Nipple Obsessed Two Year Old.

Updated on September 20, 2008
S.S. asks from Bountiful, UT
16 answers

I have a really odd issue. My 26 month old girl is completely obsessed with nipples. She constantly has her hand down her shirt and is playing with her nipples. She wants to be held A LOT and when either her Dad or I am holding her she puts her hand in our shirts. I always move her hand off my nipple but it has not deterred her so far. It is mostly when she is trying to fall asleep. She does not have a "Lovey" though I have tried every blankie & stuffed animal. She was a breastfed baby and does use a binkie. I really don't think it's a sexual thing. I am just wondering has anyone else dealt with this?

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

My daughter had and still has similar issues. We discussed with her about p****** p****. I told her that it is the only thin in the world that she 'owns' and hs a say about what happens to them. In that case, she has to be in charge of keeping them to her self. So she can do what she needs to "explore" it just needs to be in her room. Unfortunately, n this world, there is too many perverts and it is time for her to gently know she is in charge of her body. allow her a safe place to explore but boundaries. we also have a rule for both my son and daughter that a shirt and inderpants have to be on all the time unles they are in their rooms a lone. This allows for them to understand they need to be dressed when friends are over to play or even if grandpa is here for a visit. we started this as they were about two and have moved on to talks about strangers aproaching them, safety people, etc. Good luck, set safe boundaries now while it is easy, and allow her safe approapriate freedom in her privacy of her room.

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C.M.

answers from Provo on

I have a friend whose little boy around that age liked to rub the mole on her neck as he fell asleep. He did that to everyone even if it wasn't his mom. If you had a mole in the same place he would have his arm in the air touching the mole. She must like the feel of that and has made it her comfort or relaxation thing. I have never had my kids do that but have seen it. Maybe you could find a stuffed animal and go buy some kind of a button or bead that you could sew on as a belly button or nose and show her rubbing that and see if that works. It is clearly a comfort thing.Good luck!!

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R.K.

answers from Salt Lake City on

LOL...hahaha...yeah, it's annoying but nothing to worry about.

They like the skin to skin contact...both of my younger two babies have been like this. What worked with the older one is putting her hand up my sleeve so she could feel my arm. The youngest I put her hand up to my shoulder and in my hair.

You can try those.

Every child has their thing: some it's blankets, pillows, stuffed animals...others it's MOM--her hair, her skin, her lap...I LOVE that I'm my children's comfort. And let me tell you, the children who've had a "thing" for comfort are SO MUCH MORE NEEDY than my Mom-kids...the MOM-kids established within themselves that I'm ALWAYS going to be here so they take off and are SO FRICKIN' INDEPENDANT it scares me sometimes, while the others are always checking, always worried--drives me NUTS! I prefer the needy babies and independant big kids to the independant wee ones and the needy teens a THOUSAND times. :o)

It'll all work out fine. OH, I just heard a quote yesterday thoght was great and seems to fit here: It's really 10 percent what you Make it and 90 percent how you TAKE it. SO, depending on how you take it you're react to it, mold it, and live with it differently. At my house, it's not a biggie...fun to hear another mom with a baby who LOVES skin.

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C.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

S.,

I agree with you. There isn't anything sexual with this "obsession". Your daughter is old enough to teach that nipples are private and something very special that you don't want her touching. Take the time to decide the best way to approach this. Please let her know that she has done nothing "wrong", simply something that people feel uncomfortable about.

Best of luck with this one.
With my whole heart,
C. TLC (Transition Life Coach)

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

both my sons like to play with nipples if given the chance. They are not quite as obsessed, and I'm sure it's not sexual - kids that age don't think that direction unless someone teaches them something. My son also pokes my moles. They just stick out and look different. Perhaps you could try to distract her with different body parts like her nose, lips, eyelids, whatever.

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K.M.

answers from Boise on

I breast fed my daughter for almost four years. My boobs (her babies) as she called them were her comfort. I called a breast feeding support group to ask what I should do to quite breastfeading at this age because she was really attached to breastfeeding and with touching them. They suggested that I take her out to go get a special blanket that she picked out herself, a big girl sippy cup and a necklace that had some beads on them that had the same feel of my nipples. It was a perfect transition. She still will reach her hand down my shirt some mornings, and I let her...it was her comfort for a long time. She is 4 and 3 months old.

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K.D.

answers from Provo on

My son liked to put his hand down my shirt around that age too. Don't make a big deal of it, just gently remove her hand or if she has her hands down her own shirt gently remind her that hands go on the outside of clothes. If you make a big deal out of it, then it will become an attention getter. Good luck -- we're working on hands down the pants now that my son is potty trained. :)

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S.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My little boy did the same thing, it started when he was almost one, and it occasionally still happens (he's 5 now). We just did what you did, redirected him, and it eventually died down. He used it for the same reason, it seemed to soothe him. I would just say keep at it, and it will go away. Once my son was old enough to reason with, we told him it was a 'private' behavior, and if he needed to do it, he should do it alone, never in public. Good Luck!

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L.R.

answers from Denver on

My son is almost four and he is/was like this. We try to distract from the obsession and not make a big deal of it.
I think it is a little strange, but obviously there is more than one child who is interested, plus it is a source of comfort for him/them. My son was breastfed as well. Downplaying has been good for us.

Good Luck!

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C.H.

answers from Denver on

I had a daughter who was obsessed with her belly button. To comfort herself, she'd point her finger in there and get this happy relaxed look. She's seven now, and I just asked her if she still touches her "bee-bee". She got a happy smile and said that she does sometimes. I think it's very cute.

I think your daughter's obsession is just about the same, although I'd remove her hand from your chest and tell her that your anatomy is off-limits.

She'll outgrow this, and then you'll remember it wistfully.

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C.M.

answers from Boise on

My 28 month old started this (boob and chest not my nipple) when I weaned her at 17 months. It wasn't until we cut out all sippy type cups at nap time and bed time that it stopped. I kind of miss it now especially since she now pulls the skin on her neck. Kids do funny things for comfort. When the binkie goes I am sure this will stop. We have been trying to find something soft to act as a replacement for her neck, but she has no interest in a lovey. She says it is not the same. Good luck.

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K.H.

answers from Fort Collins on

My daughter is 18 months old and she is obsessed with the Boob not so much the nipple. And she only does this when it is time for a nap or bed. I just ask her nicely to remove her hand and she usually does, but it took lots of patients and time of me just removing her little hand. I have been trying to get her to have a lovey and so far 50% of the time she holds her stuffed animal. So I would not make a huge deal out of it, I would direct her in a positive way towards a stuffed animal or a baby doll or something else. I believe it is just a phase no worries.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

It is in no way a sexual thing, it is a "cool look what i found" thing. My daughter did it around that age. It is a phase and she will outgrow it. However from experience the bigger deal you make out of it the longer it will take to get rid of the phase, believe me! :)

It is totally okay now to be firm with her when she does it to you, this will hopefully help deter it from strangers or other kids. Just take her hand out of your shirt or your husbands and say "NO, that is not polite" and be firm. As far as with herself, it really isn't causing harm but try and make sure she isn't doing it in public and just gently remove her hands when you see her do it and try and distract her with something else.

I would start working on breaking her from her pacifier first vs. worrying too much about this. The pacifier to me is a bigger issue. Right now she is just exploring her body which is so normal now. Maybe you can get her to focus on a new stuffed toy, doll at her choosing or something else and really encourage her being a big girl..and take her to get a big girl surprise.

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P.H.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My son was the same way when he was that age. Only in his case it was simply the feel of bare skin that comforted him, not particularly the chest area. As I held him, he'd ease my shirt up or my button-down dress open, etc. He'd do it so gently I wasn't really always aware of it happening, even, but often would simply realize I was exposed. (Sometimes in public - oops! Embarassing.)He just wanted to snuggle against my bare skin. I always just removed his hand and covered myself back up. Eventually he outgrew this, and perhaps the gentle teaching of my repeated removal of his hand helped get the message across. Don't worry about it too much. She'll outgrow this stage.

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E.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter never attached to any kind of blankie or stuffed animal, and so her lovey was my skin. It started very gradually when she was still breastfeeding so I didn't even really notice. She'd just kind of place her hand on my chest while she nursed. After she stopped nursing is when I really think she started to need to touch my skin more often. She didn't specifically go for my nipples, but wanted her hand down my shirt. I just think the skin there is warm and soft adn she liked her hand to be enclosed in my shirt. By the time I noticed that it was a serious habit, it was kind of too late. THe problem is, you can't take away your skin the way you could take away a bottle or binkie. I would remove her hand from my shirt over and over again but it would just go right back in there. The habit continued seriously until she was probably four years old, I hate to tell you that. Eventually instead of putting her hand in my shirt, she would just want to touch a little mole I have near my collarbone every time she was tired or sad.

You're not the first person this has happened to! Unfortunately it is a really hard habit to break and I think it makes the child want YOU specifically all the time, even in the night, because they can't grab their lovey. I know another mom whose daughter went specifically for her nipple when she needed comfort. So funny!

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L.T.

answers from Denver on

S.,
I know exactly how you feel. It is completely normal for breastfed babies. It is totally for comfort, not sexual. My son was the same way and actually as a three year old when he is in stressful situations he will still try for a grab. I think I just tried to deter him at some point and would tell him I love him and try to put my cheeks on his cheeks and console him but distract, distract, distract. I guess I never really minded until it got to be a little too embarrassing in public or around family or whatnot. There just comes a point where they get to be too big for it to be okay anymore and you have to tell them that in a way that won't hurt their feelings and/ or make them feel abandoned. You are right it certainly is because they haven't attached themselves to anything else of comfort as in a babydoll, a blanket, a bottle or a pacifier. We have been their comfort. Those are just the things I did and eventually it worked and he stopped. He never played with his own but my cousins little girl did. There is nothing wrong with your sweet little baby except that she loves you dearly.
L.

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