New Baby Please Help!!!!!

Updated on May 30, 2013
A.A. asks from O Fallon, MO
14 answers

My new baby is only 3 days old and she is my first. I am so confused on the new parent thing and i dont have alot of support from her father. (out of the picture) I have been getting most of the things that i need from my mom but most of it is outdated because it was bought in the 80's and hasnt been used since the 90's. I have a crib and carseat and clothes but i am having problems feeding her because she wont stay latched. Any advice on breastfeeding or even pumps will be greatly appreciated and also pacifier brands that are really good would be great!!!! Thanks!

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D..

answers from Miami on

I don't mean to worry you, but outdated baby furniture is a safety hazard. You shouldn't be using them.

Call the hospital social worker and ask if she knows of places you can get an updated carseat and crib. You need to get ahold of La Leche to get help with nursing.

One reason moms have trouble with latching on is because they don't get all of their nipple in baby's mouth. You need to use your thumb to pull down baby's chin, and then "pop" her on your nipple. The more open you make her mouth, the more of your nipple will get in there. The dark part around your nipple is what baby "massages" in order to get the milk to come down. So that is what is SO important.

I'm sorry you don't have support from the father, but make sure you get the baby to the pediatrician for ALL the well-baby checkups. That is VERY important. Keep tabs on how many wet diapers and how many poopy diapers baby has every day so that you can tell the doctor. You have to make sure that she is gaining enough weight, another good reason to get her to the doctor every time you are supposed to.

Good luck!

7 moms found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from New York on

It's so good ask for help when you need it. You will be a great mom for wanting to get advice from different sources to get the best options. For you issues, def call your pediatrician. You may also find a la leche volunteer to call online. Find the closest group anditshould have someone to call, maybe even a meeting location close to you. Also many hospitals have their lactation consultant available to call, some even in person. There are many resources wanting to help breast feed but sometimes you have to research your surrounding areas.
As for the paci, def wait until you are secure in the breastfeeding. Introducing a pacifier before being established can cause some issues with milk supply and baby confusion. As for the pump, tons of reviews are out there so I would just pick your price point and see what people say. Make sure you don't know anyone that may not be using theirs. Most of the parts can be sterilized.

As for the latching, please be patient. I promise breastfeeding is easier in the long run let alone healthiest. I myself bottle fed one and breastfeeding two so I can compare. With my dd no one, not even the lactation girl could figure it out. Finally I realized her bottom lip was under instead of out causing so much pain I was in tears. I pulled out her lip each feeding and in two weeks all was fine. Sometimes things just need a little tweaking.

My best advice is feed every single time right now. No schedule, just get her used to it and your milk supply up. Don't introduce the bottle until she is used to it. You can pump in between feelings to get a frozen supply started, but don't bottle feed her until she is a few weeks if possible. And my biggest piece of advice, YOU CAN MAKE ENOUGH MILK. I can't tell you how many people say they didn't make enough but the bottom line is only the tinyest percent truly don't produce enough. If you start supplementing your body will think its doing a great job and has no way to know it needs to make more. So then you supplement more. It's a vicious cycle. Give yourself time to adjust and get your body going before adding bottles, pacis, ect. Just nurse the baby on demand and in a month you should be a pro. Good luck with the latching, please don't get discouraged or let anyone make you worry(sometimes people who don't breastfeeding feel better when someone else also gives up). I understand you are tired and its a lot, but in the long run, it's quicker, easier, better for baby, saves you a ton of money and bottle washing.

Eta make sure you check freecycle, yahoo moms groups, ask in Facebook, ect for baby items. People are always getting rid of their baby stuff and are very happy to find someone who can use it.

7 moms found this helpful
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J.Y.

answers from Chicago on

La leche league is a great free resource for breastfeeding advice and help. Many hospitals also have lactation consultants available to new moms. You could call and ask. I am currently breastfeeding my third child. It definitely did not come naturally to me with any of my kids. The first five or six weeks was rough. After that it was so easy. Since you are having latch problems I highly recommend you wait to use a pacifier. Some babies get confused. The more practice you and your daughter have, the sooner you will both learn how to do it. One thing I remember that many people don't do right is to make sure you bring the baby to you and don't lean towards her. As far as outdated baby equipment, a lot of things from that long ago are not safe. The local police or fire department or the hospital may have free car seats for those in need. Many times you can find a nice pack n play for very inexpensive at garage sales. Freecycle online is another good place to find some things you need.

6 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,
Congratulations on your daughter. If you call the hospital you delivered at, ask for the lactation consultant or a social worker and they can find you someone who can help with getting the baby to latch. Also let the social worker know that your baby stuff is very old, the hospital may be able to loan you a car seat and help you get an updated crib or refer you somewhere else.
You can also google Le Leche League www.lalecheleague.org which is a non-profit group to help with breastfeeding. They have lots of resources that may help you. Good Luck! Make sure she is getting enough fluid by counting the number of wet diapers she has and let your doctor know.

6 moms found this helpful

V.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Check to make sure that the crib and the car seat are still up to regulations. I doubt that the car seat will be if it was bought in the 80s. My advice on breastfeeding is to just keep going and ask for help from a lactation consultant if you are having problems with latching. If you can avoid using a pacifier do. The habit is hard to break down the road!

5 moms found this helpful
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K.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Your pediatrician is a great resource for advice like breastfeeding and pacifiers. You should be seeing her any day if you haven't already. She should be able to help, and give you advice on where to find a lactation consultant if you need one. But, breastfeeding is hard at first too...babies need practice just like you do. Get yourself a good book if you haven't already. I liked The Breastfeeding Book by Dr. Sears.
I have the Medela Swing pump and it's pretty good for occasional pumping. My little one likes the Mam Air pacis. My others liked the playtex Binky brand ones. My doc really said only use them after baby is fed if they still want to suck

4 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

The nurses that helped you in the hospital should be able to help you find the right resources. Try the health department too. I got WIC on each of my grand kids. If you qualify you will get food like milk, cheese, peanut butter, tuna, eggs, etc...for yourself for several months to help you eat healthier while you nurse her. They have nurses on staff too, they are the ones who give the kiddo's their shots. They most likely have someone on staff to help with these issues with her latching on.

4 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I wasn't able to breastfeed so I can't help you there, but just wanted to address the issue of the baby gear.

Are you using the outdated crib and carseat? If so, I suggest checking out a local crisis pregnancy center or women's shelter to see if they can give you updated ones.

For pacifiers, my babies liked Soothies, and sometimes the Nuk brand.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I would call your pediatrician tomorrow if she is not latching properly. She may not be getting enough milk and besides being hungry may be dehydrated. This happened to my little one because we had problems getting started with BF - at 3 days old. I'm convinced that it was complicated by the nurse in the hospital giving her a pacifer. It caused nipple confusion right from the start. We had to supplement with formula for a couple of weeks until we got the hang of things. I also pumped and we fed her with an eye dropper to prevent further nipple confusion. We also saw a lactation consultant who help alot! Do you have health insurance that will cover this? Maybe the pediatricians office has one on staff. I would give the pacifier a rest until you are successfully breast feeding for at least weeks.

Good luck!

In regards to a pump I had a medela In style I think. It was great. I didn't give my daughter cows milk until around 18 months so it got a huge workout and never faltered.

I also have concerns about outdated crib and car seat. Not sure what other equipment is really essential for such a little one.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Congrats on your new baby girl! I promise - it will get easier. The first couple of weeks are extremely h*** o* everyone, but then you start to figure stuff out, feel a bit more comfortable, and can relax a little.

Get help with your baby's latch ASAP - the sooner you get good habits established, the easier it will be to breastfeed for as long as you want. Take it a little bit at a time - try to make it one month, then two months, then to three months. After three months, nursing gets SO much easier. If you can make it three months, you can probably make it to a year with no problem. Medela makes excellent pumps; the Pump In Style Advanced is the most popular. Pacifiers are harder, because babies prefer different ones. My son really liked the Gerber Nuk brand; my daughter did better with the Soothies. Contact the hospital where you delivered, or your local chapter of La Leche League for help with nursing.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from St. Louis on

Congrats on your daughter!

Here are a list of agencies that should be able to you in the area.

http://birthrightstcharles.com/

http://www.nfnf.org/missouri/ (Nurses for Newborns)

Northeast community Action (NECAC) 3400 Meadow Pointe Dr. OFallon, MO ###-###-#### www.necac.org
Ad states this is where WIC & family planning is. WIC also has breast pumps they will loan you for the entire time you breastfeed & can help you with the latching. The nurses there are usually REALLY knowledgeable.

You can also get formula from WIC, if breastfeeding does not work for you.

There is no shame in bottle/formula feeding. I know they really like to push the breastfeeding and it is cheaper & healthier, but I know kids that were breastfed and still have severe allergies. Do what works for YOU & YOUR baby!

Birthright in Wentzville - 10 E Pitman Ave Wentzville, MO 63385
###-###-####
They use to help with finding baby items (necessities) along with other services.

Best wishes to the two of you...you are doing great!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from New York on

Congrats! You can take your baby back to the hospital and ask for help from the nurses or the Lactation Consultant. Also try the La Leche League. These wonderful ladies are a God-send. They will spend forever on the phone with you if you need it and are full of excellent advice. The quicker you get help, the better. But she is very new to this and so are you; having a learning curve is normal. Both of my boys really got into a better rhythm after about five days. Try changing up how you hold her, watching TV instead of reading sometimes helps. That way you won't be tensing any muscles holding the book and you can use both hands. (One to hold the baby, the other to hold your breast to her.) Both my boys needed me to use both hands all the time. It will get better, I promise!

2 moms found this helpful
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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A., congrats on your new baby. My advice is similar to the other posts, but I'm going to write anyway to give my support to those posts. The most important thing is to figure out the nursing. Call the hospital where you gave birth, and ask if you can come in with the baby to see a lactation consultant. If that's not possible, go to the Le Leche League site and find the group nearest to you. You can go to them for help, or someone from the group may even come to you if you need them too.

If you give us some more info about why/how she doesn't stay latched, we might help -is she sleepy? Does she come up choking/coughing? Have you tried different positions? Using a football hold always worked best for me for newborns because I could see the latch better and make sure the baby was on there properly.

Also, the best breastfeeding site for advice (IMO) is www.kellymom.com

Don't worry about having a lot of stuff. Concentrate on getting nursing down. You have clothes and a crib and a carseat. That is really all you need for a newborn so you are doing fine. You can pump and offer a pacifier - but not yet. It is better to get your milk supply established by nursing as often as possible, and start pumping to get some extra in the freezer after a month or so. Same with a pacifier - you want her nursing right now, not using all her sucking reflex on the paci. After a few weeks of successful nursing, then you can try introducing a paci (there is no good brand, every baby likes a different one).

Good luck!! Post again if you need more help.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Topeka on

Hang in there, it WILL get easier! I never gave myself the option to NOT breastfeed. I refuse to spend money on something that my body makes for free. It WAS hard in the beginning, and it WAS painful in the beginning. But the pain went away and soon it became second nature. I'm also kind of passive-aggressive and I enjoyed making some people uncomfortable by nursing around them. Lol! Ok, maybe that's mean. As for the pacifier, most will say not to introduce it yet. However, I started both of my kids on the paci in the hospital and both did well with nursing. (my son gave it up for his fingers after a couple of months, and my daughter is almost 2 and I'm currently weaning her from it and it has been hell!) I waited until 6 weeks, almost on the dot, to introduce the bottle. Neither one of my kids had a problem with it at all. They'd take the milk from me or the bottle...they didn't care, as long as they got fed :) I used the Medella Pump in Style both times and loved them both (first time I had the backpack, second time I had the purse-type one). I worried with BOTH of my kids whether or not they were getting enough, but I don't know WHY I worried because they never seemed to be starving and they ate on a regular schedule after the first few weeks. Maybe I was just super lucky with both of my kids, but everything seemed to work out with the nursing/bottles/paci (except I think the paci is the devil no)/pumping. HANG IN THERE!!!

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