Need Planning Advice for My Sister's Baby Shower

If you don't want to do a "game" here is an idea. Fill a bowl full of wrapped candy (kisses, mini choc. bars, etc.) and during the normal game time, pass the bowl around and have your guest take as many as they would like, you can say up to 5 pieces if you want to put a limit on it. Once everyone iss finished then reveal the rule. For each piece of candy they must share advice or words of wisdom of motherhood to the guest of honor. This can bring on some laughs and break the ice a bit and keep things moving and keep everyone involved. I have done this for bridal and baby showers, it's a good time filler for those who don't want the cheesy shower games. This way the things that are said is not totally focused on your or anyone who might be helping you. If someone does say something to offend her, it will not be your fault. And to be honest, bottom line, you can't pretend the death didn't happen. Maybe you shoiuld ackowledge it, or say something personally before the festivities and let her know you are trying to be careful and you don't want to hurt her or make her upset about the past, but that would be like pretending that little angel didn't ever exist. And that is more of an insult. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

L.,

Your sister is lucky to have you! It's great that you are so sensitive to her situation! Try talking to her and see what she is comfortable with.

The only shower game I found that was remotely fun, was to have everyone wear a diaper pin, and anytime anyone hears another guest say the word BABY they get to take the diaper pin. The one with the most diaper pins at the end of the shower WINS the prize - which was a cute basket of stuff for the BABY...then Mom gets a cool gift, cause it was all for fun anyway.

Good luck and have fun!

N.
www.lovems1.etsy.com

2 moms found this helpful

Since you know there might be issues, I would schedule the baby shower for AFTER the baby is born, once the baby is a couple weeks old. That way, if (heaven forbid), you need to cancel it, you can. There is nothing worse then having to sort through a bunch of baby stuff that you don't need. Hopefully, that won't be a problem but it doesn't hurt to plan for it just incase. And babies don't really need all that much for the first little bit. As long as she has some of the basics, she can get by without all the "stuff" for a couple weeks.

I just did a baby shower for my SIL and we had two games that everyone loved. One was a matching game where you have a baby related word that matches the name of a candy ie. Hospital bill matches 100 Grande, Epidural matches Lifesaver, that kind of thing. The other game is a guessing game. You put a bunch of small baby items like baby nail clippers, rattle, washclothe, those kinds of things in paper bags and everyone has to guess what is in the bag. The new mommy then gets to keep all the things in the bags. You can do a google search for baby shower games and come up with a lot of ideas. Good luck with the shower and to your sister with her pregnancy!

1 mom found this helpful

Another respondent mentioned focus on the mother. I think this is a great thing. Some people do alternatives to showers called Mother Blessings or Blessingways.

The mother blessing focuses on doing things to pamper the mother. If you do the full thing, you would really do this for an intimate group of family and friends. At some Mother Blessings they massage the mother; do hair brushing, foot washing etc., belly/birth art. You really could do whatever your sister is comfortable with. Here people would bring gifts for the mother. You would have an intimate space maybe with candles, etc. Healthy food. Something low key and relaxing. There are some web sites out there focusing on this type of things. If your sister is in as you say "a fragile" state maybe it would be a good way to pamper her as the mother and give her encouraging support. At some mother blessings, the participants might each bring a bead or bauble to make a blessing basket or a bracelet. If anyone is into scrapbooking, you could have each participant bring something to put into a future baby book. There are other projects you could do as well.

I volunteer with a birth support group since none of us know each other very well we do these for expectant mothers and leave off the massage etc and focus on sharing positive messages, prayers, and poems with the mother to be. We might also incorporate a birth basket project or the bracelet. You really can do whatever you want with these ideas. If it is an intimate group you would do more than a group that is not as close.

With my "baby shower", we did a non traditional "coed" baby shower. We BBQd in the back yard. (Obviously December is not the best time for this.) I think we did the traditonal word games and guess the date game. We also had a guess the baby food game where I got to feed my husband different baby food. His friend filled a pinyata with different baby safety items. They had disposable cameras setting out everywhere (these are probably becoming more obsolete) so that everyone could take candid shots of the event. I personally hate showers and games but this was fun and really memorable for me. We also had a book out that everyone got to sign and fill in with their personal advice about parenthood. This is still fun to look at.

Good luck

1 mom found this helpful

I really don't think most people like the games anyway! My suggestion would be to focus the party on MOM - make her feel like the most loved, pampered, every-need-attended-to person in the world! You are, of course, celebrating the upcoming arrival - but focusing on that will inevitably lead to thoughts of her angel sister.

If you really want a game, how about something like a 20-questions about "How well do you know pregnant momma?" Find out ahead of time what she's been craving, what her biggest physical complaint is, what daddy-to-be has done to help or annoy, what maternity outfit she looks forward to burning when she's done w/ it, who was the 1st non-family person to know about the pregnancy, what she loves most about being pregnant, etc.

Good luck! And, remember - there's always the possibility someone WILL say something insensitive at the shower. That will NOT be your fault, so don't beat yourself up if it happens!

1 mom found this helpful

Obviously she will feel sentimental and will need others to be sensitive because of what has happened in the past. However, I wouldn't hold back your joy or excitement for the new baby that's on the way. What happened a long time ago is never forgotten but God has chosen to bless her again and that should still be celebrated.

A game you could play is the "baby food" taste test game. You'll need to get several different jars of baby food and write down which is which then tear all the labels off and number the jars on the bottom with a Sharpie. Everyone gets a baby spoon to taste them and whoever has the most right guesses wins. You'll still be able to play baby shower games as long as you steer clear of ones that focus on the baby but rather focus on Mom and the joy of pregnancy.

Good luck and have fun! You are a wonderful sister and obviously thoughtful too but just remember God is in control and He's got your back (and your sister's too)!

I also wanted to add that it's okay to acknowledge the first baby. The fact is...this baby does not replace the first one she lost...this is just a separate pregnancy that God has blessed her with. And, obviously she wanted more children so just focus on the positive and if someone else does say something "off color" than it's not your responsibility. She may feel a bit sad no matter what is said or done or she could surprise you and feel like this is a new chance. The people you're inviting to the shower I'm sure would not purposely say something hurtful anyway. It'll all work out!

1 mom found this helpful

L.-

You are right to tread lightly with the baby shower, but good for you for putting one together for her! I would think about what her previous shower entailed and make it the COMPLETE opposite. If the previous shower was all pink with typical baby shower games and finger foods, make this one different - theme it based on what the babies' room will be in (if she knows that) or make it fun and funky (maybe hot pink/black) and play games that you did not play the previous time. Also, serve completelly different food. If last time you did hors douvers and finger foods, thsi time do a sit down lunch/dinner. Make mocktails for everyone if you did punch last time. Overall, just make it as different as before so she doesn't think 'this is just like last time.' Undoubtly, she will think of her baby at some point during/before/after the shower. Sit down with her and ask questions - what do you want this shower to have? What do you not want this shower to have? I think she'll be truly appreciative that you are making such an effort to not only make it special but to ensure she is not hurt/upset in the process because of her loss.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I say stick to games that are fun but do not involve the mommy to be or baby to be as part of the game mechanics. The three most memorable baby shower games I recall are 1. Guess the flavor of baby food, all this takes is a few jars of baby food, cover the labels and everyone gets like a popsicle stick ( you can buy them at Michaels or other craft store) and they get to take one taste and write the guess down, person with most correct answers wins ( no double dipping = )
2.The baby item price is right, you have things like a package of diapers, a container of wet wipes, a bottle of Dreft baby detergent ( you get the idea) and people have to guess the prices.
3. Fill a basket full of odds and ends baby items can be anything, just as long as they are something a baby could use, I have seen toys, spoons, bottles, bibs, even a thermometer in these kinds of baskets, everyone gets so much time and then they have to write everything from memory...and again at the end its a nice present for the mommy to be = )
I hope everything goes well, it should be a time of celebration, you are such a sweet heart to be being so careful, I hope you are not carrying any guilt with you there was no way you could have known ((hugs))
B.

1 mom found this helpful

What we did at my baby shower, which I loved, is we got different sizes of white onesies and some fabric paint. We ate food and made the baby onesies. We didn't play any games, but strategically placed different colors at different tables so that they would have to mingle to find the color they were looking for. You have to let them dry for awhile, so your sister might not be able to take them all home that day, but she will think of the person that made it each time the baby wears it. Just a thought...

1 mom found this helpful

1) 'Guess the Poo Game'. Get some inexpensive diapers and 6 varieties of baby food. Next label the diapers 1 through 6. Plop baby food in the diaper making sure you keep a master list of which baby food flavor you put in which numbered diaper. That was fun.
2) We also dressed up the chair for the momma to be and informed anyone else that if they sat on the chair they were gonna get pregnant. A few of us sat in the chair for fun.
3) Make up a list of what would be in a purse. The one matching the most items on the list wins.
4) How many jelly/skittles are in the jar game.

good luck with the games and i will keep your sister in my thoughts for a good outcome.

1 mom found this helpful

I personally hate shower games. I hated them at my own shower and I don't like to play them at other showers. I know your sister is in an emotionally trying place. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your sister, but if it were my sister, I would ask her. Unless you are planning this as a surprise, it may be best to ask her. Do you know if she even wants a shower? I have heard of doing silent showers where people can send gifts and gift cards. The babies r us even lets you order stuff so that th mom to be can pick it up at the store. I would just have an open conversation with her asking how she feels and what she does and doesn't want. I wouldn't worry about making a stupid comment. She knows you wouldn't say or do anything to hurt her. I sometimes think when I worry about those kinds of things is when I end up saying something insensitive. Good luck. I hope everything turns out well!

Here is a web site that I have used it is www.babyshowerstuff.com. Some of the games that I have played is to put baby items in a diaper bag and have every one write down how ever many things that you might have in the diaper bag. The one who has the most correct answers wins. I usually tell them how many items I have put in the bag. Then as I pull the items out of the diaper bag I have them write down the price of each item. Again the one who has the most right wins. The new mom gets the diaper bag and all the gifts inside. This is just two easy games. Some of the things that I put inside are a few diapers (I have the rest of the package close so that they can see it when it comes to writing down the price), a package of Huggie disposible changing pads, a package of travel wipes, a rattle or some other kind of toy, a bottle, an outfit, some kind of diaper rash medicine like A&D. I try to come up with about 10 items to put in the bag as well as one or two of the items be for mom (like a bottle of her favorite lotion or a coupon book for babysitting, diaper changes, clean the house, cook a meal or whatever else mom might be able to use). I also went to a shower for my SIL that they made the games all on paper cut into the shape of a bib. I do not remeber any of the games right now but know that I kept it because I helped to do a shower just a couple of months later. If you are interested in them email me and I will try to get them to you.
Good luck.
L.

I would personally ask her to help you with ideas, not the following thru of them, but what she would like to do. This way you know exactly what she is thinking and she will say no to any idea that may upset her right up front before the shower even happens.

An idea might be to throw a couples shower and offer small apps and just a time of gathering to offer support and gifts, but with no games involved.

L.,
Perhaps it would be best to sit down with your sister and share your heart with her. When you express your desire to celebrate her and her daughter without being insensitive about her first daughter, she will hopefully be able to tell you what phrases, games, and activities to avoid. She may also want to have some sort of tribute to her first daughter there, maybe a boquet of pink flowers or something. I think communication is going to be the key to making sure you're as sensitive as she needs you to be. As far as activities go, perhaps a welcome book for the new baby/mom. Use index cards (or something fancier) and let guests write encouragement or blessings for your sister and/or the baby, and pair it with a photo of your sister and each guest, taken at the shower. I have a book like this and it's a treasure. You sound like a wonderful sister! Best of luck in your planning!

Of course you should play games! I could list you a few that I have done, but what I always found best was to get online and search for a few. Depends on the age of your crowd and also how "involved" they are as to what games to play. I would plan this baby shower as her first, don't leave out games and act as normally as your would with any other shower, if you don't then your sister will know exactly why. Does that make sense?

I don't have game right at this moment, but something that would be good. it on the invite ask people to write some good adivce or just encourging to her. you could have a book at the shower and pass it around before you start the shower or have the m write it before and you put it in a keepsake book for. you don't have to playa game. you can something put it in a jar and have them guess how much is in there. but the adivce or encourge words are also something you need with that first one!! just make extra specail for her. you can do it without spending alot of money!! good luck!!

L., Just a thought but why not have a shower/party after the baby is born. I would talk to your sister and ask her if this is something she would prefer and then make it a fun party. I just went to one where we did not play games instead we decorated a piece of cloth that was to be used for spit ups or whatever. Some have decorated onesies. Use stencils, fabric pens and paint it was fun. Good luck!

Sorry I am late getting in on this but you may not remember the old standard was the dirty diaper that was something in the napkin that was shaped into a diaper with safety pin an had tobacoo or anything you can put a little something of in it to represent the dirty diaper, also the clothespin thing where all guests got a clothespin clipped on them an then had it taken away by another guest if they crossed their legs, person with the most pins won after a alotted time.

It's not really a game, but with Jordan Essentials we do hand spas and foot spas. The mother to be can go thru the catalog and pick items they like. Guest can purchase items for the Mom and also themselves , then the mother gets item for free as the "hostess".
Jordan Essentials is all natural and is made in Nixa Mo. Check out my website www.jordanrep.com/11612
Let me know if you would like more info.