Need to Know If It Is Okay to Thin Out a Biracial Childs Hair

OH NO! Don't do that! Take her to a Black hair salon and let them do her hair. Her hair has to be done like a Black person's hair, especially if it's thick. My daughter is bi-racial (I'm Black her father is white) and her hair is very thick. If she is old enough (over 14) and can make the decision to keep her hair up, then she could get a texturizer or a relaxer, if that's her choice. She can also just stay with her hair natural but taking her to a Black hair salon will give her managable hair. But please don't strip her hair.

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I think you should take her to the salon and ask a professional.

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NO! NO! NO! I am biracial and my mom did this to me as a child and it makes it WORSE when it grows out.

My sincere advice?? Talk to the black women in your husband's family. The key is going to be finding the right products to keep her hair moisturized and under control. Also, you need to keep their hair braided or twisted or something. Maybe not the 14 yo, but definitely the other two. Until they learn how to manage their hair down, they shouldn't wear it down. I'm going to send you a private email. PLEASE contact me.

My personal pet peeve is biracial kids walking around w/ crazy heads - my mom did that to me and it is traumatic! And, don't just cut it off and leave them w/ a big poofy fro!

After reading several responses telling you to take her to get her hair blow dried straight & flat ironed, I just want to advocate for teaching her to love her natural hair. I'm not anti-straight or anti-relaxers, but I am PRO-natural. If your teenager learns how to manage her hair, she can love it as much as I love mine. And, my love of my hair took many years w/ many self esteem nicks along the way. My curls are gorgeous and I've had my hair straightened *maybe* twice in the last 10 years.

Please prop her up and help her love her uniqueness. I'm sure (whether she's told you or not) she's already noticed that she's not like her white or black family by now and is trying to make sense of it all. Help her to love herself just the way she is...thick hair and all.

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Try not to thin it or perm it. As she ages, her hair will continue to change, and if it has been altered, it might suffer more damage. African hair has a strong curl pattern and tends to be dry. I am not a stylist, but you can do more research online. As your daughter is biracial, she probably has very wavy hair. Learn about different haircare products that will add the oils she needs in her hair and control the frizz. Read about Paul Mitchell's hair line, Carol's Daughter, and Motions products, which include moisturizers. It takes time to learn which products work best. She also might fare well with a good hair cut that flatters her hair texture, but won't make her look too mature. Go to a stylist who specializes in black haircare who also supports natural styles. This site might be helpful depending on your location. There are lots of beautiful styles that can be done with twists and natural curls that are nice for daily and semiformal events. Cost for perms ranges from $80+, touchups once you have a perm are $60+. Sometimes you can find a stylist that will do a wash/style for $35-$55. It would be better to leave her hair natural and get a style once in a while, which can be done anywhere from $25+ depending on the style. Also, there are some beauty schools that provide service at even lower costs. You have to accept though that they are student stylists there, so the end result might not be A+, but the cost makes it worthwhile to consider. You can find a nearby beauty school by using your Google search engine, type "beauty school and [your city]." In order to save $$ longterm, try a stylist a few times and watch what she's doing to learn how to manage and teach your daughter to manager her grooming. Some don't mind teaching you a little as they work, but might be hesitant to share, as they know you will do it yourself. Watch carefully. I love what other moms shared about good blow dryers and flat irons, but when working with heat, please learn first by watching. It's too easy to damage hair with improper settings and tools.

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I also have biracial kids, except am originally from Africa and their dad is from MN. I'll suggest you buy a really good blow dryer, when drying the hair, leave the dryer on a little longer, it straigtens the hair, making it more manageable; also, you should try taking them to a salon that does ethnic hair once a month.

I also use "Nature's Baby Organics", try the Conditioner & Detangler, it's a Leave-In or Rinse-Out for silky hair.

Hi

I don't really have any suggestions for you but just wanted to say if you go with the flat iron option then make sure you buy a decent brand , I highly reccomend GHD's , cheap alternatives do not get as hot and take a very long time to make any impression whatsoever and can cause even more frizziness.

I agree if you don't want to relax the hair then you should try to straighten it with a flat iron. It depends on her activity. Because if she sweats in her scalp, the air will curl again. Also, have you considered have her hair braided once in a while. My hair was extremely thick growing up and my greatgrand mother use to do my hair. She had the patience. I think finding someone to help you learn how to manage her hair is your best bet. She will want to learn how to do her own hair. Good hair care products are a must. Also, if you want to relax it, it can be done 3 or 4 times a year to make the hair more manageable not necessarily bone straight.

Have you tried a flat iron that might help and it isn't as drastic and it can be done at home if that is what you choose. My best friend's daughter is biracial and her hair is extremely thick so after it gets washed she blow dries it really well and then she flat irons it and it works she only does it about once a week if necessary but she likes it.

I am a black woman and although I have a son, his hair is a little something to work with too. I haven't cut it and don't plan to...it's about 3-4 inches long & very curly/wavy. So far, I just use my fingers for styling with a creme that my husband makes (it consists of mainly coco butter, shea butter & essential oils). Do you have any black female friends or family members that you can ask about helping you with your daughter's hair? Just because it's thick doesn't mean that anything really needs to be done to it, such as thinning it (not sure what that is really) or cutting it...it may just be how it's managed with conditioners and/or hair gels/cremes as they might assist in getting her hair to "lay down" and make it more manageable for combing, styling, etc. I agree with you about not relaxing it, as that will surely change the state of her hair & may cause even more damage than thinning it or cutting it. You can also take her to a salon that specilizes in doing black natural hair & they may be able to give some good tips on how to manage her hair & all it's lovely thickness! Good luck!

Hi, I dont think you should do that. It will still be thick. What I would say do is to use hair detangler and use a flat iron to make it easier for the 14 year old you dont have to do it everyday. For your younger ones just use motions hair moisturizer.Nothing that is 2 oily. Hope this helps

Hi K., you have gotten quite a number of responses on this topic so I will not beat a dead horse. All I would recommend is that you take heed to the advise that was given. By simply using the right hair care products ( carol's daughter or a shampoo with detangling abilities) along with a deep conditioning your daughters hair will be fine. If you deep condition it and come it out before rinsing the conditioner that will also help in the next phase which is blow drying. A good blow dryer will also loosen some of those curls. Please, please, please do not strip that child's hair. Teach her how to love what God has given her and to be comfortable in her own skin. I also agree that going to a Dominican salon (every once in a while) won't hurt. Just be mindful that the process they use can also strip your daughter's hair.

I am not sure of the area in which you live, but I would try to find a salon that does the Dominican blow dry. It is a very intense blow drying technique that they do. I wouldn't do the scissor technique.

B. Hamilton

K.,

Girls are so very precious. I would like to suggest that you call Barry Connell, he salon is in Silver Spring, MD. I have been with him 13 years and I have seen him help parents like yourself make great decision about hair. His shop is called Salon Obessions, ###-###-####. I highly recommend to you. I have thick hair and so does my daughter. Talk with Barry. He can give you peace of mind.
D.

Hello K. J!

I would like to comment on the thinning of hair issue. I am a licensed Cosmetologist of 8 years and a former Instructor at Dudley Beauty College, Washington DC. The hair is ok to be braided the thing that you would keep in mind is the tension that is put on the hair when getting braided. When the hair is being pulled to tight after many reputitions it may lead to hair loss. You will know because you will see bumps, inflammation, etc. As far as the cost the starting price in this area is 40.00 - 80.00. It also depends on the length and density and also the size braids. I also have a mobile service salon and spa that does braid and do a number of other services. If you have anymore questions please feel free to contact me at ____@____.com.

Thank you

Hi K.,

First, kudos for asking this question. I think lots of mothers with biracial kids what to know this question. do you mean thin out or manage? There's a difference. However, the answer is diverse. Some people use a gentle hair lotion, it's a pink hair lotion with cute little black girls on the front, to smooth down the frizzies. I used it on my daughter, never permed her hair. Very rarely got her hair flat-ironed or straightedn because of the permanent damange you can do it it over time. You can get the pink hair lotion from Walmart or a Walgreens. Also, take your daughters to a black beautician and show them the grade of your daughters' hair. Tell them, you don't want to press or perm, you just want expert advice, on how to take care of your daughters' full, think heads of hair. Don't be afraid to ask them. Don't let them intimidate you and know that one or two of the beauticians will be laughing but others will be happy to help you. Also, so glad you aren't afraid because later, as you have questions, your daughters too will have questions about blackness and specifically, their physical blackness. My most and possibly most valuble comment is get them books on black hair from the black bookstore in your area, or in Los Angeles, order from a store called Esowon Books. "Nappy at the Roots," is a good one, think there's one called "black hair," There's another that talks about dreadlocks but I don't know the title. The point is so they can see that there's all kinds of black hair and theirs fits in perfectly. Hang pictures of beautiful thick-haired, curly-haired, afrod women in their bedrooms. Show them they are beautiful. Hope this helps. sb, hampton, va

K. it is very important that you start talking with some black natural(unperm/relaxed) hair stylist in your area. 14 is an age that self confidence and esteem really starts to kick in. Trying to do it yourself without the proper knowledge of her texture hair may cause persistent problems. I have natural hair and get it press every two weeks for about $50. Being that she probably still wears ponytails, once a month should be fine. After a couple months and plenty of questions, you will be able to get the right kind of Flatiron for her her and maintain it yourself. The reason the hair dresser is important is because she should be able to tell you the right products (like pressing oils and brand of ceramic flatirons) to purchase for her unique texture hair. By the time you get to the youngest girls you will be a pro. Start by goggling "Natural Hair Salons, Your city and state". Keep in mind cheaper is not always better when it comes to your stylist. Once you build a relationship the price will drop. Best of luck but I know with the info it will all work out. If for any reason a stylist is out of the question, don't use scissors. Buy a Ceramic Flatiron for no less then $50, some Tea tree oil and take your time parting sections and press the hair. Peace & Love....

I would take her to the stylist and ask her opinion on some good products - there are some leave-in treatments that are over the counter and you can get them at walmart. This helps reduce frizz and makes the curls/waves more pronounces and it looks really pretty when it dries. Also, a good cut will help - they can add depth or layer or whatever in order to shape the hair in a nice way and make it more manageable. They will know what to do if you go to a good place - get some referrals for your area.

Don't thin it out but maybe flat iron it with a ceramic flat iron. Good luck.

I meant to responds to this yesterday but i got busy and forgot. I wouldn't recommend thinning out your daughter's hair. What you can do since the hair is thick is buy product especially for their hair. A detangler would help calm the thickness and I'm assuming curliness while you style it. There's also a product called Miss Jessi's I love it. It's a bit pricy but worth it because you only need a little and with three girls I think that will work for you. Read the reviews - check the site out. You can also braid it - I used to do my daughters hair every other day. Except when i french braided it. If all else fails give yourself a break take them to a kid friendly shop and watch the stylist work and ask what products she uses.

No...try Cream of Nature or a detangling shampoo also it is best if you take the girls to get their hair fixed...you can take them to beauty schools which are more cost efficient or just ask around when you see other girls hair. If you decide to take them to a beauty shop interview the shop...make sure they can do their type of hair. You would be surprized that salons like Hair Cuttery have technicans who can help you with their hair and give you some good advice. Do you live in the Washington, DC, metro area? If so, there are a number of quality and affordable shops just look around...

By the way, there are mild perms too that one can use as well...and my best advise is to take them to a salon 1st before you embark on cutting or perming yourself.

Hello K.,

Just a couple of questions to ask yourself, why do you want to thin out her hair? Is it too hard for you to manage or is she dissatisfied with her hair? Hair is a big deal to us biracial girls, me, well I'm more of a multiracial girl. It really effects self esteem and people who don't have big curly hair don't realize how their perceptions of us effect the child. This may not be the answer you were looking for but I will give you a couple websites that embrace our curly hair and make it look really pretty, and very mangeable. I hope this helps, and tell her how beautiful she and her hair is because a lot of other people will find away not go give her compliments.
www.mixedchicks.net or www.curls.biz or www.missjessies.com

Cutting the hair won't make it thinner. There are a lot of products out there that you can use on your daughter's hair. Miss Jessie's hair pudding is one product. You can wash your daughter's hair and twist it individually and let it dry and take it out and it will be wavy and manageable. I do hair on the side and know that these products work well with all textures but especially mixed children. Google biracial hair and you will see several products that can be used. Of course, all hair is different and you need to experiment. Miss Jessie's has a sample of her products for about $30 so that you don't end up with a lot of products that don't work. One tip-always work with the hair while it is wet and purchase a paddle brush. It works wonders!

The best thing I would suggest would be to find a really rich conditioner.(suggestions Carol's daughter,ojon,Cream of nature)If you have already done this, I would try to find a good stylist that would help with maybe a good blow dry and flat iron. I have a lot of friends with different textures of hair and a lot of them go to dominican hair salons they specialize in thick curly or straight hair they use rollers and then blow dry the hair out. I hope this helps some good luck!