103 answers

Nine Year Old Daughter Wants to Shave Legs

I am so embarrased to ask this question to anyone. Any input is gratefully accepted. My 9-year-old daughter wants to start shaving her legs. She's blonde and so is the hair on her legs. You can't really see it. A girl made fun of her at the waterpark and now she is in major distress about it.

I don't know what to tell her...is she too young to shave? She's not even developing yet. She's very upset and I am at a loss on how to handle the situation. School is about to start and she told me she would only wear jeans.

Help!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Wow! What an overwhelming response! (And I thought I was the only one with this issue...) Thanks so much to all of you for your insight and advice. Here's what happened.

This turned out to be a greating bonding and teaching moment for my daughter and me. I told her I wanted her to make the decision about this issue and that I would help her get through this "girl stuff" as best as I could if she would come to me and talk about it. Right now she is in her "Mom is stupid about everything" mode, so I asked my neighbor's 13-year-old daughter if she would talk with her about it. Her mom and I took them to the mall to get a "pedicure" from one of those girl places and we left them alone and went "shopping" until they were finished. They talked girl talk and in the conversation, the 13-year-old (who is dark headed) told my daughter how lucky she was to have blonde hair on her legs because shaving was a major pain and she wished she didn't have to do it all the time." The four of us went out to lunch after that and then went home. I didn't say anything about it and she didn't bring it up. The next day she wore shorts to school and hasn't talked about it since.

Featured Answers

Someone just recently asked that question and there were tons of answers. My 11 year old has the same issue. We read them all with all the choices - electric shaver that you can use in the shower, shavers with built in foam and Veet. I disucssed them all with her and we decided on Veet (even though several emails were concerned about the chemicals on such a young person). It was very quick and simple, but did smell a bit. Someone suggested soaking in a tub with Armor Hammer baking soda afterwards to get rid of the smell, which seemed to work. She was thrilled with the result. We did it about a month ago and the hair grew back very slow and thinner and she does not seem to be concerned about it at all now (we have not done it again). Also, we only did below the knee. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

My 13 year old daughter started shaving a couple of years ago and it was no big deal. Most people never notice that she did or didnt, but it made a HUGE difference for her!

My daughter has HUGE eyebrows (or should I say has A huge EYEBROW). She asked me to wax it at about age 8. I resisted because I felt (at the time) that doing so would send the message to her that she was not good enough as she is. A while later she came to me crying saying that people were really making fun of her, so I gave in. We now have waxing at the Brumleys every Sunday night...its kind of a ritual, with my husband, son, daughter and myself all getting it done (we are all big-browed people). None of the rest of us do it every week, but she really needs it that often. Sometimes we have family members or friends stop by for their waxing, as well...its a very well-known "date".

Not exactly the same experience, but just my .02! Good luck. :)

1 mom found this helpful

Im 32 yrs old now - (Dark brown hair - legs too) but in 5th grade a boy made fun of me (I still remember his name) I cried for days - my mom had no idea what was eating me - when she found out I was shaving that night! I say let the girl start sahving - if nothing else it will boost her self image and esteem and she will come to you more frequently with problems if she feels like you heard her!

More Answers

Don't panic L.. As you can tell from the responses this is a common fact of life.

My daughter---also 9 and blond--was teased by girls that already shaved. One evening she she came in from her bath and had bloody toilet paper wrapped from ankle to knee!!! She said "I don't know what happened, Mama. When I got out of the water I just started bleeding all over." Trying to keep from laughing, I explained that that was what happened when you shaved your legs and didn't know what you were doing. Her eyes got so big--"How did you know?" She didn't do any major damage but it sure did sting for awhile.

SO--THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS: SHE IS GONNA DO IT! First time she mentions it you take her to the store to pick out a package of disposible razors and some lotion. Show her how--make a big Mother/Daughter event of it. She will always remember.

AND--all mothers out there--please don't lie to your daughters about hair growing back faster, darker, thicker etc. It ain't gonna happen either. The hair color and texture will change over time whether we shave it or not.

Ladies, I guess mothers have agonized over the question about being old enough to shave since the first young lady borrowed her dads straight razor to shave her exposed ankles.

We all shaved and we all tried to keep our daughters from starting it!! But when you get to be 70 years old you realize it is not worth the time and energy! You will be faced with long hair, short hair, baggy pants, tight pants, colored hair etc, etc. Pick your battles carefully and prayerfully. Is this something that will damage health, education, emotional development? And, yes, sometimes fashions can damage all of the above.

Enjoy your mother hood and don't sweat the small stuff!! Hopefully you will figure out how to tell the difference.
Love and God bless you all.

5 moms found this helpful

I am 38 years old and can still remember an older boy making fun of my hairy legs, on the schoolbus! I was in 4th grade,so the same age as your daughter. I don't think I started shaving untill 6th grade when we were taught in JR High. So,I would say,teach her how to do it correctly and let her shave! There will come a day when she will hate to shave! In the winter my legs hardly ever see a razor! LOL Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

L., my dd is 10. She has been shaving her legs for several months now. In a day and age where our little girl's self images are so closely linked to their confidence, this decision was easy for me. This wasn't a battle that was worth fighting with her about. I didn't want her sneaking off and just doing it and cutting herself up trying it without support or supervision. First we tried VEET and the little plastic razor. It worked the very first time. The second time not so well, the third not at all. She got a Venus razor and she practiced until she got the hang of it. I also will tell you that she tells me that she feels prettier after having shaved. Her happiness is what makes it worth it for me. Try to enjoy the one on one time with her, maybe let her practice by letting her shave your legs. This is our foundation for when they need us to show them how to grow into the young women they want to become. Good luck Mom.

1 mom found this helpful

I think the better step to take is to sit down and talk to her about her self-image and also self-confidence. If her ideas about shaving are coming as a reaction to someone teasing her, then solving that problem by shaving is essentially saying that girl was right. You don't want to start teaching your daughter to listen to the opinion of others and make decisions based on those opinions (unless she asked for their opinion). If she is stubborn and gets upset, make sure you lovingly explain that you are the mom, you make the rules. If she only wants to wear jeans, explain that you are only going to do laundry on a regular basis, not extra, so she may have to wear her jeans more than once or twice. Or take her own money to goodwill and buy more jeans. That way, she has options to solve her problem that don't involve you solving it for her. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

My 13 year old daughter started shaving a couple of years ago and it was no big deal. Most people never notice that she did or didnt, but it made a HUGE difference for her!

My daughter has HUGE eyebrows (or should I say has A huge EYEBROW). She asked me to wax it at about age 8. I resisted because I felt (at the time) that doing so would send the message to her that she was not good enough as she is. A while later she came to me crying saying that people were really making fun of her, so I gave in. We now have waxing at the Brumleys every Sunday night...its kind of a ritual, with my husband, son, daughter and myself all getting it done (we are all big-browed people). None of the rest of us do it every week, but she really needs it that often. Sometimes we have family members or friends stop by for their waxing, as well...its a very well-known "date".

Not exactly the same experience, but just my .02! Good luck. :)

1 mom found this helpful

If it is important to her, why not? Give her an electric razor so she won't cut herself. We say no to so many things, why not let her have this one. I am blond and had someone make a comment to me like that when I was a year or two older than your daughter and it was a big deal to me, too. Sometimes I think adults forget how they felt at that age. At least your daughter confided in you. That is a good sign that she will come to you with other problems. Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi L.: I agree with Gretchen also. You and your daughter should not make such an important decision based on what some mean little girls at school said. Who gave them all the power? I try to teach my daughter that she shouldn't give her pwoer away to anyone...not mean girls at school or a boy who wants to make out with her...I try to teach my daughter that her body is sacred because it houses her soul, that she has to take good care of it because it has to last her whole life...and that NOBODY should have the power to tell her what to do with it. I don't want her self-esteem to be tied up in what some guy thinks of her...or mean girls at school.

I really think that 9 is too young to be shaving...my daughter just started shaving her legs last year at 13. Make sure that you daughter understands that this is something that has to be maintained for the rest of her life, and that the hairs won't be soft and blonde.

My daughter wore jeans all the time anyway!

Good luck!

S.

1 mom found this helpful

L.,

My daughter is 9 yrs old and has asked to shave her legs this year. She has not been made fun of yet, but I am definitely going to let her shave. Her hairs are pretty long and I can see them (even though they are blonde). Her and I are going to shave our legs together this weekend, so that I can show her how to do it properly.
I am not thrilled about it, but I don't want to give her any reason to have low self esteem or be self-concious about her body. If this can prevent embarassment for her, I will do it.

Hope this helps!
Vicki M

1 mom found this helpful

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