Need Your Advice or Opinions

I would definitely talk to the doctor about this. If the Dr. can't help they can refer you to some one who can.

If he is able to write, have him write his worries in a journal or just on paper. Then he can tear the paper up and throw the worries away. This helped me when i was younger. If he can't write yet, have him draw his worries. If the problem is severe however, you might talk to his doctor. He may have a medical condition that needs treatment. I think he may grow out of this too. I would get sick when I was a kid when my life changed too much.

Hi T.,

My heart goes out to you and your son. Life can be challenging enough without over worry and diarrhea!!!

If it were my child I would practice thought stopping. Together, figure out a way to think about something else that is relaxing.... like something he loves to do. It will take practice but if he has been this way for a while, this may be a long-term issue and he will be able to learn ways to deal with it that can serve him well over time and now.

If it doesn't work with you practicing the thought stopping and redirection with him, a therapist who works with anxiety can probably help. Usually, a small thought gets repeated over and over and gets bigger and bigger with this problem. Recognizing and stopping the thought by replacing it with a relaxing thought will stop the increase in anxiety. Strenuous physical exercise might help, too.

If the problem is long standing or is getting worse and more frequent, please get professional help so you and your family don't have to suffer!!

L. C.

Hopefully this is not a sign of some kind of mental health problem. It could just be that he overthinks. Sometimes trying to ease someone's mind doesn't work because you don't know the cause of the worry. And he may not know either, but he's processing things in some way that is negative. I'm sure you've tried everything, but instead of assuring him that all will be well, try to walk down the path of worry with him. Ask him what exactly worries him about a change in his class. If he doesn't know, try to help him figure it out. Try to drill down and find what really bothers him about the change in class, and then ask him what's the worse that could happen if/when there's a change? I think worriers think the worst, and the worst could be something hardly even possible. Once he's able to verbalize what's really concerning him, it may sound silly to him and realize that not possible. This is true for adults, so I would imagine it would be for kids. Say your real fears out loud and they seem kind of silly.

I would call the Dr. It sounds like an anxiety problem that can't be controlled on his own. My sister has this problem, but finally at 29, she is controlling it without medicine. She would get so worked up and nervous she would call into work, or miss classes. No explaination of her worry, it just happened sometimes. I can remember her being that way as early as 6-7 years old, and it got worse as a teenager and in her 20's until finally she got medicine for it. She took Zanax for awhile, and now has gotten to where she can control it on her own and only has a few episodes a year now.

So... I'd tell your Dr. about it. Anxiety disorders are not fun for ANYONE. He can't tell you why he feels that way, and you don't understand what the deal is either. It's one of those complex mind issues. Although I believe in traditional medicine I am becoming more and more aware of the side effects of prescription drugs on our bodies. I would try a natural/herbal remedy first before I put him on a script. Check out Nativeremedies.com . I've been researching things on there for my kids and for myself this past week, and it seems to me, the more natural it is for you, the less side effects there are. But, that's your decision. Whatever you decide, good luck!!

Hi, T.. I have an 8 year old son that tends to worry a bit more than I would like. Storms bother him the most. Have you ever tried taking him to talk to someone about it? My son sees a psychologist once a month, for other reasons too, but it is a great way to get some outside feedback on the situation. Did they notice anything at school during the school year? It may be something that can not be controlled, and need some further diagnosis. I am not trying to worry you more, but sometimes these things need some outside assistance to figure out if he is making himself physically sick with worry. God Bless!

Dear T.,
I wish I did not have to wite this. Your son needs to see a counsoler. If he is so worried it is effecting his health help is needed. If you want the name of a Great lady in the South County area email me back.
Good luck and know with a little help this WILL get better.

T.,
My 7 yo daughter has the same problem. She gets so anxious/worries so much that the diarrhea starts and then she worries will the teacher let her go to the bathroom because at summer school they can only leave 1 time, etc. I made sure that the teacher was aware of the problem and told her that she needs to let Lillian go to the restroom more than once if she asks. The teacher was ok with that. Also, Lillian saw a fantastic therapist who helped her to handle this. He is close, off Manchester. If you are interested, let me know and I can get you his info. I feel for you!
C.

I also have seven year old boy who is a worrier. I have been reading the "Anxiety Cure for Kids" which is an excellent resource....I picked it up at Border's. It might also be a good idea to chat with your pediatrician, since it is affecting his daily activities. Good luck!

Hi T.,
I don't really have any direct advice for your situation... but we've recently checked out a book from the library by Rosemary Wells called "Felix and the Worrier"... perhaps this and other books could help your son put some things into perspective? Also, just talking to him about the things he may be blowing out of proportion might help. Just some thoughts. Good luck with your little worrier.
K.

So sorry to hear your little guy has problems,could it be a problem at home you are not aware of......perhaps see a doctor his issues are much to much for a 7 year old. Hope you can get help.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice. My oldest is 6 1/2 y/o & he is always worried about the weather. The second a drop of rain hits the ground he wants me to check NOOA (a National Weather Asociation) to see what kind of storm is 'comming at us'. He is facinated & very worried about tornados all the time.
I hate to ask, but it be an obsessive compulsive disorder? Maybe that would cause him to be physically sick with worry. I would talk to his doctor.
I know kids with ADD have problems with routine change.
Sorry that I can't be of much help.

God Bless!

Poor little guy! Sad that he can't just enjoy all aspects of being a kid. If just telling him that bad things DO sometimes happen, but they are rare, and we cannot dwell on negatives all the time, then professional counseling might be in order. Don't feel bad about it either--we will do ANYthing to help our kids right? Counseling is just medicine. I had to tell myself that worrying does NOT make things better, but this logic is a lot easier for an adult to reason than it is for a kid. So love him, try to understand him, never get onto him for it. GOOD LUCK!:)

T.:

It sounds like your son has some issues with anxiety. Has he always acted in this manner? Are there any new changes in his life? Some kids just do not deal with change very well, and need to be taught how too and how to decrease anxiety. Is there a social worker at his school, who might be able to work with him?

A. L

Try counceling. Some kids are worriers by nature, but some are worriers because of situations. Counceling may help him not be such a hard worrier. He may worry still a little but not as much. And it is a sign of high intellect. Good luck and God Bless.

T.:

Our little girl is a worrier as well, however, she has seemed to become more relaxed now that is getting old and not worring as much (she is going to be 14).e...

I think what helped us, is that I told her not to worry about those things..Ie, are the doors locked, are her shoes put up, did she put this away, etc. and that I would make sure that it is all taken care of...and for her to get a good nights sleep. Every night I would tell her these things, and I think eventually it eased her mind. We also let her listen to smoothing music for about 15 minutes before bed, and that helped too. C.

T.,
Gosh that's got to be hard on the little guy! I have a grown husband who is a "worrier". Counceling helped alot. For whatever reason, he never really learned the coping skills to handle things that were outside of his control. Now that being said, they are able to learn these skills at any age. Sooner than later would be best for your son. I would suggest to get counceling for him so that he can be taught how to cope when things change and he's not in control of them.
No one is born knowing how to do this, but most people are able to find ways to deal with change, and are more fluid in their ability to cope.
One thing, that would help is to have him write down the thing that he's worried about. Then using a type of "flow chart" , draw lines or columns that show what he can control about the situation, and then what he can't. Have him plan what he can do for the controllable items. For the things that aren't in his control, have him write what worries him. Then you can discuss whether it's a reasonable worry or something than may be blown out of proportion. It may help him get some control over his worrying.

If I were you, I would just sit down with my son, ask him what he is worried about. Then have him give you scenerios of the worst thing that can happen and the best thing that can happen because of this change. Make sure he realizes that the worst thing that can happen is NOT life threatening. I have dealt with anxiety all my life and I find when I start getting anxious, if I just say "what is the worst thing that can happen ok, now what is the best thing that could happen because of this situation. Once you realize the worst thing that can happen you are able to deal with the outcome good or bad. I would talk to your doctor too, but I don't like the idea of getting a child of 7 on anxiety meds. They are pretty harsh to your system and once you start them they are a bear to get off of them. I have completely controlled my anxiety issues through this positive/negative thinking (reasoning things out) and meditation in the evening to help control stress. I would try these things first before subjecting your child to medication for the rest of his life. Would love to hear if this helps him or not. Good luck to you.

Poor little guy. My neighbor's son is the same way. Not about routine but just worries all the time. Maybe you should have a day that you can call upside down day or something. This day would consist of doing things that are not on routine. The whole fam can get involved and it be really fun. Whatever the routine is on a given day that all 4 of you have together (i.e. weekend?) don't stick to it. This way all of you can "work through the situation" with out panic.
I don't know if this is helping or not. You know my sister who is the oldest used to get nervous about everything to the point of throwing up. She's totally normal married with 2 girls now. She just had to learn how to cope which she did later in life which made for a very nervous childhood. If you can teach him early I think he will be okay.
Good luck with your little man...
-K.