No Cry Sleep Solution

There is the cry it out or not crying it out, not crying means you are going to give him what he wants, to get up and be with you or sleep with you. So you need to decide if that is what you want for him and yourself. Maybe doing the super nanny method with putting a chair in his room, sitting there until he goes to sleep, each night moving it closer to the door. Do not talk to him or pick him up but reassure him you are there. Then eventually just let him be on his own. He knows there is a breaking point, if it is puking, pooping or whatever he will do it to get what he wants. After a year mark he needs to learn to soothe himself so try different methods before bedtime, like maybe one of those voice activated music boxes where if he if fusses or cries it kicks on and slowly winds down in five minutes. Is he doing this when you first put him to bed or in the middle of the night? If it is at bedtime he could be over tired, try putting him to bed before he is really tired as being overly tired can have adverse effects. Try a different routine for bedtime too. Ultimately you will have a newborn soon and your son needs to sleep on his own, even if it means him crying for two hours, he will stop and it will lessen in length....

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I also had a son that would cry and make himself throw-up. And you HAVE to take care of that. Same as pooping. Despite that, persistence with the crying out method really does work. First, make sure his basic needs are being taken care of. Dry diaper. Fed. Warm/cool enough. Medicine for gas/growing pains? Scared? Night light and/or blankie and/or stuffed animal and/or one of your dirty shirts and/or a picture of you to comfort him. Consistent bedtime routine. Give him a snack before bed. Use lavendar in the bath and for lotion. Read him a story. Rock him. Sing him a song and slow dance with him. Play soothing music. Put him to bed. If/when he cries --- let him cry for 5 minutes and return to the room to reassure him without picking him up and touching him. Then leave. Repeat at 10, 15, 20, 25, and 30 minutes. He'll probably be sleeping by then. But, if he's not sleeping after 30 minutes, pick him up to console him. After he's settled down again, start all over. This is not something that can be fixed overnight. It could take days/weeks. I don't know who told you you can't move a sleeping baby. I think you can --- just be careful not to wake him up. And when you hit a bump in the road, yes, you have to start all over. You need to take care of this because you've got a second one on the way. Also, enlist your husband's help. You guys need to be a team. Plus, make sure you've got your baby active during the day so he is exhausted at night. And make sure he's getting nap(s) during the day. The problem may be he is overtired. You are not a terrible mom. You are teaching him independence. No one likes to hear their baby cry. But he (and you) will survive. Good luck.

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I was in the exact same boat as you are 3 years ago, and my son was the same age when I started it! I think you definitely have enough time with 8 weeks. The book saved my life, I didn't know how to strike the right balance between cry and no-cry, and I couldn't stand to hear my baby cry. The main thing to remember with this method is patience. If you stick with it and are consistent, it will work. And it will work sort of "all at once" and you'll be surprised at how "easy" it is once it's over. Keep track of the awakenings just like the book says, and just take teeny-tiny baby steps each night. Some nights you won't make any progress, and other nights will be small miracles. I was also nursing at this time, so that made it even tougher, but every night I just unlatched a little sooner, even if it was one or two seconds. Then the next step was to get him to stay in his bed and cry for a few seconds more each night (I could never let him cry more than a minute or two--it just was not going to work for me!). Then all of a sudden, he just stopped waking and crying. So definitely give it a try, I think the book is wonderful, even though I don't agree with all of her ideas, it definitely worked for me with the night awakenings. Good luck!!

Hello N.,

I don't believe in letting a child 'cry it out' I think it breeds insecurity and makes the little one feel abandoned. I'm not one to hold a child in my arms until they fall asleep either... what worked for us, and I mean REALLY worked for us is a method suggestion by an English Nurse and author ,Tracy Hogg. She's written a book titled the "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" She saved my life! Our son was had severe GER for almost 12 months, so sleeping was hard for the little guy (and us) He never slept during the day, so once we got him down at night, we wanted to keep him that way. Buy the book, borrow the book...and fast. Good luck

when i was pregnant with my third my daughter was still not sleeping through the night, the cry it out method did not work for us either. I knew that i could not get upo with both every night, so my husband stepped in. He took a week and slept in her room, on my oldest twin bed. Every time she sould wake up my husband from his bed would just tell her that she was all right and she would lay back down. It took a week or two but she stared sleeping through the night. I was lucky that my husband took one for the team as you will, cause it made all the difference for us. She now is a peaceful sleeper that goes to bed on her own. Good luck

To help my baby go to sleep we would respond immediatey to her cries and not wait for 10 minutes like the Ferber method. But we would not stay in very long and comfort her. We would usually just rub her head, tell her it is going to be all right and then leave immediately. She usually would calm down right when we came in. At first we would have to keep going back in there like 8-10 times a night but now it is only 0-2. It worked for us but I know every baby is different! Good luck-I know how frustrating sleep can be with babies! Hang in there-it'll get better!

There is a great book out there called the Baby Whisperer. She is definitely full of practical advice about sleep difficulties and is not an advocate of the "cry it out" method. She has consulted families on child rearing for many years, and has great results with her methods. I have never had the slightest interest in letting my children cry it out. I sure don't want to be left alone screaming in the dark when I'm scared and need comfort, so I can't imagine leaving my baby to suffer through that. I understand sleep deprivation, and it is very difficult, but this book helped a lot, and it was worth the ability to serve and bond with my children(3).

God Bless you,

Hi N.,
You are on the right track. I have never been a believer in the cry-it-out method. The key to any method is consistancy and patience. This will take weeks (could be many weeks) but it will be so worth it for you and your son if you can stick with it long enough to get him in a good pattern.
Good luck to you. Take care,
B.

i havent heard of this method before but i do not like to let them cry for too long. i have 3 and each one of them is differnt our first slept in our bed because we didnt have any other results the 2nd went to sleep in her crib every night no problems (she likes to sleep) the 3rd is 5 mo and he wont go to sleep any other way then to cry for 10 min. but one thing that can work is to make a nightly routeen of a nice baby bath with lavender wash then a book and maybe a little back rubbing this makes it a bonding experence instead of a abandonment thing i dont do it every night but it sure helps the nights we do do it try to sleep when he does youll be glad you ddi when # 2 gets here good luck hope this helps

We're right in the middle of this too, with our 6 month old. I have read just about every book out there on sleep, and tried several methods. We first tried the Baby Whisperer method, and it literally ruined our lives for three weeks... trying to "pat/shush" her to sleep while she screamed her head off! I would love to be able to rock my baby to sleep, but it DOESN'T WORK! I rock her and she screams. It seems no matter what we do, she cries when it's time to go to sleep. She goes to day care, so there's not much I can do about the fact that she takes only 2 catnaps all day. We are SO tired, it feels like my life is a movie that I'm watching.

We let her cry it out at night, with no checks, because the checks just set her right back to the beginning, making her scream even harder. It took three weeks, but then she started going to sleep on her own! She still woke up 2-3 times at night to nurse, but I was happy for that because she used to wake every hour. Now she has a little cold and is back to waking every hour, so I guess we may have to do this all over again.

Anyway, I'm bummed to hear this is still going on for you with a 13 month old ;) And I wanted to point out how unique all babies are. The "no cry" solutions (I like to call it, the "no sleep, cry solution") don't work for all babies. For mine, apparently, nothing works.

N.,

I've been there. It will get better!

We started No Cry when my daughter was about a year old. It worked fairly quickly for us. The biggest habit we had to break was nursing to sleep. I had Daddy help with the final putting to bed part, and it was wonderful. My daughter enjoyed the special time with her Daddy (he works a lot, so she didn't get to see him much during the day); he enjoyed the time with her and feeling like he could do something concrete to help me out; I enjoyed getting an early break when I was totally burnt out by the end of the day. The biggest things that helped us were creating a stable bedtime routine and putting her to bed early. In the beginning, you will want to be very protective of your bedtime routine. As your daughter gets accustomed to the schedule, you may be able to have a few late night activities without any major impacts, but in the beginning you definitely want to be consistent.

Most of all, don't let yourself be deterred by any naysayers. You are doing the right thing for your son by helping him to sleep gently. (And by not leaving him in a poopy diaper all night long!)

Best of luck,
S.

As mothers we are given a gift called mother's intuition. Sure there are great books out there on parenting but all children are unique and different. Go with your heart if it feels mean and inhumane it probably is. Both of my children need my love and reassurance before drifting off to sleep. I am a big fan of rocking children to sleep it is a special bonding time for the two of you and it helps the child relax and drift off to sleep rather than being all worked up and crying.

Hi N., My friend Nicol has a 8th month old and a two year old. If one wasn't crying the other was and most of the time both were crying most of the night. She gave them Zrii and form that time on, no more crying at night. Dilute it with water for the baby in the bottle. you will want to check it out first and hear what the doctors are saying about this product. go to www.S..myzrii.com click on Zrii Radio.

My only advice (what worked for us) is to enlist your husband as the primary parent in getting your son to bed using the techniques from the No Cry Solution. This is especially important because you will have primary responsibility for your new baby in a few weeks. It can work, so just hang in there!

My oldest daughter sounds exactly like your child. She was not a good sleeper. We tried everything including no cry sleep solution. I'm afraid the only thing that worked was time. My child is 3 years old and most nights sleeps through the night but it took all this time for her to get there. I too tried to let her cry it out with no avail. My pediatrician said if you let her cry two hours tonight she'll cry 1 hour tomorrow night. We always found she would cry harder, longer and louder the next night. If you really want to sleep, rocking your child to sleep and putting them down is not such a bad idea to keep your sanity. I'm sorry I don't have better news but know that your child will get better in time.

At 13 months babies are only learning to love and trust. If you leave them screaming they are learning the opposite. I am not a fan of crying it out. He is only a baby I rock or lay by my babies until they are about 3 and then do the super nanny method. They grow up so fast I think when they are babies we should treat them like babies. I didn't realize this till baby #3. It is hard to not make that #1 grow up to fast.

I agree that cry it out does not work for every baby. I used the No Cry Sleep Solution with all three of mine. It does take a little longer to get to the point you want to be at (asleep all night by themselves), but it DOES work! Really my only advice is to stay consistent, and believe that it will work. If you go into it thinking it won't work, it probably won't, but if you are confident that this will work for you, it probably will.
Good luck, and good for you for realizing that cry it out just isn't for everyone!

I am with you on not doing the no cry. Personally I think that it is just plain cruel. I have 5 children with the youngest being almost 13 months and as with all of them I rock him to sleep. I am sure that your little one is feeling some anxiety about you having another baby. Even though he is young babies know that something is up that will upset their little world. Take the time now to help him adjust and feel reassured that Mommy is not going to forget him in all the craziness that is about to become his life. sounds like you are doing wonderful by your baby and love him very much just try to relax and enjoy your time with him at night. : )

I did try the No Cry Sleep Solution at first with my daughter (my first child) because I felt terrible letting her cry. It has a lot of really great suggestions to follow, including putting on music for the baby at bedtime(both my kids go to sleep with music on to this day). But the method they teach you to do takes a LONG time (weeks). My problem was, I just didn't have the patience for it, and the crying it out thing worked in two days. But I was lucky, and had kids that only cried for about 10 minutes each night. I think that for you, the No Cry Sleep Solution is your best bet. I wouldn't have let my kids cry it out if they had as hard a time as your son has! THe poor kid! Good luck. I hope it works for you.