On Friday the teacher sent home a note that one of my twin 4 yr old girls tried to dig under the gate to the playground to escape. After much coaxing and assurance, I managed to get her to explain to me why she tried to crawl under the gate. She told me, "Mommy, nobody likes me; nobody wants to be my friend." Of course, with kids, "everybody" could be a total of 2 or more children...anyway, she was so upset that she was going to go home; she pushed and pushed on the gate and when it did not open she was going to crawl under it. I have witnessed and/or discussed somewhat similar behavior by both of my daughters; telling this or that person they could not be their friend, and yes, whenever I tell them something they don't like, I am subject to being informed I am no longer their friend or that I made a bad choice. I certainly do not teach my daughters to say such things, and I encourage friendships with all people at all times. I think their teacher does the best she can to also discourage ugly behavior and they are currently learning citizenship. Unfortunately, sometimes there are just more students than teachers and stuff happens. I have seen some of the shows on Sprout and Nick Jr that, in an effort to teach appropriate behavior, sometimes give my children ideas about bad behavior they might not have thought of on their own. For this reason, Caillou has been banned in this house. I think the writers had good intentions but the situations were just more than my girls were ready for. We have to be realistic and know that these are some of the difficult situations our children will face throughout their life and rather than protect them from it completely, just give them confidence and reassurance so that they can learn to deal with these situations. We can't stop people from acting negatively around us, but we can change the way that we react. So I encourage my girls to act appropriately, I listen to them and I talk through situations with them. When a girl is ugly to my girl, I remind her how she acted that way recently and show her how that feels, remind her that she was not a bad person and she did not really mean to hurt that other person and assure her that the unfriend would likely be a friend soon. I also encourage that they don't have to be everybody's best friend, etc. But in answer to your question, as far as I can tell, that is completely normal behavior in 3 to 4 yr olds. I see it more with the girls than the boys - the boys instead hit, kick, pinch and then laugh and play together. So maybe just work to build your girl's confidence and help her see that she is not defined by how someone else views her, and at the same time suggest that maybe that other person just had a bad day or made a bad choice and that all will be better soon, or else just find another friend. In my case, I have convinced my daughter that if she ever feels that badly again, she needed to go tell the teacher and if necessary call me on the phone to talk about it. She has felt much better for several days now. Good luck.