12 answers

Normal Boy Behavior

I have a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son. Today we were at a neighbors house letting the kids play. My friend has 3 boys aged 3 weeks, 2, and 3. I was holding the new-born and the 3 year old came up to me and this is what I heard, "Do you want to see my pee-pee"? I looked at the mother and asked what he said and she said, "Is the baby sleepy"? So I told the boy yes, he is sleepy. Well, I guess all he heard was yes, and when I got up to get the kids and go home, he showed me his pee-pee. I immediately told me friend and she said, "boys will be boys". Well, when we got home, I asked my daughter if her friend had showed her his pee-pee and she said that both of the boys had. I asked her why she didn't tell me and she said they told her not to tell mommy because they would get in trouble. So, is this normal? I don't feel comfortable going over there anymore if this is going to happen. My son doesnt show anybody his pee-pee, so I don't know what to think or do. My husband said that we needed to be careful when we go over there, but that we shouldnt stop going over there just because of this one incident. I am just at a loss. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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I have only read a couple of the responses but my thought on it is yes I would be a little upset if I had a daughter and that happend and I would be very upset if it was my son who did it. I do have a 6 year old boy and he has never done that but I have a 3 year old nephew who is so proud of his pee pee and wants to show people and I know that he is not abused in anyway. Yes I would address the mother about it for the fact that she should be aware of it, but to some of the responses have you ever thought that when the little boy said don't tell because he would get in trouble for the fact that the parents knows he is doing it and trying to break him from it so yeah he knows he would get in trouble. I don't know all of the situation so that is why I say I would say something to the mother so if something is happening that should not be happening she is aware that you know he is showing it. I also know that my sister would be devestated if people thought she was abusing her son. She knows he does it and he gets in big trouble when he does it. As far as the boys will be boys yes they will and that is I think part of it but it is us that has to teach them what is appropriate and what is not. Boys and Girls are very different not just in the body parts either. Hope this helps and Good Luck!

More Answers

If the boys parents do not take this serious when you talk to them, I would stop going over there. It has to be addressed. Your kids are too young to understand those possible issues. They are being told not to tell you things. That is a negative influence right there. Good luck.

i would talk to the parents...also i know kids are curious about each other and thats normal but they should be teaching these boys that their privates are not to be shown to anyone except the parents and doctors if needed.

I have only read a couple of the responses but my thought on it is yes I would be a little upset if I had a daughter and that happend and I would be very upset if it was my son who did it. I do have a 6 year old boy and he has never done that but I have a 3 year old nephew who is so proud of his pee pee and wants to show people and I know that he is not abused in anyway. Yes I would address the mother about it for the fact that she should be aware of it, but to some of the responses have you ever thought that when the little boy said don't tell because he would get in trouble for the fact that the parents knows he is doing it and trying to break him from it so yeah he knows he would get in trouble. I don't know all of the situation so that is why I say I would say something to the mother so if something is happening that should not be happening she is aware that you know he is showing it. I also know that my sister would be devestated if people thought she was abusing her son. She knows he does it and he gets in big trouble when he does it. As far as the boys will be boys yes they will and that is I think part of it but it is us that has to teach them what is appropriate and what is not. Boys and Girls are very different not just in the body parts either. Hope this helps and Good Luck!

This is definitely not normal. At the very least you need to tell your friend. Also, I agree with the other mom regarding possible/potential molestation. You have no idea what that little boy was exposed to. An older man could have asked to see it and rewarded him. It doesn't even have to be a family member. I heard the other day that a strange man walked into a church and molested a little girl in the bathroom. You really should take this incident very seriously. The number one thing we protect is the innocence of our children. Little boys don't normally do this so that means there is a good chance that he has learned it somewhere. Keep your daughter away from this child at least until you can get to the bottom of this situation. If the mother keeps saying "boys will be boys" then I wouldn't let me daughter around him. That may sound harsh, but what is more important? your daughter's innocence or saving face with an acquaintance?

Y.,
To an extent it is a boy thing. I do childcare and it seems like I only get boys for some reason, and if I hear the word weiner or pee pee I have to stop what I am doing and address the situation. I don't think you should stop going to play, just tell your daughter that she needs to come tell you when they say that or try to show her. If the little boys says he is going to get into trouble it is probably because the mom can't stop his behavior, and he does get into trouble. I am sorry to say, but if they laughed or thought it was funny in any way your son too may try this. They are future men...they will always admire what God gave them!!!....:) Remember to tell your daughter they only mommy, daddy and the doctor,with mom's permission, can touch or look at her private parts. If these little boys ask or try to do that then you may have reason to be concerned.
L.

Well I have a 4 yr old boy he will be 5 in Oct and a 3 yr old girl. If that happened to my kids I would of been shocked and worried about my daughter. My son has never done that to friends or even family. I would be watchful with my daughter.

Some boys do love to show off their pee-pees. Unfortunately this seems to continue into adulthood in some cases! :-) The fact that the boys told the your daughter not to tell anyone shows that they know they are not to do it. I would definitely tell your neghbor about them showing off in private. Be completely open about how it worried you a bit. It seems like a borderline thing to me. It could be a completely innocent and normal boy thing to do, and it could not be. If there is a deeper issue, you would feel horrible for not doing your best to bring it to your neighbor's attention. If you do go over there, I would be careful for a while to not leave the boys alone with your daughter. It is better to be safe than sorry! Also really drill it in your daughter's head that no matter who does something like that and tells her not to tell, that she should ALWAYS tell you things like that.

I would not be concerned for the boys at all NOR do I think they are being molested because of this incident! It isn't 100 % normal behavior for a boy to be so excrete with his pee pee but it's not out of the ordinary either. They're still so young to truly understand right and wrong about their private areas and I'd be concerned if the boys were 6, 7 or 8 and then showing off their pee pees.
AND, I'm sure your friend understood what he said but tried to play it off by saying he asked about the baby because she was so embarrassed about what he just said.
I wouldn't let this incident keep you from seeing your friend anymore but if it bothers you that bad then let her know and even though your son hasn't done this yet, he very well might now because of seeing the other boys doing the same thing.
However, don't freak out and think your child will be ruined if he picks up that habit, he will grow out of it and be just fire! There's a lot more behaviors I'd be concerned about my kids picking up.
Take care.

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