Need Help Weening Night Feedings

Updated on October 01, 2008
I.F. asks from Silver Spring, MD
13 answers

I am the mother of a 10 1/2 month old baby girl. I have been nursing her the whole time. I am trying to find a way to ween her from night feedings. I feed her dinner (baby food and oatmeal) and nurse her before she goes to bed at night. Then she always wakes up once or twice at night to nurse again. It's like when she wakes up I try to just give her her pacifier and pat her back back to sleep, but she screames until i nurse her. I know that it is a habit for her and she can't be hungry. I am hoping to find ways to get her out of this habit so that she doesn't wake up expecting it and will sleep longer at night.

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A.T.

answers from Norfolk on

The problem a lot of times with breastfeeding and night time feedings, is that many times the child will refuse the bottle AND pacifier. I have dealt with exactly the same scenario. He refused taking a bottle from my husband or me and he wouldn't do a pacifier. I was left with no choice. So, I had to make him cry. To be honest, the Ferber method just takes way too long, and you are likely to give up easily. I just use the extinction method recommended by the book Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child. Many times after you get them straight, if you change any of the routine like travel or different sleep arrangements you have to go through it again. That is why the Ferber method is SO hard, especially if you already have ANOTHER child. It will take about 3 days, and you will find the first day to be the worst. Do this on a weekend, so you can be a little sleepy and get some help to nap the next day. The first night is honestly the worst.

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M.P.

answers from Charlotte on

I myself have a 9 month old beautiful baby boy and he has only been sleeping through the night for about a month. I tried everything! I gave him water in the middle of the night, sometimes juice. I even tried giving him a small amt of formula with a little rice cereal in the middle of the night. I tried soft music, rocking, cuddling, swaddling, everything! He has always refused the pacy since day one. Finally, I went cold turkey. It was the hardest thing for me to do. I think I even cried along with him. But believe it or not, it only took that one night and he has been sleeping through the night ever since. Initially, I felt bad, but it's not like he remembers it. He sleeps every night for about 12hrs and takes a nap each day for about 2 hours. It's great! He's finally on a schedule! He's so happy all the time and he doesn't even fuss when it's time to go to sleep.

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V.C.

answers from Charleston on

Julianna doctor told me to stop giving her bottles after she go to bed at 7 months and instead of formula in a bottle give her a bottle filled with water instead. For a while she was hook on getting a water bottle in middle of the night. But I learn thats just for comfort because when i go back in her room in the morning the bottle be half full laying next to her. Now I just let her cry for a few minutes and she usually goes back to sleep.

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A.G.

answers from Charleston on

I had the same problem with my son. Sometime after 6mos old, I told myself, you cannot feed him until after 5:00am. You have to make yourself believe that feeding is not an option or your baby will never believe it. I tried everything I could to put him back to sleep -- rocking while standing worked the best. It was very difficult as he was 22lbs at 4mos old! And I am now going to physical therapy for my back! But he now sleeps through until 5 or 6am without feedings at 9mos old. Good luck.

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T.P.

answers from Charlotte on

Whenever our son was old enough to go all night without eating except of course the bottle we gave him before bed we let him lay in his crib and move around and fuss (around 9/10 mo. old) We could tell if there was something really wrong that we needed to go in and check on him but would still take him out and rock him back to sleep. Both the mid-night feedings and rocking had to stop since it was becoming a habit. Unless he really seemed to need us such as soothing from a bad dream, soaked through diaper, etc. the little bit of crying he did actually caused him to be more sleepy and he would just go back to sleep. This only took a few times. Some babies require longer.

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H.C.

answers from Richmond on

Hey I.

What worked for me was giving him water when he woke up. after abotu a week or so he stopped waking up.

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S.M.

answers from Asheville on

Hi I.,

I actually gave my son a cup as I was rocking him to bed at night. This made him feel like a big boy and also got him transitioned from nursing to cups. If he woke through the night I would give him a water bottle because he didn't like that but it quenched his thirst. Soon he didn't want the water bottle either so he'd stop waking up for a drink. I only did this because I knew he wasn't hungry. Hope this helps.

=-)

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S.O.

answers from Charlotte on

The best thing to do is to ween SLOWLY! Most moms, myself included, can make such a big deal over trying to wean, that our child ends up nursing more than usual! Instead of offering a pacifier, which she knows you're using to replace something she wants, offer to walk around with her and sing to her, cuddle her, read to her. you may lose sleep for a couple of nights, but she doesn't feel like her comfort is being taken away from her. That's why she's waking up at night to nurse. Habit and comfort. It's a nice feeling at night. If you just try to stick something in her mouth and hope she goes back to sleep, chances are it will make her upset and want to nurse even more.
Try explaining to her, "we'll have nursey (or whatever you call it) when the sun comes out." Something to that affect. Point to the window and explain to her how it's dark outside and when she sees light, she can nurse. Use simple terms, and chances are she won't understand exactly what you are talking about, but soon she'll get the idea that, okay, when it's dark, no nursing, when light comes in the window, I can nurse!
It takes awhile, but it usually happens once you stop trying! I tried and tried, and I'd lose so much sleep listening to my son cry and cry and cry, and my sister finally said, "S., take it easy! The more you push it, the more he wants it!" And sure enough, as soon as I just distracted him calmy, without making any big deal of it, he stopped. I did the whole wait for the sun thing, and he'd still wake up, but he'd look out the window, go back to sleep, and as soon as he'd see that sun, he'd smile and go right for the breast!
The key is not to make her feel like she's losing something. Cuddle her, sing to her, and after about 10 minutes, go ahead and nurse. Go a few minutes longer each night until she gets the hint. Each time, though, explain the whole sun thing. She'll get the hint and feel much better about quitting on her own! Just don't stress her out and yourself out, also. You want this to be a peaceful transition.
I believe letting babies "cry it out" is actually harmful to them. At this age, they still need to be loved and taken care of and feel secure. If she's waking up and crying for a few minutes, that's one thing, but I would strongly recommend not letting her go for very long without some type of comforting. Even if it causing you to lose some sleep, research shows answering a young child's cries (not just baby, but young child) is beneficial to them mentally and emotionally. Babies who were allowed to stay in their cribs and cry were far FAR more likely to end up suffering from depression as teens and adults.

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J.K.

answers from Raleigh on

I had the exact same problem with my 9 month old. I feed her at9pm and I won't feed her again until 6am. When she goes to bed I give her a sippy(nuby) cup with water after a couple nights she didn't even wake up at night to eat anymore.

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R.H.

answers from Richmond on

Get the Baby Sleep Solution book. My 12 week old now sleeps 12 hours at night, 1 hour in the morning, and 2 hours in the afternoon. The trick is to slowly decrease the amount you feed at night, while increasing the day feedings. Its easier if you pump and give a bottle at night so you can accurately measure, but you can also decrease time if you are breastfeeding. It worked like a charm. We started the plan at 8 weeks when she was had two night feedings. It only took 4 weeks to get her to sleep a full 12 hours without waking up.

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S.W.

answers from Auburn on

Well this may sound cruel to you, but i just let both of my babies cry. She is now in a habit of waking up and she knows if she cries that you will come to nurse her back to sleep. It is just a comfort to her but it wont hurt her to just let her cry. She will eventually learn that you are not going to feed her. It took my son about a week to learn and my daughter about 3 weeks. But if you dont start now then it will just get harder as she gets older!

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S.F.

answers from Charlotte on

I preferred a gentle approach with our son, we did this around 5-6 months old, and he was 100% sleeping through the night w/o night waking for 'dream feeds' at 6.5 months old. Now that he's teething, he's waking at times, but I'm not immediately offering to feed.
I do not care for the 'cry it out' approach for myself, so I bought and read 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' if you have patience and can be very consistant (and it sounds like you have alot!) this works!! This book saved my life! Taught me how to help my son sleep better. Now he naps and sleeps a wonderful schedule. He naps a total of 3-4 hours per day, and sleeps 10-12 hours per night.
There may be the occasional bump in the road where a night time feed may be warranted (sick, not eating well, etc) but overall, the pediatricians office I go to said by 6-7 months the 'dream feeding' phase should be over.
Good Luck - you're going to do great!

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L.K.

answers from Raleigh on

you could try what my ped suggested. try pumping some milk and giving a bottle in the middle of the night. the dr. suggested that i water it down more and more each night until the baby didn't want it anymore. it worked for me. i started with a 4 ounce bottle and about every 2 days i put one ounce more water and that much less milk. my little boy didn't care for the bottle either. he began to realize that if he wanted to eat at night than that was what he was going to get. it didn't take but maybe a week. it was not the food that was getting him up, it was the mommy snuggling. :o) hope this helps.

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