New Pre-school

B.,

I have a 3 year old that is somewhat shy and she started at a new daycare Monday after being with the same sitter since 6 weeks. I took her by there one day last week so she could look around and meet her teacher. That got her excited about going and it seemed to make a difference when I dropped her off on Monday. It was a good sign that she didn't want to leave at the end of the day! So, my suggestion is to take her to the new daycare this week for a visit and so she can meet her teacher. That way, she has seen it and will be looking forward to going back.

Good luck!

If you haven't already, take her to visit the new school and meet her new teachers and classmates. Any preschool should be more than happy to let you hang out in the room for 15-30 minutes so she can see what's happening in there and check out the new toys, etc. Try to go in the morning, when all the kids are there and are having "circle time" or some other fun activity. Seeing the classroom in the dark at naptime or while everyone is eating lunch is not a lot of fun for a kid.

Talk to her about how much fun she will have at the new school and the things she will do and learn ("You're so lucky that you have that train in your new classroom, that big slide on the playground, you get to eat lunch on the red table, sing that fun song", etc.) If she needs anything new for the new school, talk to her about how much fun it will be to use the new lunch box, nap mat, etc.

Beyond all this, just relax and know that you've made the best decision for her. Stay upbeat about the new school, and make sure she understands that you will be back later. My daughter started a new preschool last year after being in the same day care since infancy. On the first day, I was prepared for tears (from both of us) and clinginess, but she was so excited when we got there she ran off and shouted "BYE, Mom!" from across the room. I had my own personal breakdown in the car, but I felt a lot better knowing that she was comfortable there and was having fun.

I can completely understand your worry. But try to remember she will pick up on your feelings. Try to be up beat and excited. This is a new phase for her and exciting. she'll be meeting new friends, doing new activities. Just be positive and she will be excited also.

children are a lot more flexible than we realize. Don't treat it like it is something "different" and she will adjust just fine. Kids are naturally outgoing and will gravitate towards new friends easily at this age. Momma on the other hand sounds like she may need time to adjust. :-)

Hi B., I have 2 1/2 yr old twins and a 4yr old and we just went through the same thing...we moved to Keller and the hour long commute to their old daycare in Arlington was killing us. So they started at the new place last week and they are doing fine. It was rough the first few days, but I tried to make it as familiar as possible by keeping many things the same. For example: this new daycare provides nap mats and a sheet to put on it. Well I asked that my boys be allowed to bring in their own roll up nap mats that they were used to at their other daycare. Its a roll up pillow, blanket combo that has their names on it and its what they are used to. So we did that...then they said that you could only bring what would fit in this little cubbie box, well I have 3 boys and there is no way I can carry around all their stuff each week, like change of clothes, toothbrush/toothpaste, sunscreen, etc...so they each have their own little backpack bags that they used at their old school that they would carry themselves and made them feel like big boys. So I got permission for them to be able to bring their own bags that they are used to and hang them on a hook in the classroom since they dont' fit in the little cubbies. So stuff like that has really helped because its stuff that is familiar to them. This morning when I walked them in and sat them down for breakfast the twins both waved at me and said "bye Mama" it about broke my heart but at the same time it made me happy that they are adapting to their new school. So hang in there, it will work out! J.

I have a Home Day Care and I know that most children will carry on while that parent is there and as soon as they are at the car and not even out to the street they quit. All you can do for her better is not hang around with over and over I will be back. Say a sweet good by and assure her you will be back and leave. She will adjust. It is the same for children as it is for adults. New situations we feel sort of out of place but if a director can introduce her to something new right away an the new playmates and keep watch that she is a very important part of this school she will be fine. I was shy all my life until I was ready years ago "Why would God make us Shy," I found out from that day forward to be outgoing. Some times children do not have the skills to know what to say to others as adults do. So we have to teach them. How to introduce themselves and how to care and how to be polite and how to learn that the other person is important and we do what ever to make others important. It is not all about us. She will be fine and just keep telling your children are special and they can if they think they can. G. W

Visit the school and meet the teacher before the first day. If you are excited she will pick up on that. Kids adjust to new situations much better than we do and she will be fine :) Also......I have worked in our church nursery for years and I can tell you from experience that when you drop her off the first day, kiss her, tell her goodbye and leave. If you linger because she seems unsure or if she cries this will make it much harder and she will think if she cries everyday that you will stay. 99% of kids stop crying when the parent leaves and start playing.

I totally understand how you feel and think you have received good advice about visiting the school. My daughter is moving up to the 2 year old room on Monday (in the same daycare). But, the room is in a completely different area of the daycare. Our daycare does a "meet the teacher" on Saturday and so we will go to that and spend some time visting in the room and the play area that is part of the 2 year old environment. You may want to check and see if your new daycare does any kind of open house at the start of the Fall season. My daycare is also an elementary school and for the elementary school the open house is on Friday. So, we are taking my son on Friday and my daughter on Saturday. For us, it is well worth it to take the time to show them the new environment. THEN, don't worry about it on Monday morning. Drop her off and be gone. She'll adjust very quickly - especially because the new place will have new/fun toys.

-L.

Hi B.,

I've taught at a preschool and currently at a day care where I'm with 1-2 year olds half the time. The best thing is just share briefly anything the teacher might need to know such as if she is allergic to anything, etc. and then just leave. If you stay any longer, it will be harder on her and you, plus she will think that is part of the routine. I still have kids that I've had for over a year that every once in a while will cry when their parent leaves. She will be ok after a little while. I had a little girl start Monday and she is adjusting wonderfully. Your daughter will adjust and she needs to get use to change. As she gets older and starts school, she will have to change from elementary, to junior high, then high school. So it is best for her to get use to change now so she will better adapt as she gets older. If you have any further questions please feel free to email me at ____@____.com.

S.

Go visit the school if possible and just walk around and talk about the surroundings, meet the teacher ahead of time so she'll have a face in mind when you talk about it over the weekend.

Convienience is important for the family and worth the change. Generally after the first 3 weeks your kiddo will settle into the new school completely.

Message me privately and I'll share the dirt where to go and where not to go.

My daughter is 4. She started at one preschool when she was 8 weeks old and then we moved her when she was two. We just moved her once more this past February to a better place where she will now stay. With both moves, I think it was harder on me than her. I had full blown 'mommy guilt' because I was taking her away from her friends and routine she had been accustomed to and throwing her into a strange place and routine with unfamiliar faces. It was a little h*** o* her the first couple of weeks and, to be honest, there were several mornings I left her screaming while I tried to fight my own tears until I could make it to the car. The good news is that she eventually adjusted and has been doing great! I think the best advice I can offer is to just encourage her, 'appear' happy and excited about the new school, toys, friends, teachers, etc. Just keep telling her that it will be a good day, it will get better and better and that you will always be back to pick her up at the end of the day. Before you know it, you will both be in your new routine and you'll find yourself walking out with a smile. Good luck, take a deep breath and hang in there. :)

Do you have an opportunity to bring her to the school to visit this week just to prepare her for next week? If so, I would bring her to the room to meet the teachers and stay for a little a bit to look around the room at the toys, etc. At this age advance planning is critical. I have a two year old as well and everything always works out better when we talk about what is going to happen in advance. Also, I would bring her to school earlier that first morning so that you can sit with her a bit to ease into the transition. Look around together at all of the toys, etc I wouldn't just drop her off and leave the first day. By the second or third day, I would give hugs and kisses and leave to not linger. Sometimes that makes it worse. It most likely will take a week or two to transition. However, I know she will adjust and preparing her in advance as much as possible is the best thing that you do.