18 answers

Need More Romance from My husband...help!! PlEaSe!?

I have been married to my husband for almost 9 years but we have been togeather since we were 16 (we're 31 years old now). In the very beginning, he was romanic. But over time, the romace has stopped. I know he loves me, but I need time with him...quality time. What do I do to get some romance put back in our relationship on very lttle funding? I miss my husband and i miss our private time togeather. We have a 10 year old son and a 13 year old daughter with some mental health special needs, so I am exhausted and I just need my husband to bring back the romance. I miss it, and I deserve it!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Have you talked to him about this yet? If not just sit him down and tell him how you feel maybe he just doesn't realize. Also something i did with my fiance was i made him a list of romantic things that he could do for me big and small because he just didn't have aclue how to be romantic or what i wanted. Since then He has done a few things on the list. Even though they were small they were still nice and it has helped. Sometimes men just need to know what they can do for you. I hope this helps!

More Answers

Maybe you could plan a surprise date and ask him out with a note on the bathroom mirror or in his wallet some night or morning when he is in the shower. Take a shower together. Remember to "date" each other. That should never stop. Mark your calender and make a date at least once a month or once a week as your schedules allow.I know many women who went and bought wigs diffent colors and lengths then their hair and their husbands loved it. To each his own. Its you only different...Don't knock it till you try it. These women are now married to their husbands for 50 plus years and their husbands still get jealous! Every 3 years we evolve into different people in a sense, and you have to reinvest in important relationships. Remember the positive things about him and say these to him often. Everyone loves to hear their own name with a compliment added to it. We are all the same. We want to give love , receive love, feel appreciated, cherished. Respect and Love and some mutual fun times and hobbies , conversations alone without kiddies make for a good relationship. It is my opinion only. Send him something he likes~ in the mail at his job with a personal note and see if he can run with the idea and do the same for you or whatever it is you want him to be like or do for you, initiate that with him and he may learn to do the same for you! It's like the boomarang effect. We reap what we sow, what goes around comes around...

3 moms found this helpful

This is what we just decided to do with my friend (we both felt the lack of romance in our marriges). They have two kids, we have two. Second Friday of each month we take turns in one couple having a "date" and another having sleepover for all four kids. Kids are happy and parents get their romance going....

2 moms found this helpful

Well I think it is so refreshing to see a woman who is so busy still be so into her husband good for you :)

So it sounds like your just needing a little of his attention? How about sending little notes with him in his lunch, or hide them in his car, pocket etc. open up that dialog that we all miss when we are so busy with life and kids. Maybe on a Friday night you can have your kids spend the night with family and you can fix his fav. meal. Watch a fav. movie or start a fire if you have a fire place. And also unless your apposed to drinking, a nice bottle of inexpensive wine with maybe a pasta dinner will make you and your husband feel relaxed, at ease and just having that special date night together will be great. Does he have a fav. hairdo on you? Maybe a fav. outfit?? Have fun with it.
* Remember date night Friday or Saturday night ;)

Jen

1 mom found this helpful

Make a game out of it, put things you used to do when you first started dating in a hat or a bowl, and take turns drawing something out of the hat. It may not be romantic but it will put the spontanaity back into the relationship. And I think that when you get reconnected through that, there may be a little romance on the way.
If you want ramonce right away, who says the man has to do it. Buy his favorite candies or something and have them delivered to him at work by a friend or someone and send it with a fun picture of you that will hint to what you have planned for the evening. Have him come home to a nice meal and candle light. Hopefully you have someone that will take the kids just for the night. Maybe he will like it so much he will surpride you next time.
Good luck

1 mom found this helpful

There are a lot of things you can do with little money. If you can take your kids to someone elses house make a little picnic in your living room. Or do a candle lit dinner with his favorite foods. Its getting cold now but the 2 of you going for a walk alone, or to a park and just sit and talk. Or go for a drive and go somewhere close you have never been, explore a road you have never gone down. Use your imagination, I can go into other fun things to do that is for adults only but I will let you ask me privately. Not sure if thats what you are asking anyway. My husband and I will just lay in bed and hold each other and not talk about the kids or work, we talk about our dreams and things we wouldnt talk about in front of the kids. No bills, no family, just about us. Hope this helps a little. Good Luck!

A.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi A., I agree with the responces you have gotten already my husband and i have gone through this and we just celebrated 8yr together and have two children. once my husband said to me why is it always up to the men to always anitiate. so i thought about that he was right they can not read our minds although we think they shouls.so i started doing things one time i took lipstick and wrote on his side window of his truck i love you love me he called and told me he thought that was so special. another time at valentines day i waited till he went to sleep i blew up heart balloons and i got him some candy and i put them in his cab of the truck so when he went and left for work he saw all that and he was surprised. he loved it its little things like that. that doesnt cost alot its just being creative. one time i came home from a class the kids were in bed asleep. and when i opened the door all the lights were off he had put a blanket on the floor he had a bouquet of flowers on the floor a bottle of wine with both glasses filled and candles it was so romantic so see when he sees you making an effort he will display it back. even if its something you dont care for lets says never tell him that just seem surprised and he will gget better at it or might ask you for suggestions. but another thing i got a babysitter i went to a restaurant and spoke to the manager and set it up to have candles and i bought my husband a love you gift and had the manager bring it to him with the card he loved that so much. so even now isend i love you notes in his lunch i text him sexy messages i tell him how appreciated that i am for him working so hard for our family. they nees reassurance all the time they like feeling needed. i wish you much luck keep us posted if you would like to e-mail me you can its ____@____.com thanks L. B

1 mom found this helpful

You've gotten some great advice, but being the know it all that I am, I have to add in my two cents as well.

I love my husband dearly, but he is just not a romantic guy on his own. Well, he is, but not in a flowers and poetry kind of way (see that five love languages book). He shows he loves me and tries to be romantic by laying tile for me, or scrubbing the floors.

Something that really helped us a lot was a book entitled "101 nights of Grrreat Romance". It had a bunch of sealed pages with great romantic ideas. Outside of the sealed page, there would be symbols that would give you an idea of how expensive the idea was.

Each Sunday night, we'd each pick a page. We then had until the following Saturday night to do whatever the page told us to do. It was a lot of fun to rekindle the romance.

I also think having a weekly date night is such a good idea. You don't have to spend money. You can go for a walk, go to the park, window shop. Make a rule that you can only spend 15 minutes talking about the kids, and then take the time to talk about other stuff.

Best of luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful

A., I was married to the love of my life for over 20+ years,unfortunately, he passed away 5 years ago. The thing I want you to know is all couples go through times like this. There is usually a 5 year, a 7 year and some past that. We went through a Gary Smalley seminar and it helped so much. If you can't afford something like this, then I'll tell you what we learned. We learned how to communicate. I found that even though it sounds weird, we were both "embarrased" to speak truthfully about our imtimate relationship. I learned that I was just assuming that my husband knew what I wanted from him and what I needed from him. He assumed that I was happy with the status quoe. We learned that in order for both of us to be satisfied and happy, we needed to have our alone time,(get someone close enough to babysit for a night, a friend, grandma?) start with a nice romantic dinner and then sit down, get comfortable and talk, tell him what you need. Tell him how much you love him and what he means to you and tell him that you need to be told that you're beautiful and whatever else it is that you need. My husband found that conversation to be one of our best. He really didn't know. He had no idea how I felt. I, on the other hand really did think he was just being lazy and didn't care. I found that he did care and he was willing to do whatever it was that made me happy because that in turn, made him happy. I wish you luck, marriage it a tricky thing, but in order for it to work smoothly, we first must learn to communicate properly.

1 mom found this helpful

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