May 07, 2009,
K.G. asks from Dallas, TX on May 05, 2009
Newborn Not Happy Unless Eating or Sleeping
Ok, i'm the proud new mom of a now five week old. she's adorable. however, unlike my older two kids, new daughter is rarely "happy" unless eating or sleeping. she doesn't like to sit in a baby chair (bouncer-i have a nice boppy one that looks so comfy!) or just in her crib or the car seat...what baby doesn't like a ride in the car? anyway, to sum it up, she gives me very little time to get things done b/c i have to hold her all the time...and she's not even that crazy about just being held unless it leads to falling asleep. i feel like she's nursing too often b/c i resort to feeding her just to get her calmed down. she crys like crazy when i try to put her down for a while to just "be". she does spend a little more time in the swing (it goes side to side or back and forth) but that usually is if she feels like sleeping too! so, i'm curious...i've been wondering if she is very gassy but even baby gas medicine doesn't seem to have made a difference. has anyone had the same experience and found a remedy for it? i've got alot of stuff i need to do and though i know she's still newborn and i'm lucky enough to be a stay at home mom with all the time just to hold and soothe her i worry that nursing her a lot (since that or rocking her to sleep ((which messes up bedtime sleep)) are the only thigns to do with her) are not a good idea. besides, i have two older children that need attention too. homework, sporting events ---i need to be able to help with that AND go to those thigns! I guess i'm mostly worried that her cries are b/c of tummy pain/discomfort or that she just needs something....i don't know. my first baby was soooo easy, the second was not as much but he for sure was more happy than third...i haven't had to make dinner much since the baby came (thank you mothers club dinners!) but i wonder how i'll manage b/c this baby will never sit in a high chair or otherwise while i cook! help!!! advice please!
A.M. answers from Dallas on May 07, 2009
Two suggestions, try a Moby wrap. It saved my life with the birth of my second son. It stopped his crying and gave me hands to take care of my older son with!
My second suggestion is to look into silent reflux. My first son cryed nonstop unless being nursed, and then we found out about the reflux. Once he was on meds he was able to be happy when not being held or nursed.
A. answers from Dallas on May 06, 2009
Well, that was my first daughter, and for her it was that she was hungry!! I kept going to the pedi (but only seeing the lactation consultant) for weigh ins since I was concerned about her eating. I felt like I was feeding her all the time, and you can forget putting her down! But, her latch was perfect, and the consultant told me she was gaining weight. At 6 weeks (I swear 4 kids later, I will never forget this day) my actual pedi called me on her way to the airport,and said to give the baby a bottle immediately. While she was gaining weight, it was not enough...her birth percentiles were both in the 90's, but by 6 weeks, her height was in the 95%, while we weight was in the 25%. I gave her formula (she drank about 7 oz) then she smiled for the first time. I, of course, was sobbing but whatever! She laid down to play on her mat for the first time, and stayed happy for 3 hours! YEP!! 3 whole beautiful hours. I learned that I have a thyroid problem, that came on after her birth, that affected my milk supply. I know some babies are fussier than others, but I would at least give it a try to see if it helps in the end. I wish you luck, hopefully yours will resolve as quickly as mine did! ~A.~
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S.B. answers from Dallas on May 06, 2009
Ohh I can relate to this post!!! This sounds exactly like our daughter. And there was nothing wrong with her (and I was SURE she had colic, or gas or something!!!)...she was just a needy baby. She used me to soothe (and wouldn't take a pacifier!!).She didn't like the car, the bouncy chair or her swing. A high chair? Forget it!
When I was frantic about getting things done, like cooking dinner, my Pedi reminded me that if all of her needs have been met - changed, burped and fed...then sometimes it's okay to let her cry. So there were a few times, she just had to tough it out a little. It broke my heart, but I also have a three year old to look after. My pediatrician also reminded me that it is impossible to spoil a newborn, so if I was happy holding her 24/7 I shouldn't feel like I was "ruining" her or starting bad habits.
I had a baby bjorn, but I also added a sling to the mix. She liked the sling better because it was more comfortable, but times where I would be bending over a lot (like the grocery store) I put her in the bjorn. These were helpful. She would often fall asleep in the sling and I could get a lot done. I am amazed at how much I can now accomplish in a mere 15 minutes. Then when my daughter was two months old, my neighbor suggested I give the papasan chair a shot and let me borrow hers before I bought one...it worked immediately. I got on craigslist that afternoon and picked one up later that evening. It was a life saver!
Around three months of age I was close to my wits end, because except for naps and the papasan chair (for 10 -15 minutes), she wanted mama. I thought the neediness would never end. But my pediatrician suggested I put her on a baby circuit...put her in the papasan chair since she lasted the longest there, and when she got fussy hold her a bit and move on to the bouncy chair. Keep her there for as long as she's happy (in the beginning it was less than 5 minutes). When she gets fussy hold her a bit and then move her to the swing...etc, etc. I obviously didn't do this all day, but just a while after her afternoon nap, so I could cook dinner. And eventually, it worked.
Now she is six months old and most days are pretty good.
Good luck! Hang in there mama!
J.H. answers from Amarillo on May 06, 2009
Sounds like she is useing you for a pacifyer. Have you tried getting her one. I'm not for sticking one of thoses in their mouth when they are content, but in your casse it sounds llike she needs one. And also I'm wondering if she may be hungry? Have you tried giving her rice cereal or someting when she seems to want to eat too soon? Also the new swadling baby holders that the baby is next to you but your arms are free may help some. If you think she may be gasy, do you eat beans a lot or chocolate? Sometimes what we eat while nursing effects the babies tummy. If she likes the swing sometimes, I'd use it a lot. I knew of a mother that just put hers in the swing when she thought it nap time just to get a couple hours of free time, as her baby would go to sleep in it, and then sleep quite awhile. I'm sure as she gets a little older she won't just sleep and eat without fussing. But usually if they see you doing something , like in their seat, they will be content for a bit anyway, and if she cries just a little it won't hurt, even though I know it will be hard to let her. I hope some of this helps. Maybe the 12 year old could hold her a bit if you knew she couldn't be sleepy or hungry, while you get supper, then maybe you'd be free to spend time with the 12 year old after . I don't mean for the 12 year old to have to do this all the time, just for a break knowing that then they would be with you .
J.R. answers from Dallas on May 06, 2009
Congrats your new baby! I agree with the last post about the sling. That will probably help a lot. Something that really helped with my daughter was the Prince Lionheart Slumber Bear. You can get it at Babies R Us. Since your daughter mainly likes to be held, as did mine, she may like the bear. It just goes in the crib (but I'm sure you could put it in the swing with her) and it has the sound of a heartbeat from inside the womb. I noticed a difference right away but after a few naps or nights with it my daughter was much happier on her own.
Also, there are some Highland's Colic Tablets that you can get at most grocery stores that also helped, and still helps, my daughter when she gets really worked up. You can use them to soothe just about whenever. I hold one against the inside of her cheek with my finger until it dissolves and do it on each side. My friend has something called Colic Calm that she ordered online at www.coliccalm.com that she swears by. Even if yours isn't really colic, it may help when she gets worked up.
They're still so new at that age and they're still just getting adjusted to the world. Some babies just need more of your attention, not that we don't enjoy every minute with them but I totally understand having to actually get things done. :) Good Luck!
C.T. answers from Dallas on May 06, 2009
My first son was a breeze, but I didn't realize it until my second came along. He cried unless I held him or fed him for the first 3 months of his life. I used the bouncy seat and the swing, but nothing helped like the sling my mom bought me. I just put him in and did what I could while he was in there. After he got older and could sit on his own and play the problem disappeared. Good luck and congratulations!
M.A. answers from Dallas on May 06, 2009
All I can say is that you got lucky with your first 2. My baby was just like this 3rd one that you are describing. I doubt there is any actual problem with her stomach or anything, but just as a precaution, you ought to give her Mylicon drops at every feeding. They are absolutely harmless and help a ton if gas is the problem. Otherwise, I am sure there is nothing wrong, you just finally got "one of those" babies. You need to get a sling and put her in that when you need to get stuff done. She can sleep in it and she will be up against you and will probably sleep longer that way. You can put her in it 15 minutes before you need to begin making dinner, walk around for a while to put her to sleep and then begin making dinner. You may even be able to get it on the table and eat it before she wakes up and even if she won't sleep in it, she will most likely be very happy in it. I would go for the Hotsling brand that is sold at Target! They sell it in various sizes to fit the mom.