No-cry Sleep Solution

Why do people think CIO means you let your baby scream until they fall asleep exhausted? That's not it at all! A friend of mine was freaked out by letting her baby cry for even a minute and rushed in there every night, several times a night to soothe him back to sleep. He never learned to put himself to sleep. She did this for THREE YEARS. Don't tell me a 2-year old can't sleep through the night, but he was so used to getting up several times a night that he did it forever.

I think you should read all the methods out there and find the one that seems to fit your personality and your child's personality. Then start there. It might be a "no cry" method. But don't discount CIO. All CIO does is give your child a chance to figure out a solution themselves. If not, then you help. Isn't that how we want to raise our kids?

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HI J.,
I just wanted to tell you, now that my kids are 5 and 7 and are actually sleeping, It sooooo has less to do with me and what i did,It was all about their personalities.
I tried cio and it was NOT good. I listend in to another friend do cio several years later and there was such a difference, My child was HYSTERICAL, her's whimpered for 5 mins. NOT THE SAME. There is a difference in how babies cry for different things, and you have to trust yourself to know if they are giving you a sleepy whimper or if the world is ending.

for a 3 mo i would probably do dinner, bath, one little board book with the lights dim, 1 little lullaby and put the baby in the crib drowsy (HA my kids never had a drowsy it was awake or asleep and then i put them down adn they were awake again.) you don't want to stretch your routine out too long, if they yawn cut it short.

I would move a sleepign bag in on the floor by the crib and sleep there for the first few hours and then gradually wean from that, but i always felt better being close by. during that transition.
No stuffed animals and blankets!!

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I don't quite understand how people expect their children to not cry. Giving in to your child and consoling them every time they cry doesn't teach them anything, except that they can't handle things on their own.

But anyways, as the first poster said, "no cry" solution actually allows the kid to cry. I used Babywise, and within 3 days of implementing what I read, my son (9 months old) was sleeping thru the night. But yes, I had to put him to bed drowsy and not asleep. He cried, so I let him cry a couple minutes, then went in there and told him time for night night. Biggest thing was to not pick him up and take him back to the rocking chair and rock/hold him fo another 10 minutes.

As for routines, do what works best for you. At 3 months, I would put on the lavendar 'nighttime' lotion on my son, or even on his clothes so he'd have that 'nighttime' smell and learn to associate that with bedtime. We'd rock in the rocking chair and he'd nurse. and then go to bed.

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From one of the other responses, I have the feeling that the method that you are talking about does have some CIO. I did my own version of this based on Babywise. I started with a 2 minute interval, and then 5 minutes, and stayed with 5 minutes (she is still young). I did the same with my 2 year old too. When I wanted to transition, I started with naps in the crib, but still sleeping in the bassinet with us at night. Then, when he was sleeping through the night, I did the transition to his crib. This didn't seem to bother him at all, and he slept better. I have swaddled both, and both have seemed to understand nighttime and go down better than at naps.

As far as night time routines, she eats, gets changed and into pj's and then finishes out her wake time. When she is getting drowsy, or 9:30, whichever comes first, we take her into the bedroom and read her a story, then put her down. I do have ocean sounds at night for her and other music during the day. She is also fully swaddled at night, and only her arms during the day.

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I really like the book, though she has a certain set of guidelines through 4 months and then after that. What I learned from my two girls is that some kids sleep better than others, some go to bed earlier and some just take time. The book really helps you to establish routines and be away of your child's signals. It also helps with consistency. We do the typical get pajamas on (bath 2-3 times a week), read story, sing a few songs (nurse if baby is young), rocking and then bed. I don't agree with CIO method--it works fine for some, but for others, it is too much. Children are individuals and must be treated as such. The fact that your baby is sleeping so well is a great sign (wow! don't tell other moms!), but they do tend to wake up more the further apart from mom they are. Try to move bed time back 30 mins at a time and aim for around 7:30, which is really the latest a child should go to sleep based on natural rhythms we all have. I found it also worked better if I nursed & rocked and then my husband actually brought her to her crib and put her down. Good luck!

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YAY for no CIO! It takes a long transitioning time for the no cry sleep solution. Just make sure you have that in your head. Maintian a great routine that dosen't move a whole lot. Our routine is at 5 (we have to be up early so early bed time for us!) I give him some solid food (your can just be a calm playing since solids is still a month away at the earliest) then since he is super messy from eating we have a bath. Then it's a body massage with some of the sleepy time lotion stuff. Massage is a great way to calm down a baby and be ready for bed. Then we read a couple books, bottle then I put him in the crib and let him play till he is ready to sleep (leave the room), unless he ready right then, then I rub his back while singing till he falls asleep(if he still doesn't fall asleep and is playing still, go out of the room let him play cry for a second, pat, repeat till he is asleep) . After awhile of doing that (like a month or two) he knows that it's bed time. He just was sick and so we have to start this all over again. Oh and I put a bottle of water in there so in case he wants to still suck (he doesn't like binki's) Oh and invest in a good night time cd. One that you can stand to listen to. Each night I chose a new song and put that on repeat so that it's not a new stimulation with a new song.

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Sorry the other moms aren't helping you out. I'm not good with sleep advice, but there's a yahoo group that is based on Pantley: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NoCrySleep2/

Also, check with your local API (attachment parenting international) group or even La Leche League. *someone* will be able to give you the right tools that sit with your mama's intuition AND help your little one sleep peacefully.

While you're at it, pat yourself on the back for being such a good and caring mama!

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with my 3 month DD our routine is this:7:30 we go for a 45 min. walk, then we come home and she gets a bath, massage, then food. Usually in bed by 8:45-9:00.

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I used Babywise and started it on day one with both kids. I always fed my babies when they were hungry, there was NEVER a night when they just cried and cried and I left them alone. Both of them were sleeping soundly thru the night at 6-8 weeks and have ever since.

Three months is too young. Babies cannot self soothe at that age so opting for CIO is not a good idea. After four months, they can soothe themselves to sleep. I have twins and we moved them out of our bedroom (they were in cribs) after four months. I did not use CIO (and I didn't need to) but will say: see how your son does on his own first. I wasn't extremely reactive by my children crying either; meaning, I didn't run into their room every time they cried in order to soothe them. Babies cry and they need to find a way to soothe themselves. They learned pretty quickly that their parents would not be there all the time and they figured it out and adapted. My twins are three and I've never had sleep issues (they have and still sleep through the night). No need for CIO or a more systematic way for a sleep routine. Just be consistent. What also worked for us was the use of loveys. It's very comforting to them. We also ditched the pacifier for our son by six months so he wouldn't rely on it as a soothing device. Hope this helps.

FYI - I'm not sure why they named it "No Cry" Sleep Solution - because it is CIO...except they tell you to go in the room and calm them back down at certain intervals of time.

I bought the book for my first son, and it didn't work for us. But I know a lot of people that had much success with it.

With our second son at a very young age (3-4 months) I got him really really sleepy then put him in the crib so he was used to falling asleep in the crib. That seemed to really work for us, now at 7.5 months we can put him in the crib at nap/bedtime w/o a lot of fussing.

Our now 11 months old son had been sleeping in his crib since he was 2 months old. He never really cried until he was a bit older (forgot when exactly). We used to just put him down in his crib after I feed him and he would just fall asleep on his own without crying or fussing. We do take him for a long walk before putting him down so maybe that helped.

When he got older he started fussing and crying when we put him down (we do have a routine of feeding and then reading to him) we did use the CIO method. Going in there at intervals to soothe him without picking him up. We didn't start the CIO method until he was about 9 1/2 months. Before that me or my husband would hold / rock him in our arms and then once he was out we put him in his crib. The CIO method worked for us. It took about a week to work. Now he would just fuss and sometimes cry a little bit after we put him down and he would fall asleep on his own. We put a stuffed animal toy in his crib and he would play with it before falling asleep. Our routine now is either take him for a walk or let him play to sort of tire him out and then we put him down.

Hope this helps and good luck !

I just want to encourage you to stick with not using a CIO method. If Pantley's book doesn't work for you, there are other ways to go about it if it is important for you not to let your baby CIO. And it doesn't mean you will be a slave to your child's erratic sleep. Teaching our children to go to sleep on their own can take a longer time if we choose a gentler approach rather than letting them CIO, but I believe that it is worth it. My husband and I chose to co-sleep with each of our daughters until they were almost 2, which is when we transitioned them to their own beds. But I realize this is not for everyone. I'm just saying it worked for us. Try different things, see what works for you, find a support group - whatever it takes for you to parent your child the way you choose. You will be criticized by some and supported by others no matter what you do. :)

I used the CIO method with my oldest and she took to it very easily. I think the few times I let her whimper it was only about 5 minutes. I think that the method you use has a lot to do with the child. My boys just always slept very well and I had no issues with them. Occasionally I would stand by the crib and rub their back. My youngest always had lots of ear infections so I just put a recliner in his room and slept with him most of the time. He was usually asleep on top of me. There again, this would not work for all children because a lot of children would become dependent. My daughter is a natural born leader and I think that is why the CIO method only took a few times and then she learned to self soothe very quickly. If you work with the child and learn what method is best for him and there is a lot less tears for everyone.