Night Waking and Not Going Back to Sleep - Mom Is So Tired

You sound like you are doing all the right things. At 9 mos however you are right she should be able to get to sleep by herself. I would say it is time to really let her cry it out, time it, first do 5 minutes, then then next night 10 minutes and work up from there. It is hard, very hard, I know it breaks your heart but she is in desperate need of sleep and if she isn't getting it at this age that can be a bad thing.
I wouldn't allow her skipping naps either at her age she should be getting like 15 hours total, either all at night or with naps. Lack of sleep can cause all sorts of issues in babies, growth, behavior and otherwise.
Maybe find a noise machine, they have them where you can set it so if she fusses it will go off, or a music box. Both of my kids loved having one and still do.
It will take some patience to find what it will take her to soothe herself but she cannot depend on you to go to sleep and stay asleep.
For your sanity you need the sleep too, try the gradual crying it out method. I know it is hard, but if have fed her, changed her and all that then there is no reason but habit she is continuing to wake up.

I know that it's emotionally very painful to let your baby cry when you know that you can go in and make it all better but at this point it is VERY clear that her only problem is that she hasn't developed the ability to self-soothe. I tore my heart out to do it to my son and I cried almost as long as he did the first few nights but I knew that he needed to learn this very important skill and I was in desperate need of more sleep. It took about a week for him to fully do it but after crying for a little over an hour the first night it got better each night after that until he never cried for more than ten minutes and usually not even that.

Whenever he got sick I would get up with him whenever he woke up crying and then would have to do the process all over again once he was sick but after the first time it never took more than two nights before he was sleeping through the night very well again. Now he's almost two and he sleeps from 8:30p until about 6:30a and then he gets himself out of his toddler bed and walks into our room and gets in bed with us until about 8:30a which I love because I still get all the sleep I need and I get to enjoy lying there holding him while we all sleep together for a little while too.

It is very hard but I promise that it is worth it. Just ask your husband to support you and help you hold firm. You can also try what I did, I talked to my son a lot about what was going on and such so every night until he got used to it I would talk to him about how he was getting so big and strong that it was time for him to start going to sleep by himself and that I knew it would be hard at first but that I would always be near by and that he would be much happier once he got used to it. I don't really know for sure if it helped him any but it sure helped me to feel better about it.

Good luck, my heart goes out to you.

I'm putting in another vote for The No Cry Sleep Solution. I do not support the CIO method either. For my husband and me, we found that cosleeping with our babies is what worked for all of us. (We're currently cosleeping with our fourth daughter who is 10 months old.) We transition our girls into their own bed right around their second birthday and have never had any problems. I find it's much easier to let a 2-year-old cry for a time than to let a baby cry to sleep.

Don't be worried by those who say that if you cosleep or don't let your baby CIO that you will have a child who never learns how to put herself to sleep. It simply is not true. Our girls may have fussed a little once they were in their own beds, but they were old enough to understand that it was bedtime, and they were quite good about going to sleep on their own. Also, I highly recommend The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears. It was a big help to us with our first baby because we had lots of questions as new parents, and our first baby was a fussy one. Don't worry - it gets better. Just remember to listen to your inner mommy voice about what is best for your baby.

R.,

It sounds like she is overtired. sleep begets sleep. and the reverse is true, the less sleep they get, the less they sleep. if she wakes up anything but bright eyed in the morning, she is overtired.

You guys have done a fantastic job of teaching her to fall asleep on her own. she may have some teething going on or stomach or growing or who knows what, but she probably still needs at least one nap a day. most babies are still taking two at her age, but my guess is that she would sleep better if she gets some daytime sleep. since this is a phase that will pass, i would lighten up and just try to get her back on track - drive her for a nap or let her nurse on you or a bottle to go to sleep for nap, just to get some daytime sleep in there. she is already going to sleep on her own for bedtime, it won't undo that, she knows how to do it. at night i would try having her fall asleep in her crib as she does now, then when she wakes up, do the thing you know works to get her back to sleep *FOR NOW* until she gets out of sleep deprivation mode - i would get her really quickly before she is totally awake, keep it dark, if she hasn't pooped don't change her, give her a bottle or a pacifier or walk her or whatever works, then when she's out, put her in bed with you, and you both sleep. chances are she will sleep well next to you. if you can get her back in her natural rhythm of sleep, she will go down easier and stay down better. babies go through so many phases and it's ok to change things up a little to accomodate them. this will pass and you will sleep again!!! good luck to you!

If you are not into the cry it out method, try the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It takes time and work, but it is supposed to be a good alternative to the crying.