M. asks from Woodstock, GA on February 13, 2009
Night Terrors - Woodstock, GA
I'm seeking advice for dealing with my 4 year old son's night terrors. He started having them about 3 months ago. At first we thought they were just nightmares but we soon realized he isn't awake and doesn't remember anything the next day. They usually start around midnight and last for anywhere from 10 - 30 minutes. He then immediately goes back to sleep after it is over. It is torture to watch! He screams, pulls at his hair and writhes around as if he is in pain. He won't let us touch him and yells louder if we try to speak to him. We've read some articles on it and have started making bedtime a more relaxed time. I added a relaxing lavender scented plug-in to his room and we've turned down the heat so he doesn't get too hot at night. He was having them about once every 1 - 2 weeks until recently. This past week he had 2 in one night. My husband and I are an emotional wreck after going through them. I'm desperate for any ideas or recommendations. Thank you!
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S.P. answers from Charleston on February 14, 2009
I know you'll think I'm crazy but you may want to see a good family chiropractor. They can often help with sleeping issues like these especially in children. If you're in the Charleston, SC area I recommend Atlantic Coast Family Chiropractic in Summerville on Trolley Rd. She also has a website but you can also do research online about sleep and chiro, especially in kids/infants.
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B.R. answers from Atlanta on February 15, 2009
Hi M.. My daughter is only 2 but she had them really bad as well. I am pretty sure it was contributed to lack of a solid schedule. Since I've started her on a routine, it is very rare that she cries out. There's a lot of information about night terrors on the internet. I would ask the doctor to be safe. I know what you are going through. To see my daughter (and she'd sometimes open her eyes) go through a terror and feel helpless is an awful feeling. I would start with his nighttime routine and go from there. Good luck to you and your husband.
C. answers from Atlanta on February 15, 2009
M., Hi I went through the same thing with my seven year old. She started having them around three and it was soooooo hard for me and my husband. She would have one almost every week. If she were coming down with a cold she would start getting them more often. We would go into her room and she would be screaming and saying she wanted to go home. Her eyes would be wide open with fear but she would see right through us as if we were not even there. After about ten mins or so she would go back to sleep and not remember anything. She too would scream louder if you touched her. Her doctor said not to worry about it that she would out grow it by school age and he was right. When she started prek she pretty much stopped. Now she is 7 and we haven't had a one in years. It was very hard to deal with. My husband would yell at her and tell her to stop screaming, he didn't have the patience to watch her do it. Good luck, there is really nothing you can do but watch to make sure he doesn't hurt himself and then tuck him back in. Don't worry it really doesn't last forever!!! I have two other children one almost 4 and one 2 yrs and so far they don't have these terrors, I'm sooo thankful. C.
M.S. answers from Atlanta on February 15, 2009
you might think this is silly but I wouldn't dismiss it. Your son could actually be dealing with gas pains. I have a 19 month old that does the same. some nights are fine but others are just about how you describe your 4 yr. old. She would wake up (but not really awake)in the middle of the night yelling out, pulling her hair, sort of wiggling around; very distorted and seem to be in pain. I realized it was most likely gas pain when sometimes after a while she would actually pass it during the episode and then she's fine unless another hit. She deals terribly with gas at night. At one time it was REALLY bad; like every night. I guess its because she lying down and its easier to pass when she's up and about. Ive got her on lactaid milk and Ill avoid giving her any milk or foods that i know would cause gas after a certain time of night. I actually diagnosed this myself after going through it with her night after night. I noticed a couple others said something about food so I wouldn't rule it out, cause it could sound trivial.
God bless.
A.B. answers from Macon on February 16, 2009
We had then with our 3 year old boy. It was terrible. We held/hugged him tight, rocked him, talked to him and asked him to look at us and tell us if he can see us, and most importantly we prayed over him. I have heard that is is a state of sleep where they are lost between deep sleep/dreaming/etc. I prayed over him, his room, etc. They are now gone, hopefully forever. Hope this helps.
E.G. answers from Atlanta on February 14, 2009
Hey M.,
Yeah, night terrors can scare the parents as much as the children having them. They are terrible.
The best advice I ever got, though, and which worked very well for us was to institute naptime religiously. Every day. The night terrors ceased after our daughter started taking mid-day naps. My understanding is that if they do not nap mid-day, by nighttime, they are so exhausted and sleep so soundly, that a nightmare comes up, they are unable to wake themselves up.
Try this.
Good luck!
E.
S.P. answers from Charleston on February 14, 2009
I know you'll think I'm crazy but you may want to see a good family chiropractor. They can often help with sleeping issues like these especially in children. If you're in the Charleston, SC area I recommend Atlantic Coast Family Chiropractic in Summerville on Trolley Rd. She also has a website but you can also do research online about sleep and chiro, especially in kids/infants.
B.P. answers from Atlanta on February 16, 2009
My parents had 5 children, with the youngest arriving later in their life. When my sister arrived, I had been the baby of the family for 10 years, so as you can imagine, I was a bit jealous!
I mention the age difference to show you how much older all of us were to my sister. When she turned about 6 years old she started having these night terrors. At the time we had no idea what was going on. I remember the first one vividly as it scared my sister and I into tears.
My parents were sleeping, as was my youngest sister Maria. At some point we heard her crying in her room. My older sister and I went in to check on her and what we found, we thought was a very distraught, awake, and afraid little 6 year old little girl. Her eyes were wide open, she was partially responsive but when she would talk it wouldn't make any sense. It was nearly Christmas as we had a large Christmas Tree in our living room. My sister and I tried to sort out what was going on but when we would try and touch our sister to calm her she would become violent.
We eventually began crying and realized that we needed our parents help. My sister ran to wake up my mom while I stayed with my sister. She eventually got out of bed and headed to the living room. My mom came up and found my sister appearing to be wide awake but behaving very strange and saying things that didn't make any sense. By this time all three of us were in tears and afraid. My mom got a hold of my sister, who started struggling to get away from her and she sat on the couch with my sister in front of her. She wrapped her arms around her and upper body and her legs around my sisters so that she wouldn't be able to hurt anyone or herself and she prayed outloud while rocking my sister to try and calm her and then she started singing to her. She sang Jesus loves me over and over until my sister was calm again. I remember this event as is if it happened yesterday because it was very traumatic to all of us. My mom sat there and rocked her and tearfully sang to her until she was able to get Maria on her lap and relaxed and then my mom and my sister and I prayed over her for peaceful sleep and then we put her back to bed. We stayed in her room for about 30 minutes to make sure she would be ok and then the next morning she had no memory of what had happened.
She eventually grew out of these after a few years but they were terrifying and disturbing. Her pediatrician explained what these were to us so we finally understood what was going on.
We learned to allow her to go through what was happening and that by our praying and singing to her she would settle down quite quickly. We learned to try and not wake her and to just make sure she wasn't hurting herself. She loved the song 'Jesus Loves Me' so we would sing that to her and we say a prayer and only when she would try and get up and wander around the house or her room would we intervene and hold her. Otherwise we just watched what was going on and our singing seemed to pull her out of what was happening.
I do feel bad for what you and your husband are going through because I've been there and I know how traumatic and emotional it can be. I hope that your son too grows out of these as my sister did, but in the meantime you just have to try things to see if any of them seem to help like the praying and singing we would do for my sister. We sing in a very soft tone to her and it was her favorite song so I'm not sure if that is why it had a positive effect on her during her night terrors or not.
There were times that it seemed to agitate her but we just kept singing and she eventually settled herself.
All I can suggest is that you make sure your son isn't in a position where he can hurt himself or others and as long as he's safe all you can really do is monitor the situation and if you find peace in prayers I suggest you say a prayer outloud asking for your son's comfort and peace while he sleeps and you can try singing to him. It may work for him as it did for my young sister. I don't recommend trying to hold him until he's settled himself down unless you need to in order to protect him from himself or to protect others in your home. They can get violent if they feel threatened so this is why we learned to just let her work through it.
Good luck, and if you need any other information or have any questions you're welcome to message me privately.
Now that I am a mother of a 7 year old boy of my own I can only imagine having to go through this again but having it be my child rather then my sister. I do understand the position you are in as a parent and how desperate you feel not being able to fix this for your child but just know that most children do grow out of these.
One more thing, before we would put my sister to bed at night we would have her take a long relaxing bath and then we would pray with her before she would go to sleep and pray for peaceful dreams and for God's calming grace to stay with her throughout the night. This praying made a difference to us. It made us feel comforted and protected in a way. If you and your family pray then I suggest you pray together at night when you put your son to bed. Also ask for the strength and knowledge to help your child through these and for God's comfort and emotional strength. You will be surprised how those prayers help you through this.
I wish you and your family the best while you work through this.
Regards,
BP
S.G. answers from Savannah on February 14, 2009
There really isn't anything you can do but watch him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. My daughter used to have them and would scare the life out of me! She would look at me but it was like she was looking right throuh me, she wouldn't reconize me either!! The was a time when she had 2 or more a week for a few weeks and then they stopped all together. Now she is 8 and she sleep walks and talks when she does it! Crazy things that make no sense and she doesn't remember it in the morning. Now my 2yr old (3 in May) I think had one last week. It was short lived and mild but it I'm pretty sure that's what it was. Hubby delt with him and he said it was like he wasn't even there helping him go potty and he seemed very aggitated too.
Just keep your son safe during them and don't try to wake him either. It's something that they out grow after a while. Some kids have them, some don't and some have them a lot compared to others.
Good luck!
S.
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