New Boyfriend Wants to Adopt Once We Marry

A friend of mine went through this last summer. Her daughter's biological father had never seen her daughter, never been a part of their lives at all. When she married, they went through the process of having her husband adopt her daughter. They did have to track him down to give him the option of signing over his rights or contesting it. He didn't show up to the first court date, so they were granted the adoption and his rights were terminated. However, he was given 30 days to contest it and request a new court date, which he did. In court, since it was proven that he knew about the baby and never made any attempt at being a father toward her (monetarily or otherwise) his rights were terminated for good and the adoption went through. His name was not on the birth certificate, by the way. I would recommend talking to a family lawyer, which is what my friend had to do. They can give you all the information you need. Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful

i dont think you would need the father to sign over rights b/c he is not on the birth certificate. if he came forward, petitioned for a dna test, etc. to prove he's the dad then of course you would. but it doesnt sound like that would even happen.

good luck w/ everything

Get an ADOPTION attorney, not a general practice attorney. Adoption law is very specialized and the laws regarding parental notification and waiver of parental rights varies from state to state. If your son was born in Texas, and the birth father was residing in Texas at the time, you may luck out, because there is an opt-in registry for this state. However, if your son was born out of state and/or the birth father was residing out of state at the time your son was born, then other factors come into play.

well I can tell you what my son went thru & was very simple, & a lawyer told him about it. said he knew my son didn't have alot of money, which adoption would be. cause if you tell them, you have to contact real father. but if there is no name on birth certificate, go back to county where your son was born & have bioyfriend's name put on it & lawyer said was just as legal as anything if you both were on board about it. cost is about 15.00 handling.

Speak with an attorney. I believe you can run an ad in a newspaper for so many days & if he doesn't respond within a certain amount of time then you should be free & clear for your husband to adopt. A friend of mine went through this a couple of years ago. Good luck & good for you finding a good man that wants to raise your child as his own!
God Bless
H. B

With no father listed on the birth certificate I don't think he would have to adopt your son. I think you might could apply for an amended birth certificate and add his name to it and possibly change the child's last name if you should want to do that. As for a custody battle if there's a divorce AFTER an official adoption or the like, that could happen even without doing anything legal to make him "daddy." I have heard of sticky custody battles with similar situations.

if your son's father didn't sign the birth certificate, and he has your name then your boyfriend should be able to adopt your son.

If he isn't on the birth certificate then he has no rights. I didn't put my son's dad on his for many reasons, and one of the main reasons was so he didn't have rights. Think very carfully before going through on adoption. Think down the road. You want to make sure your not fighting for custody later on in yall's marriage.

Hi K.,
I'm sorry I don't have any great knowledge on this subject, but I would think that the biological father needs to sign over his parental rights first. Or once you & your boyfriend marry , he could do a step-parent adoption.
Sorry I couldn't help you more, those were just a couple of thoughts I had after I read your post.
Good luck.

K.,

I believe that the biological father willingly orphined his child, therefore giving up any and all rights. All you should have to do is go to the court, once you and your boyfriend get married, show a marriage certificate and request the paperwork for adoption. I do not believe you have to have the biological dad sign over any rights.
God bless you and your new little family,
D.

he pretty much signed over his rights a long time ago. Call a lawyer,it is free for a consult, but i am pretty sure you can do it with out his signature, there just maybe a few waiting periods and attempts to try, but dont worry i believe it will all work out in your favor.

This is my understanding and I'm not sure how correct I am.

My sister divorced when her daughter was young. After the divorce, my sister changed her name back to her maiden name. My niece went through school and all with her father's last name. It was a bit awkward for school teachers and administrators - but not a problem.

When my niece was 14 yrs-old, or so, my sister remarried a very wonderful guy. My niece wanted to take on her new dad's (step-dad's) last name but Texas law says that a judge won't approve a change in the child's last name unless a very compelling reason was put forth (I'm guessing that the judge would ask if there is any problem with leaving the child's name unchanged, is it inflammatory? oh, I don't know what!).

My niece ended up waiting until she turned 18 yrs-old and applied for a change of name (paying oh $200 or less?). She got her name changed.

As far as I know, adoption at the time of the marriage is a show of commitment that is kinda missing with a step-dad relationship. Our church encourages adoption as long as it furthers support for your child, i.e., if your child has little other family (aunts, uncles, grandparents). As far as I know a step-dad gets behind other relatives for custody of your child in the event you, oh, don't beat the train at the crossing (heaven forbid!).

You should do a Google on "adoption Texas laws" or such like.

Good luck.

K.,

From what I understand concerning the adoption process and a good adoption attorney can elaborate on the specifics. But if you do not know exactly where the birth father is but have some idea (KS) you will be required to put a public notice in their local news paper which states you are trying to find him. I am not sure how long this notice has to be posted but by law it has to be done. I friend of mine who adopted a little boy several years ago knows the birth mother had to do this prior to signing papers to put her baby up for adoption. Good Luck!

My suggestion is that you talk to a lawyer to see what your rights are. Also, I agree that you should weigh this decision carefully. Good luck with your decisions.

Hi,
I am pretty sure that in Tx. if he has had no contact with you or the child since you told him you were pregnant that you can prove abandonment and your new hubby when it is time, will be able to adopt him. You can call LDS Family services and ask one of the case workers to be sure. All three of my children are adopted and I believe that is what they told me. They will not be able to do your adoption but can tell you the law concerining your question. Their number is ###-###-####. Best wishes for your soon to be family.

Your boyfriend sounds well intentioned BUT if you one day divorce you would be fighting for your custody rights of this child. I would be careful. Why is this so important to him? He can be a great father without adopting.

K., you've received some very good advise to pursue find the biological father and manage the process. Your title mentions this is a new boyfriend so I'd like to suggest some family counseling on how to integrate your new family since this is a new relationship for you. I also suggest you find out as much as you can about your new boyfriend before you take the step of marriage and decide this is a person that will be your partner and your son's father. Best of luck!

If the babies natural father is not listed on the birth certificate I would think he has no legal rights. Call the county clerks office at your local court house and ask them they should know. Best of Luck!

I am pretty sure that even if the bio father is not listed on the birth certificate if you know who he is that he needs to sign away his parental rights so that there is no question. After that you will need to find out what your state's laws are regarding step-parent adoption. Some states make it very easy, others not so easy. Good Luck.

K., I have been in a very similar situation, and went before a judge (representing myself in an effort to cut legal costs). You actually do not have to go on a wild goose chase looking for the father. The judge informed me that if I did not know the location of the biological father, in an effort to "locate" him, I had to put an ad in the local newspaper of the last known address I had for the father, asking for him to contact me. The ad must run in the legal section (in the classifieds) for three or four consecutive weeks. If the individual does not respond, you indicate that in the paperwork you are going to present to the judge, and he will make a ruling that the father has given up his rights (blah, blah, blah - legal jargon). Anyway, it's fairly simple, painless, and inexpensive. Hope this helps in your quest for your son to have the daddy he deserves.

If the father has no contact with the child for more than six months, he can be considered to have abandoned the child or you can just ask him if he would be willing to sign away his rights and allow your boyfriend to adopt him. My ex decided on his own that he wanted to sign away his rights when my son was 5 and after all was said and done, the process cost me about 1500 dollars, but it is done! There has to be someone willing to adopt the child though. I am not sure how not listing a father affects things...