Need Sympathy: down W Bronchitis & Still Have to Be Shrill to Be Heard. Why?

Updated on November 27, 2012
D.H. asks from Briarcliff Manor, NY
12 answers

I have bronchitis and feel awful. My voice is going. To make matters worse hubby continues to take his sweet time to put 8yo son to bed. Hubby does not give one about being on time for anything so he doesn't care about bedtimes. Meanwhile my 8yo has come to expect daddy to eventually give in to 'daddy come on put me to bed' 'just a few minutes daddy' 'i don't want mommy only you'. But giving in usually comes around 11 at night! Yikes! So kiddo is pretty exhausted in the morning and almost always has to run to catch the bus. I'm sure its not helping his learning. He also got in deep trouble at school last week for the first time ever; I gotta think its 'cause he's so tired and easily frustrated. I can't do it all. I am a SAHM with the entire household on my shoulders 'cause hubby works long hours out of the house. While he is the better cook he rarely does it anymore. I think doing it all is why I got sick. I just need a little sympathy tonight so I am venting. I feel frustrated that I can't slack for one moment and the place comes crashing down. Bleh. Maybe its emotional fallout from the recent touch of weather we've had here on the Northeast coast. Okay so I need a question: what's a good home remedy for easing the deep down in the chest congested feeling?

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L.B.

answers from New York on

steamy bowl of homemade chicken soup - It really does have some medicinal properties that help you feel better - put every kind of vegetable you can think of in it to increase it's effects. I love to put butternut squash in my chicken soup.

I think that Vics vapor rub is very effective.

Hot steamy shower will give you some short term relief.'
Hope you feel better!

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Get a whistle. When hubby dilly dallies about bed time -- blow whistle HARD. Don't raise your voice, just whistle.

As far as bronchitis goes chicken soup, steam, chamomile tea all help. Get a vaporizer going it will help. Taking an expectorant helps too. Something like Musenix or Robetussin (sp) should help.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

First I am soo sorry you are sick! You need to take it easy and make your husband have some empathy and help you! I am being completely serious, but go buy a bike horn----then whenever you need your husband/son, start honking like crazy. He will come to you quickly so he doesn't have to hear it very long :). Also, instead of talking---get a pad of paper and pen and start writing. You need to rest your voice and body. Lastly, spoonfuls of honey really help to coat the throat and help with cough. Feel better~

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

I can totally sympathize! Hope you feel better soon!

For the deep down chest congestion I highly recommend Mucinex. Not the off-brand (and I'm a big believer in off-brands!) but pay extra for the name! I've also found that lying face down and having someone gently thump you on your back in different places helps loosen the phlegm.

Hot tea is great, mint especially. For coughing, take a teaspoon of honey.

I don't normally do conventional medicine, but the last time I had bad bronchitis I resorted to Mucinex.

As for getting the little one to bed--I would trick hubby and have him start the routine 30 minutes earlier. Then give hubby a deadline because you need him for some reason. That's what works for me! I will usually say "Honey, I'd love for you to watch XYZ show with me at 8:00 so please get Junior to bed so we can have some adult time. I'm tired an I'd appreciate your company." My husband will put up with a lot of bedtime stallers, but if I need him he will cut it off with the little one.

Feel better soon!

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

So sorry you're feeling like this.

For decongestion, how about trying to go into your bathroom & turn the shower on really hot........just for the steam in the room. Sit on the toilet.

Also for decongestion, you could rub Vicks Vapor rub on your chest.

For the next couple of dinners can you order pizza, have someone drop off a frozen lasagna, make chicken or veggie homemade soup?

As far as your son getting to bed, do you have enough energy to get him to bed so he won't so tired in the morning or at school? Maybe that could be the one thing you handle while letting the rest of the house/laundry slide so you can rest & concentrate on getting better.

Updated

So sorry you're feeling like this.

For decongestion, how about trying to go into your bathroom & turn the shower on really hot........just for the steam in the room. Sit on the toilet.

Also for decongestion, you could rub Vicks Vapor rub on your chest.

For the next couple of dinners can you order pizza, have someone drop off a frozen lasagna, make chicken or veggie homemade soup?

As far as your son getting to bed, do you have enough energy to get him to bed so he won't so tired in the morning or at school? Maybe that could be the one thing you handle while letting the rest of the house/laundry slide so you can rest & concentrate on getting better.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

So sorry. You need to rest up A LOT. Bronchitis just won't get better without you resting. Drink lots of water, take your medicine (antibiotics, right?) and just let things go.

Write your husband a variation of this letter. Be kind in it. Don't go on and on, but include the trouble at school, your son being tired in the morning, and all of this. Tell your husband that you know he has a lot on him, but you cannot afford to end up in the hospital, so it's going to be on his shoulders for a while. Don't talk about what he isn't doing to help on an ongoing basis. Talk about right now, and especially getting your child to bed at a reasonable hour. You need to take yourself out of the bedtime scenario completely and leave it all on his shoulders.

Don't cook, don't clean. Rest, rest, rest so that you don't come down with pneumonia too.

Dawn

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I feel your pain. I used to have bronchitis at least 3 times a year, sometimes as much as 5 times. Every cold just went down into the chest. There isn't much you can do - unless there is a rampant infection present, antibiotics won't do anything. I was so tired of Robitussin with codeine just to sleep, I can't even speak coherently about it. If you're like me, your evenings/nights are worse even than the days, and so you can't sleep. If you can't sleep, you can't get well. Even if you fall asleep, the coughing wakes you up. Right?

You can try elevating your head at night - I slept almost vertically just to keep the coughing at bay! There are things you can do to support your immune system - I have not been sick in 5 years and I can't tell you what a blessing that is. I realize it would help if your husband would cook better meals, but our foods are so nutrient-deficient these days that it's still not enough, say the American Medical Association and every reliable nutritional authority you can research. So effective supplementation in a comprehensive and absorbable formula is the way to go. Forget individual nutrients (Vitamin this, Mineral that) and definitely forget pills (not absorbed). So I can help you with that going forward, but it's not a miracle cure for this particular bout of bronchitis.

I would suggest that you cut WAY back on everything. No cleaning, no making beds, no tidying up the toys. Can your husband cut back some of his long hours just for the next week until you improve? If he comes home at a decent hour and gets a decent dinner into all 3 of you, and he gets your son to bed at a decent hour, that would help. He's got to be the one to get up in the morning and deal with a tired child who is running late, and he's got to be the one to put your son on the bus. Maybe then he will realize what a job it is and how important it is. Give the teacher your husband's cell phone number and tell her to call HIM about the problems. Explain that you are sick and that you cannot talk. Tell your husband that he is taking one week to deal with the family issues that always fall to you. If your son doesn't get some rest, he's going to be down with bronchitis too, and then your husband will be taking off full days to care for both of you.

SAHMs need a break too - sick time, vacation time, weekends! Yes, the hurricane took a lot out of all of us, but it's more than that. Your husband may have 50 or 60 hours a week instead of 40, but you have 112 hours a week (that's 16 hours a day times 7 days a week - and that's assuming you sleep 8 hours a night which I'm guessing you don't!). So don't let him tell you he has the harder life.

So, if you do less, and he does more, it will level things off a bit. And that's for every week, not just while you are sick. It will benefit everyone - a child needs to know that he has 2 parents who can cook, bathe him, put him to bed, check his homework, sign his permission slips, do the wash, shop for groceries, run a vacuum, and give him some love and story time too. Try to convince your husband that this bonding time is important, and that the most important role model in a child's life is the parent of the same gender. If he doesn't want his son to grow up to be gone all the time while his wife is sick in bed, he needs to model the behavior he would wish for.

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I feel your pain, I've got bronchitis right now too, and I'm 39 weeks pregnant, so it's AWFUL! My husband has been VERY helpful, as much as he can be, but he just started a new job with a long commute and 12-hour shifts, so this week I'm juggling everything while being sick, and anxious about new baby. Even when hubby is home, he just doesn't handle things as well as I do (he's just not as structured as I am), which makes me anxious because I need everything in order right now, we are having a baby on Saturday!

Sounds like you and I both need to relax, take care of ourselves, and let other things fall by the wayside until we are back in the game. As for your son, 11 is way too late to be going to bed on a school night, I agree with you! Can you talk some sense into your husband about that at least??

I hope you feel better soon!!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

"Doing it all" will not make you sick. I raised my daughter as a single parent living in a state where I had no friends or family. I worked full time and "did it all" after work and on weekends. If people got sick from doing it all, single mothers would constantly be sick.

You got sick because it's going around. I understand you don't feel well, but really it's not that hard to get out of bed long enough to put your child to bed at a decent hour. All it should take is "X, it's time for bed. Go brush your teeth and I'll be in in a minute to tuck you in." And then he should do it.
If it requires more than that, you have some issues to deal with.

As far as things to help you, chicken broth is a great expectorant. It will help break up the congestion in your lungs so you can cough it out.

Also, moist heat. Fill your bathroom with steam and sit in there and take deep breaths of the steam. The moisture will help to break up the congestion in your lungs.

Good luck!

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Hot bathes/steamy showers - cough as hard as you can while you are in there to get up as much phlegm as you can.
Vick's Vapor rub on your chest and throat (I tried the feet and socks thing but it never did anything for me).
Humidifier in your room at night.
Use a neti pot and rinse your sinuses out with warm saline as often as you feel like it.
Drink plenty of fluids - water, soup broth, tea, some ginger ale if your stomach feels a bit sour.
Mucinex should help thin the mucus so you can cough it up.
Keep a heating pad on (on low) your chest.
People use to use mustard plasters for this but they can burn your skin if you are not careful.
Just get yourself better first.
Once you are on your feet again the running of the house in it's usual pattern will come back again.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I do sympathize. I've been sick as a single mother and had to do it all myself even tho I just wanted to sleep.

If you haven't been direct with your husband and told him in a firm but calm voice that his son has to be in bed by such and such a time, then tell him now. Ask him how you could help.

If you've told him and he still waits until late, then I'd go to him, tell him you're putting son to bed and ask for his help. Give him a hug to get his attention. Take his hand and lead him to your son. After they get started you'll probably be able to go back to the couch or bed.

I've spent years feeling that I had to do it all. With counseling and practice I discovered that if I don't do it, someone will eventually pick up the slack, especially if it's important to them. If it's not important to them, then it doesn't need to be done until I'm well again. I changed my priorities.

Getting your son to bed on time is important and hence the bit of strategy to get husband involved.

I, too, have had good luck with Mucinex. I've gone from being so stuffed up I couldn't sleep to being totally clear with one dose.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

Be very thankful you are a SAHM, & not having to leave the house every single day...& still have to battle bronchitis.

In no way am I minimizing your angst. I fully understand how bronchitis can zap the strength right out of you. Reading back thru your previous questions, I know you have older kids....do you have any young ones? Or do you have time to rest/nap during the day?

For me, I have bronchitis 2-3 times/year. I take Zyrtec & Singulair daily. But with each cold/round of heavy allergies, I usually end up with bronchitis. That's when I end up on my inhaler.

In your case, the home remedies I use are: steamy showers, lots of fluids, Vicks, & hot toddies - both with & without the booze. I do not use Mucinex because of my normal allergy meds, but both of my sons rely on it. & usually, I go thru 1-2 rounds of antibiotics before I'm healed. What does your dr say?

& as for the whole bedtime issue: you & your husband need to be on the same page. 11pm is insane for an 8yo! Research online for the recommended sleep for his age group. You will be amazed at the #s.

As someone else posted, forget talking. Write notes! Good Luck!

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