19 answers

Need Help with Anxiety During Flu Season!

Hello, Moms!

Ever since my daughter (now seven) was pretty sick during year one and two of her life, I have been anxious and nervous during flu season! It does not help that I am an emetophobe (extreme fear of vomit)and that the H1N1 virus is making all sorts of headlines. I have come to dread the months between Oct/Nov until March/April and feel very anxious at night that my daughter will wake up sick. I have a very supportive husband who helps out tremendously, but I just can't seem to stop worrying. It seems like my stomach is in knots at night from now until spring, when flu season is finished.

I am well aware of the benefits of kids being sick and how it helps to strengthen their immune system. I am also careful about hand washing and preventative measures. It's almost like I logically know that my fears are unsubstantiated, but I can't help but get worried and all worked up about it nonetheless.

Are there any other moms who are going through this or who have managed their fear of sickness and flu? If anyone would share their tips or ideas, I would be very grateful.

3 moms found this helpful

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So What Happened?™

I was thankfully overwhelmed with all the great responses that I received. It helped to hear that there are others out there like me and that I am not alone. It was also a wonderful help to hear about how others cope with the flu season. I am sorry that I was not able to respond to all who were kind enough to take time from their busy schedules to write, but I read EVERY SINGLE RESPONSE and got something positive out of each one. I have been trying to eat and feed my family better foods since I posted my question. I'm trying to read more labels and use more organic fruits and vegetables. I am also going to look into some of the herbs and pills that others suggested. One of the things that helped immediately was to set aside time to worry about my anxiety. I found that I stress the most about it when I am somewhat bored with nothing else to think about. It has helped to put it out of my mind temporarily and to use my time that I'd normally worry about it more effectively. I started up with my yoga again, which has also helped me feel more relaxed (meditation is something that I kind of forgot about). It was also helpful to hear about the hype the media has played in the H1N1 virus. Having things in perspective is something that I can ALWAYS use. I am also going to go back to the doctor and see what can be done for me beyond what I'm trying to do. With everyone's help, I am confident that I will get through this flu season. I would like to thank all who wrote a response. Your children are certainly lucky kids to have such thoughtful, caring mothers. We sure could benefit from a lot more people like you. Again, I can't thank everyone enough. I know that we are all busy mothers with all sorts of things on our plates, but that you all took the time to write touches me greatly and I will draw on the strength that you have helped provide to me during these next few months. Bless you all!

Love,
L.

Featured Answers

Don't know if this will help, but my daughter came home last week from college with the H1N1 virus. The media has us so afraid of this flu, I was SO worried about her and thought she could be sick for weeks. Guess what? It's just the same old flu we've had many times before. The fever lasted a little longer, but there was NO vomiting involved, just fever, body aches and sore throat. She recovered in about 5 days. The doctor put her on Tamiflu, but I don't know that it really helped. We all need to take a breath and not believe everything we hear in the media....

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You are not alone on all of those counts.
Do the "logical" things, like have hand wash everywhere, wipe off shopping carts, and pack it in her backpack, and lunch box.
Then go buy a CD for beginners meditation (no, not kidding)........I just did that yesterday. They have them at all the main bookstores, and amazon. Use it everynight - and you'll get thru it.
You are not alone - and this too shall pass (that's what I keep saying, anyway)
I hope that helps.
I know how you feel.

K.

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Hello!!
Gosh, I am so glad you wrote about this subject! I also am an emetophobe, but I had no idea that it had a label. I always just told everybody I am a 'sympathetic vomiter'! I HATE the winter months for the same reason, that it's flu season. Especially holidays. Kids always seem to get sick during the holidays! It literally keeps me up at night thinking about these things. Just like you. Trust me, you are NOT alone! I have a daughter that will be 7 in Nov. I have anxiety/panic disorder that I have been treating with meds for years. But the flu season still always affects me. (If she came to wake me up in the night even just to go potty, I would get a panic attack and wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.) My husband is supportive of my fear, but won't let me be a victim of it. He always told me Kids get sick, it REALLY isn't the end of the world. Of course I knew that in my head, but it didn't stop the fear. I think that the real fear was my own hyped-up thinking about it, not actually dealing with it. In Spring of last year, my husband was working out of town and my daughter was 5. She got sick and vomited. I was beside myself! I almost passed out! Lucky for me we were at a friends house when it happened. I had help. But I realized something. I finally had to deal with it. And guess what, it turned out fine! She had the flu and she got sick again a few nights later in the middle of the night. But I felt so much better because I realized I just HAD to deal with it. For my precious daughter's sake. I couldn't let her down! That helped me.
I think you just have to say to yourself, Ok, what's the worst that can happen? Is she going to die, from puking? ( Honestly, I used to think that) NO!!! She is not going to die. The sheets and pjs get messed up? Breathe thru your mouth and change the sheets and pjs and let her get back in bed and get some sleep. And be prepared. Keep a trashcan by the bed. Or a towel on the floor. Being prepared to do rapid cleanup is a very good thing and hopefully helps you. It might be an axious thing to do that, but just say to yourself, It's ONLY just in case.
Also, I realized that kids vomit more than adults do. It seems the younger they are the more prone they are to doing it. It's beacuse that's their body's easiest way to get rid of something. As kids get older they do it less because their body is adjusting to its dealing with their illness. I was more anxious when my daughters were real young because I couldn't ask them how they feel and get an answer. I felt paralyzed by not knowing, I was always guessing. Now that they are older, they can tell me. Always, after vomitting they say they feel better. That was always a huge load off my mind! Your daughter is 7. She can give you an answer.
Cant stess this enough: STAY HEALTHY: Hand washing is the single most effective way to keep germs at bay. Take vitamins! Clean the house. I am a freak at cleaning the house during flu season. I change the sheets more often, change the towels more often too. More laundry but well worth the peace of mind. :)
I agree with the other ladies in regards to getting professional help. Talking to someone, getting meds if need be. Keeping your sanity is very, very important. We think we can do it all on our own. But it's ok to reach out. You did already! Good for you! I hope you can take something from everyone's responses.
Again, I am so glad you posted your request. See, you are not alone. (I am not alone, either!) Whew!
Hope this helps!
Hugs to you!
L. S

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Don't know if this will help, but my daughter came home last week from college with the H1N1 virus. The media has us so afraid of this flu, I was SO worried about her and thought she could be sick for weeks. Guess what? It's just the same old flu we've had many times before. The fever lasted a little longer, but there was NO vomiting involved, just fever, body aches and sore throat. She recovered in about 5 days. The doctor put her on Tamiflu, but I don't know that it really helped. We all need to take a breath and not believe everything we hear in the media....

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I understand why you are so nervous. The media blows everything out of proportion to get rating and sell print. The government is hyping it up because they are mixed up with the drug companies, who are trying to market a vaccine that has already been proven to be unsafe.
First off, turn off the TV and stop reading the headlines. If something really important or huge happens, you'll find out. I used to think that I "couldn't possibly be uninformed" but finally realized for my own health and sanity I had to stop reading, watching and listening to it all.

Secondly, you will want to keep your immune systems healthy. Keep restoring the good bacteria in your body by drinking organic kiefer (the flavored stuff tastes really good), eating organic yogurt, and if you are comfortable with it, switch to raw milk. If none of that appeals to you, try a good probiotic.
Fruits and Veggies should be organic, as pesticides lower your immunity. It's cheaper to buy them at the farmer's market, if you have one nearby. In California we are so blessed with wonderful produce all year round!
Wash the produce well with vinegar or a commercial produce wash before consuming.

Meat - buy organic, grass fed beef and organic chicken. At the VERY least, buy meat that has not been given hormones and antibiotics (stuff from Sprouts and Henry's is pretty safe, I believe). Part of the reason for our antibiotic resistance is because of the antibiotics that people consume in meat products!

It really does start with what you put in your body.

Good hygiene habits are important as well - don't use so much of the antibacterial gel and wipes, but just good old fashioned hand-washing (ditch the antibacterial soap) does the trick.
While you can't keep your daughter away from every sick kid, and vice versa, use common sense. Don't play with families who "are just getting over" an illness (we fell for that one TWICE and my daughter was sick within 3 days).

It's so nerve-wracking being a mommy, I know! I just re-read this and it looks overwhelming at first glance, but if you start implementing these things in your life now, it will become just part of life quickly enough (probably before "cold and flu season" really kicks off), and you will reap the rewards with good health - that I can promise you.

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You have received good advice so far. The only thing I would add is that if your daughter is now seven and was sick when she was 1-2 years old, then you have been suffering with these anxious thoughts for 5-6 years. This is way too long for you to be tortured by this. Please go to a therapist who can help you. There is nothing to be ashamed of in seeking help when you need it. You will feel much better and be more effective as a mom once these thoughts are under control.

Hope this helps.

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I feel the same way and I think there was some great advice in the answers. I really do believe that the language the media is using is firing up the fears too. I am 21 weeks pregnant and work in schools and pre school so I feel at high risk. But also I am from Germany where the media is much more calm and the health department is way more careful e.g. with the recommendations to vaccinate. I think it is really best to try strengthening the immune system and to avoid the headlines of the media as well a s possible. I read that the CDC is spending 16 Millions $ on publicity for the new vaccine so we will be keeping hearing lots about it and I am sure it won't be assuring at all.

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Hi Lhertogh and other moms,

I'm a medical writer specializing in infectious disease, so I've been keeping pretty close tabs on the CDC reports on H1N1. I hope you'll find what I'm about to say reassuring.

Thus far, H1N1 has proven to be no more dangerous than any other variety of seasonal H1 Type A influenza. Most people who get it will be only mildly ill or have symptoms that are no worse than other seasonal flus. Many people will never even know that they've been infected by the virus.

Because this particular variant hasn't surfaced in the last 50 years or so, most younger people have never been exposed to it and have no pre-existing immunity, while the immunity of older folks who may have been to exposed to it might have waned. Because of this, H1N1 is likely to infect a large segment of the population this year and next, until reasonable "herd immunity" has been attained, so it's likely to remain in the news, which is, in my opinion, over-blowing the severity of the illness because it makes better copy and sells more headlines than accurate reporting. The press throws around scary words like "pandemic" without explaining what they mean. (Pandemic simply means that a disease can spread from human-to-human, and cases have been substantiated in every World Health Organization geographic region. It has nothing to do with the seriousness or lethality of a disease. Seasonal flu is pandemic. So are HIV, Hepatitis A, B and C, Infectious Mononucleosis, and rhinovirus -- the common cold. Some are serious disease, others are not.)

While it's true that a number of people have gotten very sick or died from complications arising from the flu, the vast majority of these people -- children included --had underlying medical conditions, most of which involved the cardiovascular (heart) and pulmonary (lungs) systems. This is the list of people considered to be high-risk for complications:
People over 65 and under 5 years of age
People with heart disease
People with pulmonary disease, such as Asthma, Emphysema, COPD, Cystic Fibrosis, etc.
Possibly, pregnant women
People who are immune-suppressed, either because of underlying illness or because they're taking immunosuppressant drugs to combat certain autoimmune diseases or to prevent organ or bone marrow transplant rejection.
Surprisingly enough, some healthy teens and young adults (ages 15 - 35) may also develop severe symptoms if they are genetically prone to an over-exuberant response by the immune system (but there's currently no way to predetermine this). This is why the 1918 H1N1 epidemic killed so many. The important thing to remember, though, is that the standard of health care and the availability of supportive care is MUCH greater now than in the last century.

So, what can you do to protect yourself? First and foremost, an H1N1-specific vaccine will be available, probably in early November (it will probably be a 2 shot series). People who are in the high-risk groups I listed above should get vaccinated, and should also get the seasonal flu vaccine that will be available in October. I believe that most pediatricians are also likely to recomend that all children are vaccinated, regardless of their risk, because it's harder to get kids to observe avoidance and hygiene rules.

One of the best things you can do to prevent getting ANY viral illness is to practice good hygiene, especially handwashing. Keep a bottle of hand sanitizer with you and give one to your kids. Use it after you shake hands with someone, after you sneeze or cough (if you cover your mouth and nose with your hand), after you've come in contact with high-traffic surfaces (such as public doorknobs, countertops, etc), before you eat, etc.

Try to avoid rubbing your eyes, nose, or mouth if you think you've come in contact with someone who's sick until you've washed or sanitized your hands.

If you need to cough or sneeze, practice the "vampire cover", that is, cough or sneeze into the inside of your arm/elbow, or sneeze down to the ground, uncovered. This will keep you from spreading virus into your hands and infecting door knobs, etc.

Avoid close physical contact with people who appear sick (this can be especially hard to do if you're a regular church or synagogue goer, where people tend to hug, kiss, or shake hands in greeting).

If you or your kids are sick STAY HOME. Don't spread it around, even if it's inconvenient to miss school or work. Drink lots of fluids, get plenty of rest, and maintain good nutrition.

Lhertogh, as for your fears, they're understandable since you had a sick child for 2 years, but your ability to recognize that they are unfounded but uncontrollable suggests that they're bordering on pathological. You might want to seek some medical/psychiatric advice and get some therapy. This does NOT mean you're crazy. Phobias can be debilitating, but they can also be treated.

R.

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I think most moms worry about their children getting sick! I personally hate it when my little ones don't feel well. I think the best thing for you and your child is that you learn how to ease your own stress and worry so that you don't get sick or worry your daughter. Worrying will only lower your immune system and leave you vulnerable for illness.

I find that the best way for me to ease my concerns of my boys getting sick is to be proactive. I am extremely involved in the health and well-being of my boys through diet and natural remedies. I feel confident that I am able to boost their immune systems with a healthy diet rich in vitamins and minerals. As soon as they do get sick I am able to treat them with homeopathic and natural remedies, supplements, proper foods, Young Living Essential Oils and Chinese herbs.

Here are some tips to be proactive and to boost your whole families immune system:
*eat whole, fresh and organic as much as possible! A diet rich in leafy greens, flax seed, a variety of fruits and vegetables with little or no processed foods will greatly increase your immune sytem

*Get a bottle of Oregano Oil from your health food store. During flu season or when any of us starts to get sick we take one teaspoon of olive oil with a few drops of this oil and it helps speed up recovery. It is more effective than pennicillin!

*Get a copy of Dr. Feders book, Natural Baby and Childcare!I use this ALL of the time and find her format easy to follow with great suggestions for homeopaths (they WORK!) and natural remedies. I have shortened the amount of time my children get sick from using her remedies. Also chekc our her webiste and Dr. Jay Gordon.

*Thieves Oil from Young Living is fabulous at killing air-borne viruses and to difuse in the home for germs. I also use it to decongest my childrens lungs. We sell small vials at my store in Fullerton, Belly Sprout.

*Check out www.bellysprout.com as I have lots of information on health and wellbeing for families. I even have one post on How to Keep Your Children Healthy during Flu Season! I also teach worskhops on eating healthy, Like The First 7 Years.

It is very empowering for us a mothers to be able to nurture and heal our children through healthy choices. I love that I am able to help them avoid going to the doctor just by using these remedies and a diet rich in nutrients!

Good luck!
C. Funk
www.bellysprout.com

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Hi Lhertogh! Reading your message it just makes me want to reach out and give you a hug:-) You can't go through that worry all winter long - for your child AND for your own health. You must give Juice Plus a try for both you and your daughter. My kids have been taking Juice Plus chewables for 5 years and RARELY get sick. When they do, it's minor. This is the typical response for people on Juice Plus because it's concentrated fruits and vegetables in a capsule/chewable - so you're getting the natural combination of the thousands of nutrients in 28 fruits, vegetables, berries and grains in your blood stream every day helping keep your immune system strong and functioning properly. Check out all of the research on it and what the doctors say. You'll relate to the video on the main page of the website (www.WeThriveonJuicePlus.com). It's a phenominal value and will give you peace of mind once you began to see her getting sick less. The Juice Plus Children's Health study proves this. See results at the link below. If you order capsules for yourself, I can give you your daughter's supply for free. It's an incredible value. Just let me know if you're interested or have any other questions. ###-###-####. I wish you both well :-)

https://www.nsavirtualoffice.com/uploads/fckeditor/nsa/Fi...

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