12 answers

Newborn Not Seeming to Thrive

I was not jumping to conclusions or making assumptions about this newborn not thriving. It is weak. Sleeps nonstop, all day without waking, doesn't even move its head when the diaper is being changed. I was with this newborn all day and saw his typical day. I was not making trouble by asking for some other peoples' experiences with newborn feeding. I was just very concerned about this 7 week old and his weak and lithless way. I wish I had minded my own business and not gotten involved.

Shannon N upset me by implying that I was jumping to conclusions and making assumptions. I was already upset with this situation because the mother of this baby was heavy before she had this baby and decided that she wanted to be a thin mother and decided to go on a diet while she was pregnant and didn't eat and LOST 65 pounds. I couldn't believe this and at the time told the girl and her mother that I didn't think it was advised that people should diet while pregnant. They got upset with me.

Then Sunday I spent 12 hours at their house for an allday baby shower and saw that this baby is not thriving. They said that they don't want the baby to get big and fat. I am thinking that they need some help in feeding this baby enough so that it will thrive. It is lifeless and weak. I am going to phone the girl and her mother tomorrow and tell them that I am afraid the baby is weak and not thriving. I am only thinking of the baby. Thank you all for your concerned, caring responses for letting me know about your experiences so that I have some more information about feeding newborns. I know I never worried if my 6 week old was getting too fat.

I will let you know how the baby is doing.

What can I do next?

More Answers

This posting made me tear up. Every six hours? Are you kidding me? School age children don't go six hours without food - but a newborn needs a bottle about every three hours during the daytime and THE ABILITY TO EAT ON DEMAND! Of course it's not growing if it's on such a horrifying schedule. Is the baby just given a pacifier? Some babies are seemingly "content to starve" with something to suck on all the time, and the parents need to intervene.

2 moms found this helpful

Not enough food!! This baby needs help.

1 mom found this helpful

Wow, my little one was eating every 2.5 hrs, and we were giving her 4ounces, then as she got older we increased her to 6ounces. People like this irritate me, when my daughter was an infant I knew her cries, i knew when she was hungry. And if she was hungry I fed her. I was not one of these crazy mothers who look at the clock and say nope you have 10 min before you can have a bottle. I mean what is that? A control thing, or do they just like to see a baby cry????? Plus this baby is 6wks and only gained a pound and a half??? That is not normal, I agree with the other moms, someone has to intervene. Is this their first child? Who advised them to feed their baby like this? Usually in the hospital the nurses tell a new mother how much the baby should be eating and how often. For me, it just came naturally. I new what was good for my baby, and especially that young they say to feed on demand. You do not hear of too many mothers who are limiting their babies intake on food its usually mothers who are worried their babies are not eating enough!!! If this continues get someone else involved!! Let us all know what happens. God bless that baby!!

1 mom found this helpful

They are starving that baby to death, and the baby is going to end up mortally ill or dead shortly unless you intervene. You need to call social services IMMEDIATELY. Please make the call. If you don't, that baby is probably going to die.

Although 28 ounces a day might be enough for an 8 week old, their poor little tummies need to have food in them much more often, about every three hours if formula fed. Dehydration is a huge risk.

1 mom found this helpful

If they were offended at your suggestion, I do agree that you need to call someone about this situation - perhaps their pediatrician? Babies need to eat ON DEMAND - when they're hungry, for as long as they want/need. THEY decide when they're done/full, NOT THE PARENTS!!!

GOOD LUCK with this, I hope you can get that baby some help!

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter was breast feed so I'm not sure the exact amount she ate, but all I know is that she was eating every two to three hours. My friends son was kind of like your friends child though. He was content to eat every 5 hours. I really think every baby is different. The only good thing is that when babies are that young they go to the doctor often so the babies doctor will be able to see if their child is not getting enough nutrients. It's nice to see your concern and when you mentioned it to them don't take it to heart that they got offended- I'm sure you can remember how emotional you are months after having a baby and for your parenting to be questioned can make even the nicest person go on defense.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Valli,
This is a touchy issue with friends who may feel that you are butting in. If you know that they are diligent about taking the baby to well-baby visits, I'm sure the ped. will catch it, but if not, then you've got it on your conscience to make sure that either they take the baby to the doctor or you call DSS. If the baby was growing and thriving, that's one thing, since all babies are different with schedules, but this baby has hardly even gained anything! You could certainly approach your friend and let her know that you are really concerned and not just trying to butt in, but also that you feel you have a responsibility to her baby. Give her the chance to do the right thing before making the choice to call Social Services. I'm a mom of 6, and all my babies were way over this weight by 6 weeks, even my smaller ones, and none of them went longer than four hours without eating. Although I've heard that formula takes longer to digest than breastmilk. But still, the real issue is whether the baby is thriving, and it doesn't sound like this baby is. Maybe you should hook your friend up with this site, and show her the posts, or even have her post it herself. Might make a difference, knowing it's not just coming from you.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Valli,
Usually, new babies eat every 2-3 hrs. Where did they get this idea from anyway? Seems way too long in between feedings, regardless of how much the baby is eating. They aren't supposed to wait that long in between, even at night when they are this young. Sorry but, definately something wrong with this picture! There is such a thing as physical neglect....my opinion, :(.

1 mom found this helpful

these parents need help. the baby need to eat every 2 to 4 hrs.. i breastfed my son every 2 at that ages... so it look like ur friend s baby is bottle feed... normally 4 oz every 3 hrs? i may be wrong? mm
call for help. poor that newborn. contact ur friend's parents and maybe they can help ur friends. if not then step up to big help.

1 mom found this helpful

No, that does not seem any where near enough to me. Have you noticed if the baby cries more often than that to be fed and is just ignored? I think, usually babies eat about every 4 hours or so when they're little. My 1 year old still eats like a pig. Pay attention, discreetly, and see if they take him/her to it's next well child appt. If they're actually going to the appts like they're supposed to be then the doctor will definately pick up on this issue, believe me. If they fail to make their appts and the baby still doesn't seem to be doing well then you may have to make a tough decision to make, whether to call child protective or not, before it is too late for the child.

1 mom found this helpful

Guess what your instincts are most likly correct, if your the mother of 3 and you know pretty much how they act and what the are doing in a round about way. I have been telling my friend who is the Aunt of a baby who is 12 lbs and he looks lost!! He was born in August of 2007 and he can hardly pick up his head and his muscle movements are so strange to me. I know in my heart there is something wrong and I know my gut is right. Stick to your gut because you could be saving a life of someone who never asked to be here and could have a chance later to be someone someday. Good Luck, this is a messy one!

Every baby is different. This child is eating 7oz in a sitting. He may not be hungry as quickly as others. DO NOT jump to conclusions! Are you around all day long to observe what happens when he cries? When he fusses? Does he fuss? Do you know if this 6 hr between feedings is the parents doing or do they feed him IF he gets hungry before then. That's what you need to know before making ANY assumptions. I have 2 children, both were very different eaters. One would eat every 3-4 hrs, the other every 5 or so, depended when the growth spurt was, how much they ate previously, etc.

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