No Money, No Time, How Do You Make Quality Time with Your Spouse?

Hi J.,

I would definately agree with trading off babysitting with another family. That way you and your husband can be alone to chat & re-connect, without the kids. If you are on a small budget you can make plans to see a matinee movie (usually 1/2 price before a specific time).

There are a lot of free & low cost activities happening everywhere all the time. Do some research online, pay attention to community events. Here are some websites to get you started --

1) Free days for the Denver Zoo, Denver Museum of Nature & Science, Botanic Gardens, Performing Arts, Art Museum, Railroad Museum http://www.scfd.org/freedays.shtml

2) Moxie Moms - type in your city/state for local event happening coordinated by local Moms http://www.moxie-moms.com/index.php

3) Check out Go City Kids http://www.gocitykids.com/?area=191

I really hope this helps. Feel free to send me a message anytime.

T.

YOu could have a movie night at the house- I know it isn't getting out but the library has a great selection of movies along with new releases. A candle lite dinner outside in the back yard. Sometimes just a walk together is a great escape. I would as the grandparents that are 8 blocks away to watch the kids. Sometimes people like to be asked to do things. Get creative - you don't have to spend alot of money to have fun with your spouse. Probably your husband just wants to spend time with you away from the kiddos.

Hope that helps, C.

I'm not sure what the campground situation is where you live but... Because it's sometimes more trouble than it's worth taking a bunch of kids camping overnight, we've rented campsites just for the day which is usually 6 or so dollars. We'll just take our lawnchairs and the kids busy themselves cooking hotdogs and marshmallows while we relax and chat. Very cheap entertainment! Then when the kids are filthy and bored we just take them home.

Hey I know I'm kinda late on this but my husband and I were in the same boat, little to no money and wanted to do fun things together. If you want to include the kids, bake some cookies and let them pour in the pre-measured ingredients and help spoon it onto the pan. Play on the swingset with the kids don't just send them out by themselves. Play duck duck goose or tag. Play Yatzee, that's a great game to teach counting and adding. My 3 year old can play Go Fish and Uno. Have a tickle fest, let the kids brush mommy and daddy's hair. Paint toenails, run through the sprinklers, tell stories, go through photo albums. Surprise Grandma and Grandpa for a evening, get out some watercolors and construction paper and see what the kids come up with, have a tea party. Come up with themed meals like all a certain color or western or backwards where you wear your jammies to the table and have pancakes, put food coloring in the potatoes or milk and make it crazy. Eat under the table, camp out in the backyard. That's just a few things, I hope you can use them and maybe come up with more of your own. Have fun!

The best advise I can give if you don't have money for a sitter is to trade babysitting with a friend. That's what I do. My friend has a daughter the same age as mine, so when my husband and I want date night, our daughter goes and stays with my friend and her daughter free of charge. And then we switch. Not having to pay a babysitter frees up that money to be able to go to a movie or dinner.

About not having anything fun to do...My husband says the same thing! But we are the same way, paycheck to paycheck. Maybe the two of you could try separate activities. Like my husband enjoys playing poker, but we don't really have the money for it. So, he found a few places in the area where it's free to play. It gets him out of the house and lets him do something he enjoys for free. When it's my turn I do things that's just harder to do when I have my daughter with me. I get my hair cut, go shopping, spend time with friends that don't have kids. And even though they are just simple, not really exciting things, it still gets me out of the house and away from "Mommy duty" for a little while for some "ME" time! You could also try taking turns hosting get-togethers with your friends. Take turns hosting dinner at your house every month. While the kids are playing you guys can play games. We love playing Cranium with our friends while the kids play. It doesn't have to be that expensive to host a party. Or, you could try doing a pot luck. Maybe with a theme. Like one week everyone brings an Italian dish, and then next week Mexican. With potluck you are only having to make one dish, so it would probably be cheaper than your typical dinner.

Hope some of that helps! I know it's really hard trying to find things to do while living paycheck to paycheck, but just use your imagination and see what you can come up with!

Hi, J.. I can relate! I'm a nanny/babysitter and there is no way I could afford myself!:-) Therefore, a couple of girlfriends and I swap babysitting...like a co-op. We don't keep track of hours or even how many times we watch each other's kids. When one of us needs a sitter, we just send out an email to the other 2 and usually one person can do the sitting. Good luck!

As for activities, my husband bought a Nintendo Wii...you can bowl like almost real bowling, so that is our date night after our son goes to bed. We also just hang and watch 3 tv shows a week together. And now since the weather has gotten nicer, we'll take our son on a walk around the block some evenings.

Take care! T

You've already got some very good suggestions. I'll just add a couple of things my husband and I do to the mix. Neither of us likes television much, but we love to read, so for fun we'll pick out a book to read together. It's really easy to do after our daughter goes to bed, and it gives us something we can enjoy together. We exhausted our own supply of books early on, but the library has a never-ending supply. We take turns picking the book to read.

Another thing we have done is get together with two other couples, pool our money for a babysitter, and have a game night in our own home. The babysitter took care of the kids at the other end of the house, we made a meal out of potluck dishes, and had fun playing board games. It worked a lot better than I expected it too, it wasn't very expensive, and we had a lot of fun with people our own age.

Good luck!

J.,
I would love to share some ideas for fun, inexpensive ideas with your husband, and an opportunity to eliminate the other headaches from your family's life. Feel free to call me anytime!
J.
###-###-#### or emial me at ____@____.com

I would also tell your husband to think of things that sound fun to him. If he is the one saying you need to do more fun things, let him think a little too. And ask him what sounds fun to him. Maybe you could take turns just once a month planning a babysitter and an evening. You could do silly things like go rollerblading at Classic Skating. Or other things that don't cost much. If you spend $ on a sitter, then you need to be more frugal with what you do, or if you can find a free sitter (trade off with a friend) then you could spen more on your date that night. Picnics with just the two of you would be nice for the cheap nights.

Take up bike riding, that has been a wonderful family activity for us. You can drive to a path, a pretty spot and have a picnic. Or, you can just go from your house. A great way to start a tradition of weeknight or weekend rides. We have a 'chariot' or we use a backpack for our 20 mnth. old, a trailer bike or his own bike, for our 3 yr. old and our 5 yr. old rides her own bike. We always have some laughs and its so fun to see nature from a different view.

My husband and I hike alot of the trails,play computer games like jeopardy,wheel of fortune,The hikes are the best though,pack a picnic and carry it with you.Gives you great scenary,great alone time AND exercise.Hope this helps.I.

Well I can assure you that no one I know has activities planned every night of the week and those that do have several a week complain about it being too many things to do.

Anyway, if you are looking for family activities, you could go on an evening walk, play board/card games, go to minor league baseball games (usually very inexpensive, especially on "family nights"), buy some yard games like Bocci ball or croquet, go for bike rides, or swimming, etc.

If your looking for couple activities, you could still do games. My husband and I enjoy TV shows that aren't kid shows, so we'll rent shows like "24" or record reality shows like "The Amazing Race" and pop some popcorn, watch together for a "date" at home. That way we don't need a sitter and it's cheaper than going to a movie and we have something to talk about afterwards. Or find some projects around the house to do together - clean out the garage, plant some flowers.

Hope that gives you some ideas.

My husband and I have a similar problem. We have no family in the state to watch our daughter. We actually were able to get a sitter one night that did not charge an arm and a leg, then we went and got coffee and sat there and talked. Then we took a drive and just enjoyed no "children sounds". We were only gone about 2 hours but it was great. Do you have a friend that needs a sitter, maybe you could exchange babysitting, and with school almost being out maybe a highschool student is willing to babysit for cheap. Hope you find some time for each other.