Need to Hear That 2Nd Births Were "Easier" than First!

Updated on August 10, 2011
R.S. asks from Chicago, IL
30 answers

Hi Mom's,

In a nutshell, my first birth 2 years ago was not fun...they think my water had broken well before I arrived to the hospital...I labored 36 hours without an epidural, and after not progressing beyond 6 cm for several hours, they gave me the epidural. Ten minutes later the baby's heart rate dropped and I had a c-section. I'll never know why I didn't progress...maybe the contractions weren't strong enough, or, as my doctor thinks, I was fighting an infection going in to labor which made my uterus tired. The baby was drenched in meconium and ended up in the NICU for 8 days. I was sent home on an antibiotic as I had a low-grade fever, only to return 2 days later feeling very ill. They never truly figured out what was wrong with me (or the baby)...but I sure was terrified as they were running all sorts of tests trying to figure it out. After 3 days I went home on another antibiotic (which was switched tw more times), and my baby went home with me, but I had super high anxiety levels for weeks after that and probably should have seen a therapist to help me through it. It wasn't funny then, but I can sort of laugh about it now.

Fast forward to now...I'm 41 weeks pregnant. I know that all births are different and that I have to separate what happened then, with what will be now. I just have such awful associations with c-sections and getting infections. I'm trying for a VBAC and have a great, positive, upbeat doula. I had contractions yesterday starting around 4 pm, at times 5 minutes apart...some stronger than others...and then well in to the night I was also contracting. They stopped today and my internal exam shows that I have not dilated. I'm so discouraged and although I'm remaining calm and positive, I can't help but think this is going to be yet another slow, long labor in which I get stuck...ending up in c-section.

I'd love to hear some positive stories of 2nd births that went much better than first ones.

Thanks.

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So What Happened?

6 hours of labor and a successful VBAC. :) We have a healthy baby boy. :)

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Words have power. See and speak about a successful birth. I had 2 c-sections and no infections so even getting that does not guarantee one.
I would lvoe to find someone who would even consider letting me v-bac. Walk lots and stay active and don't let the fear ruin it for you.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.T.

answers from Chicago on

My first was tough too. They said I "giggled the second one out". It was so much easier--I was very lucky. Good luck to you too!

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M.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

My births got easier every time :) and I have 5! I had medication only with number 1 and number 5 (number 5 --- over 3 days induction). Never had a C-section. Good luck!!

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J.R.

answers from San Diego on

I had a terrible time with my first delivery. My water broke, no progress, given pitocin, labored for several hours with no epidural, epidural, baby's heart rate kept dropping, ended up needing a c-section, had a bad reaction to the medication they gave me afterward and was paralyzed for six hours, couldn't hold the baby until it wore off, on and on. Thankfully I didn't have the infection issues you had afterward, but the entire experience left me completely traumatized.

Three and a half years later, I delivered my second via VBAC with no epidural. I labored at home for most of the day, was able to eat as much as I wanted, take a nap, take a shower, hang out with friends and family, and then I went to the hospital when contractions were about 4 minutes apart and 1 minute long. From the time I was admitted until the baby was born, I had been in the hospital for about 2 1/2 hours. There was a time during the day that the contractions really slowed down and I was wondering if it was all a false alarm. So I just continued on with my day as normal, and then they finally picked up again.

The second birth was just so much better in every way from my first. I think because of my bad associations with my first delivery, I consciously sought out a completely different environment. I went to a different hospital, had a different OB, but I went in with the mindset that, even if the VBAC didn't work out, I've done a c-section before and I knew I could get through it. It wouldn't have been my ideal situation, but I knew that whatever happened, I'd survive it with a healthy baby at the end.

Good luck with your delivery. I hope your second birth is as wonderful as mine was. Let us know what happens.

3 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Argh, I am sure I will be jumped for this but your first pregnancy is exactly why my OB would never let me go overdue by more than a week.

All my kids were late but always the day before induction was scheduled. My last two my water broke and I wasn't remotely in labor. So to decrease the chance of infection they gave me pitocin and both were born within two hours.

I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV but to me it seems they did everything wrong with your first birth.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.

answers from Cleveland on

My first labor was awful! I wished for death, seriously. Then I got a spinal headache after for two weeks. Second birth, wonderful! (well as much as they can be) Epidural worked, 8 hour labor, pushed for 5 minutes. No complications, not much pain. Good Luck, I know how you feel!;)

1 mom found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

While there is no guarantee that you won't have any problems this time around, I can tell you that being a mommy second time around is easier since you have the mom thing down. First time is always scary since everything is so new. I had 2 c-sections and with my first 3 years ago I had preclampsia after I delivered. No fun. I was worried I would get it again but luckily I didn't. Put the negative thoughts out of your head. Stress is not healthy especially now. Focus on being able to finally meet that little baby you've been carrying around!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

My first birth and second were extremely different.

First birth:
72 hours of painful labor, 5 hours of pushing, baby rearly died.

Second birth:
12 hours labor, less than an hour pushing, baby super healthy.

We were so happy and amazed at how quickly our daughter was born that we gave her the middle name "Mercy" because that's exactly what her birth was - merciful!

Good luck and I hope your second birth is as wonderful as mine was! Congratulations!

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

My first was an semi-emergency c-section at 32 weeks. Talk about scary and being scared to death. I walked funny for 6 weeks lol. But my second c-section (no choice for vbac due to vertical uterine incision and other fun anatomical anomolies) at 37 weeks was a breeze! My recovery was so much easier. I had my daughter on a Monday night-remember c-section-and went home Wednesday afternoon! I was on very little for pain meds, up walking the halls and baby was nursing like a champ.

1 mom found this helpful

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Wow, no wonder you're nervous about this one. Like you said, all births are different. My second was a lot easier than my first, but my third was the hardest of all because the baby was bigger and he presented in the posterior position. There are certain things that are just out of your control. Try to breathe deeply and relax as much as possible. If you have any signs of your water breaking, go to the hospital immediately. If your water breaks at home, do not take a shower. I didn't know that with my first baby and took a shower. That can introduce bacteria and cause an infection. Best wishes!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Lancaster on

My first birth was pretty unpleasant. My water broke at 1:00pm and my doctor sent me to the hospital immediately even though I wasn't having contractions. They would not let me get out of bed even though I felt perfectly fine. I asked for an epidural about 4 hours after the contractions started and they completely overdosed me so I couldn't feel to push the baby out. I was pushing for more than 4 hours! They threatened me with a C-section. 20 people burst into the room and they ended up using the vacuum extractor. I was terrified and it was total chaos. I had a horrible tear with a botched episiotomy that took 4 months to fully heal.

Second time around - The contractions started at 4:00 am and they weren't too bad. Went to the hospital around 11:00 am and was 6 cm dilated. Contractions - still not too bad right up until the end. Pushed that baby out in 4 pushes. No epidural, no tearing. It was one of the best experiences of my life.

Like you, I was way more nervous about the birth experience the 2nd time around, but it worked out beautifully!

1 mom found this helpful
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B.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

2nd birth was fast and easy.

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V.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Because my first baby was c-section due to complications my second one because my doctor isn't for VBAC. Which was ok with me because I liked knowing what I had to expect. If you do end up going with a C-section it'll be easier for you the second time. For me the recovery time was shorter and since going through it before I knew what was going on. I also experience less pain the second time around. You'll do great. The only harder part about the second time is now you have a 2 year old to care. Get lots of help from family.

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V.S.

answers from Harrisburg on

My second was similar to my first though I thought it was more painful (and possibly true as my second wieghed more then my first by almost 3 lbs!) I didn't have all the interventions that you needed so I'm not sure how that may change a second birth.

Try to relax. Watch some birthing videos on youtube (I used to love watching them when I was pregnant) All births are different. You can do it!

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R.K.

answers from New York on

Number one 32 hours.
Number two 8 hours and 2 pushes.
You will be ok. Your body knows what to do now... at least I hope so for your sake ;)

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

The second birth was easier than the first. The third was even easier. So, yes.

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

My 2nd took about half the time of my first. But instead of pushing for 3 hours like with my first, I only pushed 2 times, and she was out.

:))

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

Well my first birth wasn't as bad as your, but at the time..it seemed bad.. My second birth (a year and 2 weeks later) after I got my epidural... She just crawled out. I was talking and laughing with my doctor atbthe same time.. Are you going to get an epidural? After your first experience... I don't see why not.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Well, it's not a guarantee, but most subsequent births after your first are easier! My second was a breeze! I labored, hard, for 14 hours with my first and only had to push for a few minutes, but with my second I got an epidural when I could, slept until I was told it was time to push, sat up, pushed and my little fellow flew out! It couldn't have been easier, and compared to the excruciating agony of my first labor -it was nothing!

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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

My two boys' births were totally different. First one was much longer, both labor and delivery. Second one had to be induced but once that got going it was quick.

First one was threatened to be a C-section because I had refused epidural, had back labor all night long, and was too exhausted to push anymore. When I started pushing they had to use forceps or they would have done C section.

Second baby was much bigger 9lb 5 oz! but he came out with a few easy pushes after a few hours in labor. I couldn't believe how much different it was, especially how much quicker and easier since I did have epidural the second time.

Good luck! What helped me most was relaxing music and a supportive partner giving hand/foot massages.

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R.B.

answers from Chicago on

I hope by the time you read this, you've already given birth to a healthy new baby!! Congratulations on having #2. So this is probably a moot point, but I figured I'd respond anyway :)

My first was...interesting. My goal was to labor as long as I could while still maintaining my presence of mind for the birth. I lasted 10 minutes after my water was broken (I walked into the hospital at 5cm and my water bag was "bulging"). Got the epidural. All was well until my baby's heartrate started dropping with each contraction. And dropping. And dropping. I finally was ready to start pushing, but having never done it before, I had no idea what a "correct" push was supposed to feel like! After almost an hour and a half of pushing, the baby's heartrate dropped to zero, but he was so close to crowning that they stuck the vacuum on his head and sucked him out. I had the episiotomy, but since he was yanked out so quickly, my body didn't have a chance to stretch the way it's supposed to and I ended up with 3rd degree tearing up the vaginal wall. But I'd rather have that and a healthy baby than the converse! Yes, some of the nurses were bitchy at the beginning. Unfortunately, there are some of those out there.

My second, I also went in hoping to go natural but not opposed to the use of drugs. Like I said, I know how I handle pain and I want to be mentally be present at the birth. I wanted to be an active participant and when I'm in too much pain, that's not possible. However, I do fully believe in hospitals and modern medicine because complications happen. It's a fact of life (and birth). This time around, I had been on bedrest all week for major prelabor (contractions every 10 minutes or less for 2 weeks, but no pain, no advancing dilation) and at my weekly checkup my Dr said "ummm, you're 5 cm and I can't let you go home." (big, fat THANK YOU to sitting on an exercise ball all week to help dilation!) Unfortunately the one doctor in the practice that I HATED was the only one available for the birth since my Dr couldn't get out of a scheduled C-section at another hospital. Got to the hospital, got my water broken, got the pitocin started, very quickly ordered the epidural since pitocin stinks! The epi wore off about 15 minutes before I started pushing and that was the most miserable 15 minutes of my life because the epi machine that's supposed to administer more to me BROKE and the anesthesiologist was busy elsewhere. But right before I started pushing, he came back, gave me another shot and that at least took the edge off for pushing--only to leave me numb for 2 hrs after the birth! Little girl was out in less than 15 minutes! By the way, seeing as how she came shooting out fairly quickly, her collarbone was cracked and I had 3rd degree tearing...again...even though my Dr assured me that since I'd had one baby, the second usually don't tear (though she told me after my first that my body isn't made for babies bigger than my 1st...he was only 6lbs! And my 2nd was over a pound bigger!!). Once again, couldn't walk very well for 6 weeks. But again, I'd rather have it this way with a healthy baby!

So, yes, the 2nd time around was different and had its own challenges, but I think the difference is that I was better prepared having gone through it all before. I didn't need alternative medicines, but I am glad that those things exist for those people who prefer them.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have the BEST story for this! My first birth was induced for high blood pressure. I made it around 43 hours naturally and then finally got an epidural so I could get some sleep. Around 49 hours into the induction I was 7.5 cm and had a fever and I agreed to a c-section, in tears. My midwife said, well, try pushing a few times to see what happens. I pushed for two hours and I did manage to have a vaginal delivery after 51 hours and 39 minutes of induced labor.

Fast forward two years and I was pregnant with my second planning a home water birth. At 40 weeks I got the go-ahead from my midwife to get an acupuncture induction (my husband is an acupuncturist and since I went late the last time and my blood pressure was starting to creep up again I decided I'd rather do an acu induction than wait and end up with a medical induction). My husband gave me an induction treatment that night and I started having strong contractions every 10 minutes. They woke me up every 10 minutes all night long and I was sure it was the start of labor, but they never got any closer together. The next morning they were still every 10 minutes so I sent my husband to work (he works very nearby) and said I'd call if anything changed. Right after he left the contractions stopped. I think I only had two contractions that day. That night at around 6pm he gave me another induction treatment and once again the contractions started every 10 minutes again. I watched TV and timed the contractions for several hours and then around 10:30 I went and took a bath to relax and get ready for bed figuring it would be the same as the night before. After the bath I got ready for bed and climbed into bed and then decided to time a few more contractions before going to sleep just to make sure they weren't getting any closer. Sure enough the first set was 8 minutes apart, the next cont was 6 minutes, and then three minutes. And they were strong! I called my midwife at 11:30 to tell her I was in labor and she should come over. I truly did not believe I was in labor until then. My husband started running around like a madman to get everything set-up (the tub and such) and I remember saying "we're going to be at this all night, would you please slow down". Ha! Right after that things really picked up. My water broke around 12:30, my midwife walked in the door around 12:45. I got into the tub and started pushing around 1am and my son was born at 1:16am... less than two hours after I actually realized I was in labor. The contractions for the last hour or so were painful. The contractions for the several hours before that were a lot of pressure, but no pain. The contractions the night before were just annoying because they kept waking me up. It was the easiest, most blissful birth experience ever!!!

I, like you, was SO WORRIED that my second labor would be like my first. And my midwife kept trying to tell me that second births are totally different, but I couldn't truly believe it until I went through it. It was fantastic!

Good luck to you!!!

BTW, my husband only charges $35 a treatment. It typically takes three consecutive daily induction treatments to work... sometimes more, sometimes less (I only took two treatments to get into full-on labor). You can contact him through www.SassackAcupuncture.com.

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M.P.

answers from Peoria on

Second one was easy breezey compared to first. Hang in there and try to envision the end result...that precious little bundle of love in your arms!

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L.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I didn't read all the responses, but it looked like the majority said yes.

I can tell you that our 1st birth stories are very similar! Thought my water broke, not progressing, he actually was trying to come out face down instead of face up, so he kept getting stuck on my pelvic bone. I too had some bizarre infection, went into kidney failure. . . . I was completely prepped for a c-section if they couldn't get him turned and out with forceps. But 21 years ago this month, I was thrilled to have enough complications that I got to stay 3 days instead of the 24 hours!

Our second was a complete breeze! 4 hours from the time my water broke to the time she was out. Everything was great, went fine.

You will do great. I know it's easier said than done, but you can not dwell on your previous experience and you can't worry until you have a reason to worry.

You are blessed!

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M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Absolutely better. I think, even as much as we know about childbirth, we still go into the first one somewhat ignorant of what can happen and how to prepare for it. Mine was as bad as yours but complicate it with the fact that I woke up blind. When they finally decided to do the C-section, the put me completely under anesthesia...I don't know if you are aware or not but when they use general anesthesia they close and tape your eyes shut so they won't dry out...well they forgot to close them before they taped them. Fortunately the tears on my lens healed within a few weeks and I got my sight back BUT it was terrifying.

After two years of anxiety, I concieved my second child and I knew that I needed a doctor that communicated better. (I would have used a midwife or doula but in my area, they were not allowed in our hospitals) I did chose a planned C-section because of the type of trouble I had delivering, but the fact that I had chosen a doctor, not because of reputation, but because of the way he communicated with me, I was in good shape.

God bless and congratulation! Let us hear all about it!!!

M.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My 2nd labor was 100% less intensive than the first. It was completely night & day different.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I was in labor 12 hours with both, but on an epidural, so it wasn't that bad.

However, first child, I went nine days overdue. I had to push two hours and when he was born, he had breathing problems and anemia and was rushed to NICU. About an hour after he was born, I was in excruciating pain from a clot in my uterus. I won't even share how they fix that problem. Horrible, horrible.

Second child, I pushed maybe 10 minutes and she was a complicated face-first delivery. It was piece of cake compared to the first one. Just a few pushes and done. However, they did let me tear as opposed to the episiotomy the first time, so I had more pain for a lot longer during recovery.

Second one can definitely be easier, in my experience.

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J.G.

answers from Rockford on

I didn't really have a hard time with either, but I did have an easier time with my second! I had a normal delivery with my first, and a c-section with my second (all kinds of complications with the second, but all turned out well). I think part of why I felt better with my second birth, is that I was then bullheaded enough to tell people to LEAVE ME ALONE! HA! HA! HA! I knew what I needed for me and the baby, and was able to tell people that, so that is what I got. I had a better second delivery. Although to hear the stories, it might not sound like it was better, but in all honesty it was.
For my second baby I had to have an emergency c-section while my husband was out of the country on business. I told him to go, I didn't think there would be a problem. Well I was wrong! ha! It wasn't anything too major, but I had preeclampsia. He got to see our little guy two days later. But that being said, I didn't have in-laws swarming the room taking my baby away from me. I didn't have the ten million visitors in and out of the room, which always caused me great stress and huge guilt asking people to leave with the first baby.
Second time around I had time with just me and my baby. It was much needed and made everything so worth it!

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

I recommend that you talk with JoAnne Lindberg at www.birthlink.com
She gives advice about birthing choices and is very knowledgeable about resources in the Chicago area.
Having a doula is a very positive step.
All three of my deliveries were different. The first one was the longest. However, one of the nurses at the hospital was also a doula and I found her to be a very comforting and helpful resource as I was in labor all night at the hospital with first baby. With a vaginal birth, the nurses and/or doulas are very important because I saw them more during labor than I saw my doctor.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and already being the Mom of one child. You are smart to research your birthing choices. Remember your goal is healthy Mom and healthy baby and be open to changes in your plans.
If time permits, I also suggest you take prenatal yoga for the breathing and relaxation exercises.

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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

First birth was a complicated mess. After a 30 hour PAINFUL induction 10 days post dates, I had a nearly 9 lbs baby get stuck in the birth canal (shoulder dystocia), hemorrhaged, suffered a 3rd degree laceration, and had severely swollen legs for a week afterwards. Second delivery 3 years later was not induced and followed a 5 hour unmedicated labor that seemed like a breeze. We almost didn't make it to the hospital before delivery. I had no complications and recovery was a cinch. Third baby followed suit 20 months later with an identical 5 hour labor and delivery. Both babies 2nd and 3rd babies were over 9 lbs, but by far the easiest to have. Best wishes! Every labor and delivery has it's own story. Nurse Midwife Mom

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