Need Some Creative Discipline Techniques for a 15 Yr Old.

B.,
If you get any helpful advice, please feel free to pass it along to me. I feel like I am in that same boat with you. I have a 15 year old girl that I am about to strangle. She has tested the waters so many times. She gets better (for awhile) and then worse again and each time it gets worse with her. I, like you, have tried everything I could think of. I have done 'positve re-enforcement', tried sitting down and calmly talking to her, tried grounding, even busting her butt. NOTHING works. I guess what I am trying to say, is I want you to know you are not alone there are other parents out there with the same problems.
G.

Hello B.,
When your son breaks the rules try having him choose his own punishment.It gets him to thinking about what he did wrong and the punishment.I promise his punishment will be way worse than yours ever could be.Also he's more likely not to fight you on it since he made the punishment up. It also gets him proactive in his thinking about what he is doing.I hope this helps good luck
R.

I do not have a teenage boy, but a four year old boy. I think you may be a bit off base asking females how to deal with males. Teenage girls yell, argue, throw fits and so on all verbal in one way or another. But with guys, I don't know many who actually want to sit down and talk about their feelings. You may want to ask men you know to remember how they were at that age and see what they say. My husband tells me he was a punk at that age for absolutely no reason. He only wanted to play sports and impress girls. Since he wasn't a big guy for his age he gave big attitude so he wasn't messed with by other guys. Your son may have a problem with guys at school or girls at school causing him to lash out, of course lashing out to you. Some quality father (or bonus father) son time may be a good idea to get him to talk about what his problem is. My husband never talked to his dad about what troubles he had , he wasn't comfortable talking with him. That's something he wants to change with our son.

Good luck, J.

well I have a soon to be 13 year old boy and if u find anything that works please let me no. I have tryed things like u the picking up the yard the writing things, Taking away things. He just dont care. He was a very good child to about 6 months ago. When his voice and started to change and he relized he was taller than me( and i am no a small woman). my husband can talk to him and he does what he asked right then. If i say anything to him its a argument. Plus i caught him bragged to one of his friends the other day saying he can get away with whatever he wants to with me. So i no this is not a help to u but please i am just started this teenage stuff so when u find out something please let me no

I think that your punishments are totally unrelated to whatever he did that you are punishing him for...What does he possibly learn by writing 3 pages and having you rip it up.....he learns that he did all that for nothing...the punishments should be related to what he did....

I think what Robin said was excellent advice. I have used that with many families that have teens. By having their input to discipline, they usually come up with stricter ideas, and they appear to be more accountable. Follow through has been much higher.
What sort of behaviors are you dealing with? Depending on the behavior, natural or logical consequences are often best (break curfew, must come home that much earlier next time, etc.) I have dealt with some of the most serious teen behaviors (it's my job)and would be more than willing to give suggestions. Just message me back if you need additional ideas/ help.
T.

Oh, moms... As a former English teacher, it's hard enough to get kids to enjoy writing without parents using it as punishment. I can't imagine having to discipline a teenager yet - mine's just two - but please don't punish your kids by making them write. It just makes teachers' jobs that much harder and could hurt your kids' grades.

Sorry - just had to get that out. I look forward to hearing all of your advice for a few years down the road!

ok, I have no advise, I just have to ask what a "bonus mom" is and how you ended up with 3 11 year olds?