New Born Not Sleeping Well

I would hold her as long as you can. Everyone says this time goes fast, and it does. I wouldn't worry about "sleep training" until she's about 5 or 6 months, at least. However, i understand wanting to take a shower or eating lunch, so I would recommend a swing (if you have one) or a bouncy seat. Also swaddling really worked wonders for my daughter.
Enjoy this time, my daughter is almost one and it feels like 11 days ago we had her.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi C.,
Does she weigh enough to be in a Baby Bjorn yet (8 lbs, I think)? She would need to be facing front w/ the head support up. If not, many moms swear by baby slings. Personally I found them a bit uncomfortable (I have a bad back) as I felt that one shoulder was overtaxed (I'm also not at all handy; perhaps I wasn't using it correctly). Also, I was always afraid of the position my son's neck was in. Anyway, w/ the BB, I could walk around and do things while he slept. I stopped this after a couple of months, though, so that he would be able to nap on his own. I agree w/other posters that swaddling can help immensely. My son was born very early and was in the NICU for several weeks. The nurses there always swaddled the babies, and not to keep them warm. The isolettes are temperature controlled. The swaddling gives babies the security of a confined space like the womb. They also can't kick or flail themselves awake. Some babies prefer to have their arms out, but start with her fully contained. I'm sure websites such as babycenter.com have swaddling instructions. Also, our pediatrician told us that babies are born nocturnal. During the day when pregnant moms walk, the babies get lulled to sleep (not the whole time, obviously, but for longer stretches of time). At night, mommy has had dinner and lies down in a bit to rest/sleep. Baby gets a sugar rush and no more rocking and wakes up and is more active (much to our chagrin!) while we try to sleep. The doc said to start training our son asap that night was night. He told us to make sure our son was in a dark room and that we not talk to him or be playful with him at night. We could go into his room and put a hand on him/hold him for a bit, change a diaper, pick him up and feed him, etc., but we needed to do so much more quietly and matter-of-factly than we did during the day. Mind you, our son was probably closer to one month old (adjusted for his due date) at this time, but the NICU nurses did many of the same things with him (thought the beeping never stopped in that place; they did cover the isolettes with blankets, though to make them darker). I hope some of this helps, and congratulations on your new daughter!
K.

1 mom found this helpful

you said it yourself...she is only 11 days old. hold her as much as she wants it right now...she will transistion eventually...she isn't quite "here yet" if that makes sense...she is still making her way into being "here"...you will one day be remembering these days fondly :)

What i found helpful and I wish I would of done it sooner was swaddle and a noise maker (air purifier or sound maker that makes a swoosh sound) it really helped my son fall asleep and stay asleep longer, the noise maker sounds like being in your womb, and being swaddled is security. He fussed for about 5 minutes then was out cold. Remember, if you know your baby is fed and diaper cleaned and needs some shut eye, it is okay to let them fuss/cry it out for a few minutes...any longer than 15 minutes and I would be there to hold him....then I knew he wasn't really tired and wanted to be held. your baby will learn to fall asleep when bundled up. A sling is great too because of the natural movement..unfortuantly my son hated that. I also found the car seat useful when taking a shower...I would swaddle and put in car seat and with the sound of the fan, I was able to take a long hot shower! Good Luck.

You can try swaddling. Also, try butt tapping. My son never liked being swaddled but adored being put on his side when he was falling asleep and caressing his head (or just holding it) and tapping his butt with the other hand. He is 6 months and is still soothed by it.

have you tried swadling her i had to do that with my son and then make sure when she is falling asleep that there is soe kinda noice so when you get up to put her in her bed it dont wake her good luck to you

Hi C.. I would recommend swaddling her. Remember she was inside a very confind space for a long time and now all of a sudden she has a ton of freedom. It can be way to much for some kids. I like the Kiddoptamus swaddles (Babies R Us carries them), but found the fleece ones stretch a little bit and can give them too much wiggle room. Swaddling helped all my kids calm themselves.

L.

My son was exactly the same way. What I did was put him on his belly. YES, I'm aware of all of the concerns, but I didn't put anything in there with him and he is fine. To this day he sleeps on his tummy. I also kept the bassinett near me so if he started to fuss I could reach over and pat him or rub his back. I also kept it in the living room with me when I was watching tv. Never did I do the CIO method... talk about cruel! And just keep in mind... she's only been on the planet for 11 days... I'd be freaked out too!

Hi C.,
biologically speaking your daughter is behaving in a very normal and safe way. (It is not safe to be put down in the wild.) I would suggest following her cues and holding her as needed. You may have a better time transitioning her down if she has been well asleep for at least 10-15 minutes (not lightly dozing but really asleep).

I can understand your fear of being tied to the rocker all day when you no longer have immediate assistance (biologically we are designed to have children in a supportive community setting, not going it alone or as a single couple). You may find a good wrap such as a MOBY wrap or a good quality sling could be your best friend, allowing you to snuggle while still moving around and having a life. I personally used a sling but that was because Moby wraps were not aroung then, I think they are great from all I have seen and heard.

As your daughter grows and develops she will have more quiet alert times and more interactive times, you will be able to put her down even when she is awake (and some tummy time is good for them at that point). Her sleep patterns will also change and her level of security. Eventually (very individual as to when) she will be able to settle to sleep in a safe place other then your arms.

Hang in there
K. H.

Hi C.,
Congrats on your new baby! I would suggest reading the book "On Becoming BabyWise" by Gary Ezzo, if you haven't already. This book absolutely saved me when my second child was born (with my first daughter, we spent a nightmarish first year where she slept no longer than 2 hours at a stretch - so with #2 I knew something had to change!)

Anyhow, the primary idea of the book is that if you have a schedule for eating, feeding and awake time, life will be a lot easier all the way around - your baby will know exactly what to expect and will not fight going to sleep. Sounds too easy to be true, but it works. What you can do first is make sure your baby is getting a good, solid meal at every feeding. This may mean that you'll have to take off her hat, take off her sleeper, maybe even take her diaper off so she is a little bit cold - whatever you have to do to keep her awake for the entire feeding. It's important that you do not allow her to fall asleep while nursing. Then after she is done eating, keep her awake for a little while. When it's time for her to sleep, put her down awake in her bassinet. Important: do not wait until she is exhausted to put her down! You can put her in there fully awake, and that's actually better. It's ok if she doesn't fall asleep right away. Remember that perfectly healthy and normal babies may cry a little bit - this may be one of the only ways they can get rid of stress, and it's ok to let them cry a little bit. (I'm not advocating crying it out at this age, simply saying that crying is not always bad.) Give her a pacifier if she likes them, so she can self-soothe with that.

At this point, you should be on a 3-4 hour eat-wake-sleep pattern. As she gains weight and gets older, this will increase and you'll find that she'll sleep through the night pretty early if you can get her to learn to self-soothe and go to sleep on her own. (My second child slept through the night at 1 month, which people will tell you is just luck, but it's not - it's scheduling feeding, waking, and sleeping.)

This is one of the most critical skills you can help your baby learn, and there does not have to be any crying it out. The most important thing is not to nurse her to sleep. I know that's probably contrary to what you may have been told at the hospital, but I promise you it works!

Best of luck to you and your darling new baby!