Night Weaning Breastfed Baby

I just wanted to mention...I got pregnant accidentally when my daughter was 12 months, who was a booby addict at the time, cosleeping, and still nursing about 3–4 times a night (and I could never sleep at night while she was nursing). I was planning on night-weaning her before the baby came, probably when she was at least 18 months old (baby is due when she's 21 months old). I have read Dr Jay Gordon's night weaning plan (http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp), which does involve crying (of course baby will resist) but crying-in-arms, never crying-alone. I was planning on only night-weaning when I got to that stage of needing it so badly. It gave me assurance that if I felt I needed to night-wean, at least I knew where to start.

However, my milk ended up disappearing pretty quickly in the pregnancy (during the first trimester) and she ended up night-weaning herself, with no tears! Just one night she started sleeping all the way through, and that was that! We now lay her in her own bed in our room, and in the morning she will come up to me in my bed and have some more nummies before getting up. We might move her out of the room before baby; we might not.

Thankfully she is still nursing now, and I'm hoping to tandem nurse when the new one arrives, as I really wanted my first-born to self-wean and nurse until at least past two. We'll see what happens, it's up to her.

So I just wanted to say that the pregnancy might bring about changes that you don't anticipate!

Good luck!

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We did this with our daughter when she was 15 months old (she's 18 months now. We managed it without kicking her out of our bed, too! What I realized is that most of her middle-of-the-night waking wasn't actually waking, and that it was MY fault she was dependent on nursing to settle back down. I'd developed a habit of sticking a nipple in her mouth as soon as she started fussing. By letting her just fuss, I learned that she wasn't fully waking up, and after 5-10 minutes (LONG minutes!), she'd settle back down on her own.

If she did fully wake up, I had a sippy cup ready. But what she wanted was "boobie" because what she wanted was comfort and closeness. So I or my husband held her.

Within 3 days, she was down to fully waking at 5:30. That was close enough to morning for me to nurse her. She was already weaned in the daytime, so we went down to nursing just in the morning and at bedtime. A month ago I stopped boobie at 5:30 and gave her a sippy cup instead. Now she sleeps through until 6:30-7:00.

The bedtime weaning is next. THAT will be the hard one.

Good luck!

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B.,

My husband and I weaned our 1 year old off of night time feeding when I got pregnant when he was 5 months old. It took us about a week. What worked for us was...For night 1 and 2 my husband went in with my pumped milk and gave it to him at the time he would normally eat. He was not really thrilled, but he is attached to daddy and so it was fine. On night 3 and 4 we put water in his cup. He was not two happy, but daddy stayed with him and rocked him and sang to him. Offering the liquid if he wanted it. For the rest of the week my husband went in if he woke up, offered the water or a snuggle/song. By the end of the week he didn't wake up (for 12 hours:-). We didn't believe in the let him keep crying, so if he was awake and upset he was being offered some other form of comfort. Also, I made the morning time really special snuggle time. I hope this helps.

Note: He will occasionally wake up during the night, especially if he is teething really bad, or his not feeling well(maybe once a month). I usually decide to breastfeed him, and he goes right down. I haven't found that he wants to revert back to wakening up at night from these rare nocturnal episodes.

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B.,
I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to say that we are going thru exactly the same thing. I was composing this request in my head yesterday, and just never got to the computer. So thank you and good luck, we are right there next to you.

Dr. Sears can be a real inspiration, but I'm sure you're reading that already. Every time we have a rough night (pretty much every night) I just look at my DD and remember how short this time is and that soon she'll be a "big girl" and I'll look back on the sleepless nights with fond memories... hopefully ;)

I would say to start limiting the amount of time she nurses, shortening the amounts by 2 minutes every couple days. For example, if she nurses now for 15 minutes before falling asleep, let her nurse for 13 and then gently scoot her up to a snuggle on your chest for the last couple. After a couple nights, let her nurse for 11 minutes, then snuggle for 4, etc.
I did a combination of this and the cry it out method, which really worked well and only took about 5 nights. We snuggled for 15 minutes and then I put her in bed, and at first she cried after putting her down, but then she realized the routine and has slept fine ever since. I understand that this doesn't fit with the attachment parenting completely, but wanted to give you my experience because yes, you will need full night sleep when you're pregnant! Attaching to dad really helps, too. Baby learns that when dad comes in she'll get lots of love and attention, but she knows he can't feed her.

Hi B.,
We had our little boy in bed with us until he was 2, then we booted him into his own bed since he had a baby sister on the way! (One of us still lies down with him in the evening to read to him and help him fall asleep.) I weaned him over a very long period of time, first stopping "morning booba", then stopping nursing outside the home; next we stopped night booba. I simply told him that the boobas were sleeping. He cried a little for maybe a couple of nights but I rubbed his back and cuddled with him and he fell back to sleep no problem. Actually I think it only took one night and after that, he actually slept much better! He didn't wake up anymore at night! I remember being amazed, having thought that it would be much more traumatic for him. So I would say just go for it; be gentle, but go for it. You may be surprised how easy it is. Our last weaning was of "lie down booba" before bed. That took a couple of days, but by that point I was 5 mos pregnant with our second and it was *painful* beyond belief for me, so I really felt that what was so bad for me couldn't be good for our relationship anyhow. By then he was 2 and 2 months. Again, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Good luck!!!

There's no way you can force your baby to wean at night if she is still sleeping with you. Either be ok with having her sleep in another space (which will take some time) or be ok with letting her night wean at her own pace.

If she is not sleeping with you, the steps would be the same as with a bottle-fed baby who is in the habit of calling for (and getting) a bottle in the middle of the night: Go in and soothe her when she cries out, tell her it is nighttime, and nighttime is for sleeping not eating. It will be hard the first night but shouldn't take too long to get her weaned.

Good luck.

I don't know if I have much advice but I was excited to see your question. My daughter turns one tomorrow and she still primarily nurses. She eats a few solids but is just such a heavy nurser. We also believe in attachment parenting and my husband and I were just saying, we need to find some more resources for attachment parenting a toddler. It was easy to feed on demand, etc. when she was a newborn but now that she's older (and I'm yearning for more sleep) how do I stick to my attachment parenting philosophies and yet, transition out of this need for nursing so frequently. I'd be curious to hear how it goes for you and if nothing else, at least you know you are not alone at 2 am, 4am, or 6am as you wake to nurse yet again! :)

My email is ____@____.com if you wouldn't mind passing along any helpful hints...

Good luck!

Patience and consistency from you is key. Maybe dad getting up a few nights when baby wakes up so you aren't tempted.

Hi. This process can be a little tricky, especially if you don't want to "cry it out." Setting aside a few days (and sleepless nights!) sounds like a good plan - have your husband do the nighttime comforting as much as possible. This can be heart wrenching for both parents, trust your instincts and each others feelings about it. Also, here's another thing to consider. I don't know if this happens w/ everyone but when I became pregnant w/ my second (and still happily breastfeeding my first) something changed w/ my milk supply and my firstborn was suddenly not as interested. I don't think we had to intentionally try to night wean at all, he just decided for himself it wasn't worth waking up for anymore. Nature seems to have a way of helping us out no matter what our efforts or intentions might be! Best of luck to you!

When I weaned my son he was 17 months old and had never slept through the night. I was a single mother living with my mom and going through a divorce (can we say bad timing?! LOL). Anyway, how I did it worked great! and in just 2 or 3 days! I completely cut him off...day and night (i felt it was best this way so not to confuse...why do i get it during day time, but not night time sort of thing). Anyway, when my son woke up and wanted to nurse, my mom was prepared with a sippy cup of water. She came into my room, held him the entire time until he fell asleep again and offered him the water (which he didn't want). I left the room and went to a place where I could not hear him crying (I would not have been able to do it if I could hear him, and I am not sure he could have either). Anyway, all it took was about 2 nights of that and he was sleeping through the night and completely weened. It went WAY BETTER than I expected it to. I was imagining it taking from 2 weeks to a month. Boy was I surprised! Goodluck with your endevor. I would suggest that your husband be at the ready to hold your little one while she goes through this and find a nice relaxing place near by, but out of earshot. Labor day sounds perfect time to me!

B.,

My husband and I were running into the same problem with my then 5 month old. I thought there was no way he needed to eat 5 times a night. We had the book "Good night, sleep tight" by Kim West recommended to us. The book does NOT promote crying it out which I was and still am against. You should check it out. You can access her website by going to www.thesleeplady.com It should point you in the right direction. Let me know how things work out. It worked for us, it took a while, but he sleeps soundly through the night and now I can say is an amazing napper.

blessings!
S.

B.,
Have you transitioned your little one to a sippy cup? My sister kept a leak proof sippy cup with milk or water in the same corner of her son's crib. When he woke up, he would take a few drinks and then go right back to sleep. She realized that her son wasnt really completely awake when he got up and the cup worked quickly for her.
I wish you lots of luck.

Good luck!!! :) I'm still breastfeeding my 19 month old and she is usually up twice during the night.... hang in there!

Hi! i weaned my son at about 15 months because he was waking up nearly every hour to nurse! talk about tired! i decided on the times i would feed him and then stuck to those till we established a routine. i do remember on night that i stood over his crib for 2 hrs, talking and patting and singing till he went back to sleep. the next night was about 45 min. and the next night was just feedings then back to sleep. when we had a routine, then i dropped one feeding a week to get him used to missing that one. then the next week dropped one more. leaving the one he seemed to need the most for last. it took about a month, but wasn't so drastic for either of us. i was engorged a bit as i weaned him. i can't stand the cry it out method! also, if you are sleeping with her, it may be harder for her to not roll over and attach! good luck! My son seemed fine with the process, i think i was the one that had a hard time giving that last bit of babyhood up!

Hi B.,
This sounds too familiar!! My first, who is now almost three years old, was still nursing lots at night (2-3 times, more during teething), and by about 14-15 months, I was completely burnt out on it. I was pregnant with baby #2, too, which I'm sure didn't help my sleep situation.
Have you read, or looked at, The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? She has so many good ideas. And nothing like crying it out, of course!! What ended up working for us was gradually pushing back the time of night when I would first nurse him...I started at midnight (wouldn't nurse him before that) and very gradually pushed it back. He responded very well, and we only had a few times of him crying. When he did cry, I'd just cuddle with him in bed (with his back to me, spooning) and he settled down pretty quickly. My hubby works nights, otherwise I would have had him do it, b/c I think that would be even more successful; hopefully you'll have that luxury!! We moved him into his own room at 18 months and lo and behold, he slept through the entire night and has ever since (with a few exceptions, of course!).
That said, he quit nursing a week after moving into his room. I'm not sure if it was the pregnancy, the termination of night nursing, the move into his own space (probably a combo of all three?). I wasn't quite prepared for it, though he was only nursing three times a day at that point. I hadn't decided whether to tandem nurse or not and I was so bummed that he'd stopped.
Baby #2 will now be a year old in less than a month and I'm so far doing alright on the night nursing! He's teething right now and nursing SO MUCH at night, but he sleeps in bed with me so I don't notice as much . So we'll see about when I'll start this whole process over :) I think I'll be taking it even slower this time though, I'd like to nurse longer and enjoy the babyhood longer :) Funny how things change!!
Good luck with your girl and getting her to be a big sister! Just remember to take it slow and catch her signs that it may be too much (b/c that's easy to remember when they're crying at 3 am, right?!). You'll be there before you know it, wondering where your baby went!

Hi B.,
I share your philosophies and though they're not always the fastest way to get somewhere, they seem to pay off, being that a baby's biology is stronger than their powers of rationale. Anyway we had to night wean at 14 months, because I was just so run down after over a year of never sleeping through the night that I was ready to snap. But of course his whole body was revolving around getting that nursing at night, he was a 2 -3 time a night nurser. So, what we did was to do our best to load him up on food during the day (doesn't really work until they are not eating at night, though), and then when he woke up, we gave him a warmed bottle of 1 oz of expressed milk mixed with 3 oz of weak chamomile tea. His sleep then stretched further and further until he was sleeping over 10 hours. That took a couple of weeks. We'd tried just holding him and not giving him anything, but he screamed and screamed (naturally, doesn't make any sense to do this cold turkey, when you think about it, he's hungry!). And then it took a loooooong time to get him back to sleep. with the milk/tea mix, it's just 15 minutes or so.
Best wishes!

I am starting to go through the same thing (except not trying to get pregnant!)..we also believe in attachement parenting. Below is a link to an article...we found it to fit the best with our beliefs of a gradual weaning process with OLDER babies...I hope this will help you too...it really helped us.

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

I'm not sure what your sleeping arrangements are but... The only way I could wean my breastfed son at night was to kick him out of my bed. I waited until he was a year old, there were a few exhausting nights but it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. Once I put him in his crib to sleep for the night, I never took him out. I would go to him and comfort him in the crib when he cried, but I always made him stay in the crib and I didn't feed him. (Like no bottles of breastmilk or sippy cups, etc). Kids that age do not need to eat at night, it's a comfort thing. So try to find a comfort object for you child, if they don't have one already. Perhaps a T-shirt that you have worn, something that smells like mom. Good luck. :)

I felt that my son needed to nurse at night until at least 18 months. However, I let him nurse at night until he was 2.5 because I didn't have any help at night. I think that many people ween at night too early, so please consider if your child is really hungry or just nursing for comfort.

You will have to enlist your husband in this effort or be prepared to be awake all night for 3-4 nights in a row. Good luck!