mind, that many 'chubby' kids... then grow up into TALL LANKY kids.... later. So, be careful about seeing her, in only one way.... based on her physical appearance.
They are so young.... and should not get hung up, on appearance or weight.

ALSO: Make REAL sure... that their Dad... is NOT IMPOSING his views of what a girl should look like. Otherwise, a girl, based on what their DAD feels about them... WILL later develop hang-ups about how to 'please' a Man and what a girl is and how to get 'love' from a Man. It should NOT be based, on appearances or their figure.
My Husband for example: is careful in not saying things to my daughter that is just about appearance/fashion/her figure... to my Daughter. How he views 'women' as a Man... should NOT be imposed onto a young child... nor their own Daughter.

all the best,
Susan

Wow-this is a predicament for you guys. What you want to be careful is making a big deal about weight for girls that young. I would actually not mention it AT ALL. The reason I say this is b/c I have a friend who's 8 year old second grader had to be hospitalized for anorexia so it can and does happen to kids that young. I would be very worried about your thin daughter-not because she is thin which she sounds like she is naturally but b/c she is 6 years old and knows (probably is being taught by your DH) the value of being thin in our society, thus nicknaming herself tiny.
What you should do is really concentrate on limiting portion size for the bigger twin. Only have enough food available for her to have a normal portion. If she wants to binge make it vegetables/fruits which are almost impossible to overeat on.

If her mother is enabling her to eat junk food your husband should sit down with her about this. She is endangering the welfare of this child by doing so. I wonder if you would even have a case for this...esp since childhood obesity has been made such a hot topic through Michelle Obama.

you can actually find Body Mass index calculators online - google BMI children. Thay provide ranges for different genders & ages. Keep in mind that the year or two before puberty kids will get a little "thicker" - for lack of a better word as they prepare for growth spurts. I've seen it with my kids and with all of my nieces and nephews jsut before they entered "tween-dom". Obviously at 6 you're not there yet.

What to do if you find that her BMI is higher than it should be? That's the tough one. It seems that kids in these situations feel that there's so much of their life that they can't control that they look to food as something that's completely within their control. Which is why one may be eating very little and the other eating way more. Your problem is compounded by having a teenage boy in the house - who probably wants to inhale large quantities of food. I would suggest keeping only healthy options around - fruit, veggies, pita or bagel chips, cheese, but that'll be near impossible with a teenage boy around. You have to have cereal and pretzels in the house for a 17 yr old boy (although not for long).

Since you're in a part of the country where the weather is mild during the winter I'd urge both twins to get involved in sports - it will get the skinny one hungry and help her eat as well. If they're not into team sports like soccer or lacrosse how about hiking, bicycling, roller skating? It's also great for families to bond over. When you're out for a hike together it's tough to be distracted by the TV - and it's easy to goof around and build memories.

I would not worry about a diet at this point. She's 6. Jus tkeep her busy, limit TV and computer and put her out on the playground,

it is not just about what they eat, are they getting enough exercise?

mine went from being a bean pole to thick. he is not fat just thick. he was a bean pole till about 8. my baby went from thick to a bean pole. I think the weight issues for kids is unrealistic. all kids grow at diffrent rates they have to stock up for growth spurts then they thin out again. why worry or you will make them self concious to the point they want to be model thin. and give them complexes
as far as mallory ps response no offense to mallory but the michelle o has unrealistic expectations for kids. so does the thing she is married to they have no idea what reality is and live in a fantasy land. and when their kids get older they will realize thier expecations are unrealistic.

Hmmm, is fitness a prevalence in your house at all? I don't think that I'd mention weight as a factor at all. But if you could promote healthy habits in them, that it might help things along indirectly. Whether you take walks as a family or play a sport...
Of if you do anything with home fitness (whether it's regular video workouts or just something like a Wii Fit)...you could make it a fun family thing and maybe help the bigger Twin with unnecessary weight gain, and maybe build some healthy muscle in the little one. ??

As others have mentioned, it's probably better to focus on healthy habits and a healthy body image than on dieting at this age. We've had to deal with body image in our house. Here's our issue:

We have two boys, 6 and almost 13. The 12 year old is healthy, but is a bigger build than our younger son. He is very health conscious and always has been. He excercises and loves to read food labels. My husband and I are not obsessed about these things, but my son is really into it, and he's healthy. Well, our youngest picked up on it last year. He is very tiny - short, small bones, very, very thin. He started worrying about how much sugar he was eating. We don't even keep sweets in the house, but he worried about sugar on all of the labels. He gets plenty excercise, and as I said, he's tiny, but he started thinking he was fat. He would get very upset about it, and wouldn't eat certain foods because he thought it wasn't good for him (like Frosted Cheerios). I couldn't believe this was coming from a 5 year old boy. We did everything we could to promote a healthy body image, and had to be careful about everything we said in front of him. I'm small too, but I'm still a woman ;-) , (you know we're always h*** o* ourselves) and I had to be sure I never said anything negative about myself in front of him. Eventually I had to take him to the doctor and have the doctor and the nurse talk to him about how he needed to eat healthy foods, but that some sugar was alright sometimes too. They talked to him about how he needed to grow so that he would be healthy and strong. Eventually he got out of that phase, but we are still very careful to focus on healthy habits rather than on appearance. It was quite an ordeal, and it went on for about 4 months.

I'm sorry this got long, but I thought this story might help you with your situation. We don't want our children to be too thin or too heavy, but it's important to approach it from the angle of being healthy, not appearance, which I know is what you are doing, but they might not understand that if you aren't very careful about it.

I would focus more on healthy eating habits and exercise than on dieting for 6 year olds!

I have to say I wouldn't worry about the smaller twin as I meet so many kids like that. I would discourage the "skinny" comments though. My oldest is 6 and that never comes up. But I do understand your concern with the other twin as my daughters have always been on the heavy side. People say to not give them anorexia but being overweight is unhealthy too and a lifelong battle I want to avoid. But there are different body types and unless a child is eating unhealthily, it doesn't really make sense that they will continue to be overweight vs grow into it. What I do though is not push carbs at all and look at fat content so I'm not accidently giving something I don't realize has lots of fat. I've always been underweight so it'd never been a concern. So I figure they have to have protien and vegetables and fruit and then some carbs are ok but if they don't want to finish their rice at dinner, why force it? And I take the gobs of cheese on some pizza off. Sure, they get pizza but it doesn't have to be with a pound of cheese a slice. And they get cake at parties etc but one piece and I scrape off some of of the really heavy icing. It sounds like Twin2 will eat it everything so then fill her plate with other stuff. And I do encourage exercise. My daughters will never be competitive gymnasts but they're in gymnastics classes bc it's good exercise and they do stuff at home all the time now and on the playground at school. And I don't think there's anything wrong with telling a child that certain foods are unhealthy and if you eat a lot of them, you will get fat. I know some people will say that's wrong and horrible but to me the difference is my focus on A LOT of bad stuff and over indulging vs saying anyting along the lines of "you're not skinny enough" or forcing complete deprevation. I do tell my daughters that lots of potato chips will eventually make someone fat and that's not healthy. I don't mention appearance at all but I say how their heart has to work harder and they have a harder time running around etc. To me that's health, not appearance obsessive...

I would not worry about a weight gain diet, unless a doctor says it HAS to be done. I agree that maybe try to discourage the tiny and skinny comments, that it is about being healthy.

With twin2 not sure a specific diet is needed unless it HAS to be done through advice from a dcotor. What about talking to the family as a whole about protion control, do it while eating dinner/lunch, then bring up what healthy snacks are and sizes of the snacks. That way everyone is learning to eat healthy portions as well as how much junk food is allowed (after a healthy lunch one small candy bar, rest healthy snacks, after dinner a small bowl of ice cream).

My 15 year old started gaining a little too much weight, so we gently helped her lose some - she only had to lose about 10 lbs. but what I do to lose weight is not eat much at nighttime, and that's what she did and it helped. She only drinks diet sodas, water and 1% milk. She doesn't like sandwiches so she doesn't eat much at school, and she only eats in the cafeteria once a week. You should just not let her have seconds or give her less than she usually eats.