Need Help from Other Co-sleepers. My Co-sleeping 9 Month Old Is Not Napping.

Hi J.,
My goodness, I feel horrible for you. I know what it is like when your exhausted and can't get a good night sleep. I have three boys (8,6, and 4 mos.)and have been in the situation you now find yourself in. It is unbearable to let them cry for hours but it is also miserable with noone sleeping. J., you know what has to be done. You control your childrens habits. It may be the hardest thing you have to do, but you have to let them cry it out. When he wakes up as you lay him down you just walk out of the room and close the door. Turn the monitor off at night if you can't stand to listen to it anymore. You know he is safer crying in his crib than sleeping with an exhausted mom. Let him learn to sooth himself to sleep. Give it 3 or 4 nights and you will thank yourself in the end.

I co-slept with my son all night long until 15 months--he was a mega breastfeeder too. All night long and for naps also. Some kids are high needs and they do need this special attention. However, at 15 months I tried putting him in his crib and he fell asleep on his own. Since then we have on and off co-slept/nursed as their sleep habits always change. At 23 months I weaned him off the breast and he sleeps through the night--at least until 5:30 am.
I don't advocate cry-it-out--at least not for hours. If you want to see if he will go to sleep on his own try it and set a limit of how long you feel comfortable letting him cry--for me my limit was 20 minutes and that was excrutiating. I'm going to guess as 9 months he is still going to want to co-sleep/nurse. Just know that your are instilling a security in him that should allow him to eventually at an older age sleep soundly in his own bed.
My son still needs to be rocked to sleep for naps at 23 months! And he isn't my of a napper.
Do note to start brushing your sons teeth as they appear if he is a mega night nurser, as my son developed cavities on his 4 front teeth from nursing all night and leaving the nipple in his mouth and for naps also. Try to detach him after he falls asleep and brush morning and night--which I wasn't doing at 12 months of age. Shame on me.
Good luck, K.

does he use an attachment item to help him self soothe? like a blanket stuffed toy or pacifier? or are you the item? try a blanket our daughter have the little giraffe soft blankies and they have been a life saver. they rub their face on them and you can see them rela and get into sleep mode. they say that you can sleep with it one night and it will smell like you. id buy two just in case b/c it is a problem if you lose it. good luck and i hope that you get some sleep soon.

We sort of cosleep with our 7 month old daughter. She starts out the night in the co-sleeper next to my bed, and joins us around 3:00 AM or so, when she wakes up to nurse. One thing we have done that I am very firm about is that she naps in the co-sleeper, NOT in our bed. She always gets put down to sleep in the co-sleeper, even if she moves into bed later on. She is very good at putting herself to sleep (we make a habit of putting her down for naps and bed sleepy, but usually awake, though sometimes at night she's completely out when I lay her down). She also will take a pacifier, which helps. If she's restless but I know she's not hungry, I always try the paci first and it frequently helps. I guess my thought is that if your baby NEVER sleeps in the crib except for naps, he will not associate the crib with sleeping. The other thing you can try is putting one of your previously worn shirts down on the crib sheets, since it smells likeyou. Ultimately though, I think the child should nap where he sleeps at night, be it your bed or a crib or a co-sleeper. He needs to associate that space with falling and staying asleep.

We're still co-sleeping at 10 mos., so I feel your pain. I should have moved her into a crib at 4 mos. Something about her at that time...I could just tell it would have been the perfect time for a transition. We were too lazy.

Anyway, my little one is very hard to put down for a nap, too. My husband recently came up with the idea of putting her in her carseat and gently rocking her for a few minutes till it's safe to make your escape. Don't make eye contact. We never let her sleep in there till recently. Now she does nap there maybe once a day. You have to stay close in case she wakes up and crawls out, but he should at least be able to crawl out more safely than if you got him to sleep in bed, which is what some people do. Just nurse him in bed, but then you probably have to stay there with him, which isn't productive. Maybe if your older one was napping and you needed a nap, too...

I'm in dire need of sleep, so I don't have any bright ideas. My life has been completely derailed b/c my little girl is so hard to put down that when, during the day, I know she really needs a nap, I just let her sleep on me occasionally. I'm fortunate, though, that my husband CAN put her down, too - she doesn't HAVE to nurse to go to sleep. So I feel your pain, sister, but hang in there. This too shall pass!

Hi J.,
We co-slept with our daughter until she was 11mo when my husband said he couldn't do it anymore! I thought it would never work becuase she would nurse (pacify) every 2 hours. We used the compromise system (husband did nights I did days) and just laid her in her crib. We did the same routine for both nap and bedtime, I would nurse her and put her straight into bed (at night we added a bath then pjs). Naps took about a week to build up to an hour and a half twice a day (when she woke up after a half hour I wouldn't go in and she would whine just a little, I did have soft classical music playing) and at night she woke up twice the first night and my husband went in and pat her back (not out of bed) and the next two nights just once. Everyone says we were very lucky that it is not that easy for others. I still had the guilt but I knew it was best for all of us! Of course my husband jokes that it was his idea so he wants the credit but what can do do...lol!
Whatever you decide just find a system that works and tell yourself to stay relaxed and your baby will feed off you energy! Best Wishes and Happy Sleeping!

Our son now 7 seemed like he never slept very well.We have two grown sons that were always good sleepers took naps until they were 5. But this son,never. I just got used to it and quit looking at it like a problem but just who he is.He's wonderful in every other way. He does seem sleep deprived some days and we just try to do something quietly with him.At 9 months even I could tell he didn't like to sleep. I would say, he was always afraid he was going to miss something.I can't say that some days I didn't feel sleep deprived as well.His Dad and I would take turns taking naps ourselves but if we tried to all sleep together take a nap our son would stay wide awake.Sometimes if he was getting sick or we got home late from a wedding reception or something he would fall asleep in the lounge chair the next afternoon,if it was really quiet. At night he always slept 10 hours, still does. So I count my blessings.But I always dreaded the pediatrician asking does He sleep in his own bed yet?
Yes, he was a breast baby too.I don't know if that slows down the process necessarily the other boys were breast-fed too.Anyway I wouldn't change that if I could.He was weaned as a toddler and still wanted to sleep with me and Daddy.
He started sleeping alone last year and yes it was a struggle.We had to bribe him with getting a hamster.
Enjoy your babies while you can they are all different they all grow up and they won't want to sleep with you as teenagers.Most of the time we are just worried we are doing it right.If you love them everyday with all your heart you can't hardly mess it up. Mother for 35 years.

I didn't read all the responses, but I can say that the thing the helped me was wearing my youngest. I love the Moby Wrap. I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old and sometimes they distract my 7 month old. So, I just put him in the Moby Wrap and he's out...nice long nap and I still have 2 free hands.