M.B. asks from Kaukauna, WI on March 21, 2008
Newborn Not Taking Bottle from Dad
I'm breastfeeding my son and during my first two weeks I was very engorged and needless to say I have plenty of milk stored up. When my husband tries to give my son a bottle he will not take it from him. My mom, sisters and my aunt have all feed him with a bottle and he has taken it just fine from them. My husband does work some long hours and some days he doesn't get the extra bonding time with him. Has anyone else gone through this with your kids? It would be nice to get a few extra hours of sleep some night before his next feeding and it's also making my husband frustrated afterwards.
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L.S. answers from Davenport on March 24, 2008
Maybe he could try holding the baby on his bear chest so that the infant can get to know him. Just holding the baby with their skin in contact with each other. It may take a few trys but don't give up. I know this type of bonding has worked for my son-in-law and daughter. Not that they had any problems but they had twins and they are close to mommy and daddy.
S.G. answers from Rapid City on March 24, 2008
If he is taking the bottle from other people, grandma, aunt and such and not daddy, it could be the way dad is holding him. Women also tend to have more softness to them, so try laying him on a pillow on dad's lap, it could be just that simple. If dad is uncomfortable with it at all, he could be picking that up also.
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B.P. answers from Rapid City on March 24, 2008
I found that sometimes babies are used to the smell of mom so maybe try having your husband put a shirt of yours that you have worn that day between him and baby when he tries to feed him. I found this to work when I watch friends new babies that are new to the bottle and are breastfed. good Luck
M.S. answers from Des Moines on March 24, 2008
I had the same problem. Someone had suggested to me to have my husband use the boppy, and it worked. Sometimes they need that extra cusion that we have...:) Also it is frustrating for your husband, but try to have him relax while giving the bottle. Your baby is probably picking up on the nerves that your husband has. Another thing that might do the trick is to have one of your shirts (not washed)used as a blanket while dad is feeding for a few times for the smell for your baby. Good luck and hope this helps..
S.S. answers from Dubuque on March 24, 2008
First I would have your husband sit right next to you while you nurse/give the bottle and have him talk gently to his son with lots of eye contact and do the burpings. This way your son will associate his dad with pleasant feedings.
If there is a chair/couch/spot you do most of your feedings, have your husband sit there and show him how you hold your son during feedings. Try to replicate everything as much as possible. It might work to nurse for few minutes first (so the baby isn't extremely hungry and more relaxed), try burping and then switch to bottle with your husband. I have also heard of the person with the bottle placing one of the mother's shirts or robes with their scent on it across their chest to maybe 'fool' the baby by scent that it's the mother holding them.
I hope you find something that helps. We needs those little breaks!
S.J. answers from St. Cloud on March 24, 2008
Try having him wear something you have worn that has your scent on it. Maybe it is a deodorant or a scent your husband wears that doesn't make him want to eat. Just a suggestion... good luck and congratulations.
S.G. answers from Rapid City on March 24, 2008
If he is taking the bottle from other people, grandma, aunt and such and not daddy, it could be the way dad is holding him. Women also tend to have more softness to them, so try laying him on a pillow on dad's lap, it could be just that simple. If dad is uncomfortable with it at all, he could be picking that up also.
A.R. answers from Minneapolis on March 24, 2008
Try swaddling your baby when you give him to dad. Dad's can have the tendency to freeze up when they hold their babies - the baby feels so small. Babies can sense this and are restless.
Take a receiving blanket, or even two, laying him across the long fold. Wrap up from the bottom and then right to left, so he is snuggled into his own cuccoon (sp?). This will give the baby something comfortable to rest in while he feeds. You may want to swaddle him at other times so that he gets to enjoy it even more. Swaddling a baby is great for setting them down once they fall asleep too because their arms and legs don't flop open causing them to startle and wake.
L.S. answers from Davenport on March 24, 2008
Maybe he could try holding the baby on his bear chest so that the infant can get to know him. Just holding the baby with their skin in contact with each other. It may take a few trys but don't give up. I know this type of bonding has worked for my son-in-law and daughter. Not that they had any problems but they had twins and they are close to mommy and daddy.
K.W. answers from Minneapolis on March 24, 2008
For the longest time my boyfriend was not able to bottle feed our daughter either. He finally was able to if he would put her in the bouncey seat with the vibrations on. It took months before he was able to hold her to feed her a bottle. Good luck.
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