Night Time Potty Training for 4 Year Old.

This comes up so often here it kind of makes me sad. Please understand that a child is pottied trained if they stay dry and use the toilet during the day. Night time is different. Some kids do stay dry at night from the get-go but most kids do not. Not until the age of 5-7. This is totally normal. During this time if your child wets at night it is recommended to let them wear pullups or training underwear. They should not be woken up to use the bathroom. Your son needs his sleep. Why does he need to be night trained by kindergarten? Is it an overnight program? Obviously not, and you aren't the first person to want this. I've seen this question/concern come up so often. My daughter is in kindergarten, she is 6, she wears pull ups at night. She soaks it. Doesn't matter if she stops drinking before bed or not. She is a very deep sleeper. I've talked to many Mom's in her class whose kids wear pull ups still at night. It isn't confusing for them, they aren't peeing in the pull ups just because. You cannot force them to stay dry at night, they'll stay dry when they are ready.

I don't recommend the alarm if anyone mentions it here. My Mom did this to me and I feared going to bed, I dreaded being woken up by that loud alarm, it was very scary to me.

Let it go, let him wear pull ups so he can get the rest that he needs. This will not affect him in kindergarten what-so-ever. If he is still wetting at 7, then I'd see a Dr. to rule out any health issues. Do you happen to know if anyone in your family or husbands family wet the bed? This can be passed down as well. But for now, 4 is not too old to be wetting the bed at night.
***************
added after reading a response:
Althought I haven't read all the responses yet, I have to comment on Julie L's. She is wrong. If you don't believe me, talk to your Dr., reasearch it online, whatever you need to do. I'm sure she means well, but her response is very old-school and taken from the days when we didn't have all this great and new information available at our fingertips. Plus you do not discipline a child for this!!! Your son does not know better. He is not doing this on purpose. His body just isn't ready. Seriously - what kid wants to pee themselves while they are sleeping getting their PJ's and bedding all wet. Yea, that's real comfortable.

Sorry, I guess I'm a tad passionate about this topic (-:
Best wishes,
M.

2 moms found this helpful

I have to say that I absolutely agree with Michele S. I have a 3 year old that I am trying to potty train and have no intention of night training till he is dry on his own. I wet the bed fairly often until I was about 10 years old and it was a very humiliating experience for me and completely out of my control. I simply did not wake up when I had to go. If I was punished for my accidents on top of the shame that felt, I would have been so crushed. I think its cruel to punish a child that age for not being able to do something for which they are not physically ready. Its like punishing a child for not being tall enough.
I would also never consider waking him from a deep sleep at that age. It took me so long to get him to sleep through the night, his rest is waaay more important that whether he wears a pull up at 4 years old, particularly if kindergarten is coming up. An overtired child not only does not learn well, but they are also more likely to have accidents during the day.

1 mom found this helpful

My son was a bed wetter. He was alergic to dust (all his stuffed animals which we had to get rid of), and any milk product.

Whenever he had dairy, he would wet the bed. When he stayed overnight at a friends with dust in the room, he wet the bed.

Just a thought for you to check out.

1 mom found this helpful

Thanks for posting this, J.! I loved reading the responses. I have the same issue, only my son just turned 5. I really wasn't all that concerned about it, just figured when he was ready he would be dry at night. I never wake him up to go, sometimes he wakes up on his own and goes, sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he is dry all night thru even when he didn't go at night and sometimes the pull up is full in the morning. One day I know this phase will pass! Anyway, it was nice to read all of these responses. I guess we just need to be patient and wait for their little bodies to be ready! BTW the WalMart brand "pullups" (I think they are called white cloud brand - but it is walmart brand) work just as well as name brand, that's all I've ever used and they are cheaper!)

No need to worry. My son is 6 & still needs overnight diapers. I've researched this and discussed it with our pediatrician. This is completely normal until they are at least 7. It's best not to push it because it may cause unnecessary stress. Just be patient.

I think you should know that the part of the brain that controls the bladder while sleeping is different than the one that controls it during the day. Your little one has no control over it. I wish my parents had known, because I had a problem with bed wetting until I was much older.
The best thing to do is to use Good Nites, or a sheet protector.

J.,
Thank you for posting this question. I also have a 4-year son who will be going to kindergarten in August 2009 and he is still in pull-ups at night. He's been potty trained for a year and a half now but still wakes up wet. There are some mornings when he's dry, some when he's wet, some super wet and some when the bed is wet. I worried about it too but was also told by his doctor and many mothers who have gone through this that he will just grow out of it. I am looking forward to when I don't have to buy pull ups (we also have a 2 year old in pull-ups) but for now we don't make a big deal about it. He is always dry during the day and that seems most important to us, especially since he's in preschool. He's a very deep sleeper and I just don't feel right waking him (and myself) in the middle of the night to have him go to the bathroom. You need to do what you think is best but I suggest just giving it time and most likely he'll have more and more drier mornings and eventually this will be a distant memory. Best wishes, L.

Hi J.,
I have lots of freinds with 5 and 6 year olds who are not dry at night. My pediatrician says that there is actually a physical switch that turns on that tells the brain the bladder is full and sends a wake up message. Until this switch kicks in, nothing you do will work. My suggestion is to stay with the pull ups and not worry until his pull ups start to be dry and night for a couple of weeks and then try again. This should help you all to be more relaxed and after all no one ever asks ' at what age were you dry at night?'. It is out of his and your control so don't worry about it.
I hope this helps,
C. :-)
www.guardiansleeper.com

J.,

My son is also 4 years old (07/02). I had him wearing night Pull-Ups until his 4th birthday when I put him in underwear. He has done really well, but of course has accidents...like last night. But that's to be expected. He's 4 and has a 4 year old bladder. I know other responses have said not to wake them, but I do. Every night before I go to bed I put him on the potty. I swear he sleeps right through it, just like he does when he pees the bed. I put him back in bed and he continues to sleep. I just believe that accidents will stop as he gets bigger and thank goodness for waterproof mattress covers!

I really don't think there is much you can do until they are PHYSICALLY ready. My daughter was potty trained for at least a year, if not more, before night time just "clicked". I kept her in a pull up until she had a dry pull up for a week +. I think your wasting your time and valuable sleep for you and your son to wake him up. His body needs to be ready to wake itself up when it needs to pee. I would keep him in a pull up until then.

J.,

Try having him use the potty for about 5 mins before bedtime and no liquids past 7 pm.

Also, if you hear him starting to wet or feel him starting too then wake him up or simply take him yourself to the bathroom... when he feels that cold little wind hit his skin when you pull his bottoms down usually they wake up at least half ways...

My son occassionally wets himself...and he's fully potty trained including nighttime... just a boy thing I think... sometimes he even gets up himself at nighttime stands at the side of our bed and tells me he needs to go to the bathroom. I tell him go and he runs to the bathroom and goes then comes back to bed back to hanging 1/2ways off the bed... funny thing is that I also sleep that way, 1/2ways off the bed. :-)

Also, buy yourself some of those 1/2 bed sheets that absorb that way he lays on that and the mattress doesn't suffer as much.

Good luck

C.

J.,
I wouldn't put too much stress on having him night trained before kindergarten. As long as he's doing ok during the day. I have 3 boys. My middle son is still in pull ups at age 3 and my oldest didn't get the night time thing down until he was almost 7. I wouldn't treat it as a "problem" until he's about age 6. Then you can look into something called the "Potty Pager". I worked miracles for my son in just a few weeks. But -again- I wouldn't worry about anything until your little guy is much older. Good luck.

try the "malem alarms" , they are great! best $100 i ever spent. check them out online

Hello J.,

I am the proud mother of three sons whom all started school quite normally, gave up the bottle, went "potty" at school, but waited to go "poop" at home. Thank God for pull-ups! You are doing everything right and shouldn't worry. The worst thing you can do, is "stress". Boys are just boys and they do things in their own time. Just wait until they pee on the back of the toilet seat and then decide to be polite to you..and put it down (wet thighs!!!). Don't stress about it and don't push him. Just my advice... And Sweetheart, anyone who had her "kids" trained at 17 months, simply had herself trained, not her children. Boys sleep much too soundly and "accidents" should never be cause for punishment. Pediatricians say that there is no cause for concern unless they continue bed-wetting beyond 7 to 10 years old.

You are doing fine. K.

My son is the same way! He has been potty trained since almost three. My first son was the same way, but grew out of it by 4 1/2. The doc said they just sleep too heavy., and it's not something to worry about unless the do it past te age of 6 or 7. I know puul ups are expensive, but I don't want to stress him out at night. We tried and he doesn't sleep that well!

I haven't read the other responses but this is worked for my 27 month old (potty trained for 4 weeks now). I avoid fluids 2 hours before bedtime. If she wants water or milk, then I give her a little in a cup (maybe 2 oz) and tell her it's all gone. That will usually satisfy her most nights though there are exceptions (like last night). Then I have her go to the bathroom right before bedtime. Sometimes she asks to go again ie. stalling tactic but I let her go 3 times and then put a stop to it. My daughter's bedtime is 8-830pm. I put her on the toilet around midnight. She's not really awake and I tell her to peepee for mommy and if she doesn't I make a "ssssss" sound and that usually works. This method keeps her dry until morning. Hope that helps.

Being a "laid-back" mommy to 5 kids I never "night" trained my children. They had pull-ups on until they stayed dry all night. I also didn't wake them up at night, they need their sleep so much at this age. They went potty before bedtime and slept in their pull-ups.

You have quite a while before he starts kindergarten and he will probably be finished with pull-ups by then.

Good luck!
T.

Okay... night time "control" is different than day time.
It's perfectly OKAY... at this age, that your son is still not completely "dry" at night.
MANY MANY children do not have complete dryness at night. My daughter just recently made 6 years old... she still has an occasional "accident." It's okay. It's just that sometimes she sleeps so deeply that she does not awake to go pee in the middle of the night... she says she even had a dream once that she WAS on the toilet....then she felt wet. LOL

Just put a waterproof bed pad under him... then if he has an accident, it won't soil the entire bedding. That is what we do. It's no big deal.

My daughter, still wore night time "diapers" until she was about 4-5 years old... it's okay.

The thing is, night time "control" and complete dryness will occur when the child is ready... MANY kids even in Kindergarten still wet the bed at night, and/or wear night-time diapers.... the parents just don't go around saying it to every stranger they meet. But its NORMAL.

YOu don't need to have him perfectly "potty trained" at night, if he is going to Kindergarten. The main thing is he is toilet trained and can do it in school. Your Son IS potty trained.... the night time thing is a different thing.

Don't worry. He is normal, he will be fine, he IS potty trained.
Take care,
Susan

My son had the same problem. I was told by his teacher (preschool) not to worry. Day time training is always easier and the night time training will come in time. They told me to just keep doing what I am doing. Use the bathroom before bedtime, no liquids after a certain time, and wake him up at set intervals. Gradually the night wettings got fewer and fewer then stopped. If you are truly concerned ask your doctor.

Good luck

My 8-year-old is just now starting to stay dry at night, with one wake-up to go to the bathroom (instigated by me, as she sleeps so soundly she'd never wake up on her own). Until about a month ago, she was in a pull-up every night. I've read that roughly 10% of children wet the bed until the age of 11 or 12. Our pediatrician won't even consider it a problem. I concur with the other moms who say that this may just be the way his body is and the less pressure you put on him, and yourself, the happier you all will be. He'll get there... in his own due time.

Hi J., By putting a night time pull up on him, you are telling hime it is OK to pee on himself. at 4 sweetie he knows what they are used for, and he uses them in that way. Buy a water proof mat to go under him to protect his bedding, and put underwear on him at night, also what ever your no liquids time is move it back an hour, if you have to no liquids after dinner, I did that when I first starting traing my kids, the funny thing was all 3 of our kids statred being dry in the mornings at around 17 months old, and then my second son staring wetting the bed again when my daughter was 2 weeks old, so i used discipline, and I used reward just like I did when i potty trained him. He was affraid to get up alone to go potty, so he started waking up his big brother to go with him, and then problem was solved. J. l.

Hi J.,

Our 4 year-old boy is the same as yours! Our pediatrician told me not to worry about this issue, since many boys have this problem where they sleep too soundly at night and their bodies do not allow them to wake up to pee. She said he will stop when his body is ready. She said he will just stay dry at night, and that's when we'll know to put him in underwear at nighttime. She said that if he is still wet at night at about six years of age, then it will be time to intervene (I think there are special alarm-blanket thingies you can get, etc.). So--if she's not worried about it, we've decided not to be.

:-) D.

Why are you in a hurry for him to be night time potty trained?
How would you like to be woken-up multiple times during the night? I think this is cruel treatment. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but try to see it from your child's point of view.
Children can wear nighttime pull-up for years. It's not a matter of will, but biology. The bladder has to be physically mature enough to hold it through the night. Please ask your physician if you have concerns about your son, but rest assured that he will do it when he's ready! Good luck!

I was just at our pediatrician's with our 4 year old, and asked about the same thing. The dr told me not to worry about it. Until he wakes up dry, he's not ready. And, sleep is more important at this point than not wearing a pull-up.
The dr said that many boys aren't night trained until later. And if you any of your family members have a history of bed wetting, it could be longer (not that any family member will own up to this!).
So, I say let him (and you!) sleep!
Just curious -- why would he need to be night trained for kindergarten?

Hi J.,

I think he needs more time. One day you'll wake up and he will be dry. No need to push. My oldest son night potty trained at 4, my daughter who just turned 5 still wakes up 50% of the time wet, so she's still in pull ups and my 7 year old son is in pull ups as well because he still has frequent wet mornings. They are getting to be fewer, but he is still in a pull up at night.

This is very normal, so don't worry!

I pretty much agree with all of the responses except the one about oh he knows what he is doing put a pad under him and let him go. That is not good because if he sleeps as deep as my son did all you succeed in doing is having a cold wet child with out a clue. I wnt for awhile waking my son after midnight or so because that seemed to be when he peed or there after. That was so hard mostly on me. I did everything all of the suggestions said and then more. We tried the alarm ...it didn't work. We tried no liquieds, caffene free liquids , I finally took him to th doctor (this continued past 7 ytd olf. One doctor decided that one thing he did not do was completely empty his bladder when he went to the bathroom during the day. When he worked at this it seemed to help.
Bottom line is don't sweat it and watch Michael Landon's movie about his bed wetting and you will hug your boy and love him and let him know it's ok. Thank God for pull ups. Sometimes there is an accident and there are very few children who will wet on purpose.
Love him, think about what he thinks, how he feels and NEVER compare him to any one else.