Need Help Getting My 3 1/2 Y/o Daughter to Sleep!!

Aside from all the responses about cutting her nap, you may want to address the "guys." My 2 1/2-year-old daughter was waking up crying from "bad dreams" (no idea from what - all she watches is Sesame Street and Dragon Tales, but that's what she said.) Anyway, we made a cup of "Fairy Dust" that we sprinkle on her head every night for sweet dreams. She was part of the process and made a big deal about how special it was - decorated the foil-covered plastic cup with stickers, markers, etc. - and I explained that every night when we're having a bedtime snack in the kitchen, Tinker Bell puts Fairy Dust in her cup so she has good dreams. It's worked, and now it's more of a novelty than necessity for her to go to bed. Granted, we had just visited Disney World so she's awestruck with Tinker Bell, but you may want to give it a shot. Good luck!

Hi,

My oldest used to do the same thing. I just kept up with the routine and not laying with her. Placing her back into bed every time she got out. Eventually she realized that she was not going to win. She gave up and stayed within her bed and was sleeping at a decent hour. No more of the 2 hours to get her to bed.
Good Luck

J.
www.noahbyjodi.com

We had the same issue with out 3 1/2 yo daughter. Then we told the sitter to not allow naps and she falls asleep at bedtime and sleeps all through the night. It's hard, those first few days with no naps because they get cranky but it's wonderful to have them fall asleep when they're supposed to and sleep all night!

I agree with the other moms, its time to cut the nap!

My older son is almost 3 1/2. We went through about a week of that a couple of months ago and then I decided no more naps. It makes night sleep SOO much better. He still has quiet down time in his room when he plays quietly with cars, "reads" books, plays trains, etc. for 30-60 minutes by himself. Then he comes downstairs and plays with whatever he wants pretty quietly while everyone else naps or we play games or do puzzles together or sometimes a movie, anything like that or on weekends when I don't have extra home day care kids, I'll let him play out in the backyard sometimes while my younger 21 month old boy sleeps. Then he sleeps at night typically 8pm - 8am. I'd try the rest time instead of nap time in the middle of the day. Gives down time to rejuvinate everybody for the afternoon and allows for better restful sleep without a struggle at night (and in the morning then too will be easier getting up). Best wishes to you!!

I have a 3 and 4 yr old and experienced a similar situation with my younger child. It wasn't related to dreams or fears, just lack of being tired. We eventually figured out that we had to stop my 3 yr old's naps. If he takes a short (20 mins or so nap) or doesn't nap at all, he will go to bed easily at 7 and wake up at 6/6:30. If he has a nap, especially a long one, he will resist bedtime, often wanting to stay up until 9, 10 or so. My 4 yr old was not like this at all - she could still nap and jump into bed 7-8pm, but since my son seems to require a little less sleep, we have made the change. Maybe try to eliminate or significantly reduce naptime and see if that helps. Good luck!

We have been having this same problem, I have a three year old daughter. I gave up the struggle on the nap. If she doesn't nap she's asleep by 8 pm, which is beautiful. If she does it's like 8:30. I sit on the steps right outside of her room and read for about half an hour, after our bed time routine with her. I don't talk to her, and the deal is that her head has to be on the pillow and her eyes shut in order for me to sit there. It works most nights. And really, why close the door? We just leave her's open the whole way. I also make sure that she has absolutely no exposure to creepy things on tv and I try to avoid books with images that might stick with her and cause bed time problems. But she can't unsee what has already been placed before her.
Good luck!

www.sclb.net

Our 3 yr old son had a spell where he would do this too. He wasn't afraid of anything; he just didn't want to miss something. He'd call us in his room and ask what we were doing. It was actually kind of cute for awhile. We just kept telling him to go back to bed until he realized we weren't going to let him stay up. Also, we cut out the nap altogether, and now he crashes at 7 without a fight. Good luck.

It's possible she just doesn't want to be alone. Maybe you could try her in a sleeping bag or something in your room. My daughter is much younger than yours but she hates to be alone. She's a good sleeper otherwise, just wants to know that I'm close by. Also maybe, she doesn't need a two hour nap anymore. Maybe try an hour or no nap at all and see how that works. You don't want her totally exhausted by bedtime but maybe she's just not tired enough. Good luck.

It sounds like my 3.5 year old. We finally dropped her naps and put her to bed earlier (but she's very crabby those last few hours) and she is going to sleep much better-around 7 :30. we have a gate at the door and we tell her no one can get in when it's shut. She's afraid of the "bad guys" too. It must be the age. The other thing we found was she just needs t be worn out during the day with a lot of playing and activity.

Ask her whay not her room, find out from her what is the excuse and squash it. Then reminder her of that all day long even at bedtime so there are no excuses. Example... there are monsters in my room...solution monster's only live on sesame street or whatever excuse and then remind her all day so at bedtime she feels comfortable and not like you are just trying to get rid of her, or dump her into isolation. We as grown ups forget what it is like from a kids perspective, they do not want to feel left out and alone.

She probably doesn't need the two-hour nap anymore. Our son (now four) has had a similar pattern for several months, in that if he naps during the day he's awake until 9:30 or 10, but if he doesn't nap, he falls asleep around 8:30. Some kids stop napping earlier. It can make the afternoon harder, but it's worth it at night.

My goodness your story sounds like my life right now...except my daughter is only 2 1/2 (will be 3 in Oct.). Naptime is a daily struggle & when she finally does go to sleep I make sure she's awake by 4:00. then we too have a bedtime routine (always have since she was born) and she's in bed at 8:00, but like your daughter gets out constantly thinking of anything and everything about why she "needs" us or something. We have tried everything too...right now we are sitting outside her door with our backs turned toward her (a method we got from the book 1-2-3 Magic) and it seems to be working a little better, but honestly not good enough. I think it's ridiculious that we are wasting 30min.- 1 1/2 hrs. of our night being a "guard dog" to her room. It HAS to STOP, but I'm at a loss. We have considered cutting her nap out BUT with my daughter the problem is not wanting to go down at night & usually NO MATTER what time she finally goes to sleep (8:30 or 10:00p) she still gets up between 5:00-5:30 a.m. ready to start the day. We just think that is NOT enough sleep for a 2 1/2 year old. Our intensions are to try to keep with this 1-2-3 Magic method a little longer, as we just started it & if that doesn't help or fix things then we will just experiment and see what happens if we cut the nap altogether. I'm interested to see the responses you get, as I'm in need of help too!!!
Good Luck to you.

Have you tried to play soft music or have an audiotape of a story that she can listen to when she goes to bed? Perhaps, even you recording yourself reading a story to her. Make sure the story is positive and reassuring. Maybe record the story more than once so that it takes about 30 minutes before it stops playing. Let me know if it works for you. Good luck!