Need Help with My 3 Year Old Missing His Dad!

I know as a military wife it is hard when your hubbys away and the kids miss him tons. I have a couple friends that bought this stuffed doll that had a picture of their dad on it.It helped their children when their dad was deployed for over a year. I know if my hubby ever gets deployed I am going to get some for my boys.If your handy with the computer and a sewing machine its probly really easy to make. Here is the web site for you to look and buy if you would like.

http://www.hugahero.com/

2 moms found this helpful

For now, why don't you have your husband mail him a letter 2-3 times a week and then when he comes home for the next visit he can give you a stack of notes/letters he has written to your son and then when he leaves you can put them in the mail box and pretend that your husband has mailed them...(that will save on postage but have just as good of an affect) Take lots of pictures of your husband and your son together and make a photo book and let him look at it when he starts to feel sad. I hope your son starts to feel better.

My husband went to Iraq when my son was 4 and the same thing happened. Some ideas that I did and others have done are buying a video camera for the computer so he can say hi and see him every day. Having your husband record a message/reading a story for him on a cd and playing it every night, make a big child friendly calendar for him to mark off the days until Daddy comes home. Take him to Build a bear and have your husband record a message on the speaker you put into the stuffed animal. hope this helps.

I don't know your internet/computer situation, but we got a pair of web cams (only 40 bucks) for when dad is out of town. They really helped my kiddos (and me) a bunch.

Do you have the means to set up a webcam so that he can actually talk with his dad and see his face. They may help with the separation.
Or maybe start a journal with your son so that he can color pictures about his day and then when dad comes home they can go through like a regular book.

tell u son your husband is helping many many people!! He wont understand it now but when he is older he will in the man time talk every day, webcams if avalible & lots of "daddy" pictures! have him make things to give dad when he is home. Tell your husband thanks so much from all of us IKE survivors! And give your son a hug from me & tell him I said thank you for having a dad that likes to help people!

well, as an army wife i know a little about this =)
my girls were about 18 mo. and 3 1/2 when my hubby was gone for 6 months last year. i had them color pictures to send to their daddy, that kept them thinking about him. and he sent them cards when he could. i had them talk to him every day. if they didn't feel like it at the time, i would just put him on speakerphone, just so they could hear his voice and he could hear them. if you have a webcam, that would be great! take lots of pictures and make sure you tell your son you are taking the pictures for daddy...tell him "ok now make a silly face for daddy! now a scary face!" get him excited about it, and make sure your hubby mentions the pics when he talks to your son on the phone. have your hubby sing songs to him over the phone and give "air kisses". let your son sleep in his daddy's t-shirts if he wants to (spray them lightly with his cologne or aftershave, something that smells like him).
other than that, keep him busy doing other things so he's not sitting around missing daddy. take him to the park on saturdays, let him play at McDonald's, spend extra time playing and reading with him. the time will fly by and don't worry if your son doesn't want to give your hubby a hug and kiss right away, it could take a day or two for him to warm up to the idea of daddy being home. kids at that age bounce back sooo easily!

Maybe you can find a Ken doll that has similar features to his dad (hair color, etc.)... Let him carry it around with him, sleep with it, etc. Call it his 'daddy doll'.

God bless you and your family. I know my son would be in the same shoes if Daddy went away.

You've gotten some wonderful ideas. When the loneliness hits, I'd pull out the crayons and paper and draw and write letters to him. I think it would serve the same as a journal does for older folks.

I would also take him shopping for a special teddy bear, one for him and one for Daddy. When I lived away, my sister and I got each other teddy bears that had that special feeling when you squeeze the paw. Make sure it's a soft cuddly paw when you squeeze. And every time he misses his Daddy he can squeeze the paw and send his Daddy a hug, and Daddy can send one back, and they can receive each other's hugs. You may also consider taking a shirt of your husband's and making a shirt for the teddy bear out of it.

My heart goes out to you and your family. Thank God it's only a temporary absence.

Best wishes and God bless.

I don't have any ideas to add to what the ladies have already suggested, but I do want to send a huge THANKS! to your husband and your family for this sacrifice.

I'm in NW Houston and we were very blessed in that we were not terribly affected by Ike, but I just got my power back yesterday. For us no power = no running water either because we are on a well system. It's been quite an adventure, but I know we are so much more blessed than others who have lost everything, not just electricity.

I truly appreciate the sacrifices of all the electricians (and other workers too) and their families for coming to help in the restoration.

There are lots of things you can do. I am a mom of a 4 yr old and 10 mo old with a deployed husband. You could try a paper chain that he gets to tear a ring off every day to count down when daddy will be back. If you haven't already make sure his daycare knows what is going on, they may be able to help. My husband has recorded himself reading the kids stories so we can watch him on dvd. Also let him talk to daddy on the phone- I use speaker phone so I can translate. But it helps them to hear daddys voice. One last sugestion- get a talking picture frame- they are like $20 at radio shack- put a pic of daddy and let him record a short message.
Hang in there- it will be over before you know it!

I am so sorry to hear this for your son. I had a friend once that was in sort of the same situation because he traveled in sales. One thing they did was buy 2 copies of the same book, so that daddy could read the book to him at night and the son could follow along. They also got web cams and set them up so they could talk back and forth and see each other. Good luck and my prayers are w/you.

If you both have cell phones to they have cameras & even better a video cam? They can send each other videos &/or pictures with messages. Just an idea.
Tell your husband thank you for all the hard work. It is very appreciated. I'll have you all in my prayers.

Next time your husband is home use a recorder and tape him. Have him act like he is in a movie,and have him ask questions, where is mommy etc. Have this so he can see it when ever he wants to. Play in the morning and at night before bed. Get several if possible. He will be able to see daddy and this may help both of you. Good luck it is a hard time.

put a picture of dad and/or whole famil yin a little billfoeld so he can have with im at all times

have your husband record voice messages on a small recorder and let him hear his voice during the weeks

put picture of dad in his backpack so he can know it is with him at school (in his backpack)

Draw a red heart on the palm of his hand with perm marker and tell him when he sees it to think about how much his dad loves him

keep a "journal" for him and ask him to tell you coll things about daddy each night..then make a booklet with him to present to daddy when he returns...s project will keep him busy and remembering him at the same time

make silly videos of your son to show daddy when he returns

make a huge "we missed you" sign and hang it on the garage door when he returns

get a calendar and circle the day he returns///let son put Xs on calendar to count down the days

Mybe let him have one of daddy's work shirts as a transitional object to physical hug, have and hold. Schedule a time that you can call daddy and talk to him briefly. Let him know what an awesome job daddy is doing and how he is helping so many people and small kids that are not lucky enough to have power right now.

Big thanks to your husband for working so hard.

When my husband deploys, we have him do a video ahead of time...your hubby can do it when he is home next. You can have him talk about the things they do together, and some of the things they will do when he gets home. My husband did a puppet show with my little one's toys and it was really entertaining to us all! Have him read several books as bedtime stories on the video too...just having Dad around will be more comforting. I will be going through this again soon, so know that you are not alone. Oh, even though it is about military deployment, there is an elmo video about his daddy going away...you can download it by searching for "Talk, Listen, Connect" or by going to http://archive.sesameworkshop.org/tlc/ Hope this helps!

First may I saw THANK YOU to your husband and YOU, and his family. Maybe have him make a card for his day to receive next time he comes home. Or make a box and you let him put things in it that remind him of his dad, each time he feels lonely or sad, pull one out and talk about him. Examples; picture of dad, a toy dad plays with your son with, a shirt with his smell, etc. Hope this helps. Please let your husband know we are praying for all them also!

I have a friend who goes on mission trips and his grandson misses him terrible (they live in the same home). My friend made a video made of himself so his grandson could play it whenever he is missed his "pappa".

Good luck!

Well, thank goodness he can help down there! And thank you for supporting him.
You certainly came to the right place.
After the last 16 month deployment I am almost a pro at helping the kiddos feel more connected to Daddy when he is gone and they miss him.
Next time he is home have him read a couple bedtime stories so you can play them at night. Have your husband find something of "his" to have your son"watch over" while he is gone, have your son draw his Daddy pictures for him, explain Daddy misses him too and needs something from him to look at while he is away, get a jar put Hershey's Kisses in them and let him get 1 kiss a day and maybe one special other time for those really hard times (label the jar, "Daddies Kisses) and have your husband show him the jar and explain the use.
Let him sleep in one of his Daddies t-shirt for PJ's (it has the familiar smell for him), I'm sure I can come up with more, but I have to getready for work.
Good Luck, give him the extra love your husband would be giving him...Your Mom and Dad for now

When my daughter moved to California, we had a very hard time not seeing our grandchildren daily. To solve that problem we each purchased Apple laptops and got on ichat every evening.
It was almost like being in the same room. It is an expensive solution but you can purchase a video camera for your pc and hook up to" aim". Getting to see the kids every evening and hearing about their day was like a balm to our hurting hearts. Happily they are back in Austin!
God bless your family for the sacrifice you are making to help other families get back on their feet.
A.

Thank you and your husband for helping us out in TExas. All of the electrical people have been very dedicated and great workers. Your son can be proud of him. I once saw a story about a 3 year old who was missing his dad very much(his dad was in the service) Someone took a picture of the son letting loose of a red helilum balloon so it could fly off to see his dad. Then the dad bought a red helilum balloon and had his picture taken and sent it to his son.
/best if luck.

Hi M., how about making him a picture book of things he likes to do with his dad-playing ball, reading books, riding piggy back, eating an ice cream cone, building blocks, picking up from daycare. Include both of them in the picture so he can remember the feelings he held in each picture. Also, tape record dad reading books with personal comments and sound effects("crunch","bam","yikes!") as if he were really reading the story. Involve each of the senses: a cotton ball with Dad's cologne fragrance, a rock from the playground, pinecone, leaves, toy fish if they go fishing. When I had to leave my child for a week to help with a sick family member, I slept in the same gown for several days for my child to smell my scent. She slept with it like a blankie til I returned. HTH, C.
Include worlds of thanks to those who rendered aid from all of us who were impacted by the storm. We were 12 days without electricity, phone, water. Those folks are a blessing to us.

You could use a videophone. They are handy and multipurpose (I know of one that is a digital picture frame while the videophone is not in use)! We love ours! I can send you the web address if you're interested in learning more (I can't remember it off the top of my head).

Maybe let him take a picture of him with him at daycare. When he misses him, he can pull it out to remember him by.

Have your husband make a movie w/ a camcorder or cell phone reading him a book or singing some silly songs. Play them at bedtime or whenever needed. Good luck

When my kids were small my husband took a job that meant him being gone for six months and my good friend surprised me and the kids with a video she made of my husband reading their favorite books aloud. That way they could see him reading to them even if he couldn't be there. It was one of the best gifts I have ever received.

Hi M. -

This will take a little time on your husbands' part but well worth it. If you can tape your husband for your son - Have your husband do three bedtime stories on tape/video and then your son can pick which he wants each night.

You can also pick out little gifts for your son - small stuff and then have your husband write out a little card and send one per week in the mail with the gift, so that your son is focused on that for the week - waiting for the mail. Ask your husband if there are little things that he had as a kid, that he could also give to your son with a note - simplified - about Daddy's childhood, etc... (very simplified)

If your husband gets the time too, he can read a story at night to your son over the intercom on your phone. HE just needs to take some favorite storybooks with him on his trip.
Night-time is the hardest on kids - this may help a lot.

One of the gifts from you hubby could be stickers of animals, etc... and then on the phone one weekend he could tell your son to make up sticker stories with Mommy and then Daddy can read the story with him when he gets back. Sticker stories are fun and good for kids imagination - just start it off . . Once apon a time . . . and use one of the stickers then whatever your child says the animal/etc... is doing - it is silly and fun for the kids.

Another idea is to send him a bubble kit or just bubbles to blow. Maybe a kite and then when he gets back they can go fly a kite at the park; or paper and color pens to make daddy a picture to take with him on his trip - your son could mail it with you - involve him in ways of communication for when loved ones are far away - he can also take a picture of himself, glue it to paper and decorate a page with the picture on it and send that in the mail too, etc.....
Good luck - Alli

M.--Read this to your son:
Your daddy is a hero! We lost trees and power after Ike, and all the residents of Southeast Texas are so thankful to the electricians, road crews, etc., who are digging us out of this mess and turning our power back on. There are many little guys your age whose lives are coming close to normal because of folks like your daddy--thank you for sharing him!

It looks like you got some great advice.. I just wanted to add this - God Bless your husband!! And you and your babies of course having to go through missing him!!
I live northwest of Houston and was so lucky to have my power back on the Sunday right after the storm. I have family and friends still without, almost 2 weeks later. They are hoping to have it back this weekend. For those in Galveston, it is a much different story. With all of the destruction, it could be months before they see light.. So, THANK YOU and GOD BLESS your husband and all of those that have come to help with the Recovery!