Need Sleep! - Menifee,CA

Hi, my name is S. and I have a four year old and a 6 month old. My only advice for you is to ask you daughters doctor about starting her on baby cereal. Maybe she is more hungry than you think.

Hi, as a mother of three breast fed babies, I know this cycle! It took me until number three to get it right, on the sleeping, but it sure made life more enjoyable for my husband and I. You won't like it but you have to let her cry. It will take three nights of nothing but crying. You just have to let her know you won't wake up with her. Peeking and letting her know you are there every 15 min. but DON'T take her out of the crib, just say hi, and walk out. But, if in your heart you really want to wake with her than do it. If you want sleep let her cry. Do what feels right.

Hi! I have 7 month old twin girls and someone gave me the advice when they were a bit younger that they might not be waking up because they are hungry but out of habit or routine. So they suggested to me to try to just give they a pacifier (if you give her one) instead of just feeding her and see if she will just go back to sleep by her self. It worked for us. For couple of weeks of doing this I would be up a few time a night giving the back there pacifiers and slowly the amount of time each night decreased and now they sleep through the whole night and don't wake up at all if they do they just can go back to sleep with out our help. It only took us about a months time of getting up with them before they started sleeping through the night. I hope it works for you!!!
M.

Skip the Babywise books. Bad advice. They advocate cruel treatment of babies and should be burned. Babies have their own biological needs and schedule, they don't need to be "trained" as some would have you believe.

If you want to read a good book, try The Baby Book by Dr Sears. He is a pediatrician with 9 children, his wife is a nurse, and 3 of his sons are now doctors in his pratice as well. He/they wrote a series of books (The Pregnancy Book, The Sleep Book, etc) so pick up whichever pertains to you, but The Baby Book is a great overview and covers many aspects of the first 2 years with your child. That is a must read IMO.

Some kids don't sleep through the night for a couple of years, it just happens when their brain is chemically ready. My son only started sleeping "through the night" at 23mos. Before that he woke several times during the night. I also found that he slept longer stretches when next to me. If your bed is not comfortable, make some changes and get comfortable. Try pushing the crib up to one side with the rail down. (If it works! My son wouldn't have that, he needed to be touchig me.) You can continue to nurse and cosleep when you are going to school. In fact, your baby might prefer it and be comforted by it after being apart from you during the days while you are in school. That will cut down on clingynes when you do have her.

Keeping her active during the day might help her sleep longer, but your best bet might be to take naps when she does during the day if you are missing too much sleep at night (when the boys are in school?). If you can't nap, just make sure you go to sleep when she does at night! I made the mistake of puttng my son to sleep and trying to get things done until midnight when he'd first wake. But then I'd never get good sleep! I got better at going to be when he did, that way we both got that 4 hr stretch from 9-1am! Then it wasn't so hard when he woke again at 3am and 5am. Upon nursng at 5 he'd often sleep in until 8 or 9am. :)

Best of luck, you'll get the hang of this, and remember this will pass!

I know exactly how you feel. My son still wakes up once a night to be fed and he's almost 1. One of the books I read told me to feed him first before putting in the bath and then cuddle a little after the bath. The baby sees a feeding as comfort and that is the way to fall asleep. I suggest putting her in her crib and letting her cry a little the first time and from there on let her cry a little more each night and aventually she will fall asleep on her own at night time. It's a long prosess but it will work in the end. I don't think there is a fast way to get a baby to sleep through the night. Hope this helps.

hi....im going thru the same thing with my 5 month old...i read that the baby is going thru a growth spurt and is needing more nutrition....i'm breast feeding too by the way.....yea just drink alot more water to increase the supply and it really seems to be working with my little one this past week. he wakes up once feeds really good and if he falls asleep kind of jostle him awake a few times just to make sure he is really sleeping good before you lay him down...hope this works...bye......oh yea please dont let the little one sleep on its tummy and dont let her cry it out....ive never had to do that with any child of mine...bye

Hi S.! My daughter did not sleep well in her crib until she was 9 months old. She seemed to sleep better once she started eating table foods. I know you have a little while before your daughter gets to that point so in the meantime have you tried using a swing? That's what we did with my daughter on many nights. We set the swing up in our bedroom and she would sleep for 6-8 solid hours. (we bought rechargable batteries) It was a wonderful thing! Once she stated eating more solids foods we were able to transition her to the crib without her having to cry it out. I don't know if that would work for you, but the swing really helped us. Good Luck!

Hi S., My boys are a little older then yours. 8 and 15 to be exact. My oldest one had a hard sleeping patern. He would wake up several times in the night but would not go back to sleep for a couple of hours and then sleep for about an hour and then again wake up for two more hours. I finally moved him to his own room and crib. I also put one of the moving, mobils that play music and light up on his crib. He soon started sleeping thought the night. It does not hurt a child to cry for a bit. I know as a parent that we sometimes feel gulity if our baby cries, but we do need a break sometimes also. With you going back to school, your child will have to get used to you not being around as much as she is used to. Putting her in her own room is a start in the right direction. If you are worried that you won't be able to hear her, get a baby monitor. Hope this helped some. Good luck.

A.

I have a five-month old, also, and he likes to wake up during the night as well.

I have to say that the advice to put your baby to sleep on her stomach should PLEASE be ignored! Your baby isn't ready to sleep on her belly until she turns herself onto her belly. The "Back To Sleep" program has decreased SIDS hugely (I don't remember the exact percentage SIDS has decreased but it's something like 75% less) but somewhere around 25% of babies who have died of SIDS since the inception of "Back To Sleep" do so because they've been placed on their belly or side to sleep. Keep your baby on her back as long as you can!

Okay, stepping off that pedestal... :o)

About sleeping, I agree that your baby needs to learn to put herself to sleep. My son is just now getting this. I did have to let him cry a bit sometimes, which I completely hated to do, but I would stand in his room with him and try to soothe him from the side of his crib. (He has never slept anywhere but his crib at night.) I couldn't bring myself to "Ferberize" him but knew I had to do something. So after he would wake up at about midnight I would just go to him and rub his head but not pick him up. I would decrease my involvement to the point where I was just standing by his crib, not touching him, not talking, just letting him know I was there. After a few minutes he would calm down. He immediately started not waking again until about 5 am and I would then nurse him. This has only been going on for just over a week but he's doing so much better. If he does wake he usually just fusses a bit for a few minutes and then goes back to sleep until 4 or 5. And after he nurses in the early moring he will sleep until 8 or 9.

I don't know if any of that will help you but I hope you find something useful there! My first son slept through the night at 5 weeks, slept 12 hours a night by 7 weeks, and has rarely woken up at night in the 3 years since...so with my new baby I am completely figuring things out as we go.

Is she eating baby cereal or baby food? She might be to the point where she needs something else in her belly. Try what's called a mama bear. It makes the sound of the heart beat of the baby being in the wome. You can get it at walmart they are about 22 $'s, but it is worth it. I had to get one for my son. He would eat every hour and a half. Also to she could be gassy you did say, "When you put her back in her bassinet on her back she wakes up." My 2 where very gassy breastfeed babies. You can get over the counter gas drops. Or if she will take a bottle put 4 oz of water and a half peice of pepermint candy in it.

Have you tried giving her some food? cereal maybe, sounds to me like she may just be hungry. I see that you said that you are nursing her, do you pump at all and give her a bottle... I used to nurse and also pump and would put a little rice cereal in the bottle with the pumped breat milk and mine would sleep all night long at that age.. have you attempted to feed her from a spoon yet? If not maybe try to give her some rice cereal.. maybe she needs something warm in her tummy to fill her up she may just one of those babies that needs to have a really full tummy and breast milk alone may not be cutting it for her.. worth a try..

If you are allowing foods for her I would highly reccomend giving her some rice cereal before bed- this will keep her full for quite a long time. You can also just mix a tablespoon of rice cereal in her late night bottle too (you'll need to make the hole in the nipple a bit bigger though- just a heads up). I was quite successful doign this with my daughter who woke up at least 2-3 times a night to eat. I would prepare the bottles (either BM or formula) to be ready to serve- after warmin them up I would add the cereal and give it a couple good shakes to mix it all up well. Worked every time! Good luck!

HELLO:
It sounds like u are having a hard time with your baby!!! My daughter is almost 4 mos. old and she has just started sleeping thru the night...um I am not breast feeding her, but I have found if I keep her up ALOT during the day she will sleep at night and if I play with her and keep her stimulated...I hope this helps...
J.

Hello I was thinking maybe your daughter just isn't sleeping very well in the bassinet. Maybe she is to big and just can't get confortable. This was the situation with my son. He slept so much better in his crib. Since I wasn't ready to put him in his own room we just put his crib up in our bedroom. I hope this helps and that you find something that works for you. Good luck

Hello there S.,
I think that you really need to move her out of her bassinet and into a crib. She probably isnt sleep well because she is getting bigger and probably trying to move around at night and has no room to do so therefore waking her up several times at night. I have five children and that has been my experience. I think that she is more then ready for the crib! Try it, youll be surprised at how much more sleep youll get! Good luck S. I hope this helps you!
M.

try getting a bassient that lets her sleep right next to you but not in the same bed and I had this same problem with my son and the only way is to sleep when she is a asleep or put the bottle in with her to get her back to sleep or try a pacifer

Hello, we went through exactly what you are describing with our son, at 5 months as well. I understand that you want to sleep, and also that you aren't ready to let her cry it out. We tried a moderate approach, (eventually) where first we moved him to his own room. Then, if he was fed, dry and didn't need anything, but simply wanted us, we (gulp) let him cry. 5 min of crying, followed by a short visit to his room to reassure him, and every 5 to 10 min after that, just checking on him, and letting him know we were still responding to him. We started this at 5 months, I caved, my husband caved, and no one got any sleep (baby included) for several months. At 9 months, we'd had ENOUGH of the insanity of sleeplessness, and let him cry it out. We bought ear plugs, and felt really bad, but after a week of consistently doing the same thing, he slept better, and so did we. I hope that you can do what I couldn't at 5 months, and go easy on yourself when baby cries for you. We got a lot of comfort from his dr. who said we weren't monsters for not feeding him in the middle of the night. In fact, she said that we were encouraging and training him to awaken in the middle of the night when we offered a bottle for the 2am feeding. Hope this helps
PS If you are able, NAP when baby naps. This is not fun, but helps your mood so much!!! Even 20 min helped me.

Hi S.,

I know it's tough but this is motherhood. Some babies are just harder. My son is 14 months now and has slept through the night maybe 10 times randomly since 3 months old. I put him to bed at 8pm and he usually wakes up in about an hour or two. Sometimes I put him back down in his crib, other times I take him to bed with me (which can be uncomfortable I agree, but he ususally sleeps through the night then). At 5 months old my son still wanted to nurse a couple times a night too, he didn't quit nursing at night until I weaned him from the breast to formula at 9 months (we had a couple of rough nights with a lot of screaming and little sleep but he got the message and no longer wants to be fed at night). Against my instincts I tried letting my son cry himself to sleep more than a few times, but that never worked and I hated it anyway. And on that note, I agree with some others about the Babywise book - it's awful, it advocates letting them cry themselves to sleep. I have tried a lot of things with my son, none of them have worked, so I have resolved myself to the fact that he will sleep through the night on his own when he is ready. As for what others have said, it is true that babies will wake more when they are teething, learning something new, etc. One thing I would suggest is to make sure she is getting a full feeding before bed - if she falls asleep at the breast, wake her up and make she sure she nurses on both sides for at least 10-15 minutes each. I think she's too young right now but maybe in 2-3 months you can try cutting off the nighttime feedings - it'll be hard and she'll scream for a couple nights but she'll get over it. Also, how about Daddy, can he go to her at night? She doesn't connect him with food so that might help. And don't worry so much about sleep - I haven't had a full night's sleep since before my son was born and I'm doing fine. You'll adjust. And when she's ready, she'll sleep through the night on her own. I hope my experience helps you a little. Hope your holidays were Merry.

We moved my daughter into her crib around 4 months and she actually slept better in there. I don't know why, some babies just do better on their own. She might sense your frustration at night too, which would make her restless. Babies are VERY sensitive to that kind of thing. I would try moving her to her crib and see how it goes. My daughter is 8 months and I've only tried the cry it out thing once. She was asleep within 5 minutes. It was a very painful few minutes but in the end it was better for us both.

Best of luck.
J.

let her sleep in your bed with you. I let my first one sleep with me for almost a year just to get sleep. Since you are nursing like I was it will be easier.let her nurse as long as she would like in bed laying down on your side, then if you wake up roll over and place her on the other side.

Hi S.,

Unlike the previous response to your question given below, which i'm assuming might have overwhelmed you more than actually offering you some reassurance of your situation, I will not offer you a text, just personal experience. :)

Unfortunetly there some which think that texted solutions are better than listening to your own mom instinct. These individuals should realize and remember that there are many styles of parenting. Just you remember, that there is no such thing as a perfect "by the book" parenting style.

I personally have a 16th month old and am also returning to graduate school for my MBA in the week to come, while being a full-time career mom. When it comes to your sanity, your well-being, and your hunger for advancement in your career, it's hard to make the transition from catering to all of your child's needs to also involving non-mommy extras.

My little guy went through the same stage at about the same age, he was a sound sleeper before that. I too was one to bring him to bed with me, and then, came the sleepless nights. The only way I was going to function at work (upon returning from my maternity leave) was going to require me letting him learn to soothe himself back to sleep. I would stay in his room with him and sleep in a rocking chair with my hand on his tummy so he'd know I was there. After I could tell he was drifting back into lala land, I'd take me hand off, he'd wake up and start crying, i would talk to him a little and sing to him, letting him know I was there but wouldn't pick him up. The first night he cried for about 10-15 min. then dozed off back to sleep. The second night it was more like 5-10 min. and by the 3rd night he was fine, as soon as he knew I was there, and heard me, he'd snuggle up and curl his little legs in and fall back asleep.

Oh yes, I would also play some Baby Einstein Classical Music for him as he fell asleep and put a little night light in his room as well. Now he's a sound sleeper, and loves me just as much as he ever did, if not even more! His love for me and dad, whom by the way was and is extremely supportive, clearly shows in his mannerisms of just coming up to us out of the blue and generously disperses hugs and kisses! Moral of the story, your kids will love you unconditionally given you comfort and love them back, so NO, you will not be a "bad" parent for helping him/ her learn to soothe themselves to sleep!

Obviously I did not physcologically damage my child because as soon as he gets and ouchie or anything like that, he turns to dad and I, and knows we will pick him up, love him and comfort him! :)

Hope this helps and good look w/ school!

These first months are very trying times for us all. My daughter Sam, now 6, was the same way. She wanted to nurse every 45-90min. even at night. I was so sleep deprived at that time, and I am sure I wasn't too healthy either, with her needs being so constant I did not eat correctly, and as a first time mom this whole situation caused me much stress. I know I am rambling, but there is a method here......Stress for mom is stress for baby. I know it seems like a never ending cycle, but as mom you have to break it. When you put the baby down, let her know that it is bedtime and that you will see her soon. I even tell my son, 6 mo., how long it will be before I check on him. This reassures not only the baby, but ourselves as well. Now that the baby is down you get some time to relax. Take a soothing bath, whatever it takes to get rid of the stress. No stress for you is no stress for her. The little ones depend on Mommy to be their strength, and if mom is having a bad time they tend to get a little freaked out. This is not an instant solution, but give it a chance and you will see the differance. Besides stress free is so much more health for us all! Good Luck!

Hey there!

Two things... the Babywise book is a GODSEND!!! You don't have to follow everything in it, but it does make some very key points. The second thing, I don't know what position you put your baby in when she sleeps but I did the "on her back only!" until she was 6 weeks. One night I made some extremely runny cereal (more breast milk than cereal) let her mess with the spoon and put her on her TUMMY that night and she slept for 6 hours straight!!!! Granted, I was checking her every hour to make sure she was fine but she slept fine. At 8 weeks she was in her crib in her own room.

Your baby is much older than mine was at that point so I don't know what it will do for you but try it if your comfortable.

Hi S.,
I'm having the same problem as you, and doing pretty much the same thing - except my daughter is 11 months. Someone told me about the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" book by Elizabeth Pantley and William Sears. I know that I can't "Ferberize" my child by letting her cry herself to sleep, and I've had several people swear by this book. You might want to look into it.

hi i had the same problem when my son was young. i figured out the he didnt like his bassinet because he couldnt see out of it. i put his crib close to my bed so he could see me and slowly eased him into sleeping in it and it helped alot. that might help your baby, its worth a try.
good luck,C.

S.,
I sympathize with you! My son was like this off and on until he was almost a year old. I have never let him cry it out yet (he is now 14 months old) and am so glad for my decision.
I would say to find a co-sleeping situation that works well for the two of you and do that. If you're away at school your daughter will probably want that extra time with you and may demand it by waking up more at night. My husband and I exclusively co-slept with our son until he was three months old and he has been in his crib in our room ever since. We still end up co-sleeping quite often and have both become quite used to it and all three of us now sleep well in bed together! I have friends who took the side rail of their crib off and pushed the crib up against the bed; there's also co-sleepers you can buy that essentially do the same thing.
I'm assuming that the daughter's father is around, due to you being a stepmom--if so, it has worked wonders for us to have my husband take my son when he wakes up at 3 am, instead of me breastfeeding. My son has learned that he's not going to get the boob every time he wakes up, but yet he's still being comforted back to sleep by someone he loves. I can't really do this, as he knows I have food! However, your daughter is only 5 months old--she still may be needing these feedings, espcially if she's going through a growth spurt.
Good look! I know it's hard, but I know I look back and am so glad for the decisions I made with our son! And he's finally sleeping through the night, with an exception here and there. :) And coffee has been my best friend in the morning and not affected our breastfeeding, so I would say to indulge yourself in a cup before class!
The Dr. Sears books are great, BTW, I saw someone else had recommended them below. They explain how a baby's sleep cycles work, and that info alone helped us a lot.

She needs to learn how to put herself to sleep, instead of nursing to fall asleep. I would start teaching her this with naps. Nurse her before the nap, if that's what your normally do, but if she falls asleep wake her up before you lay her down for her nap. That way you know she is tired and the last thing she sees before falling asleep is that she is in her crib/basinet instead of cuddled up next to mommy. Once she learns how to put herself to sleep life will be so much easier for both of you. Also, I don't recommend skipping naps, or keeping her awake as much as possible during the day. Overly tired babies and children have a hard time getting into a restful sleep at night.

My Daughter is 9Mo old and she goes through peroids of sleeping thorugh the night and wakeing every 2-3 hours. What I have been told by my Ped. and from what I have read that is very normal. Babies may start waking up more often when they are teething or when they learn new skills like sitting up, crawling or walking. Another possible reason that she is not sleeping well could also be her naptime, some babies if they don't get enough of a nap actually sleep worse than those that do. I know this is more just information but sometimes it helps to know what could be the problem.

My younger son is 1 and a half and he went through a similar time of waking several times a night to feed. At 6 months old I finaly did move him to a crib. We started a bed-time routine and he was not happy about sleeping in the crib(at first). When he woke in the night I would wake up too and watch the clock. I told myself "give him five minutes and see what he does". So I did and if he went past the five minute mark I'd go in and soothe him (but left him in the crib). Then I'd go back to bed. We repeated this process for a few weeks. After a while, the wakings got less and less and the crying was less, too. Now he sleeps through the night with almost no problems. I hope this idea helps. Best of luck to you!

I would suggest giving your baby some formula after your 1st nursing. At 5 months she should probley be nursing longer than 15 minutes. My daughter was a great nurser but my new son will fall asleep after 5 minutes or so and you think he is happy and full but he is just comfortable. If you give her formula she will be full and will sleep longer. Most likley she is just wanting to be comfortable at you breast. It isn't bad to suppliment a bottle at night time and you will be able to sleep!! Let us know how it goes!! --- R.

wow awesomme you are the first person on here i've seen from La Grande! Do you go to EOU? I have 4 children a 7 month old, a 4yr old, and an adopted 9 year old. all girls. i also go to school, myself i was unable to breastfeed and go to school, it just seemed too much for me, so good for you! i'm still trying to get my baby to sleep in her crib too, but i have found that i get more sleep by putting her in her crib at the beginning of the night and then i just bring her into bed with me and she sleeps the whole night through. I did this with my 2 yr old when she was a baby and eventually she just started sleeping throught the night, I think she just liked the security of knowing that I would get her if she needed me. Also since it cuts down on the amount of times I gets up in the middle of the night I get a lot more sleep. I hope this helps.

For me, I had the same problem. This is what I did: I placed his bassinet in the crib and gradually weaned him from it. Also, i would rock him to sleep and put him down in the crib with him slightly on his side and laid a soft blanket on him. And if that did not work i would put my hand on his back and gently stroke his back and let him know ai was her for him. I don't kow if this will work for but its a shot.

someone may have already said this but.. this worked for me, it gave me at least 1 or 2 more hours.. feed her first then give a bath..is she eating 2nd foods yet... if not then you might want to start her on it.. talk to you doctor first, because you are breast feeding..i was BF up until 4 months.. then i had to stop.. my daughter is now 7 months..ohhh... if she can take a bottle.. express some milk into a bottle then give a big dose of milk... that might fill her up better then the breast( we don't have oz measurements on our boobs) haha that way you know how much she is getting...

Im new to this site so 1st i will say hi to everyone. I will start by saying that im not a believer in children sleeping in the same room as their parents, both my sons slept in their own rooms as soon as they came home from the hospital. My mum taught me that it is ok to make noise while baby is sleeping, if they dont get used to it then they will wake up at every little sound. I have been having a hard time with my 6 month old waking up at night, while mum was visiting me she told me I was keeping him up too late, so I started giving him a bath and feed by 7pm then put him down for the night, he listens to his mobile, talks to himself, does whatever he wants in his own room then falls asleep. The real key was before I go to bed at 10:30-11pm even if he is still asleep I would wake him for a feed change his diaper then put him back to bed.if you do this without talking to him and keep the room dark baby shouldnt really wake up and so will fall back to sleep easily.
Since I have been doing this he has been sleeping through the night.
I hope this helps.

I have three children including a 2 month old. I put my baby in his crib wrapped up tight and I put on his Fisher Price toy which plays music has a gentle motion and a soft light. He loves it and will stare at it until he falls a sleep. Keep night time boring for her do not talk to her or amuse her, don't even change her diaper unless it is poopy or she has a rash. If she is sleeping in your room try moving her into her own room that way you do not hear every peep she make and maybe she will fall back asleep on her own. It will be very hard to do but if worse comes to worse let her cry herself to sleep and she will soon figure out that night time is for sleeping by her self not with mommy. Good luck!

I had the same problem with my son. something that i tried and had work well is to make sure your baby is wraped up snug in a blanket before laying her down and have some kind of background noise. having a fan on seemed to keep him from waking at every noise. since it is still cold out you could try getting one of the new teddy bears that have the heart beat sound or anything that has a low hum or swishing sound. Both my son and daughter loved to hear the sound of their heart beat bears, they are a little expensive but if you have the money they are worth it, or you could do what i did and search the second hand shops, the ones for kids clothes and things are popping up all over. good luck. and sweet dreams.
P.

Oh those are not fun times, my Son was in the Hospital until he was 1 month old because he was a Preemie, when we took him Home he would wake up every three hours to eat. I would suggest to see if maybe she's not comfortable or if it is too hot or cold or maybe she's not eatting enough. I understand what you are going through I worried about that too when I had to go back to Work. Babies normally wake up in the Middle of the night until they turn 1. Luckily for me my Son started sleeping through the night at 6 months. Maybe you may want to give her Formula, I know it may be too soon but it stays heavier and longer in the Stomach if not eatting enough is the case, Good Luck.

I have a 4 month old who was doing the same thing 2 months ago. I had to let him cry it out for about a week and now all I have to do is bath at 6:30 bottle then lay him in his bed still awake and turn on music with in 5 min he is asleep and wakes up at 6am. Hope this helps!

Limit the time she sleeps during the day. It's not easy at first and will take about 2 weeks to get her into this routine. My first child, a girl, slept all the time and it was relatively easy with her until my second child, a BOY, came along 2 1/2 yrs later and WHOA was I in for a surprise!!! I didn't have it easy at all with him. He was constantly hungry, hyper, etc., etc., etc. I was tired all the time and it was HORRIBLE! I couldn't get any sleep at all, especially at night. I figured out that he was sleeping way too much during the day and I was feeding him too late in the evening among tip toeing around him during the day when he was asleep. I figured out that what I did with my first child was pretty good and decided to do the same with him. IT WORKED! Find ways to entertain him during the day and try to keep him on a schedule when it comes to going to sleep, eating, playing and pretty much everything else. Don't tip toe around her when she's asleep. Make noise as you usually do, play your music or TV loud like you normally would and basically go about your day as you always did before. It's not easy at first, but trust me in the end you'll be able to sleep.