Need Help with Sleeping Issue!

Updated on April 09, 2008
B.T. asks from Wilmington, NC
36 answers

I have a seven month old daughter who is still not sleeping through the night. She goes through phases and will sleep anywhere from 2-3 hours at a time to as bad as waking up every 45 minutes to an hour. I am still breastfeeding and when she wakes up she wants to nurse back to sleep but usually once woken up for the first time will not go back to her crib. She just stands up and screams until I hold her. I do not want to let her "cry it out", I don't believe in that method but I have to do something because we are all sleep deprived and most of all she needs her sleep to develop. She is very healthy and the doctor said there is nothing that could be causing her to wake up (ear ache, etc.). Any suggestions??

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.D.

answers from Nashville on

I nursed all four of my children. None of my children slept through the night until they were at least 1 year old. I would nurse them in bed with me. Sometimes I would wake up and put them back in their crib. Other times they would just sleep with me. My oldest child did not sleep through the night until he was 2 years old. He grew fast and he was hungry in the middle of the night. He is 18 now and he is 6 ft tall and weighs 215 pounds. He still sometimes wakes up and gets a glass of milk in the middle of the night. Some kids are just hungry.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.O.

answers from Charleston on

Hi B.,
Here's a method I tried with my youngest daughter and it worked really quickly, within a couple of nights. When she cried, I went in to soothe her for a minute, then told her nite-nite, and left the room to stand in the hall outside her door. She would immediately start crying and I would wait for 60 seconds, then go into the room to quiet her again and soothe her, tell her nite-nite and go back to the hallway. Again she would cry but I would wait 2 minutes this time. You can see the pattern and it seems an eternity while you're waiting, but it really is a very short time span and the baby is not being harmed in any way. She is, however, being conditioned that 1) mommy loves on me a kisses me; 2) mommy says nite-nite and leaves. You'll find that as the time increases, since she's already tired, she'll tire of the "game" rather quickly and start to comfort herself. I only had to do this for a couple of nights (no more than three) and my daughter started going to sleep on her own. I hope this is helpful. If you have any questions don't hesitate to contact me.
P.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.W.

answers from Huntington on

Why rush her? The sooner she sleeps through the night, the sooner your fertility returns. Just plug her in & go back to sleep. she will eventually sleep all night, in her own bed, when she is ready. I don't understand why so many people think that sleeping through the night should be a goal to be strived for, I sure was never in a hurry for that, I loved sleeping with my babies! The goal should be for you to sleep whenever your baby does, if you can't get enough sleep at night. I just slept cuddled up with my baby, and they nursed on and off throughout the night, sometimes I did have to change a diaper, but I kept a few beside the bed, so I could change & nurse the baby without getting out of bed. I often did not even fully awake when I nursed in the middle of the night! Nursing burns a lot of calories, so maybe the reason you're feeling exhausted is more indequate nutrition for the two of you, not really inadequate sleep at all. Make every calorie count, same as when you were pregnant, but moreso, since the baby is now bigger therefore needs more nutrition. Treasure this special time with her while you can! Most of mine (I have seven) started sleeping through the night sometime between 1-2yo.
They were all weaned and sleeping in their own beds well before schoolage!!! (for those who fear they may never get the kid out of the habit, once they get in it)
If they get the love and security they need at that age, they will grow up to be confident, independant adults.

M.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.G.

answers from Raleigh on

I feel for you!

When my daughter was 7-8 months old we were in the exact same situation you are. I could deal with getting up with her every 2-3 hours but once it became every 40 minutes I quickly realized we had to do something. I gave it a few weeks to see if it would work itself out and all that happened was she got a really sleep deprived mommy.

Like you I didn't want to let her cry it out but we ended up having to do a modified cry it out in order for both of us to get some sleep. When she would wake up I would give her 5-10 minutes to figure it out by herself and go back to sleep. After that I would go in and sit on the floor next to her crib. I'd reach through and rub her back or legs if she was laying down. It forced her to make the decision to either stand up and scream or sit or lay down and be closer to me. The first night she cried for an hour, the second night down to 45 minutes, and the third night 10 minutes, and the forth I didn't hear from her until 5am when I got up to nurse her. Now at just over a year she still usually wakes up once to nurse which I am okay with but other than that we are sleeping soundly.

As hard as it was to let her cry I realized that it was what was best for all of us. We both finally got some much needed sleep.

Best of luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.T.

answers from Asheville on

poor mama, you must be so tired! i know. being a mama is hard work for a long time. but what a reward! i bet your dd is super cute.
here's the deal: the person who wrote about the sleep expectations of babies is right-on. heck, *I* don't sleep through the night, and i'm 48. if your baby is crying, go to her. she needs you. at her age, there is no difference between needs and wants.
have you thought of bringing her into your bed? don't worry about all the societal pressure to NOT do that. it's not a bad habit. sleep is sleep. it doesn't matter where anybody sleeps. it matters how comfortable people are. your baby is the one who needs the most comfort right now. bring her to bed and you both will get lots more sleep. most people around the world sleep as a family.
you can nurse while sleeping, believe it or not! i've done it and i never believed it would be possible either.
oh, and someone said your dd is using you as a pacifier-- i was worried about that, too, when my ds was little. then some one told me that that is my *job*, to pacify my little one, and it all clicked into place. of course! it IS my job! i am the comfort source. i am the whole world to my child. especially at that age. i am It. and so are you. it's all good. once you relax and follow your instincts, but especially relax, things will work out. it is more about your attitude (of acceptance) than it is about certain measures or methods. here is a poem for you:

God (or insert diety here if you are not Christian),
Grant me the serenity
to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things i can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

hang in there, mama!
P.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Nashville on

My son was 3 years old before he ever slept through the night, I thought I would never get any sleep. Does she sleep in her own bed. I didn't like to let my son cry it out either, I did that 1 time and I let him cry for about an hour and I thought I was going to go crazy. I went to my bedroom crying. Now he still sleeps in our bed. Witch he is 4 now so its getting kind of hard because he is so long. We are trying to get him in his bed. Anyway just keep trying, Good luck. J.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Nashville on

She is not hungry at this point in her age, you feeding her has become soothing. Sometimes that happens with nursing-you become for lack of a better term-the pacifier. Cry it out is not necessarily just that- you would first check on her-wet, dirty, no fever, just in general making sure for your peace of mind she is ok. Then do it in timed increments as to whatever you can handle. You have to weigh which is more important your sleep and sanity or opinion of a method. She has been checked by the doctor and she is fine, you have to trust that. My daughter went through sep anxiety at 6 mos and I would just go in, check on her in the crib, and pat her back to sleep. She was fine. Good luck.

I am SAHM of 4 yr old little girl. :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from Memphis on

I did not beleive in letting mine cry it out either and I also breastfeed and mine would wake up every night wanting some more. He is 13 months now and occasionally still does it. I think some of it is just in the kid, but I can say that when I changed the last bottle before bed to a formula bottle it helped his sleeping tremendously. I had to do it as I was not making enough milk to keep his bottles full during the day when I was still working so I would give him that one formula bottle a day and pump that milk to fill up the rest of his bottles for the next day. It really did help though. Breast milk just digest so quickly that he would be hungry for more, but the formula stayed in his tummy longer and thus he slept better. Good luck and I promise it gets better.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.W.

answers from Lexington on

Our younger daughter, since early infancy, never slept more than 90 minutes (maximum) at a time. She would doze off day and night... We ultimately used (sort of) the Ferber method at about a year-old. We put a pouch velcroed to her crib with a bottle of water so that she could get out at night and drink if she wanted to. This worked as far as being able to self-soothe and be more independent. I do not regret doing that.

It stopped all the crying for me to come soothe her at night... but it didn't help her to sleep through the night and she continued to have extremely disturbed sleep... which often woke us up... it was similar to night terrors, maybe? But that's a different problem.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.R.

answers from Louisville on

Maybe you could use a breast pump and give your daughter a bottle in bet to go back to sleep instead of getting her out. She knows if she cries you are going to get her out, so break the habit. She will still get fed and loving, just not out of the bed. Maybe she will get used to not getting her way.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.R.

answers from Louisville on

This happened when our daughter was about 7 months old too. Turns out that she had just formed the habit of eating (I was also breastfeeding) whenever she woke up and thought she needed that to get back to sleep. Since she was eating a LOT of solids during the day in addition to breast milk, I knew it wasn't really a hunger thing...just a habit.

Check out the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". It really helped me gradually (over a week or so) help our daughter learn how to put herself back to sleep without crying it out. The book suggests a super-gradual approach...I chose to expedite the process a bit (I went from feeding her, to holding her for a minute without feeding her, to holding her for less and less time, to rubbing her back, to not having to go in). But the book's emphasis on consistency and love rung true with me.

Best of luck!
K.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.C.

answers from Louisville on

B., I too didn't do the "cry it out method" We co-slept instead and we ALL got sleep :)

I found it easy to nurse and then go back to sleep.
We co-slept until my DD was 3 then she was wanting and needing to be in her own big girl bed.
The crib never got used unless I was in the shower. ;)

B., after all she only wants to be with YOU, the one she knows has the magical touch to make all things safe, secure and warm.

I don't know if that is an option for you... but if not, be prepared for the crying.. and she will do it longer and longer each time. Children are resilient and will outlast you most of the time... if they want something. ;)

You will have to see what works for YOU and YOUR family. Don't let anyone tell you differently. There are some safeguards you may want to look into as far as co-sleeping if that is something you chose to do. You can contact me and I will give you some options if you like or you can post another question and see what feedback you get. :)

Remember too that this is only a season and it won't last forever... I miss those days as my DD is now 5 and her big brother is 19.

B., keep in mind too that it adds to the bonding between the two of you and as far as you and your DH... you get to be creative as to where and when you have your 'private' time. ;)
It adds to the spice of things!

D.B.

answers from San Antonio on

She might be teething. They go through such fussiness it seems when those little teeth start coming in.

I have 5 kids and the 'crying it out' method worked every time. If you don't want to do that, then you may be in for longer nights of this. You are setting up a pattern for her to follow and she is going to do it. Once she knows that you wont come and hold her, she'll start to back off with the crying & eventually sleep through the night. Yes there will be nights you swear she wont stop, but she will.

You go in & rub her back, lay her back down, talk sweetly to her, don't turn on the lights or make a lot of noise, but then turn around & leave her in the bed. Don't stay till she's asleep, she needs to fall asleep on her own, but just keep doing this. She'll probably do it all over again...but stay out, increasing the amount of time you're out of the room each time. It works, I can testify to that.

You aren't doing anyone any good by giving in to her crying & holding her. You said she's sleep deprived and no doubt you and your husband are too. And that can cause other problems in a marriage when we are sleep deprived, nerves get very short.

She sounds like a little sweety, I miss mine being that little. Best of luck to you B..

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.F.

answers from Nashville on

B.,
Know this is a hard one. But, I've tried it and other moms have had success w/it. Unfortunately, there is some crying involved. I cried myself. But, the wonders! Relief, at last! You may have heard of it. The Feber method? Anyhow, good luck and I hope you get the sleep you need. A rested mom is a happier mom for you, baby and Daddy.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from Honolulu on

Some babies sleep through the night early and some don't.
It depends on you as to whether you want to take control and help her self sooth in order to go back to sleep or you want to continue to be sleep deprived. When my baby did that at about 4 and 5 months, I was not one to be sleep deprived. I can take it so long and then I get grouchy and hateful and not a good mother to her. So the choice to let her cry for a few minutes during the night to teach her to self sooth was really 'OUR' best and only choice. If you are the kind of mother that can take it and be patient without sleep, you may want to chose to allow her to wake up and nurse. I am sure that she will eventually grow out of it, probably sometime around a yr or so.
I would say that would be your only choices and you have to decide what kind of mother you are and what is best for your baby.
Personally, it was better for me to let her cry for a few minutes, me get my rest, so I could be loving and caring and playful with her during the day.
Good luck, I know you will make the best and the right decision for you and your baby.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.W.

answers from Raleigh on

I am nursing an 8 and 1/2 month old. If I nurse him in the middle of the night, he gets used to the feedings and seems to wake up for them. I have a hard time getting him to go to sleep without nursing him, so my husband ususally gets up with him if he wakes up when he should not be hungry. He can manage to get our son back to sleep without nursing. Is there anyone else who can try to get her back to sleep for you?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Charlotte on

B. -
I am sorry you are having so many sleep issues. We have a 7.5 month old and she has been sleeping through the night since she was 3 months old - we are very very lucky. Some of it has to do with the child's disposition, but here are some thoughts that may or may not be helpful.....and I am not judging you in any way - just offering up some ideas!!!

I breastfed our baby for 4 months, then turned to formula only. But, we supplemented formula for breastmilk throughout her life. The hospital inisisted on giving her formula at first because my milk didn't come in right away. I consider this a blessing.

My point to this is, you should definitely think about giving your daughter formula instead of breastmilk in her last bottle before bed. Your milk supply is likely less filling in the evenings and thus she sounds like she is getting hungry. She also sounds very, very attached to you, so consider having your partner or husband handle more feedings so your child is more independant.

We felt like having our child be adaptable to multiple options - breast milk, formula, pumped milk from a bottle, the easier any transition would be... and it worked. She is now eating cereal and all types of baby food and is happy as a clam.....and sleeps 11 or 12 hours a night!

A happy baby leads to happy parents!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.M.

answers from Nashville on

Just some suggestions: The goal is to have a child that can soothe hrself to a point. I gave a 15 min. limit. I can count on one hand the times I went in past the 15 min. limit. Often he was barely awake crying meanwhile I was wide awake from getting myself all worked up. Now we have a well adjusted 14 mo. old. We used a white noise machine (Homedics $19.99 Walmart) all night every night-It works wonders plus you don't have to be quiet as a mouse when she naps and a barking down won't wake her. When he hears the machine he knows it's night night time. Great when traveling because baby feels at home.
Good Luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from Nashville on

Whoa, this is a smart momma! You know sleep is essential to health (hers and yours), you've ruled out underlying medical causes, and you know "cry it out" is not your parenting style. Excellent!

Mine is also 7 months and breastfed. He stills wakes up to nurse. There's absolutely nothing abnormal about this. I wouldn't push my child to sleep through the night before he was ready, the same way I wouldn't push him to talk early just because it would make my life easier. It wouldn't work and it would just stress us both out.

I tuck mine into bed with me at night. He nurses at will, often without even waking me up. Sometimes he doesn't nurse, he just throws his little arm around my neck - just wants to know I"m close. There is no crying at all, no stress, no guilt. It's WONDERFUL.

I tried to resist the siren call of cosleeping with my older child. We made ourselves crazy with sleep deprivation until I gave in at the age of 10 months. I could kick myself now for holding out so long. Why did I put myself through that?! He finally slept through the night at around 20 or 21 months. So the earlier quotes of between 1-2 years old are about right, in my experience.

Trust your instincts. She can't tell time, and she needs you whether it's daylight or dark. She'll sleep through when she's ready just like every other developmental milestone. And consider cosleeping. It's not our mainstream culture, but, honestly, the best sleeping arrangement is the one in which everyone gets the best SLEEP. And if that's all in a pile on the garage floor or something, SO BE IT.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.A.

answers from Louisville on

I am a mother of three with an 11 month old daughter. I too breastfeed and too have had similar problems. I have found this book that has been tremendous help with all three of my children. The name of the book is:
'Good Night Sleep Tight'
THE SLEEP LADY'S
Gentle Guide To Helping Your Child Go to Sleep, Stay Asleep, And Wake Up Happy
by Kim West with Joanne Kenen

This book has age appropriate routines for teaching your child to sleep. It takes about two weeks to implement the plan but it does work.

I hope this helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Greensboro on

There is a book you might find helpful if you are not up for the cry it out approach.

Good Night, Sleep Tight, by Kim West, great book, I found it so useful with dealing with sleep issues.

I have to also say that I understand it is hard to listen to your precious baby cry, but crying will not harm your child, actually not getting good sleep will. Trust me, one night of crying will lead to many, many nights of sleep, you will see, it may take a night or two since this is a real problem with you but it works and your child will be okay. I know you don't want to hear this, but it is true.

Good luck, hope you are get some sleep.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.M.

answers from Nashville on

I had the same issue with my daughter. I breastfed for a little over a year. My daughter did not sleep through the night, waking up every 2-3 hours or sometimes more often, wanting to nurse to go back to sleep. I continued to do this (even though my doctor told me to let her put herself to sleep). Finally, at one year, I let her cry herself to sleep. It only took two nights and she was sleeping through the night. I didn't like doing it but I wish I had done it sooner because it made our household a lot happier since everyone was getting to sleep through the night.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Greensboro on

Hey B., Girl- I know your extremely give out, emotional, mentally and physically. My son was 8 mths old before he started sleeping throught the night. The whole thing with nursing, you really don't know how much they are getting. So I had to evaluate my son, "is he truly hungry or is he getting up from habit." When mothers are extremely tired, there milk production can decrease. When a baby is nursing the first couple of suckling is the foremilk, basically water, no fat. Which could make your baby hungry more often if thats all there getting. Then before I knew he was rooting on me like he was hungry again. So if you are absolutely sure she is not hungry, it could possibly be habit. I know that mommys want to be there for their babies for anything even if it means getting up in the middle of night twenty times. But sometimes you just have to draw the line. It's not that you don't love your baby, but you need to take care of mommy as well so you can take care of your daughter. After I had by daughter, I fell in love with a book called, "On Becoming Baby Wise" it's very easy to read, it would have to be because I am not a big reader. This book literaly changed by whole thinking about eat, play, sleep pattern and just the whole benefit of this for the baby. I got my daughter sleeping through the night around 13 weeks with breastmilk. At 7 mths, babies really don't need late night feedings, especially if they are eating solids. So when you put her bed and you know she is full or satisfied, she is probably getting up from habit. I was not the "cry it out" type. It sounds like you need to alter the habit. When she wakes up, I would go in there and soothe her by rubbing her back or patting her back, does she have a blanket or something that is special to her. Maybe play a soothing CD. I know its hard, espcially if you have work the next day. I can remember when my son was a baby, everytime I changed him diaper, he thought he was going to eat. Because I would change his diaper right before he would eat, this became habit for him. It's what he expected. Now with my daughter, thanks to this book, I do things alot different now. Try and alter the habit. Hang in there, girl, just like everything else in life, this will pass....

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Denver on

Hey B.
Well, I am right in there with you sister. I have a 6 month old that starts waking up aroung 1 am and from then on its every 30-45 min until 7:30 when our daughter of 2 years comes walking in our room like miss susie sunshine. I´m no longer breast feeding. Stopped at 3 months because I didn´t have enough milk (maybe stress from running after the other little one) but in any case this is what we are trying. Matthew is now bottle feeding with cereal and has fruit during the day at 4 PM. He was eating a bottle at night, so I weaned him from that bottle thinking maybe it was like a habit for him to wake and want to eat. That took about 3 days. So his last bottle now is at 8 PM then he´s in bed at 8:45. I put him to bed awake so that he puts himself to sleep which he does pretty well. Now at night when he wakes, what I´m am trying, instead of bottle or picking him up right away a wait 5 minutes to see if he puts himself back to sleep. If no I go in, without turning on lights or anything and I give him his blankey and a pacifier (I also put other pacifiers in the bed in case he wants to just look for one and put it in himself). Now since you are breasfeeding you may not be into pacifiers but maybe you can try the blankey trick. I say blankey but really its just a soft baby hat so that I´m not worried about suffocation. I don´t pick him up, but I comfort him with one hand one his head and one on his bottom. I´ve heard they feel comforted that way. He´s now sleeping from 8:45 PM to 6 am with his last bottle at 8 PM and the next at 7 am. It´s not perfect, but it seems to help.
Good Luck
S. H

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Lexington on

Hi! My best advice is mixing an 8 oz. bottle with 1/2 formula and 1/2 breast milk before bed. This really helped my daughter to begin sleeping 8-12 hrs. at night. I was strictly breastfeeding for quite some time. When I began adding formula, only before bed, it changed my life...for the better. I would advise testing the formula during the day first to check for an allergic reaction. We had to use Nutramagen because my daughter had a reaction to regular Enfamil. My daughter also went through a phase where she would wake, stand up and do the same thing. We think it was because she didn't know how to get herself back down after she was standing. As far as getting her back to sleep, I strictly followed the Baby Whisperer's method "pick-up, put down". IT REALLY WORKS. It took 4 nights and all was well. I hope this helps. Sincerely, A.
P.S. I'm a 29 year old Stay at home mom.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Greensboro on

I don't know if you had tried this, but it works wonders for my 10 week old. Warm bath with lavender scented soaps. After the bath, make sure you are in a warm room to dress her. It also is important to keep the lights at a minimal and noise level low. After she is dressed for the night, wrap her in a blanket, breast feed until she falls asleep.
I hope it works, like I said, my 10 week old would wake up every 2=3 hours and the bath thing got her to go 6 hours at 7 weeks of age!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Lexington on

B.,
I have 2 children and each was very different with their sleeping. With my first I did eventually let him "cry it out". However, he didn't even cry for 30 min. and he was out. It was torture for me, and the only thing that stopped me from going to get him was my husband setting a time limit, but he was asleep before it hit. After two nights he would put himself to sleep and sleep for 12 hours straight. We never knew exactly what time he woke up either because he would wake up and play quietly in bed until he either got hungry or really wet. My second started at birth where I could not put him into a bed to sleep. The minute I did he would wake up and start crying. The only way I got any sleep with him was to sleep in the rocking chair and hold him. (My husband didn't want to do cosleeping because he is a very deep sleeper and was afraid he'd roll over on the baby). However, they are now both in their own beds at night and are both good sleepers. My advice is to take your feelings and your babys needs into account and do what works best for your family. Maybe try giving some infant cereal before bed (my doctor said it keeps their tummies full longer so they aren't waking up hungry so much). Also develop your own routine for bedtime, this help them begin to recognize that it is time for sleep and they go down much easier. My five year old (my difficult sleeper) watches the same cartoon at bedtime every night and is now asleep within minutes of starting the movie. A routine definitly helps, and while he is much older, they do help with younger children as well.
Best of luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My belief is that YOU know what's best for your daughter, you know your situation and circumstances and your family's beliefs best, so if you don't want to let her "cry it out," then that is YOUR decision! I just always worry when I hear these kinds of questions that maybe others' advice will make you feel bad or guilty for doing it your own way...so just know that there is a full spectrum out there and whatever choice you make should be because it's what's right for YOU, not because you got pressured into it. That goes for people who decide TO cry it out as well as NOT to cry it out, and everything in between.

That being said, there is a great book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley that sounds like something that might be helpful for you...she gives a lot of great advice on things you can do to ease sleeping troubles without crying it out. My son had LOTS of trouble until I read that book, it helped us out SO MUCH! If you try it, I hope it works for you too.

Best of luck to you and your family!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.O.

answers from Jacksonville on

I just finished having this problem with my 9 mo old. When he was around 6 mo we tried the cry it out method and he just refused to give in. So we gave up after an extremely long month! (they say it should take a week at the most typically) We also took him to the doc and asked about ear aches or anything else and he said some babies just refuse to sleep. It didn't help that I was still giving him a bottle every time he woke up just to get him back to sleep as quick as possible. At 8 mo, we tried a different version of the cry it out method. Instead of leaving the room, we sat right next to his crib and let him hold our hand for the first night. Eventually he would just exhaust himself to sleep. Every night you move a little bit farther away from the crib. Its supposed to make you feel better that you can see that nothing is wrong with her and make her feel better that she can still see you. Eventually you're supposed to make it to the doorway. This one didn't work so well for us (he's extremely stubborn!), but thought I'd suggest it for you. In the end, we tried the cry it out method one more time for him about 3 weeks ago, at the end of the first week he slept through the night and then we went on vacation and screwed it all up. When we got back on Tuesday, I started it back up and he's gone to sleep around 830-9 every night, had 2 1-2 hour naps during the day, and we've all slept in until at least 8 and sometimes until 845! I know you don't want to try that mehtod, what sane parent wants to hear their child cry?! But after becoming sleep deprived for almost a year straight, I was starting to become a little insane and willing to try anything and it ended up working for us and I feel better knowing that now he's getting all the sleep he's really been needing. And we have more fun during the day because I'm not a zombie and now he's only fussy from teething and not from teething and sleepiness. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

The best advice my mom ever gave me is, "Don't say anything to a child unless you really mean it." I've reared 4 children (all breastfed for at least a year), and some 'cried it out' easily (1 or 2 nights and it was over) and some it didn't work with at all. Are you making sure she has had a pretty good meal before she goes to bed? If so, she should be ABLE to make it for several hours, whether she WILL or not. She needs to experience your patience and feel secure in your love, but she also needs to know that you're in control. I'd say she can already sense that you're at her 'beck and call', so don't send conflicting messages, or she'll take even longer to learn to sleep all night. Either go one way or the other: DO make her 'cry it out' and stick to your guns, or continue to let her call the shots and don't sweat it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Raleigh on

there are so many books out there that don't require you to let them cry it out. there's the no cry sleep solution which i know a lot of people have used. since your still breast feeding though your daughter may not be getting enough "food". have you started giving her cereal yet? a little cereal before bed may help.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from Louisville on

I don't like the "cry in out " method either. A great alternative is the method described in "Baby Wisperer" by Tracy Hogg. It worked great for me. I am confident it will help you too.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from Jackson on

B., Is she eating solid food? Make sure she is eating enough to satisfy her through the night. Wait until later in the evening to give her supper/dinner. She may need alate night snack, as well.Does your baby take a sippy cup during the day? If she does,give her that instead of nursing her each time back to sleep. You can put water in it,so she can't make a mess with it.
After you have rulled out nothing wrong with her.....Sometimes, honey mothering is hard work, and basicly not fun!
Let her cry..she will learn she is not going to get her way. This is a hard tecnique, but effective. you must get a handle on this now..she will be walking soon and then she will begin climbing out of her crib/toddler bed..then it really gets frustrating! believe me I've had 5 daughters, they are all going to try to get their own way!! Place her in her crib...the crying helps to tire her out (just as much as it does you)Just keep trying, you can wear her out by out lasting her!!! You've got to! Blessings to you and yours, LaDonna

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.P.

answers from Greensboro on

Hi B., I have read a great book that helps with sleeping habits. The Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg. She teaches you about the EASY method. Eat, Activity, Sleep and Y is for You time. This book has been a wealth of information for me, my husband and baby. The book does not promote "crying it out". And it gives some other great tips. At 7 months and just breastfeeding it does sound like your baby may not be getting "enough" to eat during the day. I breast feed also, but had to supplement with formula as he was a growing boy and was not getting enough from me. We started him on cereal once a day at 6 months. He is now 11 months old and has been sleeping through the night 10-12 hours since he was 6 months old. I think you will get a lot of valuable information from the book. good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

I.W.

answers from Greensboro on

Poor momma. I know your pain. I remember all those sleepless nights. It can make you crazy. Rest assured, you are not alone and most important, this is NORMAL. It's completely OK that your baby is not sleeping thru the night. She's not supposed to! She's still too young! Please, please, please go to kellymom.com and read all the wonderful FACT BASED articles they have on infant sleep. And then check out the forum section where moms talk to each other. You'll find out really quick you and your sweet little girl are right where you are supposed to be. Breastfed babies usually don't sleep all night long. Here's two links I found really quick for you, but there are so many more.

http://www.kellymom.com/pantley/pantley03.html

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html
Hree's an excerpt:
"Probably one of the main reasons that babies who don't sleep through the night are such a big issue is that parents don't have realistic expectations of the sleep patterns of babies. Babies were designed to wake up often at night to feed and cuddle, and keep in mind that many adults wake during the night, too. If our expectations for babies were not so different from our babies' expectations for themselves, much of this "problem" might disappear"

This board (Mamasource) is one of my least favorites cause there seem to be so many moms here who encourage Crying It Out, which I soooo disagree with. I can't even get into all the reasons why this is wrong cause I'll talk all day! But your instincts are telling you not to do it, and those are our God given instincts. We have them for a reason.

First of all, "sleeping thru the night" only means 4-5 hours so your little one is almost there on some nights. And kudos to you for refusing to make her cry it out. Trust me on this, I NEVER let my baby CIO and was always available to him when he woke, either to nurse, rock, or cuddle and now at age 2, he sleeps like a rock. He sleeps late, he sleeps long and hard. I get plenty of sleep now. And you will too. It's just not her time yet. Be patient, stay gentle, and one day you'll wake up and realize you've both slept all night.
Hugs and best wishes to you!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.K.

answers from Huntington on

I know you said you don't believe in letting her cry it out, but crying is completely normal for babies, it's what they do! It won't hurt her physically or emotionally. In my opinion, your daughter has gotten into the habit of having to be nursed to sleep. She hasn't learned to soothe herself back to sleep. I breastfeed my son too, so I know how sweet it is to nurse and snuggle your sweet little sleepyhead. Not only is it essential, but it will be such a relief to you when she can calm herself back to sleep instead of you running to her crib every time she cries. I highly recommend a book called Baby Wise. It encourages sleep training and it has worked wonders for us! My son wakes up in the night every once in a while but he usually goes back to sleep without crying. If he does, I don't let him cry very long before I check on him, but I do wait 10-15 minutes. 8 out of 10 times he goes back to sleep without me. He sleeps from 8pm to 8am. Once your daughter learns to go back to sleep on her own you won't have to worry about her crying for you to put her back to sleep. Go get that book!

I also wanted say that sometimes babies wake up in the night because of teething pain. I rub Baby Orajel on my son's gums.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches