Never Try Anything New

because he gets more attention from you when he says no...more face time that is solely concentrated on him...

next time he says "no" - tell him sorry you're gonna miss out on the fun...i'll pack your bandana just in case you change your mind and drop it.

new adventure? tell him what you are doing...if he says NO - tell him he can come and watch the fun and if he changes his mind - GREAT - if not? no skin off my nose!!

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I 100% agree with Cheryl. I nannied a little girl who was just like that, except she threw HORRENDOUS tantrums as well. I would try and talk it out with her, cajole, bribe. Finally I just said, "You know what? I am not doing this anymore. We are going to go to the park. You don't want to play you don't have to." She figure out pretty quick that what the other kids were doing was a lot more fun than sitting on the sidelines.
Your son may be the same way. He may also be a bit nervous about some of that stuff! Dirt bikes? Even I would be nervous! lol
L.

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My oldest daughter was a "watcher" when she was younger, and to a point still is. She needed to 'stand back" and assess the activity, situation or kids then she'd join in. As she's gotten older, she's more apt to be the "leader" of the activity and less likely to hang back...though in certain instances she still likes to hang back and assess. I'd say he's shy and a "watcher". Don't push it, just go with it and leave his options open. Like others have said, he'll figure out that its much more fun to join in.

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He has anxiety. Maybe he has trouble processing sensory information that is new and different. Bring him to a SIPT certified OT to evaluate him and get him on a sensory diet of activities that will calm and organize his central nervous system. This is important for the rest of his life. It may seem like a minor problem now but guaranteed it could become a huge problem later as kids become more social and he is left out of the loop. Check it out.

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I agree with Cheryl O. on this one - it may just be his personality and temperment and nothing you say or do will change that. Sometimes my younger stepson could be the same way, but mostly when it came to going along with something everyone else had agreed on - we all wanted to go out for pizza, he wanted Chinese; we all wanted to see a particular movie, he wanted to see a different movie, etc. We just kept it simple, didn't let him dictate everyone else's choices, and let him know this is what the plan is, he can take it or leave it. We just assumed that no matter what was picked, he would always want something else. Once in a while we would give in just so he would not feel like he never had a say or got his way, but for the most part it was "like it or lump it".

I wouldn't stress anymore about it. I would just assume that this is what his response is going to be, and let him know it's his decision and his choice and if he opts to miss out, oh well. It's not like he has to wear a bandana for Pirate Day or he has to ride a dirt bike. It might help to remind him of all the times he's initially not wanted to do something and then ended up having a lot of fun, but in the end, it's really his issue - don't make it yours.

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Some kids need time to watch new things before they actively participate. There was a recent thread on this and a great article in the NY Times this past week about 'sitters' and 'rovers' (essentially introverts and extroverts). If you take him to watch the kids riding dirt bikes, will he want to try one after he has watched for a bit? It may just need to be on his own schedule. I think that is normal and healthy but may just take a bit longer.

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Just keep pursuading and let it go. Eventually he will come 'round on some things. It just isn't worth the effort to fight all the time. I deal with that with my kids now and eventually they warm up to trying "it".

Some kids are just like that. Just gently push him to try things. I've always found bribery with this type of kid to work. "Try it and I will give you $5." etc.

It usually ends up being a well-spent $5.

Some kids are just like that. Just gently push him to try things. I've always found bribery with this type of kid to work. "Try it and I will give you $5." etc.

It usually ends up being a well-spent $5.

G., one of my sons used to get so upset if someone laughed at him for anything. Even me! He just kind of had a really serious temperment and didn't understand the difference in laughing AT someone and laughing "with" them. I got out a picture my husband took of me walking in a garden, and a goose was behind me getting ready to bite me in the butt. I talked to my son about this picture telling him that his daddy could have called me to warn me, but he snapped the picture first because it really WAS funny. And it was okay. I said to him "Don't you think it's funny?" I did this many times in a few years until he got better.

Why do I bring this up? You could do the same thing with pictures of stuff you all do that you enjoy. Everytime we do something, it has at least ONCE been a new thing. Talk about how much fun something is, get him to agree about those things being fun, and then have the talk about needing to be willing to try something new. And then when things like the pirate day come up, sit down with him and pull out the pics. Talk it through again - patiently, lovingly, but calmly, with strength. Ask him leading questions each time - kind of the same ones, so that he starts to internalize.

Good luck,
D.