Need Help with Potty Training - New Castle, PA

I am a single working mom and I have a 9 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. With my daughter I was deployed overseas with the Army shortly after she turned 2 and her father/my husband at the time just did not have the patience to potty train, she began using pull ups as if they were diapers, once I returned a month before her third birthday the daycare and myself decided to go all out. We put her in regular underwear and insured there were several changes of clothes available if there were any accidents, however she only had two accidents the first seven days, putting her in the regular underwear she understood she no longer could go in them and have someone change it for her. I had also tried stickers and such with her that never really worked.

My son was somewhat the same, me and my husband had gone through a divorce and me and the kids moved clear across the country everything was new, however the daycare he was going to be attending only took children who were potty trained, so a month before I was to begin my new job I just decided to put him in regular underwear he had a few mishaps but within a week he was potty trained. He still has accidents here and there but that is because he is too occupied playing and forgets to go the bathroom. I had also tried using suckers that never worked.

By putting them in regular underwear they realized what they needed to do after a couple of mishaps, it is more workk for us but in the long run it works out for the best. Good luck

Hey - My daughter is 2 1/2,,,just pooped in the potty finally. Did the same thing your daughter is doing. I did not make the big deal - but it was driving me nuts. Always just took her for pee...She would ask for a pullup for her poop - after two weeks of that ...all pull ups disapeared...She finally ran to the bathroom and hopped up on the stool to the toilet -There was the poop ....All done with that scenario ...Pull ups are gone ...get rid of them - All panties even at night - Sacrafice and get up 2 to 3 times at night and take her to potty - It is hard but it works....Good Luck and God Bless you and your new baby -

My kids are all grown now, but I had the same problem with my firstborn boy. Pediatrician told me that on his 3rd birthday, when he woke up, to tell him, "You're 3 now, so it's time to give up the diapers and use the potty." Put him in underpants and it worked. That was before the pull-ups, too. Can't recall for sure, but I suppose he may have had an accident or two, but I really don't remember that he did. I was amazed at how quick it worked.

Yikes, I feel for you!
Potty training was the hardest thing my daughter and I went through. I was shocked, because she's so bright and picks up quickly on everything, but she was NOT INTERESTED! The problem with the "wait until they're ready and tell you" approach, is that not all kids get ready! And they get more and more in the habit of depending on their diapers (and the routine of mommy helping them) as they get older, which is what happened with us, and looks like you too.

At 2 and 1/2, I could tell my daughter was getting more and more opposed to using the potty, not more and more ready, so
I took the aggressive approach, fed her a lot of juice, took her to the potty and sat with her every 40 minutes or so after she drank a drink, put her in real panties, and dealt with the endless accidents. I can't count how many times I wiped up the floor and heard her screaming at the horrid feeling of wet panties and kept myself totally positive and supportive while secretly getting SO frustrated. Pooping was another challenge, I ended up having to hold her down with a hug long enough to poop when I knew she had to go, since she would REFUSE to stay on the toilet. I was making up fun games, reading books, staying cheerful and just letting her cry when she didn't want to poop on the potty. Then of course HUGE celebrations whenever she went. It took about 6 weeks and then it all clicked.

There are those who would say if I waited longer it would have been easier, but I know this wasn't true for us. Everyone who knew our routine agreed she was getting far too used to the diapers and showing no interest in the potty long after she was waking up dry and saying she needed to go etc. If I had to to do it all again, I would have started earlier, even though age does not matter. I feel she personally would have made the change easier a little sooner.

I feel for you in your pregnant state! It's A LOT of bending over to help with the potty and cleaning! You may want to wait until the baby has been born and you are a bit physically recovered. The first time I tried, I was pregnant, racing the clock (extra stress), had to give up, and trained her after her brother was born. You will have time while your new one sleeps so much-this is what I would do! Wait, and then take the pro-active approach-shes waited long enough! Good luck!

When my daughter was almost 3 i did a count down to no more diapers. she knew where the diapers were and could see they were almost gone and each time i changed her we made a big deal about how many were left and once they were gone she would be a big girl and use the potty. After diapers were gone i used pull-up only at night for about a week and she was fully trained.

When my son was 34 months he absolutely refused to use the potty. I had been trying to get him to for around 6 months. So, one morning I told him he's a big boy now and has to use underwear, no more diapers. He still refused to use the potty and had accident after accident for about a week when he suddenly said to me "I have to go pee" and went to the potty. That was it. I guess he finally came to the conclusion that using the potty was less of a hassle than going in his pants. Poop was another story and took longer. I finally just let him run around bare bottomed, he pooped twice on the floor and then decided to use the potty. We still have poop issues and we do sticker charts off and on to get him going in the potty again (he likes to hid under an end table and go)(he's 3 1/2 now). Good luck, I know this is frustrating!

Aloha A.,
I'm the oldest of eight children and my child is grown up. You may have heard this many times, but it maybe true. Your daughter Abrial will learn in her own time. I believe she maybe feeling a little jealous with her new brother on the way. There was a lot of jealousy in my family growing up. The quality time you spend with your daughter, showing her you love her and that she will be a big sister and a big help to you might help. My mom told me that my brother (child number 7) was mine, and my sister the second oldest had child number 8. When I look back, we took our jobs seriously. There was six girls and then the two boys on the end. My mom said she didn't have time to train us. We stayed in diapers till we trained ourself. My being the oldest, I just copied the adults. I followed my mom everywhere, even to the bathroom. As my sisters came along, they just followed me. I don't know if the information I'm sharing is helping you, but I thought I would share a different side of the problem. I do know how to train a boy. I have all males in my family, with me the only female. Getting a boy to aim straight and not wet the sides of the toilet bowl is a lot easier. My mom threw Cheerios into the toilet bowl and my brothers had to aim for the Cheerios. I trained my son that way and we also had a lot of laughter during the process. My son is a straight shooter and he still is even now. My son made me throw Cheerios into the toilet bowl even when he had to poop. All I know is that it worked for my brothers and son. You could try it out when your son is older. As for your daughter, I'll be praying for you. God Bless your whole family and Congratulations for your soon arrival of your new son. Enjoy your children they grow up fast. Have Fun, Debbie

A. - I, too, am pregnant w/ baby #2, I'm due on 7/6. Our daughter is almost 28 mos old, and she's JUST started going pee on the potty. I bought her the potty books (the ones w/ Prudence and Hannah), and those have seemed to help, but we're JUST starting, as opposed to you having done this for some time now. All I can suggest is to put some of her favorite toys on the potty (bear goes peepee, dolly goes peepee, etc.), there's even an Elmo doll that goes potty I think? Also, Dr. Phil has an idea that gets your child to potty train in ONE DAY, but I haven't looked into it yet. Keep validating and praising your daughter for being a big girl, show her "big girl" panties in the store, and re-assure her that it's ok to go on the potty. Don't stress yourself out before the new baby comes, it also has to click w/ your daughter when she's ready, so if she regresses after the baby's born, just keep teaching her that big girls go on the potty (and whatever else you did when U first started this months ago), and just know that she'll get there. Right now, U need as much strength and energy for yourself and the new baby, and as much as it sucks with potty accidents, you just do what you have to in getting through your days. Good luck, hope I was helpful in some way :)

Hello A.,
You are probably going to find this advice nuts but i'm telling you that it is absolutely true...I have 3 boys ages 11, 10 and 3 1/2. And as bizarre as it sounds, all 3 of them became completely potty trained as soon as i gave up trying...my youngest literally gave up the diaper THE DAY AFTER i gave up trying. So my advice to you is to just relax. A patient of mine once told me that no child goes to kindergarten in a diaper and that was incentive for me. i don't know about you, but the more i tried and failed with them, the more frustrated i became. i also have a daughter who is 1 1/2 yrs old and i plan on not stressing about training her. and moreover, i've heard from several people that boys are harder to train than girls. i hope this advice is helpful.
:)

Hi A. - It's been a little while since u posted this hopefully ur daughter is making progress. My oldest son was extremely difficult to potty train as well. I used the reward system but the little rewards weren't much of an incentive for him (stickers, m&ms). I had to resort to a present bag. I filled it w/ books and other small toys (many from the dollar store). However, for poo-pees, his rewards were bigger. He loved trains and for the first couple of poops I gave him a new small train. After that I gave him matchbox cars, then switched to the reward bag for poops and m&ms for pee pees. I also trained him in the summer so I left his bottom "bare" - he was 3 1/2. I have another son who is currently 2 1/2 who sometimes uses the potty (pee) but not consistently. In June I plan on keeping his bottom bare and insist he uses the potty all the time. I don't think he'll need a big reward system like his brother but I'll get a few "special" gifts for his first couple of poo-pies. With my first son I also found reading potty books to him helped and videos. Good Luck and don't give up hope your daughter will eventually be trained!

We also tried for a long time. She would pee on the potty if we put her on there, but also in her diaper and would not tell us when she had to go. Then she started telling us she had to pee just so she could get an M&M. We finally committed to potty training her. SO I bought panties thinking she would not like being wet. She could care less! I also noticed that when she peed it was just a little at a time, so she never really got to the point where she was soaked. Finally we did the naked trick. I put her in a dress and kept her confined to the house with no panties and no diaper on. We put a the potty in the living room and just put her on it every 30 minutes or so. After the two days she never wore a diaper again...and never had an accident aside from sleeping (she wore pull ups while sleeping). I swear she would hold her poop in until she took her nap and she would poop then when she had a pull-up on, but I didn't make a big deal about it and after a while she started pooping on the potty. Once she had 7 days with dry diapers we took the pull-up away. She had a few accidents and we would go back to pull-ups and start couting 7 days again. She's been pull-up free since just before turning 3.

I know I wrote a lot, so I hope it helps!

I agree with the other mommies...no more diapers! You need to tell her that she is not a baby anymore and she needs to wear big girl panties. It helped my girls to keep a little potty in the living room. I would really do it now so you don't have two in diapers....good luck :)

Okay my daughter is 15 years old today, so it has been a while, but we used a portable potty that we could sit out in front of the TV if she had to use the potty, then we moved it to the bathroom. We did use the sticker each time she did either one in the potty. You usually can tell when they are going to do #2. Just sit her on the portable potty, give her a special potty book to read. Make her feel important, tell her she is a big girl and you are proud of her. We used to have a potty video so they can see other kids using the potty. Good luck.

Google Dr. Phil potty training. It's worth a shot, it worked for my daughter! Good luck!

Have you tried just putting her in panties? I know all of my children would just pee if they had a diaper or pull up. Sometimes it gets messy but the sensation they can feel more and if they start to go you just run to the potty. hope that helps! good luck S.